One. Two. Three. Over. And back. "No. No."

This was how I knew Liv was having her recurring nightmare. One night, when we were younger, before she left to film Sing It Loud, I heard her rustling in her bed. She turned onto her left side, then immediately to her right and immediately back to her left. At first, I just thought she was uncomfortable. She then pulled her covers closer up and then pulled them back off again. I was starting to think something weird was happening. She then whispered, "No. No." to herself, and I knew she must be having a nightmare. I woke her up and she thanked me, admitting to having a nightmare as I'd expected. About a week later, she did the exact same thing and I woke her again. I knew from then on that whenever she did this, she was having the nightmare, and I, as her twin, had to wake her up.

This was the first time she'd done it since she came back home. I wondered, is she still having the nightmare? Or did she grow out of it since she'd left? With the "No. No.", it was hard for me to think that anything but the nightmare could've been happening, but I wasn't sure if I should wake her up. Every time I'd woken her up since she came back from Hollywood, be it on accident or purpose, she got upset with me and said I disrupted her "beauty sleep." I didn't want her to get mad at me again, but I also didn't want to risk her having to sleep through the nightmare, especially considering I used to wake her up every single time she had it. I decided I'd wake her up, but in a way that she'd, hopefully, not know it was me. I had a little plush basketball sitting on my nightstand and decided to throw it at her softly. The second it hit her and she sat upright, I closed my eyes as if nothing happened.

I heard her breathing heavily. I opened one eye to see what she was doing, hoping she didn't see I was awake. She picked up the basketball and looked at it suspiciously. Busted, I thought. I closed my eyes again, but it was too late. I heard her walking over to my bed.

"Maddie?" She groaned.

I didn't respond. I thought I still might have a chance at her not knowing I woke her up.

"I know you threw this at me." She continued. I still acted as if I was asleep.

"Alright." She sighed. "I guess I'll have to watch this video of a cat meowing underwater all on my own."

Totally busted. She knew I laughed at that every time I heard it, even when I tried not to. I tried so hard not to laugh but the second she hit play, I giggle-snorted.

"Aha!"

"Liv, listen! I'm-"

"Thank you."

"No, really! I didn't mean to…what?"

Liv was confused, but still thankful. "Why would you apologize? You used to do this all the time."

"I don't know, I thought maybe you grew out of it after leaving for Hollywood."

"No." Liv looked down at the floor. "I actually had the nightmare all the time in Hollywood and…you were never there to wake me up so I just had to…go through it."

I had no idea. I felt really bad for her. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's not your fault. But now I don't have to worry about it, because I know you're always looking after me!" She gave me a friendly punch-nudge on my arm. I laughed, and she walked back over to her bed.

She was about to lie down when I stopped her. "Liv, wait!"

"What?"

I sighed. This whole time I had no idea what the nightmare was about. I'd asked her a few times but she would never tell me. I thought having her talk about it would help her maybe not have it anymore, but she still would never tell me. Nevertheless, I wouldn't give up. I thought maybe after the years had passed, she'd finally have it in her to talk about it.

"Are you ever gonna tell me what the nightmare is about?"

Liv sighed. "Maddie, it's just…it's too embarrassing."

"Too embarrassing!?" I laughed. "Liv, I'm your twin. You can tell me anything! And you do. And I've told you everything, too. When is anything too embarrassing for us to tell each other?"

She didn't respond.

"You know what? I will tell you an embarrassing secret I haven't told you yet if you tell me about the nightmare."

She looked at me, but didn't say anything.

"Rewind two and a half years. Basketball game. Diggie and I aren't dating yet, but I already have a huge crush on him. I'm holding the basketball, right? I'm about to make the winning basket. But then, I looked out into the stands and see Diggie. This is the first time I've ever seen him at a girl's basketball game. And you know what I do? I freeze."

Liv still hasn't said anything, but I can tell she's listening intently.

"Willow, Stains, and Dad all start yelling at me but I still do nothing. Willow eventually has to grab the ball out of my hands and throw it herself. We won, but they were grilling me all night about freezing. I babbled every time they asked me and never really gave them a straight answer."

That was all I had to say, and I was hoping Liv would finally open her mouth.

"And how come you hadn't told me that before? Too embarrassing?" She asked, condescendingly.

"I forgot! I meant to tell you!" I laughed.

Liv looked down again.

"Maddie, I…I don't know."

"Why not? Why won't you just-"

"Because it's about you!" She blurted.

We both went silent for a moment.

"What?" I asked.

Liv sighed. "In my nightmare, you and I, we get into a fight. And, you stop talking to me. And we grow up. And you still never talk to me." Her voice began to crack. "And any time we see each other, you get mad and try to stay away from me, and.." I walked over to her bed and held her as she started to cry. She hugged me back. We held onto each other for a few moments until I broke the silence.

"Is there…anything that…triggered that?" I asked. Upon hearing what she had to say, I couldn't help but think it was my fault. Something I did started all of this.

"I don't know." She played with her hair, like she normally did when she was nervous. "I mean, we fight sometimes, and I…I get worried, and-"

"Liv…" Before I could finish, she went on.

"But then you wake me up. And I know it's all a dream. But the dream does keep happening."

I hugged her again.

"Liv, I know we fight sometimes, and I know I say things I don't mean. But you need to remember that I love you, okay? Always. No matter what. And whatever happens in that nightmare is never going to happen in real life. I promise."

She looked at me doubtfully. I knew she knew I was right, but after not only having the nightmare but confessing about it, she still felt a little unsure.

"I promise." I repeated.

She hugged me. "I love you, too, Mads. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get my beauty sleep."

I laughed and returned to my bed. "Good night, Liv."

"Good night, Mads."