Choices

Felicity sat in her pajamas on the couch; still looking dazed at the pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream sitting there, empty before her, the contents in her stomach, slowly chilling her from the inside. The cold was fitting for the occasion. Won't fit in couture if you keep this up, she mumbled internally glancing up at the amazing blue dress and seeing the clock: two thirty AM. Rays warm lips were still pressing hers with desire, but Oliver's voice was confessing over the intercom he must be alone.

"Never make me say I don't love you." Oliver had whispered as their lips parted and Felicity's heart closed itself behind steel doors in self-defense. Why did he choose the Arrow over her? A half sob tried to rise in her throat but she pushed it down.

In the aftermath of their choices, her heart was confused and torn.

"Oliver made a choice. And if anything, he should be the one here to tell me how he feels." She recalled firmly telling the troubled Diggle. With a resigned smile, Dig left trying to be his own Cupid for the two wayward hearts. How powerful she had felt at that moment to finally be her own woman, instead of the infatuated geek. That was a choice she had made. Getting up, she decided bed was the better option. Who knows what decision she had to make tomorrow?

Choices, Oliver scowled into his whiskey in the bowels of Verdant. He'd pay Speedy back later for the bottle of her top shelf. Dinner with Diggle, Leila and Roy was wonderful, but now he was alone again and it was two thirty AM. Alone was never a good thing for him. The therapist's voice derided him, "Looks like she's not the only one needing therapy."

"If you really wanted her to be happy, you'd be with her." Diggle gently reprimanded him earlier that evening and now flayed his emotions like a whip.

"I know." Oliver whispered sadly out loud to his computer screens, costume and weapons.

Hardening his heart he slugged down some more drink. "Damn them all." he muttered to himself as the spirit burned its way down his throat past his heart. He knew the truth in his heart and mind but every time… every damn time he put himself out there, he was hurt. He was tired of being hurt, he agreed with himself, sipping the whiskey to warm away the coldness in his soul. Hurt was weakness. Weakness lead to pain and pain… just hurt.

Watching Ray kiss Felicity was an arrow through his heart. And it was pain, it was weakness and it was a choice he made long ago. Right now, it just hurt and that was the worst part.