Rose doesn't give me a hard time about the look on my face when I notice Edward's car, but her smirk has me questioning if she has something up her sleeve.

I couldn't blame her if she did. I mean, it's no secret that my relationships have changed like the weather lately.

But Rose has no clue that I'm questioning Briggs' loyalty and where we stand.

She also doesn't know that in order to distract from constantly obsessing over my relationship with Briggs, I've allowed myself to indulge in fantasies of Edward. Like, all afternoon. It's all I can think about after that sweet dinner and then getting his texts and seeing those pictures. God.

I've imagined it for hours, just pulling him close and feeling his mouth on mine, having his warm hands on my skin one more time.

But every time I allowed myself the freedom to fantasize, the guilt of betraying Briggs got heavier. And then the doubts about Nahuel would sword fight the guilt, slicing it down… defeating it, convincing me that Briggs has betrayed me and all we set out to be.

But in his defense… I'm the one that insisted Briggs be with me before he left, he did try to be noble and save me from feeling the way I feel now.

This is my life. Mind-fighting and over-analyzing every situation that involves Edward or Briggs. Which happens to be 75% of what I think about each day. It's exhausting.

I'm beginning to think that Edward's right. I'm too young for this much pressure. It would be much easier to just do what feels good and figure out the rest as I go.

.

.

.

Echoes of laughter and notes of faded music climb up from the back of the house as we approach the front door.

Rose grabs my hand as I follow her up the steps, through the house, and out to a large back yard. As we step out, the late afternoon sun peeks above the treetops and the smell of smoke from the firepit is heavy in the air. We pass through the laid back and lazy fun smiles and nods.

Rose stops to hug a guy she introduces as Murphy. He's a big burly Paul Bunyon type with brown shaggy hair who takes my hand as we're introduced, and turns both of us to his girlfriend Nora, who's almost as tall as Rose and has rainbow streaks in her hair. We're not short by any means but this guy makes all of us look like dwarves.

"Where's my evil twin?" Rose asks, looking up, with a bright smile in her eyes. Murphy looks to the side, and points to the large oak with lights strung along its limbs. It dips low illuminating the people underneath. "He's up tonight, so you caught him at a good time!"

Rose smiles, "So I don't have to worry about anyone breaking my brother's knees to squeeze his poker debt out if him? That's comforting."

"I think he'll be fine tonight." Murphy's strong voice floats over us and I take a moment to scan the crowd. Lots of pretty girls and normal guys laced around that all look scholarly… certainly not the Clubhouse type guys. Not a soul here would look right on a bike aside from Rose and me. I feel a little out of my element but I shrug it off and chat with them for a minute before moving on as Rose pulls us towards the group by the tree.

The large group surrounds two tables covered in cards, chips, cups and elbows. Their voices rise over music that pours from two small speakers propped in the kitchen window and a much bigger one placed on a tree stump nearby.

"There he is." I hear her say and the expression on her face is pure love. I follow her gaze to the cute guy by the tree and I watch as he notices her from across the way, reflecting the same admiration in his eyes.

His face is familiar and not because it's similar to Rose's, but because he's the guy that was in Edward's passenger seat when I hit him from behind.

He's got a smile that takes up his whole face when he rises to come to us.

Casual strides bring him close and he wraps his arms around Rose, picking her up, spinning her around as he squeezes her. When he sets her on her feet he glances from me and back to Rose as she tells him, "This is Bella. Bella, meet my other half."

Just a few inches taller than his sister, he looks like a surfer… no shirt, just shorts and bare feet. He's pretty, just like Rose. There's no question he's her other half.

I feel a little embarrassed as I flash back to him looking at me through my windshield, after barreling into them at the light, but it's as if he doesn't remember, when he extends his hand, politely taking mine. "I'm Jasper… it's very nice to meet you, Bella." He bends to kiss my hand.

He's a charmer.

He looks different from the last time I saw him. His hair is messy sun-bleached curls, no longer in a sheik bun. He's all smokey smudged roots and pale blond twists that almost meet his chin. He's got big swirly blue marbles for eyes and pillowy blush colored lips that come together beautifully when he speaks. And I like how he talks, pressing out the sound of each letter.

"Thanks, you too." I genuinely smile back at him. He's got a buzzing happy energy about him that's instantly infectious… reminds me of his sister.

Rose has her lips plastered to his cheek as I reply to him and he loves it. He turns to her with concern in his eyes, "Where've you been? Besides stuck up some guy's ass? I haven't seen you in two weeks," he says in a teasing but jealous tone.

"Ah, don't be rude, Jas… go get your guests some drinks!" She tells him, slapping his butt and nudging him in the other direction.

We look on as Jasper responds with a yeah-yeah look and tells us he'll be right back. I people watch as Rose leans into me telling me to keep an eye out for a big guy with dimples before saying, "And one more thing… your lover is here."

She looks at me with a devious smile and I put my best poker face on when I act uninterested. Because although we've reconciled, at this point I still don't trust Rose. Or her motivation.

"Briggs is still in New York," I unaffectedly fire through her tri-toned shiny locks.

She puts an arm around my shoulder and comes close to my ear, "You know exactly who I'm talking about… and it isn't New York."

She digs her eyes into my soul, lasering right through the secret I hold in the pit of my tummy. "You remember that party? The one that Edward Cullen was all tongue on his girlfriend's neck but eyes on you? I know you do, and he's here." She has a huge suggestive smile as she continues quietly teasing me and I have that same feeling that Edward gives me, the feeling that all of my thoughts are plastered across my face. She continues, "And don't try to deny it either, you were so horny after that you made out with me three times."

I shrug it off, whisper-talking quickly, "It was only twice, and I remember him… he's definitely not my lover."

"Maybe not yet," she leans her face in closer to me and with her eyes glued to the guy I met at the dealership, Emmett, when she continues "But listen… let's make a pact that what happens at my brothers house, stays at my brother's house… okay?"

I smile, giving her a whatever look, trying to hide the fun anticipation I really feel and I tell her, "Yeah… sure."

It's clear now where she's headed with this, I just hope she doesn't leave me standing here alone with a bunch of people I've never met and Edward Cullen lurking somewhere in the midst.

My worries are tossed aside when Jasper is back with full beers in no time and a tiny thing with long red curls comes running up from behind him wrapping her arms around his torso. He looks at her lovingly before cuddling her to his side and introducing us, "Bella this is Tori, my girl." She smiles brightly, rolling her eyes and extends her hand, "My friends call me Victoria, it's nice to meet you."

"Hi, Victoria… nice to meet you too." As I'm speaking the words, the hairs on the back of my neck stand on edge and I don't need to look behind me to know who's just come close. I can smell him. That same amazing cologne he wore the day he was just a stranger demanding I move over and let him drive me home.

A hot feeling shudders through as I anticipate the look on his face when we see each other and god I just hope I don't look like a stalker.

Jasper has lips on his girl, Rose has eyes on Emmett, Emmett is oblivious to everything but the conversation he's having and I feel awkward right now because my nerves have just spiked and I don't know where to look or what to do with my hands besides hold the cup. So, I start nervously gulping.

I finish the watery beer and am greeted by a butterscotch whisper in my ear.

"You don't have to subject yourself to pounding light beer and hanging with Rose just to be close to me. You could've saved us both from a monotonous weekend and invited me over instead."

I look up at him and he stares out over the people around us with a confident smirk before peeking over his shoulder, down my shirt and then back at me before casually taking a sip from his cup.

He's wearing jeans and a band tee. Not what I expected, but he still looks good. His nose cheeks and forehead are sunkissed bringing out the amber tones in his eyes making them glow golden under the late evening sun. He's beautiful. I stare at him not noticing that

Jasper, Rose and Victoria drift a little, continuing their conversation, leaving us somewhat isolated.

"You could've gotten a better date than Rose," he teases.

I meet his tease with my own, "I needed someone to make out with while my boyfriend's away. Rose is really good at that and she's since she's a girl she doesn't officially count as cheating." I smile at him while silently karate chopping myself for poking the lion.

"Cheating. That all you're worried about? Being found out? Because I can keep secrets." Temptation rolls right off his tongue placing images in my mind I'll never forget. A sharp twitch between my legs springs as I fain a cough.

He watches Jasper twirling Victoria in a circle and looks back to me with a teasing grin, "You and Rose just friends too?"

The thought that I'll regret this is quieted by my impulsive need to push this where we can't pull back from. I reply with a devilish grin, "We're the best kind of just friends."

He gives his most earnest and concerned tone, coming closer, softly trailing my shoulder, across my neck, and to my other shoulder, speaking silk ribbons, "I sure hope she's taking care of all of your needs." He meets my eyes and we both look at his hand as he shifts his crotch slowly, just like he did that first time we met. The wide grip he takes is not lost on me and I instantly clench at the memory of his girth in my hands.

"Let me know if you need me to pick up her slack." He says this with true concern and though I roll my eyes in response, I'm flustered watching his movements, the memory of my grip on him alive in my mind and thoughts of his soft warm tongue in my mouth etch through.

Edward Cullen is a master at making me want him. And knowing that it doesn't matter to him if I'm taken or not, makes him all the more irresistible.

That's the feeling I get anyway, as he smiles with his eyes on me, fingers gently cradling his cup. It's not his typical sarcastic smile but a determined, sadistic grin and I'm trying to be good here, but his face. And the way he smells.

.

.

.

An hour later, we stand at the kitchen bar as Rose and Emmett talk about baseball, it seems they're both die hard fans of the sport. We've ditched the dad beer and scoured through Jasper's liquor selection.

Edward has kept his distance while staying close since our last conversation. From across the room I can feel the burn of his eyes on my skin.

I don't know how much longer I can play the part of loyal girlfriend. How much longer I can go on pretending I don't feel his eyes on me. Pretending I don't see the other girls and how they come on to him. Trying my best to hide my satisfaction when he pays none of them attention.

I've whisked each thought of his lips away. Still, with relentless force, each thought I push away is only replaced by another much more passionate one.

I'm trying my best to be true, but how do you fight the force of temptation when its power is so much greater than your own?

With the alcohol in my system and my anticipation so high, a fuck-up on my part is inevitable if he comes any closer, and looks at me the way he does, or worse… says the words that I can't say no to.

I fear that I'll give into him and what will come of that.

.

.

.

The sun set two hours ago, right about the time this beautiful numbing buzz set in, and across the way from us, I admire how the glow from the firepit looks nice on Edward's face.

Earlier, Edward eased off of the flirty innuendo and the intense stares and turned into this normal guy that made me laugh. I like watching his eyes crinkle when he smiles. I love how his bright golden eyes shine when he laughs, how his long dark lashes wash over his face when he blinks. I like how my tummy flips when we smile at each other.

I like more than like it.

I watch as Edward steps over to talk to Emmett while me, Rose, Jasper, Victoria, Murphy and Nora stand around the fire, drinking, laughing, talking as the kindling pops and cracks. I'm on my third jack and coke and Rose is next to me, thankfully steady by my side amongst this group I'm not accustomed to. But the plus-side is everyone here seems super down to earth, nothing wild like the first party at Edward's girlfriend's place. Except for James… the guy is a total creep. Makes me nervous.

Rose is much more calm tonight, this is definitely a softer shade of her.

Jake's changing her for the better. They seem to be really good together. She hasn't gotten wasted since the drag and claims she's knows her limit now. She hasn't touched blow since Venice Beach and says she's sworn it off. Jake's convinced her to stick with beer or weed. They have a deal. No more of the hard stuff.

A few times tonight, I've compared myself to her and other people our age. I think about how irresponsible we both were, taking pills that could have killed us. Driving down the highway higher than a satellite, putting hundreds of other people in danger, not to mention ourselves.

That's the thing about pain though. Sometimes you'll risk killing yourself just to find a moment of quiet numb, or loud euphoria… anything to block the pain. In my case, sex, drugs or booze… all three work wonders; they all quiet the doubts, the guilt, the fear, the insecurities, the sadness, the pain. I guess Rose and I both still have work to do. Although I'm done with the drugs, all of them, I'm not letting go of booze. Or sex.

Those two are necessities.

Rose pulls me from my thoughts, "Edward's looking at you again."

Of course he is. The man has esp. The minute my brain thought of sex is most likely when he turned this way. He's an evil mind vampire that thrives on my private thoughts.

I glance across the fire to see Edward looking at his watch, and then his eyes meet mine. There's a girl next to him; there've been girls around him all night tonight, but he hasn't laid a hand on one of them. In fact, every time I take inventory, to see where he is, we've caught eyes.

Like why are you over there and I'm over here, caught eyes. Like, I'd rather be in your car alone with you just staring at you and listening to you breathe, caught eyes. Like, I'd rather be back at the drag, your lips on mine, caught eyes.

I'm one hundred percent positive that I want Edward Cullen. And I'm two hundred percent positive that he wants me.

Edward doesn't even have to speak to me to make me feel these things now. Just his burning glances from across the yard make me question exactly what I'm doing.

It seems pretty clear what Briggs has been doing. And it looks like he's been spending a lot of time with Nahuel. So much so, that she's comfortable making him the target of her camera lens for her last twenty-five posts. That's right, twenty-five. And the worst part of all of it is she's so good. Her photographs are brilliant.

You can see the good in Briggs through her photos of him. His bright smile is a perfect reflection of his loving, kind heart. The deep blue in his eyes shows his desperation for a better life, and the depth of his stare reveal the doubts that he can truly live one. Those images tell his story. She sees him just as I do. And then there are the images of his most perfect silhouette. What really bothers me though are the close up images of his lips, his back, his chest, tattoos and hands. There isn't a part of his body that she hasn't documented. And it doesn't matter that they aren't nude suggestive photos. What matters to me is the intimacy that screams from those photos. The way she captures him. He's clearly become the subject of her eye and what's stopping him from from the same with her? She's seeing him every day. She's sleeping there now. She's welcoming him home. She's documenting him. She's helping his grandfather. She's there.

I'm not.

I get nauseous every time the thought of this flits through my mind. Which was near constant, until earlier this afternoon when those two texts came through. An enticing jolt sweeps through me at the thought of his bare chest.

I pull myself out of that thought, nudging Rose and leaning into her ear, "I really like your brother. He's charming and cute."

She smiles wide and suggestively, "Remind you of anyone?" She coyishly shrugs off the reference to herself as I agree, rolling my eyes and laughing at her.

"Yeah, Jas is great. We're tight. It's been different lately though. I miss him."

"What's up with that?" I ask her.

"I haven't been hanging with him that much since me and Jake. He's not Jake's biggest fan. No surprise there though."

"Really?"

"Yeah, They go way back. Some high school bullshit. I don't know. I don't ask or even try to push it because Jake doesn't like my brother either." She pushes her hair over her shoulder and continues, " I don't know how serious I can ever get with Jake with him not approving of my twin though, you know?"

I nod and try to highlight the only positives I can in this situation, "I know how much he likes you. I know how he smiles when your name comes up. I'm sure that he could put anything behind him for you if he just tried." And I believe that. I could see the way that Jake lit up when we talked about Rose. I'm sure he can swallow any issue he has with her brother.

"I don't know Bella, sometimes it feels like I want a relationship that's happy and easy. Not one that's happy with potential to be tumultuous." I easily relate to Rose. This is exactly how I've been feeling all week. She continues, "Because cutting my brother out even just ten percent has sucked, not to mention all of Jake's club baggage. I'm rethinking my whole relationship with him now." I was clearly wrong about them. Maybe I'm wrong about a lot of things right now. I just wanna shut my brain off.

Her words make me reflect on my relationship with Briggs. I can't ask Briggs to fire his nurse and hire an ugly one. And I can't be with him knowing he's with her more than me either. Anyone with half a brain can see there's a hook up in the future, if not already, if he continues living there and she continues being a live-in nurse for his grandfather.

Would I be better off finding happiness elsewhere? Can I even be happy without Briggs?

Edward appears at my side out of nowhere, his arm softly touching mine.

From my other side, Rose pops a kiss on my cheek and tells me if she goes missing not to worry and gives me the suggestive eyebrows that people give when they're referring to "getting some". I just shake my head with a laugh as I watch her skip away. I feel a tinge of envy at Rose's ambition.

"What's on your mind tonight?" He gently nudges my shoulder with his arm and continues, "Every time I look at you, it seems like you're somewhere else."

"You mean you can't read my thoughts?" I challenge him with a flirty smile.

"Only some of them." He's quick.

"Glad to know I've got some privacy."

"I mainly just filter through the thoughts that aren't about me." He says this very matter of factly.

"Oh really. Like which ones?" I humor him as I twist back in forth in anticipation of what he'll come up with.

"Like, you can't stand that guy James you met earlier." He nods in the direction that sleazeball James is in.

"Interesting." He's spot on there. "And what about these other thoughts you think I'm having?"

He comes closer, walking around me to the other side. I feel him taking in the scent of my hair as he passes and my nerves fizz up. I'm turned on, so turned on.

"For starters, you've thought about that picture I sent you more than once today." He stares at my phone in my hand leaning in, closer to my ear. "You've definitely looked at it more than once. My guess is it's saved somewhere other than that text." He doesn't have a smile on his face, but the look of an investigator telling a criminal the crime they've committed. Assuming their guilt before asking of their innocence.

And I'm so damn guilty but I'm good at denial.

"Aren't you the confident one." I say this to the fire while flicking away the memory of me looking at the picture every five minutes after receiving it and finally saving it to my camera roll.

He brushes off my denial.

"It's okay to admit it. I was imagining my lips on you that night at the party a few weeks back. And then I thought about it every night after that as well. Can't stop thinking about it tonight. You look beautiful, Bella."

He sees me lose my breath. He can sense that he's taking me under and he loves it. He thrives on these moments. I'm begining to as well, but again with my denial.

"Aren't you just stellar boyfriend material? Seducing another woman while kissing the one you're committed to. Women must be lining up to date you."

"None that interest me. And she never knew. What doesn't hurt, won't kill right?"

"You're making such a great case for yourself, Edward. Please, don't stop."

He takes another sip before speaking again and he hits me with his best face before speaking. The firelight bathes him, highlighting his shiny wild hair, his bright golden eyes and his glowing tanned skin as he speaks quietly, "Don't pretend that you're completely innocent in this while you've been passing your time with this other guy. You know and I know it. You've thought about that kiss a dozen times at least, you know we could be fire together. And it's fine for you to keep denying us… to keep putting us off, to label us whatever makes you feel comfortable." He moves his hands to demonstrate his words as I listen intently. "But you and I both know this isn't going away… friends or not, it will always be there; you, me and this craving in between."

Tiny pops and zings sizzle through my insides at his words. I'm almost shaking from this intensity between us. He's exactly right. Every word he's said is true.

I try to recover from another powerful wave of Edward and respond quickly, giving him a challenging and pointed look, one that says we've crossed the line and both of us need to back up.

"And can you read my mind right now, Edward?"

"I can." He says confidently.

And though the tiniest part of me wants to back us up, away from this point of no return, there's something so thrilling about toeing this line with him. This danger of knowing I'm playing with fire is exhilarating. Juxtapose the exhilaration to the fear of knowing I hold the gasoline that could light this fire and all it will take for this whole thing to ignite is for him to come close enough to these fumes. The concoction of the two emotions is addictive and powerful.

"And?" I say in a flirty tone with a half smile on my face expecting something cocky and challenging in return.

He sets his beer on a nearby stump and looks out to the others before turning to me with intense eyes that beg me to just accept him, while bringing his finger to my chin, tilting up to him as he sees fit. "You have these deep desires inside you that you don't ever speak of… to anyone. But they're written all over your face when you look at me sometimes."

His tone is serious and intent making me feel nervous. So I hold steady and fake it through, "Humor me."

He moves to stand behind me and gathers my hair to one side… bringing his face close enough that the tip of his nose trails as he breathes up the back of my neck, just behind my ear. I fall dizzy under his spell as his breath laces my skin when he speaks. "I see your need to be taken over… handled with force and determination, to be put out of your thoughts, out of your mind, to be bent and shattered. There's something about me… you instinctively know what I'd do to you. I'd quiet all the chaos inside you… I'd shake you from the inside out… make you my little ragdoll." His teeth put the slightest pressure on my earlobe before sliding off with the most delicious scrape before placing the lightest, softest kiss right under.

I take a deep breath in as my heart pounds and the heat between my back and his front flares. Tummy spinning, and under his spell, I listen with eyes closed clenching my drink in one hand and my phone in the other.

"That's what you need. You need to be stilled." He places another soft kiss on the back of my neck. "To have all those incessant thoughts quieted and to just be taken care of. Just one more reason why he may be what you want but I am what you need."

I can't find my voice through the x-rated images Edward has placed in my mind.

I shake my head with a smile on my face. It's hard to hide that his words are sending me over and though I should, I'm not gonna tell him to stop. I like this. I like feeling wanted. I like feeling wanted by him and I'm becoming addicted to the fantasy of it all.

He grips my hip with his large hand and continues in a softer, friendlier tone, "Stop overthinking everything and let's just get out of here." He presses up against me and I instinctively lean back against his body. "I'll stay in my lane if you want me to. And if you decide you want more, we'll explore that too. You control this. You call the shots, just leave with me, Bella."

I press back lying against him, wanting to remain this way with him… feeling him against me with the cover of night around us.

"I can't just leave with you Edward. I came here with Rose, and we kinda just mended fences, it wouldn't be cool to just leave."

He steps around to face me. The fire lights up the side of his face and with fierce determined eyes, he looks better than he's ever looked. "She left with Emmett five minutes ago. They might be a while, maybe all night, so I promised her I'd get you home safely earlier." He smiles like a kid with candy.

"I don't believe you."

"Suit yourself, call her." He's so calm and unbothered as he backs up, "I'll be in the car when you're finished looking for her."

And he walks away.

My heart pounds as I scope the backyard and see no Rose in sight. I draw closer to the patio and she's in none of those circles either. Victoria calls out to me when I'm about to go into the house and I stop to speak. "It was really nice to meet you earlier, Bella." She has beautiful teeth and such a sweet smile. I tell her the same and ask her if she's seen Rose only to hear exactly what Edward just told me. I fold to the inevitable and go inside, determined to use the restroom before I get in the car with seduction himself.

I wash my hands and look at myself in the mirror knowing what I'm about to do. The comfort of his words, "you control this," flow back through my mind but the only picture that keeps flashing is one of his lips on mine... not one of us being just friends tonight.

I'm at least five drinks down and still the nerves flare through me as I walk out the front door, through the dimly lit yard and over to the car I know well.

I open the passenger door, sliding in without a word.

Edward has one hand on the wheel and his foot on the gas as soon as he sees that my door is shut. It won't take him two seconds to see how nervous I am.

"Hey." He looks at me softly and stops the car as he shifts from reverse into first. "You ready?" He's got a fun smile across his face and his eyes are crinkly like I love them. It instantly pulls a smile out of me.

"Where are you taking me?"

He peels out, gaining speed quickly, laying me back into the seat, spreading fire between my knees and a content smile across my face.

"We're going to my place."

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.

"Ladies and Gentleman, at this time we would like to begin boarding for flight 809, service from New York to LAX. If you're seated in zone one you are welcome to board."

The sound of the intercom wakes him and he slowly reaches up to rub the scruff on his face. He pulls the paper from his pocket,,confirming his boarding pass for flight 809 as he watches the crowd line up, each holding their luggage close.

He patiently waits for zone 6 to be called.

Soon Briggs will be home.