A/N: Hi, ladies and gents. I decided to throw caution to the wind and navigate FFN to put CttT on here for you lovely lot to peruse. I always wondered what would happen if you take the fun away from Jack, kinda make him a shadow of himself.
I should probably stress that being from the UK I only have a rudimentary knowledge of US educational systems, but I've tried to make as much sense as I can, so please try to enjoy it. Also, I don't own Frozen or ROTG or any characters therein blah blah blah.
On with the show!
1. Cigarettes and Memories
Jackson Overland was pretty much empty.
Other people at his age of twenty-one would have spent the dwindling light doing childish things, like see who was first to get completely wasted on alcohol, or mature things like study for their college lectures.
Things like catch up with friends over a coffee at the local Starbuck's, or go to the cinema with lovers.
He wasn't interested in any of these things. He preferred to remain invisible, to keep people at arm's length. It was easier for him, then.
Easier to deal with the pain in his chest without the potential to add more.
The end of the cigarette glowed brightly as he took another pull on its toxic fumes, feeling the smoke burn its way into his lungs. It was a good pain, because it heralded the slight high as the nicotine shot straight to his brain. He would disappear for a smoke every time his memories brought him right back to the moment that killed him inside.
"You looking forward to Christmas, Sophie?"
"Damn right, Mom! Can't wait! The lights, the trees, the snow! It's gonna be amazing!"
"Hey, watch your language. Your brother is a bad influence, I see."
The night he forgot how to dream.
"Aw, no he isn't Mom."
"Heh, sure he isn't."
"Seriously, Jack is awesome. I love my big brother."
"I know you do, honey. Hey, he's just over the road. See him waving?"
The night he lost his sense of wonder.
"Can we show him that pendant? Pleeeeease? I don't wanna wait until Christmas morning to see his face when he sees it."
"C'mon honey, it's his present!"
"We can get him another present!"
"Alright…fine. But only because I want to see his face too. Come on, let's cross over."
The night he forgot how to have fun.
"Mr Overland? Your sister was holding this when she and your mother were hit. I think it was meant for you."
"She always knew I loved snowflakes…"
"I'm deeply sorry for your loss, Mr Overland. Rest assured, we are doing everything we can to find and apprehend the driver."
The night he lost all hope.
"Mr Overland? This is Officer Gerda. I regret to inform you I am the bearer of bad news.
"They're getting away with it, aren't they?"
"I'm sorry sir, but we were unable to find evidence substantiating your claim."
"Meaning their parents got the lawyers involved."
"Sir, I don't understand-"
*click*
"Sir? Hello? Hello?"
The night that cost him everything but his memories.
Jackson unconsciously fondled the snowflake pendant around his neck, and brought it to his lips as he kissed the diamond encrusted, geometrically perfect jewellery. A farewell kiss. The cigarette having lost its allure, he took one more pull and then flicked it unceremoniously into the snow-covered patio garden. He would probably catch hell from Nick tomorrow, but he didn't really care. There wasn't much to care about, or to live for.
And yet, something inside him stubbornly fought on, through the loss and ache, the rage and despair. The times where he wanted to end it all, there was a part of him that defiantly refused. He wiped a solitary tear using the sleeve of his navy blue hoodie, and checked himself once more.
Make sure your walls are up, you've got a big day tomorrow.
"Jack? C'mon kid, it's dinnertime!" came a deep, booming voice from somewhere within the house. He tucked the pendant back under his hoodie, allowing no-one to see it, and only him to feel it.
Just like his pain.
"I'm coming, North." he called back.
Gazing at the white powder sat happily on the huge back garden, he remarked to himself that he always preferred the cold. If he could, he would eat outside, but manners and house rules prevented such an indulgence. Meal times were family time.
If only he was part of the family.
"You ready for your new school tomorrow, Jack?" came the bass voice of the man known as Nicholas North, Jack's godfather.
"College," Jack corrected him, swallowing a mouthful of spaghetti, "and no."
"Why not? New things are always exciting, no?"
"Nope. I know what Arendelle College is. It's an educational establishment for the adolescents born into wealth and power." he answered, as though reading from a promotional pamphlet.
"So?"
"It's a school for bratty, spoilt rich kids. No-one I'd like to even think about making friends with." Jack clarified tersely, an edge of bitterness in his voice.
Not that I want to make friends.
"Come now, it might not be all bad." A female voice now, belonging to Nick's wife, Thiana.
"If you say so." he replied evenly. Thiana frowned a little. They were trying to be patient with Jack, to wait for him to come out of his shell and be ready when he did, but it had been over two years now and, quite frankly, he seemed content to stay in his dark hole.
"Jack, I really think-" she opened her mouth, but Jack beat her to the punch.
"I need to get back. Early night." he stated curtly, avoiding the gaze of his two 'parents'. Rising from the table, he walked to the hallway and recovered his black military jacket from the coat-hook fixed halfway up the wall, and fished a black scarf from its outer pocket. He wrapped the scarf around his neck and tucked it into the coat, and reached for the door.
Unlocking the front door, he was about to step through when he paused, remembering to say something. He turned to find North and Thiana had accompanied him to the door. Evidently they were accustomed to his abrupt departures.
"Thanks for dinner, it was nice." he said with honesty, but his eyes showed no pleasure. North nodded his acknowledgement, and Jack disappeared into the night.
"I worry for him. It's been nearly three years, and it's like he hasn't even started to grieve." Thiana sighed, wringing her hands together. North noticed, and placed one of his huge hands over hers, completely covering them.
"I know, hummingbird. Soon, he will. When that day comes, we will see the true Jackson Overland, and it will be glorious. Besides, maybe this new college will help…" he soothed, before releasing her hands to clear the plates from the table.
"Maybe he will meet someone." he mused, as the ignition of a car reached his ears, followed by guttural humming and metal music. He prayed Jack would make it home safe as the crunching of gravel indicated his godson's departure.
The drive back to his apartment was uneventful, yet bright. Jack had kept his attention solely focused on the road, desperate to avoid looking at the Christmas lights adorning the street lamps, shop windows, house windows…pretty much everywhere except the road itself. He kept trying to remind himself that it wasn't Christmas's fault over two years ago, but the season still held bitter memories for him.
Which reminds me, I need to book next Saturday afternoon with Aster.
He pulled over close to his apartment block, cut the engine and sat in the silence while the shaky sensation in his back simmered down. His 1967 Chevrolet Impala was one of the few things he still cared about in his life, but it never failed to shake the hell out of him even after short journeys. Satisfied that he wasn't going to literally vibrate out of the car like a pneumatic drill, he slid out making double sure to lock it before walking to the door of the apartment complex.
North had been concerned about Jack's safety on his own. He didn't like the young man living in an apartment block in the outskirts of town, until Jack pointed out that at his age he needed to be on his own, to find his own way. Seeing the logic, North agreed but on one condition: he chose the apartment complex and supplied the rent. Jack didn't like being beholden to anyone, until North pointed out that as his legally adopted son, Jack was the heir to North Pole Toy Industries, and as such could enjoy a little bit of freedom – if he could swallow his pride.
Jack begrudgingly agreed, and after a year found that it was better for him this way. He didn't like the idea of a job – not because he was lazy but because most of the jobs in the city of Arendelle were retail. The idea of having to deal with random members of the public created friction with his longing for isolation, and he was surprised to find he was grateful for North's understanding.
He reached his apartment door and slipped inside. A fierce debate occurred inside him as to whether he should switch on the lights, but he knew the apartment like the back of his hand. Therefore, the lights stayed off. In his current mood, he preferred the dark anyway.
Numbly tossing his car and apartment keys on the coffee table, he wearily removed the scarf and coat from his body, tossing them lazily onto the sofa. Tiredness began to creep into his limbs, and he decided that he would need his strength for tomorrow.
Hopefully he would be invisible to his new college, but probably not. That would be where his strength came in, making sure everyone stayed at arm's length.
Slipping out of his hoodie, he removed the rest of his clothes once he entered the bedroom. The half-empty bottle of DunBroch whisky sat on his bedside cabinet, an empty glass calling his name. He considered having some to help him sleep, but reckoned after one, he would have another, and before he knew it he would be exceptionally hungover and late for his first lecture.
The thought of everyone's eyes locking onto him as he entered the lecture room shot a pang of fear through his chest.
No. No 'medication' tonight.
Making sure his smartphone was set to seven in the morning, he slid under the covers and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the familiar descent of sleep to overcome him.
Familiar, yet dreaded.
Because with the sleep came the nightmares.