Hello! This story is not dead! It makes me really happy to hear that you guys like this and are still reading it. This is one more chapter after this one, an epilog of sorts. BUT THEN I will star posting the sequel "Demons Within". Hopefully this chapter answers some questions that were burning in the back of your minds. Like what's going on at the smeerty office, what happened to the video Liz made with Gunn, and what exactly was in that music video. ;) enjoy!

Dib bent to grab his coat and resisted the urge to put his hand on his back. Now that the odd numbing had faded his insides felt a little sore and occasionally he almost felt ghost sensations of Zim inside him. The result was an almost permanent blush on his face. He didn't know if Zim knew what Dib was feeling but every time Zim looked over and saw Dib's face his smug grin grew bigger. It took a little while for his clothes to dry and his boots still felt squishy but luckily his coat hadn't been left in the gel and was relatively dry.

"Hurry up Dib-mate," Zim said tapping his foot as he waited for Dib to finish putting on his coat.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," Dib said purposefully ignoring the way Zim said 'mate', he knew Zim was just trying to get a rise out of him. Dib had a sneaking suspicion that Zim was going to keep teasing him as long as Dib reacted to it. Dib gave a resigned sigh, it was going to be just like when Zim said his head was big. He couldn't help himself from arguing and reacting to the insult, so Zim kept using it.

He stood next to Zim as his alien recalculated the teleporter to bring them back to the base. Once it was set Zim turned to study him and Dib couldn't ignore the intense stare.

"What?" Dib asked.

Zim reached out and lightly touched the side of his neck with a gloved claw. Dib winced as even a light touch hurt. Dib wanted to rub or bandage the raw bite mark, but Zim had stopped the bleeding and assured him the gel would let it heal clean, but the blue gel didn't have any healing properties so it was still tender.

"You didn't ask for healing gel," Zim pointed out his smug grin back, even worse it had a knowing quality to it.

Dib blushed and turned to face the teleporter. "It will heal soon enough," Dib said trying to remain casual about it. He didn't demand that Zim heal it like the others times Zim had gotten a little too into the act. He didn't demand it for perfectly normal reasons. All that alien healing stuff might not be good for his skin. It wasn't because while Dib was still recovering from sex Zim decided to slide up next to him in the gel and had this pleased look on his face while he lightly traced the bite. It wasn't because Zim almost wistfully wished out loud that he wanted the bite to scar. It wasn't because Zim said if it did scar it would be his favorite scar. Nope. That had nothing to do with it.

Zim made a pleased humming sound and trailed the tip of his claw up along Dib's jawline. "Victory for Zim," he said in that soft oddly intoxicating voice that was doing things to Dib's groin that really should not be happening because, seriously, his body could not take another round right now.

Zim looked at his face and whatever he saw there amused him, laughing he stepped back. "Don't look so shocked, Dib-thing. Zim is the greatest," he turned to the teleporter and placed his hands behind his back and stood to his full height. With an air of arrogance he marched towards the machine. "It was easy for someone as amazing as myself to master these seduction techniques. Now that I know their effectiveness I will try using them in battle as well. Zim will make you into a love-slave and then you will hand the Earth over to me."

"Zim," Dib paled. "You can't. Our battles for Earth are separate, that was the agreement. You can't...you can't do that." Oh man, if Zim acted like he just did in the middle of one of their battle for Earth...shit. Dib would be screwed. Literally and figuratively.

"No killing, or maiming, or serious injuries was the agreement Dib-worm," Zim said grinning wickedly. "You did not say that Zim cannot use his superior skills at seduction to subdue you in battle."

"I'm saying it now," Dib said trying not to sound too panicked. "Seriously, Zim, it's separate. You can't, that wouldn't be fair."

"Zim might reconsider adjusting the treaty," he said inspecting his claws.

Dib knew a leading question if he ever saw one. "What," he drooped his shoulders knowing that he would most definitely give in to whatever Zim wanted in order to not completely fail all future battles for Earth. "What do you want?"

"I will think about it," Zim said briskly placing his fist back behind his back and marching into the teleporter which instantly sent him back to Earth.

"Zim!" Dib shouted after him despite knowing Zim couldn't hear. He grew angry for a brief moment before the tension drained and he gave a short laugh. He'd have to do some research on how to counter act against a sex driven, enticing and arrogant alien. Or... Dib thought about how sex with Zim had felt. Or I could take a break from defending Earth. For research purposes of course.

Dib stepped into the teleporter and the next step after a dizzying and disorienting few seconds was into Zim's lab where Zim was shouting angrily at his computer.

"I AM YOUR MASTER YOU WILL OBEY ME!" Zim stomped his foot in frustration and shook both fists up at the ceiling.

"What's wrong?" Dib asked totting up to stand next to Zim.

Infuriated the Irken rounded on him to share with Dib his absolutely intolerable situation. "MY computer slave is refusing to bring me to the house level."

"What?" Dib said surprised, he didn't think that the computer could refuse Zim. If it could why did it let Zim do all the insane things he did? "Why?"

"Because," the computer drawled before Zim could answer. "Liz and Skoodge are there, you can't interrupt them now. It just got to the good part."

Zim, despite his self-proclaimed mastery of seduction, did not get the computer's meaning. Dib did and he turned bright red.

"Ah, oh, yeah let's just stay here," Dib said.

"WHAT?!" Zim turned on him aghast that Dib would side with his traitorous equipment.

"Zim," Dib thought about trying to beat around the bush, but knew Zim wouldn't get it. "They're mating."

"Oh," Zim made a disgusted face.

At the same time the computer said, "Ew, no. Thankfully they did that in Liz's room and shut off my surveillance in there."

"Well, then what did you mean?" Dib asked angry and highly embarrassed that he misunderstood.

A screen descended from the ceiling and with a flicker it showed Zim's living room. Skoodge sat on the couch while Liz stood in the center with GIR and Mini Moose next to her dancing. In Liz's hands was a purple and pink instrument that resembled her violin, if he remembered correctly that was a guitar. Her lips were moving as her hands traveled over the strings. A second later the sound turned on and a light and melodious sound followed from the guitar as well as Liz's voice, though it was very different from normal. Belatedly Dib realized she was singing, it was beautiful and powerful.

"~darling, darling,

stand by me, oh, stand by me.

Whoa, stand now, stand by me,

stand by me~"

"I want to go up," Dib said excitedly. He wanted to hear her voice in person. He'd never heard anything like it before. "What if we promise to be quiet? Can you send us up without her noticing? Maybe we can listen from the kitchen?" Dib asked knowing that Liz might stop if she noticed them.

"Fine," the computer sighed as the elevator to the kitchen open.

They made it to the kitchen just as Liz finished her song, much to Dib's disappointment. Though he motioned for Zim to remain silent anyway. Zim crossed his arms not pleased about being ordered around. Dib could tell he was about to kick up a fuss so he placed his hands over Zim's mouth and pleaded with him to be quiet.

Zim tisked in annoyance but nodded his agreement. His mate begged him so sincerely, how could he refuse? He was also a little interested in what Dib found interesting. Mostly he wanted to know if he had another rival for Dib's attention, like the Earth when they were in space. He could see the appeal of the music the Liz-creature made with her violin, it did feel pleasant to his antennae unlike many other earth sounds, but it wasn't like he particularly liked it or anything. So how could her mouth sounds be any different?

As the human began another song, Dib's eyes widened and he peered around the corner to watch. Zim could feel the happy coming off of him. Zim didn't hate the singing, it was like the violin and it didn't cause him great suffering to listen to it. However, he had no interest in the sounds made by someone else's mate. But since his mate had begged to be able to listen to it, Zim supposed he could let Dib listen. However, he became more interested when he heard GIR's voice follow along with Liz's. Pushing the human down lower, Zim leaned over him to peek around the corner as well.

GIR was singing along with the human, he was dancing, and the living room was clean. Zim's eyes widened. Not even the scary monkey show stopped GIR from making a mess of the living room. This 'singing' seemed to have a fully captivating effect on his robot slave. He wasn't rolling around in dirt or getting taco grease on the walls. He was just leaning over and shaking his metal body back and forth. Above him Mini Moose was waving his little nubby limbs as he bobbed in the air. The human had her back turned away from them as she faced Skoodge on the couch.

Skoodge saw them and glared hard, a silent encouragement to stay silent and over there, before quickly turning his attention back to Liz. Liz swayed back and forth her hands flitting along the instrument in her arms. At times her voice dipped lower or higher or changed in intensity. Again Zim found that it wasn't unpleasant and if another human was making the noises he might have taken more interest, but as it was he couldn't get past his dislike of the Liz-creature. She had helped him learn more about human mating, but her training had been HORRIBLE and slightly traumatizing and he still resented her for making him look at all those horrible pictures his computer found. While Zim liked the sight of his human's body, he found others' revolting.

So while he did find the sounds pleasant, he couldn't get over the fact that his least favorite human was making them. In the end it canceled out to an apathetic sort of interest. Yeah, it was fine and all, but it was the Liz-human making the sounds. Meh. However, if he could somehow recreate the sounds it would be useful in keeping GIR distracted and non-destructive. So his interest was peaked and he was going to look over the computer's data and see if he couldn't copy the sounds and play them when he needed to for GIR. Or he could just demand that the human play so he could record them to play for GIR. She owed him for the horror she put him through.

However, he decided he would just listen for now. Dib was giving off a nice scent. Leaning on top of the human, his pleasant scent drifted up and over Zim. Dropping his weight down into his human he rubbed his face in the softness of Dib's hair and was content to just lie there and use Dib like a piece of furniture.

Dib grunted as Zim flopped down on him. He shot an irritated glance back, but Zim nuzzled his head and Did gave in with a sigh. At least Zim was being quiet. If his alien wanted a half-hearted piggy-back then Dib was fine with Zim draping over him. It wasn't like Zim was that heavy anyway. So he went back to listening to the upbeat song Liz was singing as a duet with GIR who, though the movement didn't fit the song at all, was shaking his butt and doing a grinding motion.

"~Or is it in his face?~" GIR said in his sing-song robotic voice.

"~Oh no, that's just his charms~" Liz sang back her voice clear and strong.

"~In his warm embrace?~"

"~Oh no, that's just his arms.~" Liz sang out throwing her head back to sing to the ceiling. At this point Mini Moose joined in going "~Nyan, Nyan, Nyan, Nyan~" in a rhythm with the song as Liz sang out, "~If you want to know, if loves you so, it's in his kiss~"

Dib found himself nodding along to the song, the tune was catchy and Liz's voice seemed to vibrate out from deep in her chest, giving the words a powerful lift. Before long the song ended and Liz stilled the strings on her guitar.

"Alright, which one next GIR?" Liz asked. "He knows most of them by now," Liz said to Skoodge who glared down jealously at the robot making Liz laugh. "Come on, don't be that way. Once you learn them you can sing with me if you want too."

This suggestion startled Skoodge and he looked back to Liz with a focused frown as he thought. "I am not sure Irken vocal cords can replicate the sounds. The vibrations are so unique. I still do not understand how you can control your voice like that," Skoodge said as he held his hand out.

Liz seemed to know what he wanted as she leaned down and he placed his hand against her throat. Liz sang out a note "~Ah~" and Skoodge's antennae pointed towards her mouth picking up the vibrations. Skoodge pulled back his hand when Liz stopped.

"Not everyone can sing," Liz said. "It takes some natural talent and training and lots of practice. It helps too if you have perfect pitch, which thankfully I do. It means that I can instinctively know the pitch of all the notes in a song and can replicate them without error whenever I want. I was born with that ability. Those who don't have it have to work harder to get their pitch correct or use tuners, or a reference tone, to help them get the correct sound."

"Mary!" GIR suddenly called out, having spotted Dib. He waved his arms frantically.

Liz didn't turn and stepped back looking down at her guitar. "Mary, huh? You mean 'Proud Mary'?" she asked thinking that GIR was making a request. She began strumming as GIR started running. Dib tried his best to make 'no' motions but GIR squealed and ran towards him.

"~Left a good job down in the cit—EE!" Liz let out a startled squeak ending the tone much higher as she spun around to keep her eyes on GIR. Thinking he wanted to run around like he did when she sang. Instead she saw Dib and Zim peeking around the corner. Seeing them hiding out and watching her sing was about equal in embarrassment to the time she had left the shower to find that a number of the members (her brother included) had been listening outside the door. Flushing deep red, Liz was glad her guitar came with the proper strap or else she would have dropped it.

Normally she wouldn't be as embarrassed to sing along with an instrument, but she had been singing oldies and usually she sang newer stuff and pop songs on her guitar and saved the oldies for herself, which is why she was singing them for Skoodge. Pop songs were easy to sing, but oldies had more emotional attachments to her so she put more of herself into them, letting her voice loose and singing with her full heart in the words. It was like the difference between singing in the car and singing karaoke. Out in public you picked songs that were easy, well-known, and safe to sing. In the car you could sing whatever in whatever style voice you wanted without care. Liz was not singing with an audience in mind. She had been singing for herself, to show Skoodge what she could really do. Hence, the absolute embarrassment she felt at finding out that they had been watching.

"When did you get back?" Liz asked her voice still squeaking. "How long were you there?" she asked letting her anger cover her embarrassment. "How long were they there?" she repeated the question as she rounded on Skoodge. No doubt he knew they were there as he hadn't seemed surprised when she turned back to share her shock with him. Also this was Skoodge, he wouldn't let anyone get close without knowing. "Gunn?" Liz lastly directed her anger up at the computer, knowing for sure that he knew.

"They promised to be quiet," Gunn said and she could hear the shrug in his voice. "I thought you would rather have them up here than watching secretly from the monitors in the lab."

"Well...maybe!" Liz shouted at him still angry and not sure which was worse.

"What's the big deal?" Dib asked. "You sounded great, like nothing I've ever heard before."

"Of course," Liz said tartly. "No one here knows anything anymore. The moron teaching music now is the best this world has to offer, and he's barely passable. He has some technical skills but no knowledge on how to properly apply it. I can sing, but I'm not the best singer. I've heard plenty of performances that were far beyond my own."

"Is that what you'd like to do?" Dib asked and at her confused look he continued. "You know, singing and stuff. Do you want to be a singer? Or maybe teach?"

Liz dropped her gaze to the floor as she gave his question some thought. With a sigh she sat down on the couch next to Skoodge, whom looked interested in her answer as well. Since the singing was apparently over GIR and Mini Moose went into the kitchen as GIR declared he was going to make waffles. Zim watched his minion and his eyes widened as GIR took out objects that had no business being in waffles. Zim gave the kitchen a weary glance before scooting further into the living room. He sat on the couch next to Skoodge and the Computer was kind enough to pop up an ottoman from the floor for Dib to sit on in front of the couch.

"That was my dream once," Liz said to Dib. "I wanted to sing and play in one of the businesses my Family owned. I never wanted to be famous though. With my Family's history such things would be impossible and it would draw too much attention to them."

"You could do that now," Dib pointed out.

"It doesn't have the same appeal," Liz shrugged. "I could teach, I suppose," she said leaning back and against Skoodge. He straightened up when her shoulders touched his and his antennae popped up in surprise. She took his arm and draped it over her shoulders and began to fuss with his hand as she became lost in her own musings. Skoodge gave Zim a smug look and pulled Liz in a little closer.

Zim glared at Skoodge then turned his attention to Dib, who promptly ignored him. He was not going to go sit on the couch just so Zim would engage in whatever silent contest Skoodge was provoking Zim into.

"But I don't know," Liz continued her eyebrows knitted together as she gave the idea some serious thought. "I think I could teach a few people who were really interested in learning, but being a music teacher doesn't really appeal to me. It's odd," Liz said with a sad smile.

"What is?" Dib asked just to keep in Liz's conversation and ignore the intense and angry glare Zim was giving him for ignoring the patting motion he did to get Dib to come sit next to him.

"Thinking about the future like this," she said with a small dark laugh as she turned her attention back to Dib. "For a while I didn't think I would even have a future and after being here, well with things as they were I didn't think the future had much to offer. But now that your father is cleaning things up and the demons no longer have control I suppose Earth will have a better future. I just don't know how I'll fit into it. Things like a normal job or profession just seem so...weird," she smiled at Skoodge. "Compared to my personal life everything is so dull and average."

"It is a human law to find a place in the collective?" Skoodge asked.

"To get a job?" Liz reframed, "No, not really. I mean thanks to my brother's sense of foresight I will never be at a loss for money. I'm pretty dang rich actually, and there isn't anything in this world that really appeals to me so I don't see myself striving to make more. But I know that just hanging out every day and doing nothing will get boring eventually. What about you, Dib?" Liz asked. "What are your future plans?" she glanced at Zim. "Besides occasionally saving the world."

"My dad wants me to take over his business and start studying REAL SCIENCE!" Dib said in the words in a perfect imitation of his father, making Liz chuckle.

"No!" Zim cut in. "Zim forbids you from going back to that," he said very serious on that matter. Last time that happened Zim felt very bad without the challenge the human presented. And Dib ignored him a lot then.

Dib smiled slightly at Zim's reaction. "You don't have to worry, I'm not doing that. I'm really good at real science, but it's really boring when I know that there are unexplained things out in the universe. Kinda hard to find lab work interesting when there is an alien living down the street."

"Especially when said alien is constantly trying to get into your pants, right?" Liz said smirking at Dib.

"What?" Zim leaned past Skoodge to glare at Liz. "Zim had no need for the Dib's pants. Irken grade material is much superior. It is Dib who should want to get into Zim's pants."

"I'm sure he does," Liz grinned.

At the same time Dib said, "Liz, please stop," as he turned bright red remembering their recent activities.

"Oh!" Skoodge perked up, his antennae upright. A little light bulb had just gone off in his head. "You are referring to mating."

Dib's face went brighter, Zim looked confused, and Liz stared at him with pleasant surprise.

"Caught on to that did you?" Liz smirked.

"Yes," Skoodge nodded and grew excited at his epiphany. "It is not that you are saying Zim wants to be inside Dib's pants, but that he wants what is inside Dib's pants, which is his mating organ. You are saying that Zim wishes to mate with Dib when you say Zim wants to get into Dib's pants."

"Correct!" Liz said in praise and clapped her hands softly. "Awe, Skoodge, you're learning Earth-slang and phrases. Pretty soon you'll be able to flirt with the best of them, and by that I mean me."

"Flirt?" Skoodge asked.

"Flirting is speaking in a way to both express interest and entice another into mating. Even mated pairs can flirt," Liz clarified. "It adds a bit of something extra to the moment when you can make someone desire you by just using your words."

"There are passwords for mating?" Zim jumped into the conversation and demanded his question be answered. He glared at Liz. "Why did you not tell me these passwords? It would have made mating with the Dib much easier. Tell me these passwords. Tell me!" Zim demanded his is usual demanding tone.

"You were able to mate," Liz seemed pleased, but immediately frowned. "But it was difficult?" she turned her attention to Dib. "It was difficult? Are you alright? What happened? He should have prepared you properly," she mumbled angrily to herself and turned to start arguing with Zim.

"OKAY!" Dib stood and said rather loudly making Liz pause. "Well, thanks for having us over, but Liz and I need to go back home now. Can't leave Gaz alone too long. And we have homework to do," Dib said in a rush as he grabbed Liz's hand.

"But it is Friday, there is no Skool tomorrow," Skoodge frowned in confusion.

"Whelp, no time like the present to get our work done," Dib said hurriedly. "See you tomorrow maybe," he said giving both of them a short wave and dragged Liz out the door.

"Dib, my guitar," Liz whined though she let herself be pulled along.

"You can come back tomorrow and get it," Dib hissed softly.

"Bye, Mary!" GIR screamed from the kitchen as something exploded diverting Zim's attention from his fleeing human to the horrible mess that was now all over his previous base.

"Um, yeah," Liz said looking at the pink goop that was falling in globs from the kitchen ceiling. "Skoodge, protect my guitar from GIR!" Liz called back and she saw Skoodge hastily putting it away before the front door closed.

Once they were a safe distance away from the house Dib let go of Liz's arm but didn't pause in his hasty strides to get home. Liz had to do a bit of speed walking to keep up with him. "Seriously though, Dib, are you okay?"

"Yep, fine," Dib said shortly not pausing.

"Dib," Liz grabbed him with both her hand and her concerned tone. "I'm serious," she said waiting from him to slow and turn to her. "Are you okay?" she asked again and he belatedly realized that she was referring to more than just his physical well-being. Considering her earlier threats to do something horrible to Zim should he ever hurt him, Dib felt that it was necessary to answer her.

"I'm okay," Dib said in earnest. "It was...good," he said blushing slightly. "And not just all the...you know, but Zim he cares, I suppose," he said not sure how to describe it.

Liz smiled warmly at him. "He loves you in his own way," she said startling him. She chuckled at his expression. "You weren't there during our lunch sessions. I have no idea how you can stand being around him so much. He is absolutely infuriatingly frustrating," Liz said dropping her smile and grimacing, just thinking about it was giving her a headache.

Dib chuckled, "Yeah, he's like that," he said a bit wistful.

"He hated every moment we spent together," Liz said. "And I wasn't enjoying it much either, but he showed up at each lunch and he did all the work I assigned him. While his listening skills are sub-par, he wasn't necessarily ignoring me. He just doesn't listen all the way through a sentence," Liz said and took a calming breath before she worked herself up about it. "I wanted to strangle him at the end of it, but I kept trying because he did. He wanted you, he wants you. And not just out of a physical need, at least that's the vibe I got." She paused and then a sly smile slid onto her face. "So... how was he?"

"I am not telling you any details," Dib crossed his arms stubbornly and glared despite the slight blush to let her know he was serious. "But," he said loosening up a little. "I know what you mean. It was good. We're good."

"Good," Liz said settling for that answer. Dib seemed happy and despite her increasing curiosity she wouldn't push Dib too far and try to pry into his private moments. "I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," Dib mumbled awkwardly not really expecting her to back down like that. To avoid the awkwardness he began walking again.

"I do have one question," Liz said after a moment. "And I'd like an honest answer because it pertains to me as well," she said keeping her own eyes forward on the path in front of them. "Did you two go all the way?" she asked and Dib kept tight-lipped as the blush became more intense on his cheeks. "I'll take that as a yes," she said and Dib could feel her eyes staring at him as they walked.

"What?" Dib finally turned to her, her intense stare starting to freak him out.

"We match," she said pulling down her shirt's collar to show the intense bite mark turned into obvious hickey on her neck. Dib slapped his hand over her neck, mortified, he forgot that others would be able to see. Immediately he popped up the collar of his coat to hide his neck.

"From your reaction it wasn't something that you didn't want, correct?" she said and continued without waiting for his answer. "While in the act, did your body have a, um, strong reaction? And by 'strong' I mean, so 'mind-blowingly-intense-and-sensitive-and-stimulated-that-your-mind-goes-blank-and-you-feel-that-you-need-something-else-any-other-sensation-or-you'll-go-mad-so-when-he-bites-it-actually-feels-really-fucking-good'?"

"Uh," Dib said and wasn't going to answer until he saw Liz's cheeks had a slight dusting of red. "Yes," he said in a small voice.

"Oh, thank goodness," Liz said clearly relieved and they began walking home again. "I was worried that it was just me. I thought I was having a weird allergic reaction or something at first, glad to know it's just an Irken-thing. You know," Liz mused. "If all Irkens are like that, they could easily get people to surrender through sex."

"Please never tell them that," Dib said the very idea filling him with dread.

"Even if I did, I doubt Zim would do anything about it. I think Irkens are pretty territorial when it comes to choosing a partner. I think that once they pick someone everyone else is worthless or a potential enemy. But you're right," Liz said thinking on some possible scenarios and finding them all equally horrible. "I don't think it would be a good idea to tell Zim. He might not go around trying to turn the populating into his personal pleasure-slaves, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't do something equally ridiculous, even if he wasn't personally involved."

"So you won't ever tell them about the extra affect they have?" Dib asked.

"I won't, if you won't," Liz said. "Let's try not to damage their fragile egos. It's obviously amazing because they are, right?" Liz said with a wink.

"Um, yeah," Dib said thankful that he wouldn't have to explain anything more. "Are you making pizza tonight?" he asked hoping to change the subject.

"I don't think I have much choice do I?" Liz said her smile dropping a little. "Even with all the sweets, you sister says I'm still in debt with cooking. Coming home to make pizzas for her is a small price to pay to avoid an unending nightmare world of pain and suffering, wouldn't you say?"

"Pissing off Gaz usually results in suffering of some kind," Dib agreed having several childhood memories come to his mind.

"Why aren't we taking your car home again?" Liz asked walking at a light brisker pace.

"I, um, left it as Missy's shop. When Zim and I left for our race we sort of ran back to his base," Dib admitted.

"Men," Liz rolled her eyes. "We can go get it tomorrow morning."

"Sure, and breakfast too," Dib said already thinking about what he'd order from the shop.

Irk

Underground at the Smeetry

This was not good. Not good at all. About three months ago the Irken overseeing the robotic arms at the smeetry on Irk had a horrible realization; something had changed, and he had no idea what it was.

There was a counter in the back of his office. For all his time there, his supervisor's time the previous worker's time, the previous supervisor's supervisor's time there, there had been no changes on the counter. It had remained at zero so long that no one even knew what it was for anymore. However, under his time stationed there something had changed. The counter moved from zero to one. At first he hadn't even known it was a counter. He thought it had been some decoration or a symbol for how well he had done watching over the robotic arms. Then three months ago the number in the back changed again. This time the change was unmistakable. It went from one to two.

He had gone into a frenzied panic for days wondering if the number meant good or bad things for him. But nothing had changed, no alarm had gone off so he began looking back into the logs and instructions downloaded into his PAK when he was assigned the job, but nothing was listed about the counter. Eventually he was forced to contact his supervisor and ask what it was, he didn't know either. They tracked down every living Irken to have this position, but no one knew about the counter.

There was only one option left. He had to make an appointment with the Control Brains. Finally, he worked up enough courage to contact them and after waiting for three weeks he finally got an appointment with one. He thought for sure that he had just made an appointment for his death, but after meeting with the Control Brain he was almost relieved to find that the Control Brain did not know what the counter was for either.

Apparently, its original purpose was something so irrelevant and ancient that the data it was keeping track of was being sent to some obscure file in Irk's database. A lesser part of the Control Brain's functioning was assigned to go through the data and figure out what file the counter was connected too.

So added onto his job from that point on was keeping track of the Control Brain's progress on the file searching. It had taken about a month but finally the Control Brain's processing had finished and the purpose of the counter was displayed on his screen.

Sexually Matured Irkens: 2

He stared at the screen in disbelief and re-read it over and over. It was not good. Being in the smeetery he was briefed a little more on the process of cloning and how the Irken race could continue. When their goals became focused off planet and their people began to venture out and conquer the galaxy and prove once and for all that they were the greatest being in the universe, that was when cloning became necessary.

Other species reproduced naturally and thus were often distracted and couldn't put all their efforts into whatever it was their species did. Irkens, however, furthered their numbers through cloning. Each smeet was equipped with a PAK and became connected to the Control Brains. All the knowledge and abilities necessary were then downloaded directly into the Irken's brain. The PAKs made them stronger, smarter, better. It also filtered out unnecessary functions, mating being one of them. Not many Irkens even knew what it was or that their species had once procreated like any other. It was only thanks to smooth operations of the smeetery that they were able to be the amazing race that they were.

So according to the data in his hands, there had been no record of any sexually matured Irken since they had gained greater space travel. Now, however, there were two. Originally there had only been one, but because he hadn't known what it was the affliction had spread and now there were two. He had no idea what this could mean for their race, but it couldn't be good. The PAKs blocked all of those functions for a reason, there had to be a reason.

The Irken hyperventilated for a few moments more as he thought about how this could have happened. It could be a virus infecting Irkens and changing their PAKs. It could be defective PAKs. It could also be a defect in the smeerty. But despite what the cause was, it was spreading. If it had gone from zero to one and now to two, there was no doubt in his mind that the number could increase and he could only imagine what that might mean for his species.

What if being sexually mature meant that they would die quickly? Or go crazy and start killing other Irkens? What if it meant that they would start spawning their own smeets and make the smeetry obsolete? He would be out of a job! And what about those smeets being spawned? How would they get PAKs? Who would give them to them? Irkens couldn't live without PAKs. No smeet could exist without them. That was another reason the PAK stopped natural reproduction, what if smeets were born away from Irk? They wouldn't get PAKs and they would die and then there would be no more new smeets and soon they would all die out.

It was horrible. This was all horrible. The Tallest had to know!

His claws flying across his keyboard, he sent an urgent report to his Tallest alerting them to this crisis. If anyone could fix this they would. He had no doubt about that.

After the message was sent, he breathed a sigh of relief. No matter what happened, the situation was out of his hands. It wasn't his job to fix this. He just monitored stuff. Sending the message meant his role in this was over. The Tallest would fix it now. There was nothing to worry about.

His mind eased, he put his feet back up on the consul and began eating his candies.

On the Massive: the Irken Armada's mother ship

"Red, this is horrible!"

"What?" Red, a Tallest and one of the two leaders of the Irken race, looked up from the screen he held in his hands. His antennae perked at the distress in his co-leader's voice.

"All the good snacks are gone from our stash," Purple lamented.

Red frowned, that was horrible. "I'll send an order for more right now," he said flicking his finger across his screen to move the document he was reading and pull up the Massive's communication system. He sent an order to the snacking department to alert them of their shortage. Almost instantly he received a bing letting him know they responded. "They're putting together a bundle and it will be sent over in five minutes," Red read.

"Good," Purple said coming over to sit to him. "If they arrive any later I'll throw them out the air lock." He paused a moment and stared out at the large screen in front of them, he watched for a moment then became irritated. "Why is it taking so long to subdue such a small planet? You!" Purple pointed to one of the many Irkens controlling the Massive in the bridge. "Why aren't we using the sweeper cannons? Invader Bork said the planet was ripe for conquest. Why haven't we conquered it yet?"

"Sir!" the Irken stood up and saluted. "The planet was ready but then the Resisty arrived and we are currently engaged in combat with them."

"Ugh! Again?" Purple glared at the screen. "That's three times now, why haven't we squashed them yet?"

Red was wondering the same thing. They hadn't lost a battle with the rebel group, but they showed up at every conquered planet and fought back. Eventually they were able to take the planet, but during the battle most of the citizens would evacuate leaving them very few slaves. It was stretching their resources thin. If they wanted to turn the planet into something awesome, like snacking planet, or a parking structure, or an office planet they would end up having to send their own people over to build and run it. Because of this, Red noticed a lack of enthusiasm from new recruits. What fun was taking over a planet just to have more Irkens work there? Irkens should be telling the conquered slaves what to do, not doing the jobs themselves.

"Sir! I believe it is because more species are joining in their cause and most do not easily submit to Irken rule anymore. We have also received reports of previously conquered planets' slaves having more rebellions," the same Irken said.

They had also received those reports. "It's weird," Red said pulling his document back up. "I've noticed this as well, and the support this group is getting has been very recent. What's making so many species join them when they know we'll win eventually?"

"Um," another navigation Irken said as he turned in his chair. "I think it's because of their recruiting videos."

"Recruiting videos?" Purple said. "What videos?"

"I can pull them up on the screen if you would like, they are easily found on the interstellar web," the Irken said.

"Do that," Purple said irritated and the screen in front of them switched from a view of the battle to a webpage that listed all kinds of videos from across the universe. The one called "For Cool Beings Only" began to play.

"Hey," a vortian on the screen said. He wore black glasses over his eyes and a blue jumpsuit with a black jacket over it. He was casually leaning on a brick wall in an alley. He tilted his head to look over the glasses at the camera. Under the glasses he was wearing green goggles. "If you are watching this you are already taking the first step towards being a cool guy or gal, whatever," he shrugged indifferently. "The next step is joining the Resisty. We are a super cool group of aliens that don't conform to the Irken rule. Obeying the Irkens is super lame. If you are obeying them you are super lame. You should stop doing that, but whatever," again he shrugged and looked away from the camera.

"I joined the Resisty because I'm a cool guy. I'm a rebel and that's super cool. Being a slave is super lame. Obeying those lame and super un-cool Irkens is your choice, I guess, if you want to be a loser. As a rebel I get to fly around in boss ships stolen back from the Irkens or in ones that were built by cool rebels like myself. I only follow cool rules, like helping out others. I get to save lives. I'm a hero to millions of people, but whatever," he said still having an air of indifference. He pushed off from the wall and walked down the alley. On his jacket were the words 'RESIST' in blue and silver. The camera followed him and at the end of the ally was a group of aliens all with black sunglasses and jackets. Two females, came to stand next to the vortian and linked arms with him.

He looked back over his shoulder. "So are you an uncool, loser, lame nobody? Or are you a member of the Resisty?" he turned back around and the video faded to black then the words "Join the Resisty, because it's cool," appeared in bright blue letters before slowly fading to black and the video ended.

"We're not lame," Purple mumbled. "We're the Tallest, we are the coolest, right Red?"

"Yeah," Red said also affected by the video. Being an Irken was cool. Being the Tallest was the best. Being a shorter Irken might be sort of lame, but then even those Irkens were superior over other species. "What has the administration and foreign species overseers done about this?" Red asked.

"Well," another Irken said, most of the navigation and bridge workers had turned around to watch the video. A good amount of them felt less motivated to keep track of the battle. They wouldn't say they felt sad, but they were all a little upset at being called lame. "A counter video was sent out, but it didn't go well."

"What? How can a video we put out not be amazing?" Purple said.

A few of the Irkens sitting in the bridge exchanged glances, they'd all seen the video and the counter video the Resisty had already sent out.

"It's not that it wasn't amazing," another said not wanting to upset their Tallest. "It's just that the Resisty took it and twisted it to make it not amazing."

Seeing the embarrassed sort of uncomfortable looks they were giving each other, Red spoke up, "Put the video on," he wanted to see how the Resisty could make something they did bad.

The video called "Irkens admit they are lame" began playing. It started out fine, with images of their armies and all the Irkens flying in their ships but as the ship flew by the sound cut out to what was obviously someone making rude sounds with their mouth. Then it switched to a single Irken and he began speaking. "I'm part of the Irken Armada and it's—," the voice suddenly changed to a deeper one as another cut out what the Irken actually said and dubbed over the video. "-the lamest thing ever. I'm a super uncool loser. Do do dee. I'm so stupid." The image changed and showed a video of them, the Tallest.

Red recognized the video of when they gave a speech to the masses about how they were expanding their conquest and they had taken over another planet. But instead of their voices speaking it was that same voice. "We're the Tallest, and we're the biggest losers ever," in the background there was snickering and the voice telling them to hush before continuing. "We lead an army of losers. Look out if we come we might make you uncool losers too. Do dee. We're so lame. La la. We're stupid."

The video then ended on the Irken symbol, but a tongue was drawn on hanging out and 'x's were drawn over the eyes. The words "Submit to the Irken Armada" were changed and the word 'armada' was crossed out to say instead. "Submit to the Irken Lame-ada".

"We did not say any of those words!" Purple said outraged. "Hunt down the Resisty right now and destroy them!"

"We can't, My Tallest," a brave Irken said in a very humble voice.

"What?" Purple glared at the Irken.

"Our forces are already spread thin. We can't take any soldiers from the conquered planets without risk of an uprising, and we already have the bare minimum of ships protecting the Massive. We have no more troops to send out."

"He's right," Red said grumpy and he handed over the document he had been reading to his co-leader. Purple began scanning the information as Red spoke. "The planets we do have aren't producing as much because efforts are being made to keep the slaves subdued. In the new crop of Irkens ready for assigning there are less and less Irkens taking the solider and army tests. Most are going into drone work needed for the conquered planets."

"There is a great increase in Irkens wanting to be Invaders," Purple said looking over the information.

"Really?" Red said leaning close to look over Purple's shoulder. He hadn't read that far yet.

"Yes, here," Purple pointed to the data. "It's way above normal numbers, but we aren't taking more Invaders than normal. It seems that those who don't pass don't try to be soldiers or go into the armada like they normally would, they sign up for conquered planet work like all other Irkens."

"Weird, why are Invaders so popular? They are always popular, but it's the most difficult job. Why go from there right to drone work? Wouldn't they want to be Elite soldiers? Or at least work on the Massive?" Red mused out loud.

"Sometimes Invaders visit the planets they conquered," a female Irken said. "If they can't be Invaders, the next chance they have at meeting her is working on a conquered planet."

"Her?" Purple asked. "Her, who? Who do Irkens want to meet more than us? We're the Tallest, everyone should want to work on the Massive, it's where we are."

"O-Of course, My Tallest," the female said nervously. "But we get to see you in new videos and you make appearances all the time, but Invader Zil only sent out that one message and no one has heard from her since. No one knows what planet she is on or when they might be able to see her again. Invaders can all contact each other, many are hoping that she will finally respond once her mission is over."

"Invader Zil?" Red asked.

"Yeah!" another Irken spoke up excitedly, he watched her video more than fifty times since it had been leaked to the web. "She's the tallest Invader ever, and even when disguised she looks so..." he couldn't think of a word to describe it so he made squeeing sounds instead. A few others who also saw the video nodded.

Red and Purple exchanged looks. They knew all of the Invaders by name since they had to check in on them so often. There was no Invader Zil listed and certainly no tall Invaders either.

"Put on her mission video," Red said. "We'd like to see it again."

"Right away, Sirs!" the squeeing Irken said spinning in his chair to pull up the video called "Heart Invader".

The video started with the sounds of sirens and alarms. It appeared to be inside some facility, the angle only showed groups of boots running by. An automated voice spoke, "Attention all personnel: security has been compromised. Be on the lookout for intruders. n compromised. Be on the look ppeared to be up and ured along on t he bridge too long either. are on duty then we Control Br" Ihe image switched to show a group of human soldiers hunkered down with loaded guns aiming at a closed door. "I repeat security has been compromised, all-tshhhh" the voice cut out into static, then all sound stopped completely as a new and distinctly female voice spoke, "The Invasion has begun."

The door in front of the soldiers burst open as the alarm continued added with it a heavy rhythmic bass. From the door smoke poured out, making all the soldiers cough and fall. Through the smoke the silhouette of a tall figure could be seen. She spoke in a melodic voice, singing her words as the smoke cleared, "~I've traveled far/ And you've fallen fast/ With your pitiful defenses/ How could you hope to last?~" the camera angle started at her boots and traveled up, accentuating her long legs, curved hips, slender torso though she had more curves on her chest, up further they could finally see her face; tanned skin, a nose, pink lips, and multicolored eyes of white, black and gold. Black hair in a zig-zag framed her face and twisted up into two braids on her head, mimicking antennae.

"~It's over for you/ You've better surrender/ I've come with an armada/ To beat your heart's defender.~" she sang out then laughed, as the music picked up the image seemed to skip and flicker, going between her current form and that of her Irken one, gold eyes, sleek antennae, and light green skin.

The beat picked up and she began walking towards the soldiers who fell in submission at her feet as she passed them. As she walked her image kept flickering as she sang and she flourished as she walked, strutting and moving her arms sensually. "~I'm an Invader of a different kind/ I'll invade your body and mind/ I'm like a poison seeping into your soul/ I've got you now, so just give up control.~" She reached the last resisting soldier and he dropped his weapon as she placed her fingertip under his chin. Using only one finger she pulled him closer to her face and his expression became that of complete surrender as his eyes closed. When their lips were almost close enough to touch she slapped her hand down on his chest and pulled away a pink smoky heart.

"~Cause I'm a heart Invader/ H-Heart Invader/ You belong to me/ Yeah, you belong to me,~" she sang and as she pulled away the scenery dropped away and it was just her. As she sang the background exploded into hearts and she danced, her form switching between Irken and her disguise. Next to her the conquered soldiers appeared and danced in sync with her, all their eyes were locked onto her and over their chests were locks that read 'property of Zil' on them. Even her SIR unit danced in sync next to her. "~H-Heart Invader, Ha-ha-heart Invader/ Property of Zil/ Yeah, you belong to me.~"

She spun around and the scene changed to her on an Irken ship. An automated female voice spoke as the music picked up the bass and Invader Zil sat down at the command, her face reflecting her computer's light. "Attention Invader Zil," the computer's voice said. "Attention Invader Zil. New mission received. Locating target." There was a pause as the bass picked up then dropped. "Target Acquired."

The image changed again to Invader Zil swooping down in her voot onto what looked like the planet the Tallest knew as Earth. She emerged singing and as she sang chaos filled in around her but she walked through the destruction and just sang towards the camera. Sometimes a few soldiers would rush her but she waved at them or touched them and they fell to their knees in adornment then slowly filing in behind her and began fighting the opposing forces for her.

"~I'm the best of the best, so they send me out first/ For when it comes to destruction, I've an unquenchable thirst/ Fire and brimstone, doom and dismay/ Lasers and gunshots, it's all child's play.~

"~Laying waste to cities and making empires fall/ Such things I'll leave to those underneath my thrall/ Because your love is what I'm after, all your love for me/ Give up your heart and surrender, you know that you can't flee.~"

The image changed back to the exploding hearts and her dancing with the conquered soldiers and her SIR unit as she repeated about being a Heart invader. When that part ended, it showed her back inside her ship sitting at the command center and she watched numerous screen all showing images of her making males fall at her feet.

"~It's the thrill of the hunt, baby, it's the love of the chase,~" she sang flicking away the screens and dancing around the command center as she looked into the camera. "~It's got me searching and destroying men all across space/ Boys are too easy they fall left and right/ Men are better targets they put up a fight.~"

"~Is that your world shaking or just you from fear?/ Is that poison in your blood or something more severe?/ Now that your heart is mine as my Invader's loot/ I'll kiss you good-bye with a two fingered salute.~" She placed two fingers on her lips then saluted the camera as she sat back down in her chair. "~Once your heart is won, my little game is done/ My mission is complete, with such a simple feat/ Doesn't matter if you cry, I'll still say good-bye.~" She sang and winked at the camera. Then the screen in front of her flashed 'incoming transmission'. She picked up a headset and listened as the bass and music picked up. As she listened her face grew angry and she threw the headset down and stood as the beat picked up even faster.

"~You say you want my love, are you serious or insane?/ When you surrender to Invader Zil all you get is her name.~" She laughed evilly again and her image flicked between her two forms, Irken and human, before going back to the hearts exploding and she danced and sang.

"~Cause I'm a Heart Invader/ H-Heart Invader/ You belong to me/ Yeah, you belong to me,~" she sang and danced, one by one pushing out the soldiers so she could dance alone with her SIR unit. "~H-Heart Invader/ Ha-ha-heart Invader/ Property of Zil/ Yeah, you belong to me/ Oh, you belong to me.~" she said and ended with her two-fingered kissing salute towards the camera.

When the video ended a few of the Irkens were still humming and one said softly, "You belong to me, yeah, you belong to me," the beat still fresh in his head.

"My Tallest," one female Irken suddenly spoke up in excitement. "Why don't you call back Invader Zil from her current mission to do a video against the Resisty?" at her suggestion all the other Irkens nodded and voiced their agreement.

"If she was on the Massive or making visits to the Armada then I'm sure more Irkens would want to join," another said enthusiastically.

"Yeah, her mission report was amazing! I would give up my snack ration to be able to hear about her missions in person."

Several other Irkens began talking about their excitement and boasting that they would do to be able to meet her in person.

"That's a great idea," Red said loudly causing the racket to die down. "I'm glad I thought of it. We'll go right away and see how she's doing and see if she can leave her current mission early," he said then grabbed his confused co-leader and dragged him off the bridge. Red pulled Purple into an elevator that would bring them right to their Tallest chambers on the Massive. Here they would snack and talk without any other Irkens around.

"What are you talking about, Red?" Purple said once they were inside. "There is no Invader Zil!"

"I know that, and you know that, but they don't," Red said gesturing wildly to indicate every other Irken out there. "What do you think would happen if they all found out that this super popular Invader didn't exist? Or even worse what if the Resisty found that Zil person first and got her to make videos for them?" Purple gasped in horror. "Exactly," said Red. "If that happens we might even get," Red looked around and dropped his voice to a whisper as if saying it would make it happen, "Deserters."

Purple gasped, "But Red, what Irken would want to leave the Armada, or us?"

"None now," Red said. "But if a very popular Irken were to do it, wouldn't the smallers follow? They flock to trends and new fads. What if your favorite donut Irken suddenly went over to the Resisty? You can't say you wouldn't be tempted."

"Red, don't say that," Purple frowned thinking about it was just horrible. "What are we going to do then?"

"We're going to find this Zil first and then we're going to make her be the posterboy—er—postergirl for Irken conquest. The new Skoodge we made after the conquering of planet Blorch hasn't done much for the cause. He was tall, but this Zil is much taller and she is entertaining too. Imagine how much the crowds would go crazy for us if we brought her onto the stage and she praised us and showed how awesome we are to the Resisty," Red said a little excited himself. He wouldn't admit it to his co-leader but he really wanted to see this Zil in person too. The video had been more entertaining than any puppet show the other Invaders had put on.

"But how do we find her?" Purple said easily agreeing because he sort of wanted to meet the tall creature too. "And what do we do then? We know she's not an Irken Invader."

"No, but the smallers will probably be fine with it if she looks like she did in the video, we'll just say that she likes to be in her disguise so the enemy doesn't get to see her real face too often or something like that. And you recognized where she was right?" Red asked.

Purple looked at his co-leader and nodded, "Earth."

"Yeah, the planet Zim's on," Red said and perked up as a thought occurred to him. "Maybe he's dead and this Zil killed him and then used his base to make that video."

Scowling, Purple rolled his eyes. "If only we were that lucky. We would have received an alert from his PAK if he died. We blocked his messages but that would have reached us," Purple's scowl deepened. "With our luck this Zil has teamed up with Zim, how else would a native know about being an Invader? Can you imagine what would happen if Zim came back with her? We would all die!"

Red shuddered. "He can't leave Earth. I'm surprised he hasn't blown it and himself up by now."

"He's too incompetent to do anything like that," Purple said. "Oh!" Purple said an idea coming to him. "What if we brand him a traitor? After all he must have messed up if a human was able to dress like an Invader. We can say he let a native have our technology and then there is no way any Irken would tolerate him on their ship."

"But the native is this Zil, won't other Irkens be fine with that?" Red asked.

"Yeah, but only we know that. We can send a retrieval team to go get this Zil and just explain that Zim is a traitor and to shoot him on sight. If they can kill him, great! But if not, all they have to do is get this Zil and get back to us as quick as they can," Purple said.

"What should we do if this Zil doesn't cooperate?" Red asked. "She might fight back against coming."

"Hmmm, we could threaten her," Purple suggested.

"Yeah, we can do that once she's here. We can make her obey us, but what about getting her here? The other Irkens might get suspicious if this great Invader doesn't want to come back to the Massive," Red said.

"Oh! Oh," Purple said as another great idea came to him. "She'll look just like a human, right? Like she's in disguise? We can just say that she's super dedicated to her mission and will continue to act like a native even when surrounded by Irkens. We can say that she won't drop her mission until she is told to in person by us."

"Purple, that's genius!" Red said and Purple preened under the praise.

"Yeah, I'm amazing," Purple agreed. "What team should we send?"

"Hm," Red grabbed a reader from the couch and sat down to go over the lists of specialized teams. They couldn't send any Invaders, they might catch on that Zil wasn't a real Irken. The tallers might not obey their orders exactly because, well, they were tall and did things on their own most of the time. They needed a group that was skilled, but would follow their orders exactly without question and wouldn't find it weird that the tall Invader Zil didn't act like an Invader.

He searched though the lists and Purple peered over his shoulder looking with him. "How about that group," Purple said pointing to a group of five Irkens that usually rounded up escaped prisoners and brought them back to the prison planet. They were small, but highly trained soldiers and they wouldn't question it when they were told that Zil might not act like an Invader even when surrounded by Irkens.

"Yeah, that should work," Red said and opened his messages. There was a message marked 'urgent' from the smeetery overseer, but Red swiped it away. There were more important things they had to look into other than a few broken smeetry arms. Irk would be able to fix it on their own. They didn't need to send them a message every time an arm broke or a smeet container malfunctioned. That's what the engineers on Irk were for.

Red sent the message to the retrial group telling them of their new and 'secret' mission. It was Purple's idea to make sure it stayed secret that they were bringing Zil to the Massive. If the Resisty somehow caught wind of them bringing in the human, they might attack the retrieval ship to catch the human for themselves. Almost immediately the retrieval group messaged them back and informed them that they would be able to make it out to Earth in three weeks from their position. Once they had Zil, they would be able to use the new jumping wrap technology to reach the Massive in three days.

"Good," Red said closing the reader. "That gives us some time to prepare. We need to make a special room for her. We can't lock her in prison that would cause too many questions from the other Irkens, but we can't let her have a normal room in the taller section either. We need a room that looks like a taller room, but has extra security and locking mechanisms to ensure she can't escape."

"We can convert the rooms next to our chambers. Originally it was for advisors or something, but what Tallest needs those?" Purple suggested.

Red grinned at him, "Yeah, that will work. Let's send a message to the engineering crew to start construction. It should be ready by the time we get that Zil here."

The following morning Liz woke up with Dib and together they walked down to the Devil's Brew to get Dib's car. It was safer for both of them to be out of the house as a new game had just come out and Gaz pulled an all-nighter playing it...and was still playing it. With no sleep and on hard mode Gaz was even more scary. Since both of them wanted to live to see another day, they left Gaz alone surrounded by pizza and whatever sweets Liz could cook up.

When they arrived the building was packed and the line was out the door. One look through the window and they could see that poor Missy was not just busy but overrun. Liz and Dib looked at each other and nodded.

"Just tell me what to do," Dib said as they skipped the line and walked right into the shop despite the angry grumbles of those waiting.

"Bus the tables and take care of the dishes. Missy had a new dishwasher installed so it should clean them pretty easily. After that jump on the register and start taking orders," Liz said after taking a moment to observe the chaos. She slipped into the back and grabbed two aprons, handing one to Dib to make him look more like staff. She tied a handkerchief around her head to keep her unruly hair in place and stepped up behind Missy who was making coffee and putting together a breakfast sandwich while also boxing up some pastries. It just showed how overworked she was that she didn't notice Liz until she stepped up behind her.

"I'll get the next one," Liz said scaring the old woman.

Missy gasped and turned, almost dropping the box of pastries. "Goodness! Liz, child, what are you doing?"

"Helping," Liz winked. "Dib will take over register once he's done cleaning. "I'll take care of the coffees until then, you worry about the other orders. Once he's here we'll take care of the front and you can slip out back and make more of whatever you're out or low on."

"Dib?" Missy said a bit dazed and stood on tiptoes to peer over the counter at Dib who had a large stack of plates in his hands.

"The cake was delicious," Dib said cheerfully as he went out back.

"W-Wha?" Missy said still so overwhelmed that she couldn't quite process what was going on in her shop.

"If we don't hurry there's going to be a riot," Liz said pointing to the grumbling crowd.

"Oh, yes," Missy said gaining switching back into work mode. She quickly finished the current order and Liz took the role of barista while Missy plated and boxed the food orders. Dib joined them out front and took over the register and boxing pastries while Liz prepared the food and coffee, giving Missy time to start baking again.

Liz and Dib fell into an easy rhythm and the time ticked by as they filled orders, bused tables, and restocked Missy's freshly baked treats into the display case. They just finished up after the lunch rush hour and it was starting to slow down again.

"What can I get for—Zim?" Dib said not realizing that the Irken was in the store until his turn in line. It had thrown Dib off even more because Zim had actually waited in line.

Zim marched over to the display case and began pointing. "This one, this one, that one, and this one," he paused and scrutinized the treats. "And two of these," he said and Dib found himself packing the selected pastries into a box and setting it on the counter before he could stop himself. With gleeful eyes Zim took the box and triumphantly marched over to a table in the back.

"Zim, wait you have to—oh, nevermind," Dib said knowing that it was pointless. Instead he took out his wallet from his back pocket and tallied up Zim's order then paid for it himself.

"Skoodge!" Liz said from behind him, recognizing Zim's voice and turning. "What are you guys doing here?" She said wiping her powdered sugar covered hands on her apron, she'd been putting the finishing touches on some of the pastries Missy had just brought out.

"Why are you now a food service drone?" Skoodge asked stepping out of line, so the human that just walked in could order. Dib took the order while Liz stepped to the side of the display case. "Dib and I just came to pick up his car and get breakfast when we saw how overrun Missy was, so we decided to help," she frowned looking around. "What time is it?"

"It is two thirty-seven," Skoodge informed her.

"It's that late already?" Liz said astounded that time has slipped past her so fast.

"Go, sit," Missy said appearing behind Liz with a tray of freshly baked cookies. "You too," Missy said to Dib as she set the tray down and made shooing motions for him to move. Dib handed the customer his coffee and scooted out of the way as Missy grabbed the spatula and waved it at him in a mock-threatening way. "Out, off with you. Sit, rest, I'll bring something over in a moment."

"I'm going, geeze," Dib said while smiling. He took off his apron and handed it to Liz who placed them on a hook behind the counter. Then they joined the two Irkens in the booth. As they sat Zim wrapped his arms protectively around his box of treats and hissed.

"Chill, Zim," Liz said. "No one is going to take your pastries...well, wait, what do you have in there?" Liz sat up to peer inside the box.

"These are mine!" Zim declared hunched over the box, preventing Liz from seeing inside.

"I paid for them," Dib said sitting down next to Zim and leaned back in the booth, a sudden wave of exhaustion coming over him. "Technically they are mine."

"You gave them to me!" Zim protested, not noticing that Dib had no interest in the treats.

"No fighting now," Missy said as she approached their table with a tray of coffee and a plate of freshly baked cookies. "I can't thank you two enough for your help. You saved me. I really need to hire some more help, but..." she trailed off and didn't have to say why she didn't. Liz doubted there were any good workers left.

Dib immediately grabbed the coffee and put in his cream and sugar before taking a large thankful gulp. It burned his mouth a bit but he didn't care. Liz took her black coffee and cookie, "No need to thank us, we wanted to help," she said and took a bite. "And—ohmigod, this is amazing."

Intrigued by her reaction, Skoodge also took a cookie and nibbled on it, his eyes widened behind the contacts and he nodded. Dib eyed the cookies, but he wasn't in a sweet mood. "Do you have any of that spicy turkey left?" he asked. He'd been serving spicy turkey sandwiches all day and the smell had been driving him mad.

"Of course, dear, I'll grab one for you," Missy said then popped back behind the counter.

"Dib-mate," Zim said politely as his eyes were glued to the plate of cookies. He had crumbs on his face from eating his cookie already, "Since you are forfeiting your ration, Zim may have it yes?"

"Don't you have enough sweets?" Dib asked.

Zim looked at him like he was insane.

Dib briefly met eyes with Liz and he leaned over the table to take a sip of his coffee. "I was actually thinking of giving it to Liz."

Zim gasped like a wife who had just found out her husband had been cheating on her, his hand even flew to his mouth in shock.

Liz shorted, choking on her laughter. Skoodge looked between the two humans and saw the grin Dib hid behind the coffee mug. "Ah!" he said in understanding. "This is more teasing. Mated humans do this as a means of affection towards their partners. Or towards their family units or friends," Skoodge said and turned to Liz to make sure he had it right.

"Look at you," Liz said brightly. "Mr. Social Nuances. Have you been studying up or something? You're catching on to a lot more."

"Yes," Skoodge said proudly.

Zim narrowed his eyes at Dib, not liking that he was being teased. "Oh! You filthy—wait, so I can have the cookie?" he asked his mood shifting completely.

Dib laughed softly. "Yes, Zim, you can have the cookie." Zim snatched up the cookie and quickly devoured it. He had finished half his treats in the time it took Missy to grab a sandwich for Dib and bring it back to their table. She saw Zim eagerly snarfing down her pastries and laughed.

"It is good to see someone enjoying them so wholeheartedly," Missy said then looked at both Irkens in turn. "These two are good ones," she said patting Liz and Dib on the shoulder. "Don't you let them go. You'd be a fool to let them slip through your fingers."

"The Dib has always been slippery," Zim commented as he debated over which snack to consume next. Zim glanced up at Dib and a huge grin split his face, "When mating even more so."

"Zim!" Dib turned all kinds of red colors Zim laughed triumphantly at his revenge for the previous teasing. Horrified with embarrassment Dib grew flustered not sure how to explain to Missy.

"Ah, youth," Missy said wistfully. "You young things move fast don't you?" she said with a wink to Dib, who was starting to look more like a tomato.

"Missy, did you add something to these cookies?" Liz asked feeling merciful and quickly changing the topics. "There's this amazing flavor to them I just can't place."

"Yes, there are some extract recipes that have been passed down in my family for generations," Missy said.

"You make your own extracts?" Liz said amazed. "How? Do you mind showing me sometime?"

Missy studied Liz a moment before speaking. "Child, what are your future aspirations?"

Liz sighed, her excitement deflated like a balloon. "I don't know," she said picking up her coffee and staring into the mug. "Now that things have settled down, I'm not sure what to do. You want to go into the paranormal field, right Dib?" Liz asked.

"Yeah, after I graduate I can take a full-time position in the Swollen Eyeballs and also start doing a bit of freelance. There are a few colleges that have enough science classes to satisfy my dad and also offer paranormal studies. My top choice is outside the city so I won't have to commute far," Dib said. Not mentioning that he was thinking of going there only because it was the closest college to here, and thus Zim. When he was making his decisions earlier it had been when they were still enemies, so he wanted to be close to stop Zim if necessary, he still wanted to do that but he also didn't want to move away for other obvious reasons now.

"You know, Liz, you are already a member yourself. With your knowledge you could easily get a job in the field too," Dib offered.

"Ugh," Liz grimaced. "Thanks but no, I have no interest in interacting with that kind of stuff more than I have to, and no offense to you Dib, but they aren't people I would want to spend time with."

"Have you thought about going into the culinary arts?" Missy asked.

Liz blinked at Missy in surprise. "I...well, no actually. Baking has always just been a hobby of mine. But I suppose..." Liz trailed off as she grew thoughtful.

"Would you like to give it a go?" Missy asked and at Liz's blank stare she laughed. "I need an extra pair of hands, and you need a chance to explore your options. I wouldn't mind having a young mind to train and my recipes aren't going to be passed on to my children, they don't have any talent in the kitchen. I might as well share my techniques with someone who will appreciative them and maybe even improve them," she said winking at Liz.

"Missy, I," Liz said touched by the offer. "Of course, I would love to, when can I start learning all your secrets?" Liz grinned playfully.

"Secrets?" Zim pipped up having mostly ignored the conversation as he licked the wrappers clean of any sugary residue.

"Cooking secrets, not take over the world secrets," Dib clarified knowing exactly what Zim was thinking.

Zim scowled back at Dib. "I will be the judge of that. Tell Zim these secrets," he demanded turning to Missy.

"How about this," Liz said stepping in. "The three of you can be my test subjects for my new skills."

"Zim will not be captured!" he said jumping up in his seat. "You betraying human worm baby! Nothing can capture the almighty Zim!" he said and began laughing manically.

"Stupid!" Dib chided turning bright red from Zim's embarrassing display. He knocked the back of Zim's knees causing the invader to stumble. Using the momentum Dib pulled Zim back into his seat. "She means she'll let us try out her new snacks."

"Well, why didn't she say that then?" Zim asked still upset but not nearly as much after the promise of future treats.

"You will give them snacks too?" Skoodge asked a jealous edge to his voice.

"Don't worry," Liz said patting his cheek. "I'll make you special ones, and anytime you want something let me know and I'll make it for you."

Zim made an indignant sound. "Why does Skoodge get all the snacks?" Zim said glaring at his fellow Irken.

"Because," Liz said sweetly. "We're mates. If you wanted someone to bake for you all the time you should have picked a mate that could do that. Though I can probably teach Dib how to make cookies if that will satisfy you."

Zim's eyes widened and he turned to Dib. "Zim demands that you learn how to be a snack-making drone, Zim's personal snacking drone!"

"I am not going to be your cooking slave," Dib said stubbornly knowing that was exactly what Zim was thinking.

"Dib," Liz said patiently. "It would be beneficial to you to do this."

"How?" Dib asked grumpy as Zim vigorously nodded his head.

Liz grinned at him and leaning her elbows on the table she rested her chin on her laced fingers. "Leverage."

Dib still wasn't getting it.

Missy chuckled, having been a witness to all their drama. "My mother always told me a way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

"His heart and other organs," Liz added pointedly.

When Dib got it his face flushed causing both women to laugh.

"How are cookies going to help with mating?" Skoodge asked. "It is unnecessary to entice Zim to mate with cookies, they have already mated."

"I'll show you some other time," Liz said with a sly grin and Skoodge's antennae twitched under his wig as the subtle scent wafting from his mate. "When can I start?" Liz asked turning back to Missy.

"How about Monday, after skool?" Missy said. "I won't keep you late so you have time to do your homework and I'll give you dinner here."

"Sounds good," Liz said brightly and looking forward to the future.

"I will also accompany you," Skoodge said.

"Protective one isn't he?" Missy mused winking at Skoodge.

Liz laughed dryly and looked down at the monitoring bracelet. "You have no idea. As long as you stay out of the way," Liz said to Skoodge who nodded.

"I will assure your timely arrival from skool and your safe return home," Skoodge said.

"I wouldn't get that lost," Liz said a bit defensive.

"You get lost coming here?" Dib asked.

"Some of us aren't equipped with internal directional equipment," Liz said tartly and taking a sip of her coffee.

Dib frowned, "But it only takes, like, two turns to get here from the skool. How can you get lost?"

"We all have different talents, Dib."

Dib stared at her. Slowly a grin crept onto his face. "You have no sense of direction."

"I do too!" Liz protested, then added more softly. "It just happens to be different from most other directions. And what are you so happy about?"

"It's just nice to know that you suck at something," Dib said happily, thinking about how he could use this to his advantage next time Liz saw fit to make fun of him.

"Gee, thanks, Dib," Liz rolled her eyes.

Missy chuckled and patted Skoodge on the shoulder before walking back to the counter, "I'll reserve a table for you in the back," she told him.

Liz made a humph sound and decided to focus on her coffee. She didn't stay mad though, and soon enough began chatting excitedly about the different sweets she wanted to learn how to make. Since the conversation was about snacks Zim made a point to declare which snacks he found superior and which ones Liz should make and let him eat. Not to be outdone, Skoodge let his preferences be known and when Liz agreed to make more of the ones Skoodge wanted, said Irken shot Zim smug looks.

Before things became worse, Dib jumped in and changed the subject. It didn't work the way Dib wanted and Zim began arguing with him about whatever inane thing Dib said. Not able to let things go, Dib began arguing back. Half way though the argument Dib still had no idea why he was so adamantly defending the intelligence of squirrels to the invader, but as the part-time defender of Earth who else would stick up for the weird rodents?

Their argument was getting heated and Zim suddenly declared he would destroy all the squirrels on Earth and ran out of the shop. Dib chased after him and they fought and chased each other throughout the city. Bruised and bleeding from some minor wounds Dib leaned against a wall in the ally to catch his breath. He caught himself grinning as he heard Zim give his location away via his laughter.

Everything was perfect in this moment; Earth was slowly improving, he had a family member that actually cared about him, however annoying at times, and the alien he spent his entire childhood fighting was both his arch enemy and his mate. Dib grinned at the sky and let the warm sun heat his face. For once in his life, he felt truly happy.

One more chapter to go! I want (and I'm sure you do as well) a little more of Zim and Dib's relationship and how their added intimacy impacts them ;)