AN: Hiro Mashima owns Fairy Tail!

Here's my Bixanna one-shot, and no, it's not an AU! I'm going to introduce you to my headcanon! XD Yes, I have one for Bixanna, and I hope you all agree with me! XD Ok, so here's this weeks' one-shot – hope you enjoy it! XD

God damn that girl. She'd gotten him again. Every time she was in town, she'd have him wrapped around her little finger. His friends considered him to be a player, but he was the one who was being played. He didn't like being played. He rolled over, not wanting to look at the empty half of the bed any longer. The bed felt cold – she'd clearly been gone for a while, probably leaving on the first train out of town.

It was the same every damn time. She'd dance around him for a week, pretending to be completely innocent, completely oblivious of her suggestions. Every time he figured it was just because her older siblings were there, allowing himself to be drawn in by the damn minx. By the end of the week he'd be ready to bang his head against a wall in frustration, but that would be when she'd strike.

Every weekend that she was home would be the same.

They'd all go out drinking together, a large group of them. By that point Bixslow was always ready to just grab the first woman he found, driven mad all week by the tempting girl that had been flaunting herself all week, apparently without her knowledge. He'd be sitting at the bar, chatting up some random woman when she'd approach him, supposedly now fully aware of her own perfectly formed body. She was such a sweet, innocent-seeming girl, and a friend to everyone, but not to him. To Bixslow she was a constant tease.

She knew what she was doing.

"Hey Lis, need something?" Here they go, another typical weekend with Lisanna home.

"Bixslow-Baby, who's this?" Lisanna asked, a slightly disappointed look on her face as she failed to meet his eyes.

"Oh, this is, em...?" He started, cursing Lisanna – the woman wouldn't have known he'd already forgotten her name if she hadn't asked.

One of these times he'd remember – this wasn't that time.

"Jessica." The busty blonde answered, "Who's this? Your baby sister!?"

Bixslow watched as yet another woman walked away from him. Oh, yes, Lisanna Strauss had it all figured out. Bixslow glared at her through his visor, wondering why she insisted on playing with him. There were plenty of other guys here, and plenty of them were younger than him. Why had she fixated on him? He was yet to find out. She smiled sweetly at him before taking the seat next to him, recently vacated by 'Jessica'. He ordered her a Sapphire Sin and handed the money over, wishing he hadn't lost the bet almost three months ago. Every weekend Lisanna was home, he'd have to buy her the next drink on the list of 'Girly Drinks' his friends had come up with on the spot at their games night...he was sure that she'd been in on it, but here they were. Maybe she liked his company when she was drunk?

If she was ever really drunk.

This was weekend number five, and the fifth woman to walk away from him in that time. There had been Chloe, Emily, Megan and Charlotte before her, and yes, after Lisanna interrupted, he never had problems remembering their names. The memory of them would haunt him the next day. He never had any problems trying to get a woman into his bed when Lisanna wasn't there. He knew now that when he heard that she was coming home for a whole week that he'd spend another Saturday night without sex with some random stranger. He had no problems cursing her – she was the bane of his sex life.

"Why do you insist on calling me 'Bixslow-Baby' when we're out? You don't do it any other time or to anyone else," he grumbled, watching her casually sip on her drink.

"Because you don't." She smiled at him, the blue straw not leaving her mouth.

"Because I don't what?" He groaned. He hoped this wasn't going to end in another sex-less night where he woke up alone – he just had to keep her happy and hope she left him in peace.

"Because you don't call me 'Lisanna-Baby', or have some sort or weird nickname for me, you know how you call Lucy 'Cosplay Girl'?" She looked at him, her blue eyes seemingly getting bigger – she needed to slow down with that drink.

"That's it? You keep getting between me and whoever I'm trying to get into my bed because I don't add 'Baby' onto your name?! And of course I don't call you something like 'Cosplay Girl' – your sister would kill me!" He complained, his head hitting off the bar as he let it drop, "and what's wrong with 'Lis', I always call you that!?"

"You don't give me a 'Baby' because you're scared of Mira-nee?" She asked, a comical expression across her face.

"Lis! Would you keep your voice down?! Your brother is only over there!" He exclaimed, waving his hand in the direction of Elfman and Evergreen arguing at a table only a few meters from them.

"Why? What did I say?" She asked, completely innocently – this was worse than normal, he was sure. Why did he have to ask?

"You make it sound like I refused to get you pregnant because I'm scared of your sister!" He exclaimed, still wondering if it had been on purpose.

"Oh, sorry! I meant at the end of my name, sorry!" She said loud enough that if Elfman and Mira were listening in they'd definitely hear her clearly, getting Bixslow out of trouble.

"Would you slow down on that drink? I know it's only 1.8 units, but you usually ask for another five before I have to carry you home, four hours before everyone else! I'd just like a normal night, please?" He quietly begged as she finished her drink and ordered another.

"Sure," she smiled up at him, the next straw between her lips already.

Sunday morning, the morning when he had to calm an irate Mirajane as she accused him of drugging her sister and doing things to her. The demon always noticed him carrying Lisanna home, but she never stopped him. Every Sunday when Lisanna had been home for the week, Bixslow would wake up in a now familiar bed in an increasingly familiar room...and Mira apparently hated it, him waking up on her little sister's bed. Not like he had much of a choice without hurting her. Somewhere along the line, she'd decided that he'd make a great teddy bear...which is where the damn bet had come from. It had been a game of Truth or Dare three months ago, and Lisanna had asked for a 'Truth'...

"Hey, Lis, your turn!" Laxus smirked, looking over at the youngest of the party, "Truth or Dare?"

"Truth." She replied, not brave enough to take one of Laxus' dares – they'd already landed Elfman and Evergreen in a compromising position.

"Fine," he grumbled, clearly he'd had some sort of plan, "ok...is it true that you secretly think Bixslow is a nice guy?"

Bixslow laughed heartily at his best friend's question and couldn't wait to hear the answer. There was no way she'd deny it – she was too intent on never offending anyone, she was everyone's friend. He wanted to see her reaction – he knew it should be a good one. He watched as her cheeks flushed as she fumbled around with the bottom of her t-shirt, searching for the right words. Bixslow laughed even harder as he felt his usual surge of pride at how many of the girls he knew who thought he was a complete pervert. He had brilliant friends, always ready to boost his ego. He grinned at Laxus, his tongue lolling outside his mouth.

"Em...well...he is...and...and he kinda looks..." everyone stared at her, even Bixslow as he paused in his laughter to hear what she was going to add, "...looks like...I like the colour of his hair!" She finally blurted out, causing Bixslow to double over in hysterics – he hadn't been expecting that one!

"Thanks, Lis! I know not to dye it now!" He joked through his laughter, causing Laxus to laugh loudly over the top of him.

"Ever, your turn to ask!" Laxus choked out through his laughter, wiping his eyes as Evergreen leant forward to spin the bottle on the table, more than likely praying that it would land on Laxus this time, wanting to finally get her revenge from the last round.

It stopped on Lisanna – it just wasn't her night – causing Laxus and Bixslow to start laughing again.

"Lisanna, Truth or Dare?" Evergreen asked, trying to hide her disappointment.

"...D...Dare?" Truth hadn't exactly gone well for her.

Everyone could see the cogs turning in her head as she thought carefully about her reply. Everyone knew if she did anything too bad that Elfman would be upset with her, but it was Evergreen – when did she ever go easy on someone?! Her face lit up in an evil smirk, a growl of 'Ever' escaping from Elfman sitting next to her as she locked her eyes on his little sister. The eye-lock was never good.

"Lisanna, my dear little Lisanna, I have an adorable little dare for you, but you'll need to get passed Mira to carry it out – it requires you sitting on Bixslow's knee," Bixslow guffawed loudly, his head going back with the force of his laughter, Laxus joining him in laughing, while Mira glared at Ever with all her might, Elfman just sitting completely horrified between Evergreen and Lisanna, "don't worry Mira – it's not anything to worry about! He won't do anything, will you, Bixslow?"

"Of course not, Ever-Baby!" He laughed, and only faltered slightly as Lisanna abruptly stood up, her eyes fixed on the floor.

"So, Lisanna, if you wouldn't mind sitting on Bixslow's knee – you might want to hold on, I can't imagine him being very stable when he's crouched like that," she smirked, Bixslow starting to laugh again as Lisanna walked straight passed her sister and dropped down onto his knee, "now to the dare! Lisanna, I dare you to look Bixslow in the eyes as you tell him exactly what you think of him!"

"But...but he'd have to take his visor off?! Bixslow?" She looked up at him, not even sure if he'd agree to that.

"I'm not worried if you're not," he grinned back at her, his hand moving up to his visor to lift it, "you're a Take-Over mage, right? You have to have a strong soul, or you'd end up losing to every animal that came along!"

"Ok..." she gulped, looking into his eyes as they slowly appeared from under his rising visor, surprised at his willingness – it wasn't often he took it off, "Bixslow...I...I think you're...a very...interesting man. You're very funny, and you're a pretty great friend to have when you're on the right side...you're also a very handsome man, even with the tattoo on your face..." she blushed, how long could she keep this up? Everyone, including Bixslow, was completely silent as she sat on his knee, her arms around his neck as she stared into his eyes as he grinned down at her, his tongue outside his mouth as always, "and you...you have an impressively long tongue...and...and..." she wasn't going to be capable of it all, she couldn't take it much longer.

"And? There's more?!" Elfman gasped, completely stunned.

"Lisanna?" Mira's concerned voice reached her, she shook her head before refocusing on Bixslow's eyes.

"'Exactly' does imply 'everything', Lisanna – you better not be hiding something!" Evergreen chimed, getting the desired blush from the girl.

"And he makes me think of a giant teddy bear!" She rushed out, her hands coming to her mouth as she couldn't believe what she'd just said.

She heard Bixslow's hysteric laughter as she felt herself start to tip backwards, only now remembering why she'd had her arms around his neck. She felt a brief moment of panic before two arms caught her, catching her by surprise. Bixslow pulled her back onto his knee and ruffled her hair, still laughing with his arms now loosely around her waist. She was completely mortified. What was everyone thinking?! She'd just said he reminded her of a big teddy bear! She could hear Bixslow's and Laxus' laughter filling the room, she wanted to hide – so she did...and regretted it. She turned her face into the first dark place she found, belatedly realising she'd just buried her face into Bixslow's chest in her embarrassment.

"I-I-I...I'm so sorry!" She blurted out, as the level of laughter reached even higher than it had at the action itself.

"It's ok, Lis – I like you too!" He laughed, grinning wildly at her, his raised visor long forgotten.

He now regretted saying that. He'd meant it as he found her to be pretty fun too, not a 'I want you to torment me every time you come home from a mission so we can get drunk and sleep in your bed'. Had he been drunk, he might have tried something, but he never got a chance. Every time she was home, she'd drink too fast and he'd carry her home with only two drinks in him, deciding to take responsibility for her for some unknown reason.

Of course, every time they'd get to her front door, she'd be asleep in his arms and he'd have to find her key...which meant searching her pockets – sometimes the key would be in the 'breast pocket' of her t-shirt, other times it would be in the back pocket of her shorts. Either way, if one of her sibling caught him, he'd be in an unfortunate situation. This time it was in her shorts' pocket – which meant awkwardly groping her ass until he found the pocket with the key, which of course he couldn't see, her ass being under her.

He found the key and unlocked the door, opening it carefully so he didn't wake her. It was a quick march up to her room, him now knowing which one it was. Then there came the usual problem – the problem where even if he woke her, she wouldn't let go. He was a giant teddy bear as far as she was concerned, and the way she acted around the women he flirted with, she didn't want to lose her teddy bear. Couldn't she just find someone her own age? It had been Natsu that she liked – was she over him? Did she even like Bixslow in that way, or was she just determined to be a thorn in his side? He leant back against the door to shut it and walked over to the bed, carefully lifting the covers to lay her down, only to find her firmly attached to his neck as always.

He sighed and tried to wake her, knowing full well it was hopeless. He hadn't managed to get her off of him the last four times either. He lay down on the bed, letting her curl up around him in her half asleep drunken state. Another uncomfortably frustrating night wrapped in Lisanna's arms and legs as she used him as her 'giant teddy bear'. One of these days he was going to kill the others for this. Hell, he'd even kill Freed just for not stopping that damn game of Truth or Dare. It had already gotten pretty bad, but Laxus had called him a spoilsport the previous time and he'd decided to keep quiet that time. Bixslow had enjoyed the game at the time, but now he just wished it hadn't happened. Especially the damn bet he'd taken after it!

Elfman had bet him, and probably at Evergreen's suggestion too, that he couldn't keep a straight face while Mira constantly changed her face for five minutes. He'd lost, badly. Less than a minute in, Mira changed her face to Laxus' with Lisanna's eyes staring out of it and it had just been too much – Laxus just shouldn't have Mira's body and Lisanna's huge, innocent, bright blue eyes! That was why he now had to buy Lisanna a drink every time they all went out. He wanted to murder the lot of them. Bixslow groaned as Lisanna changed her position, lightly grinding against him in the process. If he was lucky, maybe she'd still be there when he woke up – it wouldn't surprise him if constantly waking up in his arms every Sunday morning after a night out was giving her the wrong idea.

He sat up, wishing she'd been there. He didn't know how much longer he could take this. Next time would have to be different. He needed to persuade her to find someone else to use as a 'giant teddy bear' – he was a grown man, not her toy. She was a girl, a cute one at that, she should have a boy, not him, to wake up to. It was weird, and not the mention just plain frustrating. She kept coming onto him, forcing him to take her home and then making him sleep in her bed as she accidentally grinded against him in her sleep as she moved around, but yet nothing happened.

They hadn't done any of the things everyone accused him of doing to her, hell they hadn't even kissed! He still couldn't believe what her siblings thought she was willing to do with him! He couldn't get her to do more than tease him, not that he wanted her to – he loved the fact every girl he knew considered him as a pervert, but that didn't mean he wanted to have sex with all of them! Lisanna was adorable and innocent, not the corrupted type of women he usually went for.

He laughed out loud at the irony of thinking she was 'innocent' – there was no way she didn't know what she was doing to him. He didn't know what she was looking for, but he seriously doubted he was the one for her. He wasn't even sure why he bothered taking care of her when she was drunk, never mind being sure of what she was thinking. She was a girl and he was a man, a perverted man, but that didn't mean he didn't have rights. He had the right to live his life without her constant teasing, he knew that much.

If he was lucky she'd be away on another long mission, and he didn't even care who it was with. The last one had been Elfman, and the one before it Juvia. Why did he even remember? He didn't even care what the answer was, he just needed to get out of her bedroom before Mira caught him alone and awake. He was pretty sure that she checked on them while they were asleep, but he figured she just didn't want to wake her little sister up when they clearly weren't doing anything. Oh the irony.

"Bixslow?"

He turned to look in the direction of the white painted wooden door, his uncovered eyes being met with bright blue ones. Lisanna was standing in the doorway, wrapped in towels, a tray of food in her hands. He rubbed his eyes, unsure if he was dreaming. It couldn't be anything else. Lisanna was never there when he woke up, and she certainly wouldn't be dressed in towels if she was, never mind bringing him breakfast. He blinked heavily a few times, trying to wake himself up. He continued to stare at her, his jaw slowly falling as he started to realise the image in front of him had to be real...and then he realised he wasn't looking through slits. He suddenly looked away from her, frantically searching the bed for his visor, deciding it had to have fallen off in his sleep.

A giggle met his ears.

"I took off your visor when I woke up – it's on my dressing table," she laughed, lighting up her whole face as he looked back at her, "you looked uncomfortable when I woke up so I took your visor and shirt off...I started to take your waist guard and trousers off too, but I, em, found out something about you."

Bixslow could only laugh as he realised what she meant and looked down at himself, realising she had in fact removed his shirt and waist guard. He grinned at her lightly flushed cheeks and patted the bed beside him, letting her know it was ok to sit down, rather than just stand in the doorway. It was her room and he wasn't going to make her stay in the doorway, especially when she'd made such an effort to make him comfortable in her bed. He pulled the towel off the top of her head and ruffled her hair as she sat down, earning a quiet squeak from her.

"So, what's all this about?" He asked, his tongue lolling again as he gestured to her towels and tray performance, "not trying to seduce me now you've looked, are you?!"

"Bixslow! You know I didn't mean to! How was I supposed to know you don't wear underwear?!" She exclaimed, pushing him.

"Well neither are you!" He laughed as her face flushed a brilliant crimson.

"I hadn't realised you'd wake up so early! I'd gone for a shower and heard you laugh, so I grabbed the tray I'd set up before my shower and took your breakfast out of the oven...I hadn't planned to walk in like this...I panicked..." she quietly trailed off.

"Aww, Lis – you shouldn't have!" He teased, waggling his tongue at her.

"I didn't want you to think I'd just left...I'm sorry...I didn't think you minded until last night...but you seemed really upset with me...so...so I asked Elfman if we could wait until tomorrow before we leave...because I needed to talk to you...sorry...I didn't mean to be such a nuisance!" She cried out, shoving the tray onto his lap and turning away from him, not sure of where she could go – they were already in her room.

"Lis...? Are you ok?" He asked, leaning closer to her, leaning on one hand, his other making its way to her shoulder.

"Why were you being so nice to me when I was just an inconvenience to you?" She sniffed, not looking round at him.

"Lis, I told you back then, didn't I? I told you when you decided to bury your face into my chest that I liked you too, remember?!" He teasingly whispered into her ear, earning an elbow to the chest from Lisanna, causing both of them to laugh.

Bixslow pulled her up against him, both still laughing as she cuddled into him. He picked up a piece of bacon from his plate and placed it in her mouth, causing her to blush again. He grinned back at her and kissed the top of her head, her short white hair already starting to dry. He lifted another piece of bacon and placed it in his own mouth, leaving half of it hanging out as if it was his tongue, causing Lisanna to laugh, only to find that free half of bacon in her mouth, their lips impossibly close.

She stopped laughing as she stared into his eyes. She felt a light tug on the bacon before his lips met hers. She bit through the bacon and pulled back, a pink tinge to her cheeks as she looked back at him, his eyes locked on hers. She swallowed the bacon and leant forward just as Bixslow swallowed his half, his tongue falling out his mouth as he grinned, watching her slowly inching closer to him, a strange glint in her eyes. She was up to something. He noticed her hands rising too late as they tugged on the bright blue hair on the sides of his head, her antics making him laugh heartily, his tongue lolling wildly outside his mouth as his head flew back.

He felt her lips close around his tongue and stopped laughing, bringing his head back down so that he could look her in the eyes. He felt her tongue circle around his. He twitched the end of his with his perfect control, making her grin. Bixslow closed his mouth and slid his tongue further into her mouth, their lips quickly meeting in a long awaited passionate kiss.

She was finally his.

Hope you enjoyed it! XD

My headcanon, if you didn't realise, is that Bixslow doesn't have to worry about losing control of his magic and accidentally possessing a Take-Over Mage! XD They'd have to have very strong souls to be able to take control of the soul of a demon/beast/animal without losing their own soul! Elfman lost control at one point and hurt Lisanna, but he clearly has a strong soul considering he can now use that takeover, as well as Lizardman and Leopardman! XD And have you seen the demon souls Mira can use?! I'd imagine animals would have strong souls too! On Tenrou, Bixslow points out that Elfman is "willing", and therefore even the fact that he did once take control of Elfman, it doesn't mean that he could if Elfman hadn't wanted him too! XD

So, what do you think?! ^_^

Next Thursday is the first chapter of 'Christmas at the Dreyar's', the sequel to 'Redeeming Lucy'! ^_^ While next Sunday is a Zorobin one-shot ^_^ Next Sunday will be the last one-shot before Christmas, sorry! Exams are starting and I'm sure many of you are in the same position – good luck if you are! ^_^ I'll be posting more one-shots in the new year, starting with a GaLe! ^_^ It'll be posted on either Sunday the 4th or Monday the 5th!

Here's a decision for you! I'll try to set up a poll! Would you rather a brand new one-shot...OR would you like Ch2 (Gajeel's point of view) of 'My Unison Raid'?! You can decide! XD