In Memory of You

Man and Wife

That I have loved only you, surrendered my whole self

Reckless to you and nobody else.

That I want you to love me back and show it to me.

-Jazz/Toni Morrison-

Once the bell has rung for the last class of the school year, Chiwaii had set out to prepare his journey to the past. The first thing he had done was to inform his employers that he would not be working this summer because of family affairs. It somehow pained him that he could not earn money and that he was instead traipsing in the past with a grumpy hanyou.

Truthfully, if Chiwaii were not as kind as his father taught him to be, he would not even bother with this crusade to save his mother. She was already dead and it was by fate that she died. When he was young and a little immature perhaps he would wonder what would it be like if she was still alive. But with otousan, who had loved him unconditionally, there was no need for her.

"And did you also bring the mosquito repellant? You'll never know what sickness those mosquitoes from the Warring States might bring."

"I was about to put it inside my bag." Chiwaii muttered. Really, it was like his father to worry for mosquito bites when his demonic blood prevented him from acquiring illness. In all his life, Chiwaii had never been sick but nevertheless he managed to cram the repellant inside his backpack. He then put the clothes that he would have to wear for tomorrow on the small table.

Everything was ready for his long journey to the past.

Hojo sat on the grilled flooring of their balcony. Immersed in his own thoughts, he stared vacuously at the city lights, shuddering as the wind touched his skin.

It was a cold night. But that never hindered his neighbors. They were at it with their usual chattering and banging racket. In this place nobody except the oblivious, the stoned and dead tired could sleep peacefully.

The homes were so clustered that people could not help but get to know each other. As for Hojo, they referred to him as the 'salaryman' because he was the only one among them who worked in the office. It was a sight to see every morning, as he in his worn and somber corporate suit would walk briskly alongside the hawkers, garbage collectors, the pimps and some vagrants as they set out to do their business. He looked spiffy in his attire. Yet almost all of his neighbors, including his once longtime mugger, attest that Hojo was just as broke as they are.

For nights like these, Hojo did not mind the noise.

Chiwaii was leaving him to set out on a quest to save his mother.

The reason behind his son's decision somehow confused him. Did he look so lonely to Chiwaii that his son decided for himself that he might have missed Kagome?

God knows how much he had loved his wife that even now he would still long for her presence. Yet he didn't want to gamble with fate with his son at stake. Chiwaii was the only family he had left and without him, all the years of sacrifice would be meaningless.

Hojo laughed mirthlessly. Remembering what it was back then.

It was the hubris of youth to think that Chiwaii could achieve all if he only tried hard enough. He knew about it, after all he used to think that he could save Kagome from her plight and live as one family with her unborn child. Even before as a young boy, he sought for her attention, constantly rapping the door to her heart. When she got pregnant with another man, he stood by her side when people---their friends, acquaintances and even strangers would cast disdainful glances and utter remarks about her character.

She would sadly call him a fool and he would only smile and say nothing. He could not tell her what he felt. He was never good with words anyway.

Hojo was quite naïve at that time to realize how much he had lost when they had married. Even if his parents disowned him to his utter heartbreak and disbelief, he had always thought that once he had saved enough money through work, he could continue his education and become a doctor like what his parents wanted him to be and perhaps they would welcome him along with his family.

But things didn't go as he would have wanted it to be. Gradually, reality set in as Hojo found himself shaking and close to tears as he stared at the cramped lodgings that was to be their new home. It was then Kagome who held his hand to keep him from breaking. With her strength as his support, he took two or more jobs just so they could eat a decent meal. He also had to make sure that he had enough money for hospitalization of the soon to be born child. Though, Kagome's family had been more than supportive to offer financial help, his shame could only let him accept that much.

Of course, he knew that Kagome did not love him as much as he had loved her. That there was a place in her heart that he could not gain no matter how hard he tried. It was torture to think whenever she would put her arms around him as they lay. Was she merely patronizing him or did she really mean to hold him? He hated to think that she merely loved him as a form of gratitude. Perhaps he was able to live with that before but with too much bear, he knew that he would not last any longer.

When their son was born, she named him Chiwaii for some inexplicable reason.

He said that it didn't go well with their last name but he didn't argue with it further.

There was something about Chiwaii that would sometimes surprise and concern him. He was very obedient and too perceptive that Hojo would suspect that his son has an old soul. Perhaps it was because of his 'affliction', Hojo assumed. Even before his wife died, Chiwaii made himself convenient. He never cried during late nights, he took all the food that was given to him and he had this certain look, until now Hojo surmised, of a silent desperation to be loved. This was perhaps the reason why Chiwaii struggled to be agreeable at all times.

Maybe it was true that infants could feel emotions even inside their mother's womb.

So Hojo cared for Chiwaii and loved him like his own flesh and blood. He worked harder to provide for his new family and soon forgot the invisible wall between him and Kagome. He rose up early in the morning and would arrive home so exhausted that he would just to fall down on the bed in his office attire .In the morning, he would be wearing his sleeping clothes and a new suit had been laid out for him to use. Those small gestures of concern meant so much to Hojo. Yet he was afraid to expect anything more from her.

' Chiwaii, you don't have to bear it all. You'll only end up hurting yourself.'

His musings were interrupted when Chiwaii sat by his side.

"Let's go inside. You've been outside for too long. You might catch a cold." Hojo suppressed a smile. His son was starting to sound like him.

"I'll go in for just a short while. You go ahead and sleep. You have a big day ahead of you tomorrow."

Chiwaii frowned in mild disapproval. Nevertheless, he went inside the house.

Admittedly, Hojo was afraid of tomorrow and the days without his son. He then sighed, feeling a bit ashamed for a grown man like him to ruminate on sentimental things.

He was surprised when a warm blanket was draped on his shoulders.

"Take care of yourself while I'm gone, 'tousan." Chiwaii said before he went inside to finally sleep.

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Morning came and Inuyasha's voice rang loud and clear, startling the whole neighborhood with the sight of a red clad and white haired boy perching carelessly on the balcony rail.

"Be quiet already!" Chiwaii hissed as he came out, still dressed on his pajamas. " And come down, it's five in the morning and you're attracting attention as it is."

"Keh"

" Good morning, Inuyasha." Hojo greeted the hanyou. " Did you have breakfast? We're cooking pan---"

" Hey Akai-san!" A voice hollered below, " is this freak bothering you?"

The three of them looked down to see Hojo's concerned neighbors gather under them.

"Who the fuck are you calling 'freak'?" Inuyasha screamed. He immediately dodged a kick from Chiwaii but he wasn't as lucky when a stray frying pan from an irate neighbor hit his head.

"Shut the hell up!" a young lady appeared from one of the building's window. " Akai-san, please return my frying pan later, ok?"

Not losing his polite nature despite the ruckus around him, Hojo promised to return the frying pan and reassured the neighbors that everything was fine.

After the whole mess, Inuyasha grudgingly complied at Hojo's request to join them for breakfast.

Soon it was time to go.

"Look after him, Inuyasha." Hojo addressed the hanyou casually of his concern while he fixed the remnants of breakfast. Chiwaii was in another room, dressing up and preparing for his journey.

"I will." The hanyou spoke solemnly, " and I'm gonna bring back Kagome to you. You'll see… it will be fine in the end."

One happy family.

'How about you?' The question loomed heavily in silence.

"Hey brat! Move your ass …we haven't got all day! " Inuyasha bellowed impatiently.

"Quit your yappin', I'm almost through."

Chiwaii came out wearing a traditional blue hakama, white pants and geta for his footgear with a familiar yellow backpack slung on his shoulders.

"What ! You're expecting me to go to the past with my uniform?" Chiwaii muttered.

Hojo gave his son a quick tight hug. "Come back safe."

' I lost my chance a long time ago.' Inuyasha realized, averting his gaze from the tender display of affection between father and son.

"I'm ready to go, Inuyasha."

"Keh!" the hanyou snorted," 'about time."

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"No! We are not jumping over the roof!" Chiwaii exclaimed in protest as Inuyasha dragged the boy near the edge of the building.

"We're going to the shrine the fastest way possible." The hanyou pushed Chiwaii, obviously irritated with the boy's uptight and unadventerous demeanor. " And I'm sure as hell am not gonna carry you over my back."

" Oh, please, we're going to walk and take a bus on the way to the shrine like decent people."

"Decent people…" Inuyasha snorted in contempt. For crying out loud, they're on top of a building, clad in traditional outfits and this prissy boy had the audacity to assume that they were 'decent people.'

"Look, when we get to Sengoku Jidai, we can jump over rooftops, swing on tree branches and be as barbaric as you want to be, but…" Chiwaii lifted his finger in emphasis, " …here for thirty minutes tops, we're going to conform to modern etiquette."

"Fine." And with that Inuyasha pushed the boy hard enough to bring him over the edge.

"FUUUUUCKKKK!"

The hanyou smiled smugly as Chiwaii's voice echoed loud enough for everyone within a mile radius to hear.

" Decent people…Keh!" Inuyasha followed suit and jumped over the edge.

As he reached the ground, Inuyasha expertly landed on his feet. Turning around, he saw Chiwaii leaning against the wall with a shocked look on his face. The boy was still panting heavily.

"F-for your information, " Chiwaii managed to speak between gasps, " we're freaking demon dogs and not cats!"

Inuyasha couldn't seem to wipe the smirk off his face." But wasn't that fun? You've gotta live life to the fullest, brat."

The boy trembled as he steadily rose on his feet." We're not even there yet and already you're trying to kill me."

However, Inuyasha merely gazed at the road and pointed at the incoming large vehicle. "That's a bus, right?"

"Yeah, that would be our ride -----" The sudden screech of tires caused Chiwaii to look up. Using the Tetsusaiga, Inuyasha positioned the giant sword in front of the bus, causing its immediate stop.

The mechanical door then slid open. "We haven't got all day." Inuyasha reminded the boy as he stepped inside the bus.

Sighing in exasperation, Chiwaii had no choice but to comply.

The trip was uneventfully surreal for both of them. Chiwaii paid for the fare as Inuyasha looked for a vacant seat. Despite curious stares from other passengers, Chiwaii and Inuyasha sat patiently and behaved in their best manner throughout the ride.

As the bus door slid open, they stepped out and walked a few blocks before they arrived in front of the shrine.

"Are you gonna see them?" The hanyou referred to Souta and Mrs. Higurashi.

"I don't think so," They were approaching the shack that housed the well," It's not like I won't come back soon."

When they reached the well, Chiwaii was the first to one to jump inside the deep cavern, followed by Inuyasha.

A/N: Finally, it's about time Chiwaii crossed the well. For the following chapters, expect a new plot twist. The concern here is not Kikyou's deal but something else…I won't spoil the surprise.

I desperately need a BETA-READER, someone who could correct my mistakes in grammar etc…Any volunteers?