I sat down to write a holiday chapter of Far From Home and wrote this instead. Once again, I can never just leave what I intended as a one-shot alone.

Thank you for the overwhelming response to the first part of this story! I'm not sure how I feel about part 2, but I hope you like it.

There's a letter on the desktop that I dug out of a drawer

The last truce we ever came to from our adolescent war

And I start to feel the fever from the warm air through the screen

You come regular like seasons shadowing my dreams

Indigo Girls

Pt.3

Gail's world is on fire, spinning and twisting, filling her head with everything she has been trying to ignore, for years really. Right now, she has a white-knuckle grip on the cool stone counter top of the island in her kitchen in a vein attempt to regain some kind of equilibrium. It steadies her as she tries to take deep calming breaths. She is still reeling from running into Holly at the Penny last night after all this time, and now she feels like she's going to explode. It's funny how time changes everything, and nothing at all, at the same time.

Sophie called from her visit to Traci's this morning. Holly is coming to dinner. Gail's beautiful, smart, wonderful, maddening daughter invited her. Sophie is clearly smitten with her forensics idol, and has been a whirlwind of fan-girl excitement, and questions, ever since last night, and now she has invited Holly to dinner. And, of course, the now famous Dr. Stewart has agreed to grace them with her presence. Tonight. How the fuck did she let this happen? The irony of the situation is not lost on Gail. Not one bit.

Gail looks at the time, it's only one thirty in the afternoon, T minus four and counting, plenty of time to put the finishing touches on the flourless chocolate cake she made last night, time enough to get Sophie's favorite spinach lasagna in the oven, and the white wine chilling in the fridge. She can do this. She takes a deep breath and pushes herself fully to her feet. Thank goodness Traci and Leo got Sophie to go to the movies with them, she's not sure her nerves could handle any more questions right now. In the meanwhile she will make the lasagna's spinach and mushroom filling, and assemble it with the gorgonzola alfredo sauce she made earlier. She knows it's wrong, but keeping busy is the only thing stopping her from curling up in bed in the fetal position right now. What is wrong with her?

T minus two and counting, Traci and the kids will be home by five thirty, and Holly should be here by six. The kitchen is spotless, diner is in the oven, there is nothing left to do but take a shower, and put herself together. Gail climbs the stairs as the memories she has successfully kept at bay all of these years come flooding back to haunt her. Holly, leaning over a sorted skeleton in the morgue; Holly, teasing Gail about being so impatient about getting the results from a DNA test; Holly, picking her up at the hospital on the day she burned her wrist, and treating her like she was something precious and important; Holly naked in bed; Holly lying flush against her skin after making love all day on the night before Holly left for the States; and Holly forcing Gail look her in the eye as she told Gail she would always love her before she walked away that last time.

Entering the bathroom, Gail turns on the shower to let it warm up and leans heavily on the sink in front of her letting her head hang between her arms. And then it comes unbidden from the depths of the black, and once bottomless pit of all of her insecurities. The memory of Holly standing at the bar at the Black Penny the night before Christmas one year and three months after she had moved to San Francisco, nine years ago next week. Before the job offer from CISI to do something important, something she loves, before Sophie became her daughter, before Nick had recovered from getting shot, before Chris had finally become clean, before she and Steve decided they needed to repair their relationship and their lives by seeking professional help, it had been possibly the worst year of Gail's life. Beginning with Holly's move, she thought she had lost everything she cared about. She desperately needed a change, needed someone who would always love her. All she had wanted to do when she saw Holly standing at the bar with Traci was to swallow what was left of her pride and run back into her arms! She was ready, even if it meant she had to beg Holly to take her back. She would go to San Francisco, if Holly still wanted her. And then it happened, she overhearing Holly tell Traci about the offer of a permanent position and sizable promotion to spearhead the leading mobile forensics team in the world, in recognition of all of her excellent work there. She was practically glowing with excitement as she spoke! Gail felt her chest overflow with love and pride for this amazing woman. She was just about to announce her presence by buying them a congratulatory round when she heard Traci mention her name. And then Gail saw it, the look of disappointment and disapproval that crossed Holly's face, or felt it more accurately, like a physical, crushing blow.

She knew she was a mess. She had been caught up in the massive departmental corruption investigation and scandal, forced to testify against her family. She knew she was, and had always been a bitter disappointment and a disgrace to her mother in one way or another for most of her life, and while her father's love had always tempered his displeasure about her shortcomings, the undercurrent of dissatisfaction was always present and this was her final traitorous failure. Steve's anger had been the hardest to face, even though he had been forced into a similar position. In a last ditch effort to regain any amount of self-respect and control over her life, she had finally turned in her badge, resigning her position on the force. Soon after, she had lost all hope of adopting Sophie to a racially diverse, married, heterosexual couple with two other kids, and a large home overlooking the lake. She had long ago stopped seeking anyone else's approval, but to have Holly judge her made her blood run cold. So instead of surprising Holly by joining them, she had slammed back her shot, and fled clutching at the bleeding pieces of her shattered heart, hoping that nobody had noticed her.

Fuck!

The doorbell rings just as she is stripping off her ratty, ancient, pale blue hoodie and tattered jeans.

"What the…" She grumbles, turning off the shower and getting redressed.

The doorbell rings again.

"Jesus Christ! I'm coming!" She calls out on her way down the stairs, "Just wait a frickin' minute, this isn't a…"

The words dying on her lips as she opens the door. The woman on her doorstep takes her breath away. Shifting her weight from one foot to another, and fidgeting with her glasses, Holly spins around to face her as the door opens.

"Gail. Hey." She breathes out as she stuffs her hands into the pockets of the oversized cardigan she is wearing underneath an open blue down parka.

"Hey." Gail cautiously replies, "What are you doing here?"

"I was in the neighborhood, and I saw your door, and your lights were on, and… and… um… I would say that the courier was sick, but…" Holly stumbles nervously over the words pouring out of her, gesturing wildly with her hands that have somehow freed themselves of her sweater.

Gail wants to guard her tender heart, to not be drawn back into Holly's gravity. She tries to play it cool, but she can't seem to help the way her heart skips, or the full body rush she is experiencing, or the grin, or the joy she feels bubbling up in her chest at this ridiculous, awkward, beautiful woman floundering on her doorstep.

"I take it you want to come in and talk." She says, grabbing Holly by both of her elbows and giving her a gentle tug over the threshold. The sudden movement causes Holly to stumble slightly, lurching her literally into Gail's arms to keep from falling.

Pt.4

She hadn't meant to do it. Not any of it. Not at all. But seeing Gail so close last night, actually touching her, holding her if even for just one moment opened a door Holly couldn't seem to close. She knew that it was stupid, unscientific, impulsive, but she couldn't seem to stop herself. Gail Peck felt like home.

An endless amount of teasing had already begun yesterday when her sister discovered she had made a date with Traci at the Penny to meet Gail's daughter that night. Holly had tried to brush it off as taking a professional interest in a young woman who was important to Traci, and wanted to join her field of expertise. But her sister wasn't fooled.

"Oh my God Holly! Just stop stalking her and talk with her already!" Laurel commented, with a superior smirk, when Holly told her where she were going last night, "What is this, Junior High School?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not stalking Gail! I'm meeting her daughter Sophie, Traci's niece, to talk about her first year of pre-med at McGill!" Holly tried to sound indignant, even though she knew Laurel was right.

"Then why do you know exactly who and what I'm talking about when I haven't even mentioned her name?" Laurel continued, raising one pointed eyebrow.

She was busted!

"Oh look! You're blushing! That's so cute!" Laurel laughed right in her face as the room suddenly became unbearably hot.

"I am not!" Holly sulked.

Later that night she was hoping her sister would be asleep when she got home, but no such luck. Laurel fixed her with a knowing stare when she "had that look in her eye" as she came in the door.

"You saw her, didn't you."

Holly shrugged, adjusting her glasses, smiling dreamily, not wanting to tell her sister she had actually hugged Gail this time.

"Seriously Holly, when are you going to stop pining away, and either ask Gail for another chance, or get over her? It's only been ten years of this stupidity!" Laurel continued.

"I'm not pining away! And I have had other relationships, Ms. Smartypants!" Holly protested weakly.

"Whatever you say Holly. Then why do you always find an excuse to ditch perfectly nice women after no more than six months together? And why is it, on any given day, I could ask you what Gail has been up to, and you would know, and be able to give me a detailed answer?" Laurel needled her with a wry expression.

Holly sighed and declined to answer, concluding that it was probably best to say nothing in response. Her sister had, of course, been right. She always, annoyingly, was.

Gail still smelled the same, like sandalwood, and baking cookies, and coffee. It was intoxicating! Holly had almost forgotten, until last night. And now it's all she could think about. It had driven her into the car with a weak excuse about checking out the new facilities at the morgue, only to find herself here, at Gail's door. Like a woman possessed, climbing the front stairs, ringing the bell, feeling foolish, hoping no one is home, and praying that Gail is here all at once, Holly feels so out of control. When the door opens, the sight of Gail wearing her old blue hoodie, the one she left at Gail's place a decade ago makes Holly's heart skip a beat. It makes her ramble, and stutter, and stumble. As Gail catches her reflexively to stop her from completely falling, she can feel Gail's arms tighten around her waist, pulling her closer than necessary. She can feel Gail's heart beating right through her sweater. Looking up into those clear blue eyes, Holly knew she was a goner. She hadn't meant to do it, but Gail's lips are like a magnet, drawing her in.

The kiss is hungry, starving really, as she buries her hands in Gail's hair and her tongue in Gail's mouth. She hears the front door slam behind them, as Gail moans and sighs into her. Her knees begin to buckle at the sound. And just like that, Gail's body is slamming her up against the nearest wall. She came here to talk, to try to catch Gail alone, to see if they could find a way to start over, or at least be friends, and yet somehow, they ended up like this. Maybe this is how they are meant to communicate, she thinks fleetingly, like a lightning strike in a forest, burning off the old to allow for new growth. It takes her back to interrogation rooms, and bathtubs, and her old office at the morgue, not that she's complaining. Not when every cell in her body is on fire and rejoicing in the same way she is sure a wilting plant reacts to water. She can feel herself breaking, years of regret, and disappointment, and holding herself back, come crashing down at their feet, and pouring out from beneath her closed eyelids as Gail's fingers slide inside her sweater and her coat, pushing them to the floor with a soft thud, without breaking the kiss. Salty, bittersweet tears flow onto Holly's mouth changing the taste of Gail's tongue from want to need, as she realizes with a gasp that Gail is weeping too. Cool, soft hands slide up her back, under her shirt, pulling her closer still, leaving a trail of fire on her skin. They are melting together, gasping, and shaking and clutching desperately at each other. Smoldering brown eyes open to lock with the blue grey storm that pierces her very soul. In this moment there is only them, there is only this.

"Oh my God… MOTHER!" The anguished cry rings out behind them, as the front door slams open breaking the spell.

Gail's lips are ripped from hers and a cold breeze from the open door hits her like a slap where Gail's body has just been. Holly lurches to her feet, awkwardly attempting to straighten her blouse, and put herself back together as she watches the scene before her unfold.

Sophie standing wide eyed, mouth agape with shock in the doorway of Gail's home, looking in horror from her to Gail and back before pushing roughly past them and running up the stairs, giving Holly a disdainful look as she goes.

"Sophie?" Gail calls softly to her daughter.

A bedroom door slams upstairs.

"Gail…" Traci begins, standing breathlessly on the doorstep, also looking from Gail to Holly and back, but with big motherly eyes this time.

"Don't." Gail warns her away with a vague wave of her hand.

The bedroom door slams again and Sophie descends scowling murderously at them all.

"Sophie! Where are you going young lady?" Gail commands, hands on her hips.

"What do you care?" Sophie shoots back, grabbing a very confused Leo by the arm. "Out! With people who I'm not interrupting! Come on Leo!"

Leo gives them all an apologetic half shrug and smile as he allows Sophie to drag him to her car.

"Sophie Katrina Peck! You get your ass back in this house right this second!" Gail storms after her, only to be stopped by Traci's hand on her arm.

"Let her go." Traci says quietly.

"Fuck!" Gail's whole body deflates as she watches Sophie and Leo speed away in Sophie's Honda Civic. She digs the heels of her hands into her eyes as she sits abruptly on the stairs,

"She'll be alright. At least Leo is with her." Traci says quietly.

"Maybe I should go." Holly says softly, getting her feet beneath her, feeling like her chest has been stomped on by an elephant.

"Don't you dare!" Gail's hand shoots out to grab her wrist hard, and then turning to glare at Traci, "What are you guys doing home so early? I thought your movie ended at five."

"We went to The Human Genome Project at the Museum of Science instead." Traci says with a shrug.

"Oh." Gail says looking sadly up at her.

"She heard that Holly had a part in putting it together and wanted to impress her by having seen it." Traci replies

"Great." Holly sighs, "And now she hates me."

"No, but I do think she has a school girl crush on you, and walking in on you making out with her Mom may have burst her bubble." Traci says with a smirk.

"Oh. That." Holly shakes her head with a sad smile

"She does know about your past with Holly, right Gail?" Traci says as gently as she can.

"Nope." Gail hangs her head and won't look at either one of them.

"O – Kay…" Traci sighs

Gail continues, " It… ah… never came up..? I mean it's not like I've really dated anyone since I've had her."

"No one?" Holly asks quietly.

"Nope." Gail says, turning to face her, "She lost everything when her mom died, and I wasn't going to bring someone else into our lives, just to have them leave and break her heart."

"Oh." Holly says sadly, feeling the impact of Gail's words like a punch to her solar plexus.

"I'm sorry." Gail says, seeing the pain register on her face, "I didn't say that to hurt you, Holly."

"That's ok. I might kind of deserve it if you did." Holly replies, deflated, unable to meet Gail's eyes.

Traci clears her throat, "As much as I hate to break this up, I'm going to go home and wait to hear from Leo there. You two have a lot to talk about. And remember Gail, everyone deserves the chance to be happy, even you."

"Thanks Traci." Gail gets up to give her an unexpected hug, "I'll call you when Sophie comes home."

"You're a good mother Gail." Traci says as they part. "You know that, right? And I'll see you later Holly!" She turns to go with a smile.

Gail is still pacing, and Holly can tell that her mind is running about a million miles an hour like a hamster wheel going nowhere. It's the sheer helplessness she feels that keeps her glued to the couch in silence, watching Gail pace instead of getting up and reaching for her. Helplessness and guilt. Why did she think she and Gail ever stood a chance? She isn't sure why she's still here, but Gail insisted that she stay.

It's nearly seven o'clock when the front door finally opens and Sophie comes storming in.

"What is she still doing here?" She demands in an icy tone, glaring at Holly.

"Sophie, " Gail turns to face her daughter. Her tone is hard, but her eyes hold a softness Holly has rarely seen before, "She's here because you invited her to dinner, and because she is my friend."

"A friend. So that's what you call it." Sophie scoffs.

"That's right." Gail counters. "Or at least I hope we are."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Sophie glares at her.

Gail sighs and sags a little, "It's complicated, Kitten. When I got you Holly had just moved to San Francisco, and you needed someone who would always be there, and I knew I couldn't divide myself between the two of you if I was going to be able to be the parent you needed."

The air has grown thick and hot making it hard for Holly to breathe around the growing lump in her throat and the pressure behind her eyes.

"But you're right Sophie, Holly and I were never just friends." She concludes, moving over to stand by Holly sitting on the couch.

"Is that why you never dated anyone?" Sophie asks, crossing her arms.

"In part." Gail reaches out to squeeze Holly's shoulder. "And in part because I wanted to give you the most stable environment I could growing up."

"Oh." Sophie says, chewing on her lower lip, like Gail does some times.

"While I'm sorry you got upset by walking in on something you weren't supposed to see, I'm not sorry that Holly is here." Gail squeezes Holly's shoulder again, and smiles at her for the first time.

"Ok…" Sophie says cautiously.

"I know we all have so much to talk about, but right now I'm starving! So go get ready for dinner young lady!" Gail says finally.

"Yes Mom." Sophie turns and goes almost meekly up stairs.

As she leaves Holly gets up as well, the emotional rollercoaster of the day leaving her drained and exhausted.

"Maybe I should go…" She begins softly, looking into Gail's clear blue eyes.

Gail reaches for her then, kissing her tenderly with soft lips as she cradles Holly's head in her hands, "Stay." She whispers into her lips.

This is the one word Gail never said to her before, the one word that could have changed the course of their lives so long ago. Knowing with all her heart that there is no other choice, she can only nod and kiss Gail back, powerless to do anything else, come what may.