The Hard Way

It was a peaceful night. Steve was curled up around Peggy and Peggy was snoring daintily into his arm. It was nice, and calm, and all the things that Steve hadn't had in a very long time.

And then the alarm went off.

It was blaring shrilly throughout the apartment and tore Steve from his comfortable rest. He was out of bed and on his feet within seconds, slipping into his uniform and hopping to get his boots on as fast as possible. Peggy was leaning up on her elbows, eyes groggy and annoyed because the alarm continued to wail.

"There better be a very good reason why there's an alarm going off at four in the morning," Peggy threatened, glaring blearily at Steve through her exhaustion. Two years away from the battlefield had left her grumpy and sleepy when an alarm sounded, instead of on her feet and ready to fight. And she was absolutely okay with that. She deemed that she deserved it by now.

"That's the call to assemble. Don't worry," he told her, leaning down to press a kiss to her cheek. "We'll be back before you know it. Try to get some more sleep." Peggy didn't look happy about it, but she nodded and fell back against her pillows, tugging the blanket up over her head. Steve smirked and left her to it, moving out to the hallway as he fastened his gloves on.

Bucky was standing there, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably, eyes wild and body tense. "What the hell is going on, Steve? Are we under attack or something?"

Steve looked up, worry seeping into his features as he took in Bucky's condition. He was shocked at the dark circles beneath his friend's eyes and how pale his skin was in the pre-dawn light. Bucky didn't look healthy at all, but Steve didn't have the time to talk to him about it.

"No, there's an attack somewhere though. We have to go and see what's going on. Don't worry about it, we'll probably be back by lunch. Try to get some more sleep, pal." He clapped Bucky on the shoulder and left the apartment without another word.

Bucky stood alone in the dark living room, staring after Steve with a stabbing pain in his chest. Time was, Steve Rogers never went off to a fight without Bucky Barnes nipping at his heels. He supposed the man had other, newer friends to watch his back now, though. Friends who weren't obviously falling apart at the seams, like him.

He collapsed on the couch, shivering in a pair of grey sweatpants and a thin t-shirt before he tugged the afghan from the back of the couch and curled up beneath it. After what felt like just a few minutes of blankly staring at the wall and feeling sorry for himself, Bucky heard Peggy moving around in the room down the hall. He couldn't really gather the energy to feel much of anything, much less embarrassed to be seen in a heap of misery on the couch, so he just stayed curled up and waited for her to walk through the door.

When she appeared from the bedroom dressed and clean and ready for the day, Bucky looked down at himself and felt like a bum compared to her. She saw the lump of him on the sofa and went straight towards him, plopping down on the available seat.

"I'm glad you're here, Sargent. As much as I love Howard and Steve, they can be a bit overwhelming on one's own." She grinned at him, and Bucky felt his lips raising up in a smile despite himself.

"Yeah, I guess I'm glad I'm here too. Better than having to go through the shit show the Soldier's had to, right?" And God, wasn't that the truth. Just the thought of ending up like the Soldier scared the crap out of him.

Peggy looped an arm through Bucky's and leaned her head against his shoulder, sighing softly. "What do you suppose all that ruckus was about this morning, then?"

Bucky started to shrug, but was interrupted by the voice in the ceiling. "Sorry to interject, but I have an update on the Avengers' situation. The team was originally called in to assist local authorities in apprehending Dr. von Doom. While they were finishing there, Hydra attacked a weapons manufacturing plant in Queens. Simultaneously, a group of AIM scientists detonated a bomb that decimated a city block none too far from here. The team is handling all of the attacks sufficiently, but ask that none of you leave the Tower today, as it seems disproportionately dangerous outside."

"Wow. Gotcha, not leaving today." Bucky saluted the ceiling and then went back to curling into Peggy's warm body beside him. He was still reveling in the fact that there was a real, honest to God artificial intelligence in charge of the building. The future, man.

The elevator dinged then, but the door remained closed. Bucky stared at it in confusion until Jarvis spoke through the speakers. "Ms. Romanoff asked the Soldier to keep you both company while the team is away. Is it alright if I let him in?"

"Of course! Open the door, please." Peggy stood and made her way to the elevator doors to greet the Winter Soldier. Bucky stood as well, feeling less welcoming of their guest than Peggy, apparently. He would have really rather not have had to face what became of him ever again.

The doors swished open and the Soldier stood there, face blank but looking about a million times healthier than he had the night before. He gave Peggy and Barnes an appraising look before taking a step further into the apartment.

"Wait, they left you behind?" Barnes asked, so shocked that it just slipped out. He hadn't meant to actually speak to the man.

The Soldier's eyes zeroed in on him, piercing him with an empty, dead eyed stare. After a good amount of time beneath that terrifying glare, the Soldier nodded and rolled his eyes, stalking into the apartment and plopping down on the sofa where they had been just a moment before.

"I was deemed too unpredictable. And Rogers doesn't want me in the field until someone can look me over." His face morphed into a long-suffering, unhappy scowl. "Not that I wasn't in top fighting condition yesterday or anything. Not like I wasn't fighting Nazi scumbags for most of the day."

Barnes deeply regretted saying anything now. Thankfully, Peggy noticed his reluctance for conversation and took over instead. "Would you like some breakfast? I was just thinking of making something for the Sargent and I."

The Soldier gave her a long, dispassionate look before rolling his shoulders in the most awkward shrug Barnes had ever seen. "As long as mine's liquid."

They both must have had some strange looks on their faces, because the Soldier smirked back at them, looking almost amused. "Freezer burn's hell on the digestive system. Plus, I don't think I've actually had any solid food in about fifty years."

Barnes had absolutely no idea what the hell that meant, and really never wanted to know. It sounded horrible, what had happened. The same thought was not going through Peggy's mind it seemed, because she gave the Soldier a sad, understanding look before nodding and heading back into the kitchen.

Which inevitably left Barnes and the Soldier alone, awkwardly staring across the room at each other. Their eyes locked and Barnes felt like a rabbit caught in the gaze of a wolf. Finally, the Soldier sighed and rolled his eyes once more, patting the seat next to him.

"I will not bite. Sit." His words were stilted and uncomfortable with the tiniest hint of a thick Russian accent, but that actually had a calming effect on Barnes. If the Soldier was uncomfortable too, at least Barnes wasn't the only one.

Peggy was banging around loudly in the kitchen and Barnes decided that he might as well take the Soldier up on his offer. He shuffled across the living room and sat on the other end of the sofa. The Soldier watched his stiff movements with obvious amusement, his face blank but his eyes dancing with glee.

As the minutes ticked by, the silence stretched on and the Soldier's face turned more and more serious. Just as he was about to speak, Peggy wandered back in, two plates and a large glass balanced in her arms.

She dropped one of the plates into Barnes' waiting hands and the glass into the Soldier's before plopping herself down between them with her own plate. They ate in relative silence, the only sounds the slurping from the Soldier's straw and forks scratching against plates from Peggy and Barnes.

When they were finished, the room fell into complete silence. She glanced between Barnes and the Soldier and gave them both a long-suffering glance before standing and taking the dishes back with her. "For God's sake, men. Hash it out. This ridiculous silence is insufferable."

Barnes stared at the Soldier with wide, frightened eyes until the Soldier met his gaze, blank and calm like ice. "We should talk," the Soldier admitted, turning in his seat so he could lean back into the sofa while also meeting Barnes' eyes. Barnes just remained where he was, stiff and unhappy. He didn't want to talk to the Soldier; he wanted Peggy to scold him and Steve to joke with him and maybe Howard to come and drink with him for a while.

"You are shattering," the Soldier stated. Didn't ask, didn't wonder, but stated like a fact. Like he could see inside of Barnes' head and knew exactly what was going on there. The Soldier saw him stiffen, and his voice softened into nearly a whisper. "You do not want the others to know, but if you do not tell someone, you will not like the consequences."

"And what does that mean?" Barnes hissed, wanting to lash out at someone, anyone. Where did the Soldier get off on telling him what he had to do? "You going to tell on me yourself? Oh, I'm so scared," he mocked, shaking in faux-fear.

The Soldier seemed to ignore his juvenile attempts at instigation and pushed on instead. "You will not like what happens if you don't talk to someone, because I never got to talk to someone about it, and this is what I became. I assure you, you don't want it to get that far."

It felt like a bucket of icy water had just been dumped over his head and Barnes stared at the Soldier with badly disguised horror. That had been the exact same thing he had been agonizing over earlier. If he didn't talk about the cracks in his mind, he would turn into the Soldier? The thought alone sent chills rolling down his spine.

The Soldier's face softened when he saw the effect of his words to his younger self. Never let it be said that the Soldier felt no empathy. He was a teacher and protector at heart, it was just hard for him to show it sometimes. He reached out with his flesh hand and clasped Barnes on the shoulder, his thumb rubbing back and forth for a few moments before he squeezed and left his hand resting there. It was a solid reminder of the here and now for the frightened young sniper.

"I do not mean to cause you distress. It took me a long time to remember anything other than Hydra and what they made me do, but I do remember a lot more now than I did a few years ago. I remember Steve, and I remember the first time I was taken prisoner during the war. I know what a mess your brain is right now. I regret not telling Steve back then. At least I wouldn't have had to deal with it all alone." He raised an eyebrow at Barnes when it seemed he was going to deny what was going on inside his head, and the younger man visibly deflated, staring down at his hands with a scowl. "Nightmares. Panic attacks. Hallucinations. Seizures. These are all things you are dealing with, and they are all things that will ease if you get the help you need to deal with them."

"I'm no crazy," Barnes mumbled vehemently, fisting the material at his knees in his hands. "I don't know what you're talking about, seeing things or passing out."

The Soldier sighed and let his hand fall from Barnes' shoulder to his hand instead. Barnes stared at their intertwined fingers in shock for a moment before he let out the breath he had been holding and started chuckling. He laughed so long and so hard but the Soldier just sat with him through it, his hand solid and real in Barnes'.

"No. You are not crazy," the Soldier admitted, a bitter yet playful sound to his voice. "If anyone's crazy, it's me. But you are hurt, and you need medical attention for it just as if you had been injured physically. There are people in this time that can help. I want you to at least think about it. It's not as stigmatized now as it was when we were growing up. No one will avoid you on the street because you see a therapist of take pills."

Barnes' breathes were shallow and raspy, but at least he was smiling. "A'right. I'll maybe talk to someone." No he wouldn't, he thought viciously to himself. He could be strong, and he would be strong, for Steve if for no one else. "You happy now? Gonna let me have my hand back?" He waved their joined hands at the Soldier and waited for him to let go. The Soldier gave him a hard, stern look before he nodded and let go, letting Barnes return his hands to the hem of his shirt. God, but it felt like his father was sitting beside him scolding and lecturing him.

Peggy peeked her head back out of the kitchen after a long stretch of silence and smiled when she saw that no one was shouting and/or bleeding out on the floor.

"Wonderful. Did we settle that like adults? Smashing. Well, Howard has just called. He says he's been playing around in the lab and is bored out of his mind without company. Anyone interested in a fieldtrip?"

She didn't even wait for them to answer before she was slipping some shoes on and marching out the door. The Soldier and Barnes traded looks before Barnes dashed off after her, the Soldier a heavy presence at his back as he stomped out behind them.

Howard, it seemed, was not being constantly hounded by people like Peggy and Bucky were. He was left mostly to his own devices, which usually consisted of tinkering away in a corner of Tony's lab, preferably when the man himself wasn't there. Tony Stark really got a stink face on him whenever his eyes landed on the younger version of his father. It was either that or indifference with a side of forced civility, and Howard wasn't sure which stabbed at his heart more.

He must have really screwed that relationship up.

But, then again, he was always screwing up one thing or another. Just ask Jarvis, or Peggy, or even Steve. Tony probably had a lifetime's worth of stories featuring Howard's epic screw ups.

He had been playing with Tony's holograms but that could only keep his interest for so long, and he was getting lonely. Everyone was gone from the tower and the others that had been left behind were holed up in Rogers' apartment having a heart-to-heart. He had Jarvis tell him when their talk was finished before he started sending increasingly annoying messages to Peggy in the hopes of enticing them downstairs to join him. He must have been losing his touch, somewhat, on his ability to be annoying, because it still took them ten minutes to swan through the elevator doors.

With a ping and a swoosh, the doors opened and Peggy slid through, a smug smile on her face. Barnes was looking uncomfortable and his shadow, the Soldier, was looking vaguely pissed off right behind him. It seemed he was just following them around for shits and giggles, then.

"What have you done now, Howard?" Peggy asked, sounding exasperated. Her hands settled on her hips and she stared down at him in his corner of the lab, scrunched up over the things strewn about the table in front of him.

"Why is the first thing you assume when you see me that I did something?" Howard whined, pouting up at Peggy playfully. Barnes rolled his eyes and popped up beside him, poking at the pieces on the table inquisitively.

Howard took a long look between Barnes and the Soldier, comparing and contrasting now that he had the time to spare. They actually looked fairly similar, besides the obvious things like the long hair and the metal arm. They both had that empty look in their eyes and an exhaustion hiding right beneath their skin. Barnes just seemed to be more invested in trying to hide it.

"Because whenever you call me in to see you, something is usually about to start on fire."

Howard shrugged and pointed at one of the little machines in the corner. When the others turned to follow his gaze, the machine lifted its arm and waved up and down at them, chirping excitedly. "Got it covered. His name is Dummy and he apparently loves to use the fire extinguisher. Even if there isn't a fire. At least, that's what Tony said before he left. I still don't think he likes me very much," Howard sighed, fiddling with the tools in front of him.

The Soldier spoke up then, his eyes lit up with something frightening. Howard jumped at how silent he had been. "Well, he doesn't like me much, either. I killed his parents, after all. He's still sore about it."

The room was deadly silent as Howard turned to stare at the Soldier with wide eyes, literally struck speechless for once in his life. Peggy's face was pale and sickly, and Barnes looked like he was about to pass out.

"What did you say?" Barnes asked, his fists clenching as he stepped protectively between Howard and the Soldier. The Soldier didn't look too perturbed by the scrutiny and lazily flopped down on a chair, letting his long legs spread out in front of him as he crossed his arms over his chest. He was the picture of arrogant disinterest.

"I said, that I killed Howard and Maria Stark, and Tony Stark is not happy about it at all. He hates me, as well. I thought we were bonding over being hated here," the Soldier pouted exaggeratedly, looking between them like they were overreacting.

Barnes stomped forward, seeing red until he suddenly wasn't, and he blacked out. He wasn't very proud of himself when he opened his eyes, his vision returning, and found himself standing over the Soldier's sprawled out body, his face bloody and cracked. Barnes' chest was heaving, his knuckles were smarting, and he was having trouble thinking straight.

The Soldier smirked and spit out a mouthful of blood, sitting upright before wiping the majority of the blood from his chin. Barnes must have gotten a lucky shot at his nose or mouth. When he looked over his shoulder, Barnes saw Peggy and Howard huddled in the corner of the lab farthest away from their skirmish. Peggy had a gun leveled in their direction, and where she had gotten it from he had no clue. Good for her, though; always ten steps ahead of the rest of them. Howard's eyes were wide and frightened; Peggy's were steely and bright. Both expressions made Barnes feel very uncomfortable.

"They're not scared of me right now, you know," the Soldier said quietly, that infernal smirk still on his face. He let his shoulders sag and his head bang softly against the floor as he stared up at the ceiling, apparently trying to catch his breath as well. "They're scared of what you just did. Gone away for a bit, did you? That how it started. How I started." The Soldier tilted his head to the side so he could grab Barnes' attention and stared into his eyes. "Don't get too angry, that's when you black out. That's when the beginnings of the Soldier pop out. Like just now," he elaborated, waving his hand to encompass the chaos surrounding them.

"Sargent Barnes, are you alright now?" Peggy called from across the room. Barnes turned and met her gaze, nodding shakily. He turned back to glare down at the Soldier.

"He was our friend," Barnes bit out sadly, fists clenching and unclenching spasmodically at his sides. "Howard was our friend. How could you do that?"

The look on the Soldier's face was chilling. It was cold-blooded and lifeless and empty. "There were no friends to the Winter Soldier. Hydra burned out my memories, seared programming into my brain, and then used trigger words to make me kill people they didn't like. What choice did I have? I had no friends, only my next mission." Something he said must have sounded funny to him, because the Soldier barked out an inhumanly painful laugh before rolling over to sit upright again. "If you want to know what I do to friends, you should ask Captain Rogers when he returns. Ask him just what happened on the Helicarrier in D.C. two years ago. Look at the pictures of his injuries. That's what the Winter Soldier did to friends."

Howard and Peggy were flanking either side of Barnes now, and neither was looking too happy about this sudden turn of events. "If you are so very dangerous, why are the Avengers letting you just walk around unsupervised?" Peggy asked, her voice strong and fearless though her eyes told another story.

"Because the Captain has a soft spot. And I told him that I don't do that stuff anymore. And I don't. There's not many people left who know the trigger words, or have a Chair, or can hope to control me. I'm bargaining on that being enough to keep me in my right mind." He smirked up at Barnes as he stood, all poise and grace and silent threat. "Besides, I'm not the one that started this skirmish." The Soldier turned his hard gaze onto Barnes and whispered in a mixture of Yiddish and Russian, so they would be the only ones to understand, "Do you still believe you aren't crazy, малютка?"

And then it all seemed to click for Barnes. The Soldier's little 'slip' about murdering Howard and his wife hadn't been a dig at Howard, it had been an excuse to make Barnes see how far out of it he was. It was something to force Barnes to see that he did need help.

The Soldier had realized that Barnes had been lying earlier, and had decided to show him first hand exactly what he was capable of now.

Shit.

"You understand now, yes?" the Soldier asked softly, his face transformed from the sneer of moments ago to something light and worried. Did he wonder if he had pushed too hard, gone too far? "I used to be a teacher, a long time ago," he revealed quietly, taking another step closer. "I taught children how to defend themselves and lie and scheme their way through missions. Natalia was one of my students for a time. My handlers took me off of the teaching detail once they realized I was getting too attached to my students. I have always grown too attached to my students. I want to see them succeed." He placed a hand on Barnes' shoulder and was pleasantly surprised when it sagged beneath the weight instead of shrugging him off. "I want to see you succeed. I don't want you to end up like me. Take this opportunity. You won't regret it."

His words were too soft for Peggy or Howard to hear just a few feet away, but Barnes could feel their eyes on them, staring at them in confusion. Barnes glared at the floor. So, the Soldier felt like he was Barnes' mentor? Well, wasn't that some messed up, time travel shit. He was getting advice from his double. The man wasn't even that much older than him, right? Something in his eyes must have broadcast his thoughts, because the Soldier was suddenly right up in his face, intense but sincere.

"I am much older than you, James. I have lived lifetimes. I am old. Nearly a century has passed since I was born, and my life has been filled with bloodshed and pain and learning things the hard way. Your life does not have to be like that. I don't want it to be like that. I'm trying to help, you numbskull."

Barnes shoved his hands in his pockets and carefully shrugged the hand from his shoulder, backing up a few steps so he was closer to Peggy and Howard than the Soldier. "I appreciate it, buddy. Really. But you have got to learn a better way to get your point across." He pointed at Howard, who was still sickly pale and shaking. "You scared the shit out of our friend, because you wanted to prove a point. Did you actually kill him, or was that just something you made up to be dramatic?"

The Soldier glared, and then he stared off into the distance. "December 16, 1991. The Asset was sent to eliminate Howard and Maria Stark. The Asset was to procure the items in the trunk of the car. The Asset struck Howard Stark in the face repeatedly. The Asset choked Maria Stark. The Asset took transportation back to the rendezvous point with the items from the trunk for extraction." His eyes cleared and he stared back at the others with no expression. "Yes, I killed them. No, I didn't make it up."

He stood fully then, and stomped out of the room. The elevator dinged and then he was gone. Barnes sagged with the way the tension seemed to follow the Soldier out of the room. Peggy still had her pistol out, pointed at the ground now, but she was giving him funny looks. Howard still looked like he was going to be ill.

"What was that all about, Sargent Barnes?" Peggy hissed, giving him one last look before holstering her gun. Even though Barnes was watching her, he had no clue where the hell she had stashed it. He rolled his shoulders, trying to relieve some of the pressure, but in reality it only seemed to make his body feel worse.

"Our little talk this morning. Apparently the Soldier didn't believe me when I said I would think about what he told me. Had to make a big production out of slamming it into my head." He crossed his arms over his chest and sighed, rocking back on his heels. "Have I always been that big of a drama queen, or is that something that was acquired through age?"

That got Howard smiling again, even if it was shaky and small. "I think it's a natural born talent, Barnes. God knows I've listened to you go on and on about the travesty that is your life." He was smirking now, and the color was starting to return to his face. Barnes counted it as a win and moved on.

"Steve said they would be back by lunch. Why aren't they back yet?" he wondered out loud. Jarvis seemed to have been listening, and he chipped in with what he knew.

"As I said, Sargent, it seems to be disproportionately dangerous outside today. It looks like every major group has come out to fight with the Avengers. They will most likely be gone all day and into the night."

"Wonderful. Natalia won't be back to talk some sense into the Soldier until later, then." Barnes groaned at himself, but when he turned to look at the others, he noticed Peggy staring at him intently. "What?"

"Maybe you should take what the Soldier said to heart, whatever it was. If he went to such great lengths to get you to understand, it was probably very important." She looked worried then, and reached out to take his hand. "When you started attacking him. I'm sorry, Sargent, but that man was not you. He said something about getting help? I think that was very sound advice."

Barnes stiffened and grumbled to himself, but didn't shake off her hand. "I'm fine. Would everyone stop griping about it? I swear, I'm okay. If I get worse, or something, I'll talk to somebody about it. But for now, I'm alright."

Peggy frowned. "We're not in a war any longer, James. You needn't push on as if nothing is wrong. I saw it a lot, in the men I worked with at the SSR after the war. People came back different. War is not a pretty thing, and many of them didn't handle it very well. If the Soldier knows something that might help…," she trailed off, looking at him uncertainly.

"He doesn't. He just said he doesn't want me to end up like him. He said that there are doctors or something that help, but I don't know." He didn't want to tell her that he couldn't even think about doctors in white lab coats standing over him right now without breaking out into a cold sweat. Or telling a doctor what was wrong with him. That would lead to poking and prodding and questions he didn't have the answers to. No, he could deal with this on his own. He had been doing such a good job of it, too.

"Let's just… go back upstairs. Do something that doesn't require me talking about this shit. Okay?"

Peggy relented after a healthy dose of the Sargent's puppy dog eyes, and Howard was just happy to have some company. He wasn't sure if he would ever be able to look at the Soldier the same way again, but he assumed it would just take time. Besides, the man wasn't going to kill him. Why kill someone twice, after all? That would be just a bit excessive in his books.

They stayed on the common floor until it was dark outside. The Soldier had remained out of sight and so out of mind, while the others had waited for their friend and his team to return.

It was nearing midnight when the first Avenger stumbled through the door. The three left behind had had the foresight to call and order food for the team for when they returned, and it was still hot and fresh. The first person in the room was Hawkeye, limping and covered in dirt but grinning from ear to ear.

"Food, my first love, how I've missed you!" he crooned, hobbling over to the counter where he scooped up a bit of everything before collapsing on one of the barstools.

Natasha came in next, with Sam and Tony at her sides. "You better have saved some of that!" she hissed, slapping the back of Clint's head affectionately before making a plate of her own. Sam slammed past the couch with the others, joining in on ribbing Clint, but Tony stopped beside the couch and looked them all over. He looked worse for wear as well, but at least he seemed calm, if exhausted.

"My day was full of busting bad guys over the head and getting thrown through walls. Please tell me you three had a better day?"

Peggy rolled her hand in a 'so-so' motion, while Howard turned white again and Barnes glared at the wall. Tony's chin jutted forward in thought before he rolled his eyes and turned toward the kitchen. "You know what, forget I asked. Was no one allowed a nice day today?"

Steve was the last one in, as usual, and was headed straight for the three on the sofa. Peggy cut him off, though before he was even ten steps near them. "No. Go get your food and then come see us." She waved her finger dangerously and Steve's eyes widened, nodding quickly before he disappeared around the wall into the kitchen. He appeared a few minutes later with a plate piled high with food and settled down on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

"So, Tony said your day sucked too. What happened?"

"Someone needs to have a fucking talk with the goddamn Soldier," Barnes ground out, sounding frustrated and exhausted and like he just couldn't wait to get someone to bitch the man out. Steve looked a little shocked at Barnes' vehemence, but nodded anyway, even if he was confused. "He scared the shit out of Howard just to prove a point to me. He's a fucking asshole."

Steve didn't look so shocked anymore. "Yeah, he can be a handful. He's still working through a lot of his own stuff. We probably shouldn't have left him alone all day but we didn't really have time for a back-up plan."

Natasha appeared then, as if she had been summoned by the man's name. "What did Yasha do now?"

"We had a discussion this morning, and then when he didn't like my response, he told Howard about how he killed him, to prove to me that I shouldn't end up like him if I can help it!" Barnes was hissing this at them, trying to keep his voice down because he didn't want Tony in there throwing a fit about his parents' murderer hanging around his house.

Natasha's brows were raised, but she didn't look too shocked. "Yeah, he can be an ass sometimes, but he does it because he cares." She levelled a look at Barnes, almost daring him to contradict her, but he remained silent. "I'll talk to him, see if I can get him to ease up next time." And then just like that she was gone.

Barnes sighed, nearly collapsing forward when Steve reached out to wrap an arm around his shoulders. "It's alright, Buck. We'll get everything sorted, you'll see." Barnes just shook his head. Always the optimist, Steve Rogers.

Natasha found the Soldier in the bathtub, fully clothed and sitting in a standing pool of freezing water. She raised an eyebrow at him but didn't begrudge him some self-soothing. She settled herself on the floor beside the tub and pushed a strand of hair behind his ear. He opened his eyes then and stared at her dully.

"Barnes told me what happened today. What were you trying to tell him? Really?"

The Soldier opened his mouth but seemed to struggle to get a single word out. Finally, he croaked out an answer. "He is very stubborn. So very, very stubborn. And a terrible liar. Was I ever that bad at lying?" He let his head thunk back against the rim of the tub and pulled a hand from the water, letting it rest on the edge in easy reach of Natalia. She took the offer and laced their fingers together, sighing contently as she waited for him to continue.

"The boy is in pain. His mind is turning against him. I thought that if I talked to him, he would understand. Instead, he nodded along and told me a lie straight to my face. So, I thought that if I could show him just how much he wasn't in control, he might finally understand. I triggered a blackout, where he became me, in a sense. And we fought. But he still doesn't seem to get it. I just want to help him, but he won't let me. He won't listen!"

Natalia's grip on his fingers tightened before she pulled herself up again, resting on her knees beside the tub so she could peer into the Soldier's face more easily.

"Sometimes," she said, reaching out to cup his cheek in her hand, "we cannot help everyone. Sometimes, they need to realize they need help before it can be offered and accepted." She ran a thumb over his cheek, watching as his eyes fluttered closed, and then she leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. "You always want to help people, Yasha, but maybe you can't help him. Not yet, at least. But you can be there when he needs you."

The Soldier nodded, opening his eyes to stare blankly at the wall before turning to Natalia and smiling, ever so slightly. She always had been a smart one. Smarter than him, even. He leaned forward, listening to the water slosh around him, and pressed a calm, light kiss to her lips. She was right, as always. He could wait. He would wait, and be there to catch the boy when he fell. But until then, he had some catching up to do with his favorite person. It was an even trade-off, he felt, smirking as he bit her lip reverently. She was staring at him intently, giddiness in her eyes, and he knew that even though the day had been terrible, the night would be wonderful.