All mistakes are mine.

Christmas wasn't a huge deal to Darcy, never had been thanks to some fairly awkward growing up memories where she was always the victim and never the aggressor. She didn't have many close friends, at least not close enough that she could trust them with her baggage and she was beyond grateful for that sometimes. It was a relief too because she could just go on vacation on Christmas without worrying about hurting anyone's feelings, granted her vacations merely consisted on going to her cabin and shutting herself in for a week without interruptions or worries but to her that was the height of paradise.

This is why when Jane, her boss and sometimes friend, had asked her to give up her week in paradise for something some so incredible stupid and weird, she had actually taken a sharp breath and gaped at Jane like a fish.

"Look Darcy I'm sorry, I really am but I would really appreciate it if you did this for me." Jane gave her the best puppy dog eyes she could muster, Darcy had no doubt she had learned it from her sons.

"Jane, I'm not exactly sure what you're asking me here." Darcy, gripping her mocha latte tightly, asked.

"I'm asking you to pretend to be my brother-in-law's girlfriend."

Darcy gave her a look before picking up her hand to her ear as if to imitate a phone.

"I'm sorry you must have me confused for a sales representative of girlfriends-r-us, please wait a second while I connect you to the right operator." Darcy cocked her head to the side and hummed a tune.

"Darcy please." Jane gave her an annoyed huff before picking up her simple black coffee to take a sip.

Darcy merely raised her pointer finger as if telling her to wait, Darcy gave the charade of the phone call a couple more seconds before slamming down her hand on the table which nearly cause Jane to spill her drink all over herself.

"You're crazy, you know that? I mean who goes around asking their employees to pretend to be their…who is he again? Oh yeah your brother-in-law's girlfriend." Darcy had never even met Jane's husband though she knew how he looked since he was a famous American football player which Darcy found nothing short of amusing since Thor was Icelandic or something. Thor was a hunk and if his brother had inherited at least of half of Thor's good genes than by God Darcy could only assume he was nothing short of hot.

"Look, let's make a deal. You give me five minutes to explain and if you say no I won't mention again, what do you say?"

"Alright." Darcy picked up her latte and waved it at Jane as a sign for her to start. She saw Jane straightened her back and flip her hair over her shoulders she looked not unlike when she was about to start lecturing people about science.

"I want to make clear that the reason I'm asking you is because I appreciate you and because I consider you a good friend and because, well you took drama in college." Darcy almost made a note of protest since she had taken one year of drama in college and she barely did more than recite some lines on a stage, but Jane held up a hand to stop her.

"Yes I know you're only in there for a year but that's good enough for me, anyway Loki my brother-in-law is kind of... in a fight with his parents and well he's pulling all stops to piss them off. This includes taking a girlfriend they wouldn't approve of." Darcy made a sound of protest because she didn't have the world's most amazing or fascinating job but being Jane's research assistant was good pay and Jane handpicked her to be her assistant from a serious long list of applicants, so although Darcy wasn't a doctor or something she had a decent job and no one could take that away from her.

"Let me finish please. This would be were your acting training would come in." Jane took a deep breath and smiled wide. "I need you to be the most obnoxious, loud mouth, swearing, barely there clothing girlfriend you can be."

Darcy opened her mouth to give an incredulous 'what?' but stopped when she realized she had practically lost her voice, Jane was still giving her that wide, hopeful smile and Darcy cradled her face in her hands.

Darcy unsure what to say once again merely gave Jane a cold stare because it stung a little that she already was two of the things Jane mentioned without having to act.

"If you do it, Loki has promised a big Christmas present for you." Darcy saw the smirk in Jane's face when her cold glare turned to an inquisitive look. "And by big present I mean Loki is going to buy you-"

"A MacBook pro, the latest generation of iPad, iPod and iPhone. I do hope you find that to your satisfaction, Jane as told me how much you love Apple products."

Darcy jumped when she heard the voice behind her and turned around only to find a very well dressed man speaking to her.

She frowned when she realized he wasn't the mini Thor she was expecting and in fact thought Thor and Loki had very different coloring. Though she had to admit to herself, he wasn't any less handsome than Thor, just handsome in a different way.

Loki gave her an award winning smile and Darcy wondered if she could go blind from it.

"It is quite the pleasure to meet you. I have heard great things." He extended his hand for her to shake and Darcy feeling a little rude stood up to shake his hand and realized how tall he was.

He gave her hand a small squeeze and then motioned for her to sit again, Darcy waited while he seated himself to her right with Jane on her left leaving her trapped between the two.

"So what do you say Miss Lewis, want to be my girlfriend for Christmas? I would be forever in your debt." He gave her a warm smile but Darcy noticed the cold twist of it on the edges of his lips, as an expert of going through life faking it she knew how to spot the liars from the crowd with a ten foot pole.

"Darcy really we would very grateful." Darcy took a moment to stare a Jane who by now had the puppy dog look back on her face.

Darcy opened her mouth to ask about that Apple thing again because really who gives up the chance to get a new everything and not have to give anything in return, but the truth was she didn't like to get in the business of parents. The whole thing was still a touchy subject for her and she never got involved with anybody else's parental business, it just wasn't good for her sanity.

"It's in my experience that sometimes talking is good. Especially with someone as important as your parents." Seriousness wasn't her business, she didn't do emotions well. She had her sarcasm and wit and she was good with that, but once in a while even she couldn't help but take life seriously.

She received no other word from either of them but the no was clear in her voice. Having nothing else to say she stood up, gather her things and gave Jane an insincere goodbye before leaving.

She muttered to herself all the way to her car about stupid bosses and about how she better not get fired over this because as much as she loved Jane she would sue her ass. She angrily threw her things on the passenger seat of her car and got scared of out her wits when someone else slammed the door for her.

She opened her mouth to yell at the pompous ass but bit her tongue when Loki raised a finger; it wasn't so much the motion that stopped her but the tensing of his jaw and the incredibly pained look on his face.

Darcy could spot liars and fakers a mile away but that face was anything but fake.

"Listen to me, I do not have time the situation with parents to you because it is long and complicated and very twisted. I love my parents very much but the situation I find myself with them is very fragile and in my family we have our own way of doing things and the hard way is usually it. All I ask is for your help this next couple of days and then I won't ever ask anything else from you." He looked earnest and Darcy silently cursed the gods for being assholes for putting her in this situation.

"This is going to blow up in our faces, I hope you know that." She closed her eyes and laid her head on the roof her car and silently prayed to the gods she had just cursed to help her with Jane's crazy family.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and she opened her eyes to see Loki with a small grateful smile on his face.

"So how is this going to work?"

The first sign of her bad decisions had been painfully obvious when Loki told her they would be driving four hours to his parents' house.

Bright, early Sunday morning saw her sitting on her kitchen nursing a cup of dark, strong coffee waiting for Loki to pick her up.

She had been thankful he had at least given her a day to get everything in order, buying presents had been tricky but she had finally settled on some genetic, impersonal things for his family. Her clothes had been a whole other matter, Darcy was a creature of comfort which to her basically meant that she wore long sleeve everything and had only one skirt. She looked down and gathered her boobs were going to be doing most of the work anyway, so she wasn't worrying about shirts too much.

Once Loki had gotten there he had been a little surprise at her state of dress or rather at her short black dress. The dress wasn't all that inappropriate but it was a size too small and her boobs spilled a little, her legs showed amazing though and the opened staring Loki was giving her was worth the discomfort she knew was to come.

"Barely dressed right?" She winked at him and pulled her coat while he gathered her suitcases.

She was thankful for the flat winter boots, even though she held on to her black heels on the other hand, the heels were going to be a last minute switch and she hoped there wasn't any ice. It would be beyond embarrassing if she broke her ankle before she made it to the door.

To her surprise there was a big, burly man sitting in the front seat which she immediately identified as Thor and an excited looking Jane on the backseat. Thor gave her a friendly wave which she returned as Loki put her things in the trunk, his car looked expensive and slick and she hoped it had seat warmers.

Loki opened the car for her and helped her inside, grabbing her hand tightly as she entered, she frowned at the unnecessary gesture but thanked him nonetheless, and she could only assume the brothers had been raised to be gentlemen.

"Darcy! Such a pleasure to finally meet you." The booming voice of Thor surprised her a little but she gave him an awkward handshake.

"Thor has wanted to meet you for a while now, said he wanted to know the girl that drives me crazy and takes care of me all at the same time."

Darcy gave an awkward laugh as Loki started the car and started the four hour drive. She wondered where Jane's sons were though.

"Erik and Ethan?"

"Our kids are with Thor's parents already, they got to start a little early." Jane told her, Darcy had no doubt Jane was grateful for the small break before the chaos of Christmas.

"So… let's talk about the whole..." Darcy made a hand gesture to indicate the situation at hand.

"How obnoxious am I supposed to be? Any juicy things I can do to annoy your parents? Should I try my southern accent? What up y'all?" Jane hit hard on the shoulder while she giggled, Thor gave her a booming laugh and she could practically sense Loki displeasure at the whole accent thing.

"Drop the accent, don't over do it. My parents are… elegant and hold manners to a high degree, I'm not asking you to drop all manners but improvise once in a while. Simplicity is key." Loki informed her and he looked and sounded so formal she wondered if he had ever considered becoming a professor.

Darcy thought over his words and decided the whole manners thing wasn't going to last very long. There had to be a better course of action, thinking about it she could only come up with one solution and she gave Jane a long suffering look.

"Am going to be the clingy girlfriend who is also a gold digger aren't I?" She gave a sigh of resignation and dropped her hands in her lap in defeat.

Jane returned her look of suffering while Thor laughed in the front.

Darcy had never been the one for road trips but she couldn't have phantom on how much Loki and Thor fought. It was the most ridiculous thing to her because she was pretty sure these were two grown ass men going at it because of the music in the car, every time Thor changed the music Loki would reach over and hit him on the head and then changed the station back and turned it up louder.

Jane, bless her, was trying to keep her distracted by talking about work –which when did that ever help? - And her sons who were fast approaching their sixth birthday.

Darcy interrupted the brothers' fight over the radio to ask about her supposed sordid past with Loki, much to her chagrin nothing was really decided and she had a horrible flashback to her drama professor who told them to always be prepared no matter what.

Darcy hated how some things got stuck in her head.

By the time they made it, Darcy was exhausted of sitting in the dress and her legs ache from the non-movement. She debated abandoning the heels but they would complete the outfit so that was a no go.

Darcy barely had time to admire the mansion before Loki was parking in the front. Darcy took a moment to put her heels on and Jane helped her re arranged her dress and fix her hair and makeup, while Thor and Loki got everything out the trunk.

She was messing with her hair when Loki knocked on the car's window. Afraid of falling down she grabbed hard to the hand Loki offered her.

"Listen, heels and me? Not best friends so I'm going to hold on to you until they come off okay?" Loki nodded and Darcy gave him a small grateful smile.

She let go of his hand to put her arm around his waist, carefully underneath the leather jacket he wore clinging desperately to his deep green shirt. Because of his height Loki chose to put his arm around her shoulders and they carefully made their way to the front door, looking for the world to see like the love dovey couple they were pretending to be.

Thor and Jane waited for them by the front of doors, in what Darcy could only assume was a show of support and loyalty. Thor gave her a tentative smile as he opened the door and shouted he was home.

The hallway took her breath away, everything had a gold accent to it, dark enough to appear gold and dull enough it didn't overpower the eyes.

"The realm eternal." Loki jokingly said to her side and Darcy frowned at him because the joke was lost on her.

She didn't have time to ask him either since Loki came to an abruptly stop in front of the first door to the right, while Jane and Thor walked inside without incident Loki squeezed her shoulder almost painfully and stared blankly at the open entry way.

Darcy's heart churned painfully in her chest, she had known the situation with his parents wasn't ideal but she didn't think it would be this bad. If Loki couldn't even go into the same room with his parents then this whole situation was bound to make not only problems but complicate already existing ones.

She poked him on the waist with one finger and Loki snapped out whatever dazed he had gone into.

"Listen we don't have to do this, I can just be the inappropriate employee Jane took along." She gave him a reassuring smile and moved to let go of him but he kept a firm arm around her shoulder.

"No. we're doing this." He told her firmly as he walked with purpose into the room.

White and gold, that's all Darcy could see as far as the room, plush white couch and gold accents all over the place, a living room she assumed. Jane and Thor were on the couch talking to two small blonde hair boys she recognized as Ethan and Erik, they looked excited and very hyper and Darcy, behind the plastered smile on her face, cringed.

The other two people in the room, who she could only assume we're Loki's parents, a middle aged couple standing behind the couch. They both appeared regal, even though they both looked pretty dress down, slacks and a white button down shirt on him and a gorgeous red cashmere sweater on her. They could have been the cover of a magazine, except Loki's dad was missing his right eye.

They also looked nothing like Loki.

Darcy batted this thought away, she knew plenty of people who weren't the carbon copy of their parents, no reason why Loki shouldn't be one of them.

"Mother, Father." The chill on Loki's voice was so strong Darcy had to suppress a shiver of fear from running down her spine.

"This is my girlfriend Darcy. Darcy, my parents, Odin and Frigga." Darcy didn't want to let go of Loki since she could practically feel him shaking with anger, instead of shaking their hands like she was supposed to, she simply raised her free hand and waved at them.

She could see the growing anger on Odin's face and confused frown on Frigga and sincerely hoped they didn't hold grudges.

There weren't any hugs or manly slaps on the back like she expected, Frigga told the room at large she would be in the kitchen finishing dinner and walked out. Odin wasn't far behind her when he announced he had work to do, and without a second glance at Loki, walked out the door.

After a beat of silence, Thor was the first to speak.

"Well that went… well actually it didn't go well at all."

The arm Loki had around her fell away and she awkwardly let go of his waist, she could see he was getting depressed and she honestly hoped someone knew what to do because she had no experience with the guy and his moods.

"I don't know what you're talking about Thor because this is going to be super fun, I can tell." Darcy told him drily, before Thor could answer two very hyper kids finally noticed the present of their favorite uncle and snarky assistant.

"Uncle Loki! Miss Darcy!" She caught a blond hair boy by the waist and hugged him hard.

Although Darcy had never met Thor she had met his kids who she cuddled and got hyper as much as possible, they adored the fact she gave them candy right after lunch and took care of them whenever their mother was too engrossed in science.

"Ethan! You're here and me without my candies." She heard a groan from the couch and she laughed merrily at the sound. Out of the two little brothers, Ethan was the one with the sweet tooth though Erik enjoyed them too he mostly enjoyed the salty, sour candies which Darcy adored him for.

Ethan let go of her in order to hug his uncle who was currently kneeling on the floor hugging and making Erik giggle. Ethan assaulted his uncle and brother by jumping over them, Loki lost his balance and they all ended on the floor a laughing mess of limbs.

Darcy took note of two things, the first one was how fast Loki's mood at seeing his parents disappeared thanks to his nephews and the second one was how much she would've love to be on the floor laughing right along with them because it looked way more fun than standing there in an uncomfortable dress and heels.

Before she knew it Thor was on the floor too and the whole became a tickling war between small and big brothers.

She walked over to Jane and sat down next to her.

"Are they always like this?" She wanted desperately to take off her coat because she was steadily growing warmer but her dress, which she was beginning to regret, made her feel ever more uncomfortable with children in the room.

"No, sometimes they're worse. Last summer Loki convinced them to help him cover our house in toilet paper right before he took them for the weekend." Jane giggled in remembrance and Darcy laughed along with her.

The boys rolled on the floor a more a couple more minutes but when Thor dared his brother to a fight, Jane was quick to stop them and scold them while her sons giggled at the adults' misfortune.

"Loki why don't you show Darcy her room, she is still wearing her coat Mr. Manners." Jane poked Loki on the chest before walking to her husband and starting a lecture on manners and broken vases.

"I'm sorry about that, why don't we grab our bags and I will show you to our room." Loki motioned her to exit the room and put a hand on the small of her back to steady her suddenly wobbly legs because did he just say our room?

To her surprise Ethan and Erik followed them, talking all the way to the stairs where Loki left her while he got their bags.

"Miss Darcy- "

"Erik I told you before you can call me Darcy."

"Darcy, is there really no candy?" Ethan's hopeful look made her crack a real smile.

"Maybe there is and maybe there isn't, I guess you little rascals will find out after dinner." She gave them a wink and they both gave her a huge smiles before running back towards the living room.

"And why not sooner?" Asked Loki, shouldering his own suitcase with her two big ones in each hand.

"Because I usually don't have to deal with the sugar high, there is no way in hell I'm dealing with two hyper kids. That's Jane's job." She kind of wanted to offer help with her bags, but she knew how heavy they were thanks to her over packing.

Loki laughed before motioning her to go up the stairs. She walked slowly, holding on to the wood banister, because her heels were not joke and they were already killing her.

The second floor was just as gorgeous as the first, Loki sneaked past her and walked towards the end of the long string of doors before reaching the last one on the left. He seemed to hesitate, but before she could ask if he needed help with the bags, he used his foot to gently open the already open door.

"Come on." There was a strange hitch to his voice but she didn't ask.

Loki was already opening his suitcase when she catch up to him, she ignored him in favor of inspecting his room.

"Holy shit." Was her first response to seeing the spacious room had grown up in, she shouldn't had expected anything else but she was still surprise at seeing the huge king size bed, the several bookcases around the room and even a sculpture in the corner of the room of a helmet with strange horns.

"Welcome to what my bro-Thor likes to call the lair of doom." Loki told her, sarcasm dripping from his words.

Darcy could see how Thor would think that. Dark green curtains that could easily be closed and envelope the room in darkness, the wood in Loki's room seemed darker than the polish wood from the rest of the house, almost like the room was taken from another house. It just felt different.

"Well, I like it and as your fake, clingy girlfriend my opinion should matter more." Darcy told him with a mock pout, Loki chuckled but didn't look up from his suitcase.

"There is plenty of room in the closet for your things as well, feel free to use as much space as you need."

"Right." She looked towards her two over packed suitcases and dreaded taking everything out, she wasn't tidy or organized and had she been at home everything would have ended on the floor rather than her drawers, or more likely everything would have stayed in the suitcases until she ran out of clean clothes.

Loki was still busy hanging his clothes, most of them looked like formal suits, and not paying attention to her. Darcy sighed and decided to get on with it.

Her jacket came off, along with her heels and then she was kneeling on the floor in front of her suitcases.

"You act as if you were going to war." Loki's amused voice came from behind her.

"I am." Darcy muttered.

"Than I shall help you." Before she knew it, he was kneeling next to her, rolling up the sleeves of his green shirt and opening the first suitcase.

She didn't even have time to tell him maybe it was a bad idea before he was staring at her underwear, the lacy purple bra she liked so much was front and center. Darcy barely had time to see his face before she started laughing.

"Perhaps I should not." He told her, over the sound of her laughter.

Darcy was torn between being grateful to Loki for helping her herd her clothes, and being pissed because he was so efficient it had taken so little time and now she had more time to spend with his parents.

The heels were back on, Loki throwing her a sympathetic smile before grabbing her waist and holding on to her as they descended the stairs.

"Everyone should be in the dining room." He guided her past the living room, past a hallway that looked like it extended for forever, and into the dining room that was just as elegant as the rest of the house.

Loki's parents sat close together on one side, while Thor and Jane sat opposite them, Ethan and Erik were nowhere in sight.

Darcy wasn't surprised when all conversation stopped as soon as they walked in the room, the feeling of embarrassment in the pit of her stomach was totally unexpected though and made her feel faint.

"Oh, you were talking about us? Please don't let our presence stop you from your gossiping." Loki's sneer was nasty, Darcy couldn't help but turn to look at his parents who looked beyond disapproving.

"Babe, that's not very nice." Her whiny tone made everyone in the room cringe, including herself. Darcy realized with horror that she sounded exactly like her mom. It took her a moment of panic to realize that maybe it wasn't a bad thing, if her mom had been anything, it was a whiny gold digger.

"Apologies." He gave her waist a squeezed before walking them behind Jane and Thor's chairs.

"Jane tells me you're her assistant?" Frigga spoke before the silence in the room became uncomfortable.

"Yeah, she obviously realized how awesome I was when she interviewed me, I mean I'm pretty awesome. Babe, like saw it too when I met him at Jane's lab, it was like fate or something." The only thing she needed was to play with gum and she win best airhead of Christmas.

"Yes, Darce is pretty great." Jane sounded like someone was pulling the words out of mouth against her will, a feeling Darcy could relate to.

"So was Loki like super naughty when he was little?" She was willing to keep the whiny voice as long as the awkward silence didn't come back, her heels were killing but no one had offer them a seat and she had a feeling that was on purpose. Loki looked like he wouldn't sit even if they ask him to.

"He was very quiet, studious, and yes, very mischievous." Frigga's smile was warm, a little sad too and Darcy wondered if it was because all mothers miss the toothless smiles of their kid once they grow up.

"Yes, I misbehaved quite a bit, is a wonder why I was never sent back to the pit of hell I crawled from." Loki's tone was harsh and unforgiving, Darcy could only focus on Frigga's now crestfallen face.

"Brother, that is uncalled for." Thor was on his feet on a second, turning to face Loki with the same energy he probably used to play football. Loki's arm fell from her waist and Darcy knew this wasn't the play fighting from the car ride.

"Is it? Is it? I don't believe it is, dear brother." Loki's face was red with anger and Darcy was surprise at how fast the situation had deteriorated.

"Mother loves you and you will be respectful."

"I'm only here because you forced me to come, do not forget so easily Thor."

"NO, I DON'T FORGET HOW MUCH OF A CHILD YOU CAN BE LOKI."

"ENOUGH!" Odin's intervention wasn't much of a relief, the look in his eye told them he wouldn't tolerate this sort of behavior in his home.

Darcy wanted to crawl into herself, unwanted memories coming back to her, memories of much worse fighting in her own home.

Before anyone could say anything else, the two little rascals ran into the dining room and demanded lunch. It helped to break the spell they were all under, Frigga stood with a flutter and motion everyone to sit while she brought lunch out, Thor offered his help and Jane started to settle the kids in the long dinning table. Odin sat at the head of the table, while Loki motion her to sit next to Jane and taking a sit besides her, right next to Odin.

Dinner was a quiet affair, even the twins seemed to sense something wasn't quite right and only talked between bites to each other. Darcy didn't dare put up her act of whiny girlfriend mostly because she didn't want to be killed by Odin.

Jane kept patting her knee in support but Darcy could already see what a horrible mistake she made in getting involved, she knew things were bad because when kids fight with their parents is always bad, but not this bad.

She had practically walked into a prearranged murder scene.

Once dinner was over, Jane volunteered herself and Thor for clean up duties, the twins left to their own room to play and Loki's parents vanished somewhere else together.

"Loki." She spoke quietly, childish afraid that his parents were listening to their conversation.

"Yes?" His own voice was a whisper, he hadn't look up from the table not even when Jane took his plate, not to tell her thank you and not when his mom asked him to help with the clean up. His hands were on his lap, spread open on his knees almost as if he wanted to kneel and pray.

"We need to talk." Because she needed all the information, because she thought they would leave her out of the fighting, she was the gold digger girlfriend who's clueless. She wasn't suppose to care and she wasn't suppose to know.

Loki gave her an indecisive look before standing and helping her stand, they walked silently back to his room, where she knew she was going to get all the ugly details to a situation she wasn't suppose to be involve in.

Probably the longest chapter, all other will be shorter.

My personal deadline for this is New Year's and not Christmas, so it probably won't be finished until then.