Or Five Times Natasha Intimidated Someone and the One Time She Couldn't

Steve was headed out the tower for his routine morning run when on his way to the elevators, he heard a faint tune playing from his pocket. Slowing his pace, he shoves a hand into his jacket and fumbles for his phone.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Steve? It's Pepper. I'm so sorry to bother you."

"Oh, hi Pepper. No worries, you're never a bother. Can I help you with something?"

"Yes, I'm trying to reach Tony, but -unless it's an emergency- he has JARVIS intercepting his calls. Please tell me that doesn't mean what I think it means?"

"Hate to say it, but we really haven't seen much of Stark since you left. A few of us drop in throughout the day , make small talk, invite him to eat with us, though he always says he'll eat later then waves us away. "

Pepper sighs into the receiver. "Great, he's still hunkered down in that workshop of his. He even promised me he wouldn't isolate himself like some compulsive mad scientist or that he'd at least try to take some breaks in between obsessing."

"Sorry, if he's taking any breaks we never see them."

"I suspected as much. And with me in Chicago for three days, I can't just march him out of there with one of my withering glares."

Pepper can hear Steve's grin over the line. "You do have a way of making Tony behave with a single look."

"Heh, thanks. Still, he can be quite the challenge. If only there was someone else who held that much influence over him. Then I could just have them kick Tony out of his workshop for a few hours and make sure he's taking care of himself."

Steve falls quiet for a second, then speaks. "So essentially, you're looking for someone Tony's more afraid of than you?"

"Well yes, that's one way to put it."

"Can you hold on?" He says, breaking out into a wider grin, "I think I have just the person in mind."

Almost fifteen minutes later Tony is interrupted in his workshop by an announcement from JARVIS: "Sir, Captain Rogers is requesting entrance."

"What does he want?" Tony grunts from behind a mountain of equipment. "Oh never mind, just unlock the doors."

The doors slide open as commanded and Steve walks in, eyes darting around the room's chaos to fix on the engineer. Tony's face is smudged, his clothes are rumpled, and his hair is mused in all directions- all tell-tale signs that his head's been buried for hours in whatever contraption he's been building.

Steve clears his throat and Tony glances up momentarily to acknowledge him.

"Cap."

"Still in here, huh?"

Tony doesn't try to hide his scowl, "Yep. Still here."

"You getting anywhere with all that…" Steve motions to the odds and ends cluttering the workstation, "…stuff."

"Yes. And I'd be getting there a lot faster if you weren't standing around being a distraction."

Steve frowns and crosses his arms, "Stark, you've been holed up in here for almost two days straight. "

"So?"

"So, have you eaten or slept at all during that time?"

"Uhhh….sure I have." Tony replies hesitantly.

"Really? Are you sure you're sure, because you don't sound so sure?"

"Of course I'm sure!" Tony snaps, "I caught a few winks at my desk here and there. Oh, this morning I had coffee and a few of those doughnuts Bruce brought in …at least, I think that was this morning."

Steve shakes his head. "And that explains why you look like crap."

"Hey! C'mon I'm on the brink of something amazing here! I'll eat when I'm done."

" 'On the brink of something amazing'? " Steve repeats, "That's always your excuse when you camp out in here!"

"Yea, because I'm me and awesome people discover amazing things. Duh!"

And there it was, Stark's signature ridiculousness.

On cue, Steve rolls his eyes. "Look, I didn't come to argue. Actually I…." He leans in conspiratorially, "I came in here to warn you."

At last, Tony drops the tools in his hands and looks up at the blond for longer than five seconds.

"Why, what's going on?"

"I spoke to Pepper a while ago, and since you've been ignoring her advice, she's sending in the big guns."

"Wait, she isn't having Rhodey lecture me again, is she?"

"No, I meant big guns in smaller packages... as in Natasha." Says Steve in a hushed voice.

"Tasha?! What, I didn't do what Pep asked so she puts a hit out on me?"

Steve shrugs, "I don't know, but I did see Nat not too long ago and she was strapped heavy with weapons. And she was looking for you."

"Are you…are you implying she's coming here…. Here to hurt me, cuz Pepper wouldn't let her hurt me…wo-would she?" Tony's statement is phrased more like a question than anything.

"She's instructed I refrain from inflicting permanent physical damage." Says a calm feminine voice from the threshold.

Much to Steve's credit, he barely flinches at the intrusion, unlike Tony who leaps a good foot into the air.

Finally Natasha enters, her gaze deadly and determined, dressed head to toe in full Black Widow gear. She doesn't as much as glance at the Captain, instead fixing piercing eyes on Tony.

"All the same, I'm going to get myself out the line of fire." Resigns Steve.

With a curt nod, Natasha steps aside and allows him to pass.

He turns to smirk at Tony, "I'll have infirmary on standby."

"My hero." Tony remarks dryly.

As soon as Steve exits, the billionaire plasters on his most convincing grin, "Sooo how's my favorite assassin?"

Natasha gets straight to business, pointedly ignoring the flattery. "Nothing personal, Stark, but Pepper's my friend too and she asked me to do her a favor, so I hope you can understand the awkward position this puts me in."

Tony's smile vanishes instantly, reflecting the barely contained dread already seeping beneath his skin.

"However," She continues, "That doesn't mean I won't enjoy this…" Her green irises flicker with a wicked gleam that only serves to terrify him further. "Because I will enjoy this."

Any signs of amusement fade from her features as quick as they had surfaced and she wastes no time advancing upon him.

He hears the whine of her widow's bites as she draws nearer. "I am going to give you ten seconds to walk out of here on your own accord. If you don't comply, I will stun you as many times as it takes until I can drag you out of here cooperatively. And trust me, it hurts, so multiple stings are inadvisable."

Tony scoffs, "Are you seriously threatening me right now!? With Pepper's authorization at that!?"

"Miss Potts told me to do whatever it takes to get you out of this room." Natasha explains, taking another step forward. "And I am." She adds evenly.

She begins her count, stalking closer. "One… two…"

"But this is cruel and unusual punishment!"

And closer. "Three… Four…"

"Did Pepper mention law suits because pain and suffering should ring some bells?"

"Five… six…"

He stumbles backward, mere inches away from her.

"Did I tell you I'm on the brink of something amazing?" He asks weakly.

"Sev-"

"Uncle! Uncle!" Tony backs himself into a desk, hands taking a defensive stance above his head. "Don't tase me! I surrender!"

He sidesteps her and scrambles for the door, "See, I'm leaving. I'm practically gone!"

"You best get yourself something decent to eat and at least 8 hours of sleep. Don't think I won't come find you!" She calls after him as he flees the room.

Not minutes later, Natasha whispers into her com, "Okay, it worked. He ran out of here like his feet were on fire."

Pepper giggles from across the line, "Fantastic! I knew you'd come through. What number did you get to?"

"Seven almost."

"Wow, he's braver than I thought. Maybe you could wrangle him into a couple of board meetings sometimes."

Natasha beams with undeniable enthusiasm, "You've got me on speed dial."

A/N: Stay tuned everybody, there are five more chapters in the works featuring some of our favorite Avengers.

Also, I wanted to take a moment and show my thanks and appreciation to Sudoku because it was something she had said once in our many messages to each other that inspired this humorous Nat and Steve centric story. I know it took a while, but I said I'd write it out and I did! I guess all that prompt pushing paid off after all. (◕‿-)