Prologue: Lapis Lazuli

I have never stopped wondering about those bright baby blues. They haven't always been like this, they didn't always shine like this. But over the years they have changed and I have always been proud of that accomplishment. They sometimes remind me of lapis lazuli, the blue gemstone which stands for honour and the truth. Two traits which are valued immensely in our family.

Tonight, however, those beautiful eyes are blazingly burning holes through my own dark blue ones with a desperation and anguish that frightens me.

It isn't right to see him like this. There are tears in the corners of his eyes which I'm not used to. I think I can count all the times I've seen him cry just on my two hands. I know it's because he always kept so much to himself all these years, but the fact that he displays his vulnerability instead of hiding it like he did before, only proves to me that this is more important than I could ever imagine a young child to be bothered with.

"Please Leo, please," he begs me, his hands clasped together as if in prayer.

I want to say 'yes' desperately, just to see that smile on his face once again. I want Raphael to clap him on the shoulder and Donatello to chuckle about his crazy antics. I want Mike to be like he should be; like he deserves to be. And that's the reason why I can't give into his wish. It'll only hurt him in the end, I know it.

"Why would you want to go back?" My immediate younger brother asks, obviously taking my side.

Again the blue eyes change, this time a small glimmer of betrayal crossing through them. He has always been closest to Raph and those two back each other up in every argument we have. That doesn't change though, that my hotheaded brother is very protective of the boy. He cares about his well-being first, just like we all do.

"You've told us hundreds of times that you never wanted to see her again," my youngest brother adds while pushing his glasses a bit higher up on his nose which even I have to admit is a bit nerdy. "You've never talked about her, we don't even know her name!"

I understand Donnie's confusion. When the news was brought up to me I also was quite shocked. Ever since me and my brothers made the stupid mistake by mentionig it, mentioning her, we decided in an unspoken agreement that we would never speak of his past ever again. I could never have guessed then that he would be the one to bring this thing up all by himself. What I'm worried about is if I should be afraid for him, or proud that he finally is brave enough to face whatever it might have been that he had to go through.

"You don't get it, Donnie," he says. "I'm not doing this for her. I'm doing this for my them, my siblings, even though they aren't even born yet."

I want to say something, but choke on my own words. "Mikey…" I try, but my mouth feels dry, parched, and it comes out like a croak. What does he mean? I've never seen him this upset and at the same time… determined? I wonder if we should go along with him. He's a smart boy and he deserves to make his own choices. On the other hand, we only try to look out for him. He's never had someone to take on that particular job and he isn't used to it. But he needs the support.

Suddenly there is a voice again. Mikey's voice to be precise although I would never think it would be him if I wasn't standing right in front of him, hearing it with my own ears and seeing it with my own eyes.

"My father is out of jail, guys," the sentence being said so quietly, it wouldn't even qualify as a whisper.