Christmas had never been a time of celebration for Hiroki Kamijou. As a child, he had too many competitions and recitals to attend during the end of the year. His only friend, Akhiko, went to different family events. Even on Christmas, his parents were away for business reasons. Every Christmas was spent tired and alone.

This was only natural for him.

Even years later, Hiroki spent his Christmas working or at home catching up on sleep. Being the mature adult that he is, Hiroki never believed in the point of such a commercial holiday. He'd see all the sales in department stores, decorations throughout the town, and couples on the street.

It was an image Hiroki didn't fit in.

At twenty-eight years old, Hiroki had one person he could call a friend and that friend was busy with his work. He didn't stay in much contact with his family as work quickly became his number one priority. Hiroki remained alone and this loneliness was present on Christmas.

That is, until he met someone who could be considered a significant other.

Nowaki Kusama came into his life and turned it upside down in an instant. The man with a child-like innocence tried so very hard to appeal to the loner and tore his emotional walls down like a bulldozer. Hiroki came to trust the man little by little, first with his body and then with his heart.

The two men fell in love and were happy being in the presence of one another, although one of them would deny it. The couple was determined to make the relationship last by being truthful to one another to avoid misunderstandings.

They followed this one rule until Nowaki suddenly left.

Hiroki didn't find a letter or a shred of evidence as to where Nowaki had gone. He awoke one day to find his stuff out of their shared apartment as if they were never there to begin with.

The brunette was heartbroken, but his personality wouldn't let that show. Hiroki's sadness was masked over by anger fueled by confusion.

"Why did he leave? Where did he go? Is he coming back?" These questions were often on his inquiring mind.

It was Christmas Eve and Hiroki was packing his bag for the walk home. It was the last day of classes at Mitsuhashi University of the year with winter break being on everyones' mind, students and facility alike. Everyone was excited about what presents they'd recieve, parties they were attending, and budding romances.

Hiroki, on the other hand, was the complete opposite.

He began his walk home in the almost twenty degree weather as he normally did, passing lovey-dovey couples on the street.

"They should get a room," he often thought in disgust. "They must really be happy though."

Hiroki reached his apartment and changed out of his work clothes into something more relaxing. He made himself a cup of hot coffee to warm himself up while wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt.

"I wonder how long it's been since he was here."

Hiroki put his cup down and started blankly at the white wall across from him.

"I wonder what he's doing for Christmas. Knowing him, he's probably going all out for his friends or helping strangers or something."

Hiroki chuckled to himself at the thought of his missing lover selflessly helping people on the street.

"I wonder what we'd do if he was here for Christmas. Huh?"

A drop of water slipped down his cheek as he was lost in his thoughts. He snapped out of his daze and noticed his vision being blurred and his face becoming warmer. "What the- I can't be crying. Why would I cry for him? Why would I want to see him for Christmas? It's not that important," he said. With every word, his breathing became uneven and tears trailed his face.

"Christmas isn't that special. Neither is he. So, why do I feel so empty?" he cried.

Hiroki pulled his knees to his chest and cried the Christmas night away, alone for another holiday.

Author's Note

I thought this story would feel more upbeat with a kinda "screw the world, I'm awesome like this" feel, but then I started writing and it took a dark turn. Like a dark U-turn. This isn't what I had in mind at the start XD But that's okay. Not all Christmas stories are good ones :P I hope you enjoyed this and you enjoy your Christamas and New Year!

Merry Christmas and sayonara~!