Sorry I haven't updated anything in a while I took a short (read as long) break from FF, but don't worry I will update team RADN soon. I just need to finish Neal's part. Anyways what's today? March 11st. Alright, Happy Birthday Dante. Hope you guys enjoy this. I don't own RWBY.

Dante woke up in his room, and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. He noticed Raphael setting up a big flat screen TV, while Ashley and Neal were nowhere to be found. "Morning sleepy beauty." Raphael said without looking at him. "Or should I say afternoon, since it's like 12."

"Dude shut it. I was doing something really late last night." He started to grin at what happened last night with his girlfriend.

"Dog."

"How do you know something like that even happened?" Dante asked surprised. Raphael turned towards him and then turned back.

"You have a perverted grin on your face. Anyways, you mind helping me set up the TV? It's being a jerk."

"Where'd you even get this?" Dante sat beside Raphael and then pushed him away.

"Our very rich friend. Anyways that's not important. I just bought Diablo 3." He said holding up the game.

"So?" Dante shrugged his shoulders. "And done."

"It's got co-op. You wanna crush the story with me?" He asked with a smirk as Dante turned around wide eyed.

"You serious? That's fricken awesome. Let's do this." Dante said grabbing one of the PS4 controllers.

"Shower first. You stink. I'll get the necessary food for such an endeavor." Raphael said taking the controller away. Twenty minutes later they just started the first mission, surrounded by pop and junk food.

"So, where's Ashley and Neal?" Dante asked focusing on the game, more specifically killing everything in sight.

"They went out on a date or som- ah! Get away from me jackasses!" Raphael screamed at the horde of enemies he was having trouble striking them all down.

"I got them." Dante said killing them.

"So, what did you and Yang do last night?" Raphael asked after a few minutes of murder.

"I got to second base."

"Nice." He replied both doing a mental fist bump to the other.

"I feel like I'm forgetting something important." Dante said as they were on the second mission, before gabbing a handful of chips, and stuffing them in his mouth.

"Maybe it's that assignment Professor Oobleck gave us that's due Monday." He said after taking a drink of Pepsi, the official drink of team RADN.(A/N I wonder if I'll get paid for that.)

"Probably." Dante said shrugging his shoulders. "By the way, I was thinking about trying to build a portal gun, what do you think?"

"I think people would want to kill us... well more people than usual."

"What makes you think we would use it to mess with people. Or that you'll be using it at all?"

"Cause it's us. That's the answer to both questions. Oh shit! I died."

"You make some excellent points." Dante replied trying to kill everyone. "So, what would be the first thing you would want to use the gun for?"

"Hmm. I think I would want to do something like faking my death and screwing with a whole bunch of people, mostly team CRDN."

"Dude you have problems. Like there's my craziness that just does harmless stuff to people-"

"Debatable." Raphael cut in.

"Then there's you that, if given the tools, would drive the entire planet crazy."

"You would be the one giving me the tools so I could do that."

"Obviously."

"What about you? What would be the first thing you do with the portal gun?"

"Well first of all, I would make multiple portal guns and put a portal in every major tourist spot around the world. I'd be all like 'Yang, you want to go grab a bite in Atlas and then hit one of the beaches in Vacuo.' I'd get a killer tan while I'm there."

"I can't go to Atlas anymore. Ironwood has a wanted poster for me." They played for a bit more in silence as they were killing a boss. Once they were finished Raphael started talking again. "You know, if I was in an apocalypse, I'd want it to be a robot one."

"Why robots?"

"Cause that would be the most fun. Zombies are just a lesser version humans."

"A species you already dominate."

"Monsters have weaknesses that I would easily exploit."

"What about Grimm, what's their weakness?"

"Me." He said with a smirk. "Plus robots would constantly be adapting. Eventually, I might get to be the under dog. And there is nothing that makes a fight better than being the under dog and winning."

"Your modesty continues to amaze me." Dante said sarcastically.

"Who needs modesty when you're a pure, unadulterated bad ass."

"More like pure, unadulterated ego." The two continued to play for two more hours, with limited bathroom breaks, until Raphael got a call on his scroll.

He paused the game and answered the cal from Ashley. "Yeah?"

"Can you and Dante go into the city? We need you to pick some stuff up" Ashley asks him.

"But, we're about to kill Belial, Lord of Lies. Then we'll get to act three." Raphael complained.

"Raphael." Blake's voice came from the scroll.

"Yes Blake?"

"Take Dante into Vale."

"Fine." Raphael said before ending the call, saving the game, and turning it off, but before he did Dante was pretty sure he heard something like 'I knew we shouldn't have gotten him to distract Dante.' However he decided to ignore it, in favor of doing something else.

"Whipped." Dante said as they were leaving the room, earning a shove to his shoulder.

The two of them took an airship to the city and Raphael led Dante through the streets. "Do you know what we're getting here?" Dante asked him confused.

"Yeah, Ashley told me this might happen earlier." Raphael replied and Dante just nodded his head. He led Dante in front of a large building.

"This is a bowling alley." Dante states. "What are we gonna get here, bowling shoes?"

"You'll see." Raphael replies cryptically opening the door, only to be met with utter darkness. The leader walks in leaving his partner behind.

"Is it open?" He got no response. "Raphael?" He tried again, searching for a light switch. Then all of a sudden the lights turned on.

"Surprise!" Them members of RWBY, JNPR, RAN, and SN yell out with a big banner that says 'Happy Birthday!'

"You guys remembered."

"Like you would let us forget." Raphael said grinning at his partner. "For the last week this was all that you could talk about."

"I'm surprised Raphael managed to keep you from getting suspicious." Ashley said as they walked to the many tables that had an assortments of pizza and drinks.

"What can I say? I'm just awesome like that." He said taking a bite out of his pizza slice.

"Please it was less you and more of the game. There's nothing quite like slaying demons."

"Indeed there isn't." The group went into their own conversations and when Dante felt like it was an appropriate time after the pizza he asked everyone, "so, who's ready to get creamed in bowling?"

"Bring it." Was the reply from the more excitable people there. They set up two teams, team one had Raphael, Dante, Blake, Yang, Ren, Nora, and Sun, while the other team had everyone else.

"I feel like we're at a disadvantage here." Jaune said causing Dante and Raphael to grin at him.

"You have to feel that way every time Raphael and Dante are on the opposing team." Ashley replied.

"Anyways, what should our team names be?" Neptune asked.

"Team Super Awesomeness!" Ruby called.

"There is no way-" Weiss started, but was quickly cut off.

"Agreed." Ashley and Jaune said.

"Then our team name will be Team Better than Team Super Awesomeness." Raphael said.

"What you guys can't do that." Ruby complained.

"Agreed." Dante, Yang, and Nora said. As Ruby complained about the names. They started the game and almost everyone was doing really well. The star players being Raphael and Ashley. The two worst players being Weiss and Neal. The teams stopped playing once they reached the half point and settled around the place.

"Raphael!" Ashley called from her seat as Raphael and Ruby were playing rock paper scissors on one of the lanes. If Ruby won Raphael had to change his team name.

"Yeah!" He shouted back

"How'd you get so good at bowling!?"

"I was kidnapped!"

"What!?" Everyone yelled in surprise.

"Raphael get over here! This is a story!" Dante called his leader over. Once everyone was there Dante continued. "So the reason you're good at bowling is that you were kidnapped? Explain."

"Well, it happened when I was... 15, I think. I was at some club in Mistral, where I was supposed to meet with some guy."

"Who?" Jaune asked.

"Not important. I arrived there first so I decided to have a drink. I had some, passed out, and when I woke up I was tied to a chair, shirtless, with a bunch of half naked girls rubbing themselves against me."

"I'm sorry. What?" Blake asked, with a hint of irritation in her voice.

"I thought it was weird too, but I was told they didn't do anything south, or concerning my mouth so that's good. Anyway, this guy came to me, and after dismissing the girls, said he wanted me to join his gang. I was bored at the time, so I was like 'I won't join you're gang, but I will stay for a bit.' He agreed and hoped that he could convince me to join."

"What the hell is wrong with you? Why wouldn't you try to leave?" Ashley asked him.

"And more importantly, where does bowling come into play?" Dante asked.

"Well, like I said before I was bored. There were no fun missions to do. If I were in Atlas I would have some fun with the police force, but there's nothing to do in Mistral."

"Hey!" Sun and Neptune complained.

"So I stayed for about a week, where everyday consisted of training, flirting, and bowling. Mostly bowling. Then I got bored of that place so I got Charon's Claws, and my clothes, and broke out of there."

"You're clothes?" Pyrrah asked confused.

"Yeah. I was forced to remain shirtless the entire week." Blake started muttering and Raphael thought he saw a storm cloud over her head.

"Huh, I was hoping for a more entertaining story." Dante stated.

"Alright Mr. Entertainment, why don't you tell us a story?" Raphael said crossing his arms.

"Very well and just to be fair, I'll tell a story from two years ago as well. Let's see... Oh yeah, there was that time when the Vale's police force came to arrest me."

"I thought you like in a small village outside of Vale. Why would they come for you?" Raphael asked his partner.

"That's what makes this such a good story." Dante told him. "So, about two years ago a new kid transferred to my school. The jerk went and stole all the toilet seats in the girl's washroom, which by the way is super old and cliche, like did he even think about the prank at all! Anyway, I got blamed for it and got a week's worth of detention and couldn't go on the field trip to Vale." There was a collective sigh from everyone as they could guess what he would do next. "So, to get back at the jerk, I switched his suitcases with some I prepared. Inside were bombs, a bomb making kit, a letter from some terrorist called Gray, and a Play Boy magazine."

"Why the Play Boy magazine?" Jaune asked.

"Why not? Later I was told that there was a lengthy, tiring, and funny process to get everything settled. When security realized that the guy wasn't a bomber, someone said that it was probably me who did it. So, some Valean police came to my village to give me a stern talking to."

"That wasn't so interesting." Raphael told him.

"It gets better." The silver haired adult replied with a grin. "When they came to get me, I was working in my laboratory. My shed is my laboratory." Dante continued before he was interrupted. "They tried to open the door, but it was locked and I was listening to music. They then forced the door open and I had this fail safe where if anyone tried to break in, the place would self-destruct after thirty seconds, giving me enough time to escape using my secret passage. The cops, however weren't so lucky. They're still alive, they just got blown up a little. Next thing I know every type of enforcement in Vale was in front of my house, trying to detain me."

"How are you not in prison?" Raphael asked.

"There was a technicality that the police didn't have the authority to force their way into my lab."

"Jesus Christ, man. You should be locked up."

"Are you kidding me? You're the most violent guy I know, You should be arrested." Dante replied.

"We could be cellmates!" Raphael realized.

"And we could take over the prison. We should get arrested some time, it could be fun."

"We should do it in Atlas."

"You two are not going to get yourselves arrested." Ashley told them. The two slumped their shoulders, but soon the students were back to bowling.

(Line Break)

The game of bowling ended with Team Better than Team Super Awesomeness winning. "Come on guys, it's cake time!" Raphael called, ignoring the request for a rematch from Ashley. Before they cut it they sang happy birthday, Raphael singing the alternate version. After they distributed the slices of chocolate cake Dante was pleasantly surprised with the taste. "Who baked the cake?" He asked to no one in particular.

"Yang." Raphael answered with a stuffed mouth, prompting Blake to hit him.

"Oh my God. Yang you can cook too? That's it. Marry me."

"You don't have a ring so no." She answered jokingly.

"That's it. My birthday's ruined. Please just go." Dante said mournfully as he pointed at the door.

"Alright, but I'm taking the cake." Raphael said getting up.

"No!" Dante tackled him to the ground as Raphael started laughing. "The cake is just too good."

"Ah, what any good marriage is based on. Cooking." Ashley said sarcastically.

"Oh, I just realized something." Raphael said.

"What?"

"Dante's a pedophile. He's dating a minor."

"Only by a few months." Dante tried to defend himself.

"Sorry Dante, but Raphael's right. I guess I'll have to go for someone my own age." Yang said looking at the rest of the guys, besides Neal.

"And just like that, you guys have one foot in the grave." Dante said, semi-glaring at the guys Yang focused on.

"What?" Jaune asked confused, and slightly scared.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, but Dante can be very jealous. One time he punched a guy in the face for flirting with me."

"He was totally asking for it! And you were encouraging him!" Dante pointed at his girlfriend as she shrugged her shoulders.

"I didn't know you would go that far. Plus it was kinda hot." There was a slight pause

"Really?" Dante asked with a raised eyebrow, as Raphael groaned.

"I swear, they can't go ten minutes without getting it on." Everyone turning away from them.

"You guys must have walked in on them a lot." Their teammates blushed slightly except Raphael who laughed.

"You have no idea." He started. "I've actually reached the point where I have zero fucks left to give on the matter." Blake, Weiss, and Ashley all hit him on the head. "Ow."

"Don't swear in front of Ruby."

"Why? I was swearing like a sailor by the time I was 4."

"And how'd that work out for you?" Ashley asked.

"About as well as me getting into all those fights. Man good times."

"You sure seemed to have fun getting beaten up every day."

"Are you telling me Raphael Zerk has actually lost a fight?" Ashley said, everyone slightly surprised.

"Only at first and they were like twice my age. Now though, I'll take anyone and everyone down in a fight."

"What about me?" Pyrrah asked.

"I'd kick your ass." Raphael stated, like how one would say the sky is blue or people breath air, prompting the red head to stand up.

"I seem to recall you not faring so well in the food fight." She said, causing Raphael's eyebrow to twitch as he stood up. Everyone else silently watching their exchange.

"I seem to recall you losing in that as well." The two started walking closer.

"Well then, maybe we should have an actual spar."

"Maybe we should." There was just an inch of space separating the two as they glared at one another.

"Fight fight fight! Kiss kiss kiss!" Nora cheered, breaking the atmosphere as the two warriors moved away from each other.

"Seriously you two, there was just way too much tension for a party." Ashley complained.

"I'm surprised Yang and Dante are still going at it." Blake commented.

"Really? I'm not." Raphael started. "One time I walked in on the two doing their thing, fell asleep on my bed, and they didn't even look."

"Wait, you walked in on them and so you decide to take a nap?" Jaune asked surprised.

"One it wasn't a nap. It was on my bed so it was sleeping. Big difference. Two, Jaune, I walk in on them so much I just ran out of shits to give on the matter. However, unlike with those two," Raphael jerked his thumb to to Dante and Yang, "Ashley and Neal get super embarrassed whenever I walk in on them kissing, not even making out just kissing. It's actually pretty funny."

"Raphael!" Said raven haired girl yelled, blushing.

"Aw, you're blushing." Raphael jokingly mocked. "Should I tell them that time when-ah! Ear! Ear!" Raphael cried out as Blake pulled on his ear.

"Don't be mean." She scolded.

"'Don't be mean,' 'don't swear,' 'don't get into so many fights.' Honestly Blake what can I do? Can I have a list or something that's Blake approved, which I assume is just work and read smut." He grinned cheekily at her, as everyone tried to muffle their laughter, until she pulled at his ear again, which she was still holding. "Ow!"

"Be quiet I'm doing stuff." Dante ordered.

"Yeah, it seems real important." Raphael said back, while getting Blake to let go of his ear.

"Don't be jealous cause you'll be single forever." Dante grinned at him.

"Shots fired!" Sun called out as Raphael put his hands over his heart, but then started grinning evilly.

"Dante wanna see something cool?" Everyone, but Dante shook their heads. "Alright then come here." He said moving to where the rest of the cake was. "Now there's a surprise in your cake, but you need to look really close to see it." Dante leaned it, but after a while turned to Raphael.

"I don't see anything."

"Really? Maybe you have to look closer." Raphael suggested. Dante listened to his leader and leaned closer to the cake. "Anything yet?" Dante shook his head, before leaning in closer. Raphael quickly grabbed the back of Dante's head and pushed him into the cake. Everyone started to laugh as Dante lifted his face face, revealing most of the cake on him, as he tried to lick his face clean, with limited success.

"You want a spoon?" Ashley asked in between laughs.

"I got this!" Dante said trying even harder than before. The night ended with everyone helping Dante finish his cake, and scolding Raphael.

So that's that. Next one. April Fool's day. Or what it will be known as the day everyone wanted to kill Dante. If you haven't already favorite, follow, and review. Oh, and bonus points to whoever got the Easter egg in here. Hint; it's from the podcast, usually said by Joel. Later.