Disclaimer: I own nothing

A/N: After the marathon of updating Hope I never forgot about this fic, I was ready to share more of Jane and Zachary and that is exactly what I have done! I hope you guys love Jane and Zachary together as much as I do, as well as enjoying some of the flashbacks that show how difficult their affair truly was. It's going to be intense.

Chapter 8: Unbreakable Bonds

Lisbon was clearly surprised when Jane showed up in the early afternoon, opening the door quickly with raised eyebrows. "You came."

"I said I would," Jane reminded her, not pushing her on her doubts, just wanting to get inside of her house so he could start about putting together their lives again.

She shut the door behind him, clearly a bit unsettled by this but she did her best to hide it. "Uh, we've been taking it easy today. Cartoons and quiet time in bed," she explained simply, "he's been a little tired since they didn't let him sleep much at the hospital but he's doing all right."

"Good," Jane said, "Can I see him?"

Again she wasn't ready for that request but she recovered. "Sure," her voice was a little high. She was nervous about Jane being in Zachary's life, not when she had no idea if this was a good idea or not. They had spent the past six years trying to pretend their affair hadn't happened, now they were going to be pushed together once more because of it.

Lisbon led him up the stairs and down the short hallway to one closed door. Inside was a slightly messy room obviously done up for a little boy who had a penchant for space. His bedspread had stars, planets and rocket ships designed on it. One wall behind his bed was painted dark blue that complimented it with glow in the dark stars, a space ship and more planets. He wondered who was responsible for that since he knew Lisbon's talents didn't lie in that area.

But the most beautiful part of the room was the little boy sitting up in the bed; he was wearing pajamas and had a small pile of army men in his lap. He was engrossed with them, making noises to mimic a warzone.

"Zachary," Lisbon called softly, "Look who's here."

He tore his eyes away from his toys and immediately lit up when she saw his father. "Daddy!"

That one word was enough to trip his heart; he remembered how Charlotte used to call him that with the same look of adoration in her eyes. They actually looked a lot alike; it shouldn't have been surprising since they were both his children. But Jane was still taken aback a bit by the resemblance, it hurt a little, there was no denying that. But mostly he felt better, like something he had been missing was finally put back into place.

Zachary was unaware of his father's complicated feelings on his existence. The boy was just happy that the father he'd hoped for all of his life was finally there. He scrambled out of the bed but his mother was quick to stop him.

"Zachary, you're supposed to be resting," Lisbon warned him.

The little boy contritely slipped back into the bed. "But Daddy is here."

"Well he doesn't have to stay in the door way," she replied, turning to give a pointed look at Jane.

That spurred him to stop analyzing this situation and actually step into the room. "Hello, Zachary," he said, taking a risk and sitting down on his bed. He was surprised when Zachary sat up and wrapped his little arms around him. Jane returned his hug, enjoying the smell of his hair and the knowledge that he was once more holding his own child.

"Mommy said you might not come."

Jane turned his head and eyed Lisbon who colored immediately. "I said I wasn't sure," she clarified, "anything could have happened."

Like him changing his mind but that idea had never occurred to him. He turned back to his son and smiled. "Well I came."

Zachary grinned happily as if this was Christmas morning. "Will you stay?"

"As long as your mother allows."

Lisbon nodded from across the room and soon recognized that Jane wanted that opportunity alone with his child. "All right, I'll be downstairs if you need anything." She stepped out of the room, leaving the door open just a crack.

Now father and son were alone for the first time and immediately was at a loss at what to say. He settled for a lame segue. "I see you like spaceships."

"Outer space is cool. Buzz Lightyear is there! He fights aliens!"

Jane smiled then at their similarities. "Like Luke Skywalker."

"Who's that?"

"You've never seen Star Wars?" His son shook his head. "Then we'll have to correct that. You'll love it, space ships and laser swords."

"Will you watch it with me?"

Jane felt a pang as he nodded his head. "I'd love to."

Zachary looked pleased with that, an assurance that he would see his father at least once more. Jane was feeling a bit more comfortable too; Zachary was very receptive to the idea of him being his father. All they had to do was get to know one another.

"I know your mother has been making you rest," Jane began, "that can't be fun."

He shook his head. "Mommy is mad I climbed the tree."

"She is more upset because you scared her," Jane explained, "but I'm sure you won't be doing that again."

"No!"

"Good," he grinned. Jane reached beside the bed where he'd placed the plastic bag he'd brought with him. The night before he'd found a local comic book store, knowing that entertainment would be needed for a little boy on bed rest. "I loved these when I was your age," Jane explained, pulling out three comic books. He'd gone for some classics, Iron Man, Superman and Batman. Something to whet Zachary appetite.

"Will I like them?" Zachary asked, running his fingers over the glossy covers.

"I think so," Jane told him, "you are my son after all." Zachary seemed to like being called his son almost as much as Jane liked saying it. "Let's find out," Jane offered.

Zachary scooted over on his bed so Jane could sit up against the headboard, both of them reclining comfortably. It didn't take long for the young boy to find out his father was right, he did enjoy watching superheroes come to life on the page.

They finished Superman defeating Lex Luthor's diabolical plans and Iron Man was attacking The Mandarin when Jane noticed that Zachary had fallen asleep against his side.

Jane put the comics down on the bedside table and gently tucked his son into the bed, pulling the covers up around him. He took a moment to drink in the sight of his child. Noting how his soft blond hair curled and that he had his mother's nose and chin. He really was beautiful, even more so now in person then any of the time he'd stared at his pictures.

Jane was quiet as he left the room, careful not to wake him. He made his way downstairs to seek out Zachary's mother. He found her sitting at the table in the breakfast nook, a cup of steaming tea in front of her. Her head was bent over the cup and she was toying with the tea bag, pulling it up and watching it fall back into the water with a plop. It was obvious that tea was the last thing on her mind.

"Zachary is asleep," Jane told her, announcing his presence.

She met his eyes. "Good, he needs more rest." Lisbon stayed where she was, awkwardly staring at him. Eventually she cleared her throat. "Would you like some tea?"

"Please," Jane said taking a seat across form hers. She hopped up and pulled a simple mug down from the cabinet. The water she'd boiled from before was still hot so she merely poured that into the cup and set another tea bag in it.

She set it in front of him and resumed her seat across from him. Jane took a sip of tea and looked at her amused. "Are we going to keep asking questions with our eyes or will we actually ask them aloud?"

"I don't have any questions," she told him, sipping her tea.

"Come on. How can you not?"

Lisbon put her tea down, done playing coy. "Fine. What is this?"

"This?"

"This. You coming over to see Zachary. What is it?"

Jane shrugged. "I thought we had this conversation at the hospital."

"And I thought you made your choice, two months ago." Lisbon replied, "You said you weren't sure you could be his father then. What has changed between you and now?"

"Time," Jane told her, "I've had time to process this without you browbeating me into making the choice you want."

"Excuse me?" She asked, bristling at his accusation.

"You never intended for me to be in Zachary's life," he reminded her.

"Yes I suppose showing up in Malibu with your love child was exactly what your wife needed to see," Lisbon shot back.

Jane shook his head. "Stop hiding behind that excuse. You weren't keeping Zachary from me to protect my marriage. You did it to protect yourself."

Lisbon scoffed at that idea. "As if you wanted that phone call six years ago."

"While I may not have been hoping you would call me up to tell me you were pregnant, don't assume I would have abandoned you either."

"Then what? Would you have told your wife or kept us hidden?"

Jane was silent now; it was impossible to truly know now that the opportunity was gone. He knew what he would have liked to have done, but it was hard to say if he would have done the brave thing or not. "I don't know what I would have done, but you should have given me a chance."

She shook her head but he quickly cut her off. "I know why you did it, you were afraid. Afraid to be rejected and afraid that you wouldn't be able to escape me. You were also ashamed, single motherhood was certainly preferable then being the other woman. You could just pretend I left, that there wasn't anything more than that. But none of this stemmed from your desire to help me, if it had you would have told me the day I walked into the CBI."

Lisbon eyed him carefully. "Why would you want him? You hate yourself because of what happened."

"You were there," Jane pointed out, "and you love him."

"But you blame yourself for your family's deaths?"

"Our affair didn't cause their deaths," Jane explained, "Yes I'm ashamed I cheated on my wife and betrayed my family. But even if I hadn't, they would still be gone. Not having an affair with you wouldn't have stopped me from going on television and lying about Red John. We'd be in the same place we are now, just without Zachary." He smiled now. "You can't deny the world is a far better place with him."

Lisbon did nod, too stunned by his speech to say anything. It was overwhelming to have him say such wonderful things about her child even when he admitted that the circumstances surrounding his birth were far from ideal.

"So…you can do this?" Lisbon asked, "Even though you would be loving a child from the woman you cheated with?"

"Zachary is my family too, regardless of how he came to be. He is my child, I want to be in his life."

Lisbon studied him carefully, taking in his words and trying to decide if she should believe him or not. Finally her posture relaxed a little. "All right. We'll find a way to make this work."

He smiled, satisfied that they had come to that agreement. They were both quiet again for a short while before she said; "I want to keep this between ourselves."

He raised his eyebrows. "I'm not going to lie about our son."

"I'm not saying you do that," she told him. "But for now we are still trying to figure this out. We need time before we let everyone know that we had an affair six years ago."

Jane grimaced. He honestly wasn't looking forward to that either. He could understand her desire to put it off as long as possible. "Fair enough."

"And Zachary is too young," she pointed out very quickly. "Eventually he will have to be told but right now all he needs to know is that you couldn't be with him before, but you are now."

Jane nodded. "Agreed." He leaned back at least content with their decision so far. "Can I come and see him this Saturday?"

Lisbon thought for a moment and then nodded her head. "Okay."

"Thank you."

"We'll have to take it slow but Zachary really wants to know you," she told him, "you were all he's been talking about today."

"Well you've done a good job with him, even if you were remiss in introducing him to Star Wars."

She was caught off guard for a moment then rolled her eyes. "I'm sure you'll correct that oversight."

"Right away."

Lisbon smiled a little. "Something tells me you are looking forward to that."

"I am," Jane answered honestly.

It was the truth. He knew their choices six years ago had been reprehensible and wrong but he had no idea how they had become some lucky to have Zachary come from it. He knew Lisbon would say it was all a plan by God, while he couldn't share those beliefs he wasn't going to turn down the gift life had granted him. Even if he didn't deserve it.

Patrick insisted on taking her to a sushi place for lunch after her workshop had ended for the day. She was happy to see that here were no prices on the menu; she honestly didn't want to know how much the food cost. She had never had sushi from a place like this, she was used to checking the expiration date before deciding whether or not to get them.

He seemed quite at ease but then again she had a feeling that this man could change his colors quite easily, fitting in at a five star restaurant or a greasy diner. She was the fish out of water here. Still, it wasn't such a bad thing being spoiled, she rather enjoyed it herself.

"So," Patrick began in between their bites of Rainbow and Spider rolls of sushi. "Now that your workshop is finished, what other plans do you have?"

"The conference goes on for another two days," Lisbon explained, "They have lecture series that should be interesting."

"And here I was thinking you would spend some time on our beautiful beaches."

"I am here for business reasons."

"And is that why everyone is here?" Jane asked, "strictly professional reasons? No one is taking a trip to Disneyland or walking down Hollywood Boulevard?"

She blushed and looked down at her plate, smiling a little. "All right, I'll admit, everyone is finding a way to turn this into a mini-vacation."

"Then there is no reason you shouldn't also."

"What do you have in mind?"

Jane studied her for a moment, pondering the question. "Well, do you have anything pressing tomorrow?"

She should say no, professionally and personally for many reasons. But she was very bad with saying 'no' to him. So she shook her head and he smiled. "Well then, we'll go to the beach tomorrow and I'll teach you to surf."

The words 'beach' and 'surf' were two words that didn't really go well with her. "I can't surf."

"Hence why I'm going to teach you."

"I don't have a swimsuit."

Now he really grinned. "We can go pick one out now."

This time she did shake her head in protest. "No, if you picked it out it would be an over expensive scrap of material on a string." The wolfish grin on his face confirmed her prediction. "I'll pick out my own tonight, then you can pick me up tomorrow."

"I was so looking forward to you in a bikini."

"Who said I wouldn't buy one?"

And just like that, his wolfish grin returned.

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The next day Lisbon found herself on the beach, the wide expanse of ocean all around her while Patrick showed her all of the finer attributes to a surfboard. She had given him the surprise by wearing a bikini that morning but she was proud that it was one she purchased for herself at a reasonable price for her modest budget.

Now she had to figure out how to somehow balance on a foam board in the ocean. That was something she honestly had no idea was even possible, let alone able to be accomplished by her. But Patrick seemed sure she would be able to do it and as odd as it seemed, she did trust him.

He explained how to paddle out, waiting for the wave, "popping out" once she caught it. But the only way to actually learn was with practice. So soon enough they were both paddling out.

The day was warm but the beach wasn't very populated, it was a good day to try new things. There they practiced a bit more with Lisbon getting a real feel of how to lie on the surfboard, how to sit up and feel when a wave was coming from behind. Then she sat back and watched Jane do it.

He was amazing, like a blond Hawaiian god. It was no wonder women would gladly throw themselves at him, an Adonis in his own right but he made everything seem effortless. He seemed to really find himself on the water too, like he felt at peace here.

When he came back he announced it was her turn to try. But the next wave came and just passed right from under her. The next one she attempted it and almost had it but wound up falling off within a moment. She came up laughing, but determined to try again. She'd been so close!

This time she waited, feeling it like Jane said she should. Then when he told her that this was the right one she was ready. She started paddling forward as soon as the wave caught her and her heart raced as her board steadied. Then it just kept going.

Holy cow! She was actually doing it!

Lisbon carefully rose up onto her knees, too afraid to actually try standing on the board but this was enough. It was exhilarating and exciting!

The board wobbled and she fell off but for a little while she had actually been doing it! Maybe she hadn't made it all the way to the shore but she'd actually surfed for a minuet.

She paddled back out to where Patrick was waiting with a smile on his face.

"Great start," he told her honestly. "Now, lets see you do that again."

It was Saturday morning, a day normally reserved for cartoons and laundry; Lisbon used the weekends partly to catch up on housework as well as some real time with her son. She loved the weeks when she wasn't on call; it meant she was certain to be able to hole up with Zachary for the weekend. But this week had been different, for one, Zachary's father had made a sudden reappearance into his life and Jane insisted that it was a permanent one.

She would admit that things had changed, at least at the office. Jane asked her every day how Zachary was doing, even calling him "our son" in private. It startled her but it wasn't a bad thing either. That was something she was coming around to, admitting that Jane being with them was a good thing.

It wasn't easy.

For six years she had drilled it into her head and heart that it was for the best that Jane was away from Zachary. He had a family, a family that didn't need to be broken up because she had a son. That was her mantra for a while. And then after Jane lost his family and started working with her…well she told herself that he wasn't ready to be a father, and he'd agreed with her at first.

His accusation that she wasn't doing this to protect Zachary stuck with her. At first she was still insistent that it wasn't true, that protecting Zachary was the only thing she thought about. But the more she thought about it, the more she saw some reason behind his logic. If protecting Zachary was the only thing she cared about then why did she keep pushing Jane away even when her son was begging for any information on his father?

Now the ball firmly rested in Jane's court, if he wanted to actually be a father to Zachary then she was out of excuses to stop him. It was time to hope and pray that this was the best thing for everyone.

She had finished with the breakfast dishes and was putting the colors in the dryer with the whites in the wash when there was a knock on their door. Lisbon hurried down the hall to answer, since the "stranger danger" talk with Zachary he hadn't wanted to answer the door since. Lisbon was surprised to find Jane on the other side, but only mildly. "Are you here to see Zachary?"

"And correcting a great wrong," Jane told her before holding aloft the whole collection of Star Wars DVDs."

She rolled her eyes. "All right, fine, this should be interesting."

Lisbon led Jane to the living room where Zachary was sitting on the floor, legs in the air while he played with some army men, only mildly interested in his cartoons. "Zach," Lisbon said to get his attention, "your daddy is here."

In a flash, Zachary had abandoned his toys to hurry over to his father. He wrapped his arms around his legs tightly, "You came back."

"Of course I did," Jane told him, "Did I say you'd be seeing a lot of me from now on?" Jane knelt down so he could hold his son in his arms; Lisbon had a feeling that was the most important thing to him, holding his child. "Besides," Jane continued, "I promised we would watch Star Wars!"

"Really?"

"Yep," Jane said showing him the DVDs, "And we are going to make sure we watch all of them."

Now it was Lisbon's turn to be skeptical. "Really? All six?"

"We'll start with the originals," Jane assured her, "They are the ones that truly count."

Still, three movies was a lot for one day.

But Zachary was enthusiastic. "All right!"

"It'll be fun," Jane told them, "We can order a pizza and enjoy the pinnacle of science fiction."

Lisbon wasn't quite as enthused, she liked a good movie but she wasn't sure how much fun it would be trying to have her five year old sit still for 7 hours, longer if Jane tried to bring in the prequals.

Still never let it be said she was against father/son bonding time. She took a seat on the couch with Zachary in between his parents when the opening title began. She peeked over to see that Zachary was already amazed, just as any young boy would be at the testosterone-filled goodness of Star Wars. She caught Jane's eyes as he was doing the same thing as she was and they both shared a smile.

Well this might be fun.

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Lisbon wasn't wrong about it being fun; Jane was adorable trying to pretend he wasn't a fanboy when he totally was. She caught him mouthing out "Rebel Five standing by" and quoting along with the movie more than once. But the real fun was watching Zachary fall head over heels in love with the series.

He would stare at the screen intently, his eyes widened with joy with every fight. Anytime the lightsabers came out he would get really excited, adoring every crack with the laser swords. More than once he just exclaimed how "cool" something was, be it a gunfight, Luke racing through the Death Star with Leia or when Luke managed to blow up the Death Star using the Force.

Oh yes, she knew that she was going to have to invest in all things Star Wars soon.

They took a break between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back, to enjoy pizza and icecream, which was Zachary's favorite meal for sure. Then it was back to watching the movies for as long as they could.

She made it halfway through Return of the Jedi, but didn't remember anything after that until she woke up early in the morning. It was still dark out but the digital readout on the cable box said it was six in the morning.

With a groan she got off the couch, Zachary's feet were in her lap and his head was curled up on a pillow next to his father. Jane was asleep too, what was unusual was that he was sitting up and asleep on the couch as opposed to lying down and napping.

Lisbon couldn't help but smile, it was so easy to see how alike they looked, there was no denying they were father and son, not when they were together.

She hurried over to the kitchen to make some coffee and see if there was something easy she could scrounge up for breakfast. She had just put the grounds in the maker and turned around, only to jump when Jane appeared behind her. "Sorry," Jane said with a smile, "didn't mean to startle you, guess you Jedi instincts didn't kick in."

"Funny, very funny," she remarked wryly.

"You tried admirably," Jane told her, "But you fell asleep first, Zachary lasted about ten minutes longer."

"And you?"

"I lasted through the whole thing of course," Jane told her, "You know I don't sleep."

"Sure you do, I watch you sleep on your couch all of the time."

He grinned then. "Not quite the same thing but I'll concede that point."

She rolled her eyes and found a box of cinnamon rolls in the fridge that could be baked. More sugar wasn't exactly what Zachary needed but she didn't feel like cooking anyways.

"I should be angry with you," Lisbon told you, "You do realize you've created a monster right?"

Jane shrugged. "I'm not going to feel sorry for it."

"You should be. He's going to be wrapping a brown sheet around him and swinging a broomstick around for days."

"Only until I get him his own lightsaber."

She shook her head with a grin. "It's going to be chaos, all he'll talk about is Star Wars, it's going to be Ninja Turtles all over again. I'm not sure how I'll survive this now."

"You'll be fine," Jane assured her, "I'll be here to help."

Lisbon eyed him seriously. "Will you?"

"I thought we discussed this already," Jane replied, "I told you that I wasn't going anywhere, that I was going to just walk away from Zachary, he's my son."

"I'm just not sure if it is going to be as easy as you say," Lisbon told him, "What's going to happen when the guilt comes back? How will you be able to be a father to Zachary at the same time?"

"You think I've stopped feeling guilty?" Jane asked her, "You're wrong, that's never left. But I felt worse when I wasn't in Zachary's life; I was failing both of my children. I can't live like that again."

She studied him as he spoke, taking in what he was saying. She hadn't thought that he would feel guilty over not being in Zachary's life, she could understand how it was better for him to stay with them…it meant he felt like he was doing something right. But that didn't help her concerns. "I'm worried you will hurt him."

"Well there isn't a way for me assure you that won't happen except time," Jane explained, "You have to give me time with him to prove to you that I won't hurt him, or you."

The 'or you', struck her. So he still believed this was actually about her. And maybe he was right, but her concerns weren't wrong either. "All right, we'll keep up with this. You coming over to see Zachary and all. But we still want to keep this private, as long as possible."

"You want avoid everyone finding out I'm his father, thereby our affair."

"Do you want to have that conversation with Minelli? Or the team?"

"Nope," Jane said, "I'd love to avoid it as long as possible myself."

She actually laughed a little at that. "Well at least we are in agreement there."

Jane nodded but then he sighed. "It won't last forever, eventually it's going to come out."

"I know," Lisbon said, "And I'm dreading it."

"So am I."

"We have to shield Zachary from it," Lisbon told him, "as much as possible."

"We will," Jane agreed, "And we'll do it together."

Together.

That was a hard word to swallow again. But he was right, she couldn't handle all of this by herself and Jane was a master at hiding things. Maybe they could make this work. It just wasn't going to be easy.

But easy wasn't in the cards anymore.

They continued to attempt to ride the waves for a while before Patrick declared that they should go back to the shore if only so she didn't burn up. She agreed because he was right, if she wasn't careful then her fair skin would turn bright red and there was nothing sexy about a sunburn.

Their towels were waiting for them underneath the umbrella a few feet from where the waves were lapping on the shore. Patrick reached it first and he grabbed one of the towels to sling around him, she came padding up right after him. "You look like Aphrodite stepping out of the sea," he told her.

She grinned at that line; it touched her of course, like most sappy romantic lines would. Patrick wrapped a towel around her and began to vigorously rub her down, his gaze almost lecherous. She leaned in to kiss him but he pulled back, suddenly his gaze became dark.

"Patrick Jane?" Lisbon whirled around to see a middle aged woman wearing an obviously expensive one piece with matching sarong, hat and sandals. Her diamond jewelry was blinding in the sunlight and Lisbon knew she came to the beach to be seen, not to enjoy the waves.

Instead they'd been the ones spotted.

"Edith," Jane said calmly, "what a surprise to see you here."

"Yes," she said reluctantly, she was eying Lisbon up and down not even trying to hide her disapproval. Lisbon knew she was screwed.

But Jane still seemed at ease, he was looking into Edith's eyes and even put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "It is a nice day isn't it, it's wonderful to come here and just hear the sounds of the ocean crashing, a steady, calming sound. That's how it makes you feel, calm."

Lisbon stared at him, completely at a loss as to what was happening. But Edith's smug look had faded into a blank stare.

"Good," Jane said, "now when I count to ten you are going to go back to your spot of the beach and forget that we were here, nothing happened, you just took a walk on the beach and went back and saw no one you recognized. 1…2…3…"

She stood there in awe as he finished counting and as soon as he said the number 10, Edith turned right around and walked away without a word. Lisbon stared after her for several moments, taking it all in. Then she burst. "What the hell?"

"That was a close one," Patrick said, misinterpreting her statement.

"Did you just hypnotize her?"

"Is that what is upsetting you? That I fixed this?"

She shook her head in disbelief. "We are idiots?"

"Why?"

"Why? Did you not see what just happened? Some woman caught us together and you…you used your Houdini tricks to fix it!"

"Houdini was an escape artist," Jane reminded her, "not a hypnotist."

"Shut up!" Lisbon replied, "We are still so incredibly stupid for thinking we can pull this off especially here! I should have never come here with you. Hell, I should have never called you. That could have been your wife! Then what would you have done? Lie, hypnotize? Told the truth that you have a mistress?"

Jane's expression was stormy, like a turbulent hurricane beating on the shore. "Why do you think you're the only one with guilt?"

"Then why are you here?"

"Because right now you're the only thing that makes me feel something."

She was stunned by that statement, more than anything Jane had ever said to her before. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry—." He started.

"No," Lisbon said quickly, "I overreacted."

He pulled her into his arms and she gladly folded herself against his body. "This isn't a mistake," Jane told her.

But she knew that was a lie. But sometimes…sometimes she almost believed it was true.

A/N: I loved this chapter but I can't wait for the next one as Jane and Lisbon get found out for the first time in the present! And the worst part is that they are in trouble of Zachary finding out the truth as well...