TWENTY-TWO CALIBER: A STEPHANIE PLUM-INSPIRED NOVEL

p. 11

Chapter Twenty-Four

After we ate our dinner the freezing was starting to come out of my leg and I was feeling pretty sore. Morelli gave me a pain pill and a glass of water. I hobbled down to the bathroom and got ready for bed. I got to the stairs and looked up and sighed. Ranger came over and picked me up and carried me up to Morelli's bed. This damsel-in-distress thing was getting old.

The pain pill knocked me out and I slept fitfully for three or four hours. When I woke, the house was quiet and dark. My leg was killing me. And I needed to tinkle. I got out of bed, trying not to disturb Joe in the spare room or Ranger down below on the couch. I used the facilities and then decided it would be a good idea to go downstairs to get another pain pill from the kitchen. I crept down the stairs as quietly as I could, whispering to Bob it was me so he wouldn't bark, then tried to creep quietly down the hallway and into the kitchen. I turned on the light and ran a glass of water from the tap. I heard a noise behind me. Apologizing for waking him up, I turned around expecting to see Ranger. Instead I was faced with Mario. Mario was pointing a gun at me, blocking my way back to the hall. Bob came charging down the hall and ran over to me, leaning into my leg to have his ears rubbed. As terror surfaced, blood ran from my head and pooled in my feet. Black spots danced before my eyes. My only hope, I thought, is to keep him talking long enough to have Ranger and Morelli wake up. Pretending to be brave, I said "how did you get here?"

"I've been sleeping here at nights", Mario replied. "There is a window in the basement I broke and opened a few days ago. I come in at night, just before you go to bed, when you won't hear the sounds of me getting into the basement. I've been waiting to get to you."

"Why are you threatening me?"

"Because you are ruining everything! All I wanted to do was get some money, so I didn't have to go to jail. In jail, they make you go to the bathroom on a toilet without a toilet seat, in front of everyone. I don't want to do that. And it's not even fair. It's not like I got to keep the TVs. It was just a lark, a drunken lark. I shouldn't have to go to jail for that.

"But I knew if I didn't go to jail," he continued, "Mom could lose her house. And I didn't want that to happen. So I followed Vinnie one night back to his house, intending to ask him for help. Shortly after Vinnie went in the house, Lucille came out. So I waited, trying to get up my nerve to talk to Vinnie. Then, after a couple of minutes of planning out what I would say to him, I saw Joyce Barnhardt drive up. A couple of seconds later I saw Joey Trimble and her dog show up. I knew whatever was happening would be good if Joyce and Vinnie were involved. So I crept up to the windows and what do you think I saw? Joyce and Vinnie and the dog doing things no dog should ever do. So I used my phone and taped it. And I thought, maybe, I could get enough money to pay back the bond. Then I could disappear, I wouldn't have to go to jail and Mom wouldn't lose her house. It was a good plan."

"But then you came along", he said. "You started asking questions. You started sticking your nose into everything."

"Joe asked me to. He was worried about you … What about Tessa and the kids?" I asked.

"Things haven't been good between Tessa and me for a while now. It's not like it used to be. It's not good like it is between Tina and me. I was going to take Tina with me when I disappeared, but I was leaving Tessa behind. I don't want kids – they are snivelling, whining little brats. Tina doesn't want kids. She's the perfect person for me.

"Like you are for Joe. And that's another reason why I was after you. Because of Joe. He was always the golden boy. He was always the example child. All my life: 'Why don't you act more like Joe?' 'Why don't you join the military, like Joe?' 'Why don't you join the police force, like Joe?' 'Why don't you get a job, like Joe?' BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO! After I married Tess and had the kids, the comparisons slackened off. But now I was caught with the TVs, it started again. 'Why can't you be more like Joe?' Well, Joe has the perfect life. And I wanted to take away part of that perfect life, to make him hurt like I have been hurt."

"And then I didn't show up for court. I knew Vinnie would be searching for me and you would be the one asked to come and get me. And you can't come and get me if you are dead. It made doubly-good sense to get rid of you."

"Grandma said she saw you. I was always her favourite grandchild, you know, so she told me lots of stuff. I would call her when I knew my mom would be out shopping and Grandma would tell me how you and Joe were doing. She said she gave you the eye when you first starting asking questions about me, she had done it for me and I knew I had to make the eye real, for Grandma's sake. So Alex and I started leaving threats at your apartment. But you weren't taking the threats seriously, so I shot your car. I had just left when you arrived in that Porsche, so I stayed a few minutes to see your reaction. The explosion was great. And it was even better when I saw some of your hair burnt off. But you still didn't take the threat seriously. So I checked to make sure you weren't at Joe's house one night. When I knew you weren't there, we broke into your apartment to scare you. And what do we find – you're not there! I got really mad and so we trashed your place. Did you like the note we left on the hamster aquarium? Sick, huh?"

"Then I couldn't pick up the blackmail money," he continued. "I followed Joe that morning from the house to the station parking lot and I knew the blackmail threats had been leaked to the cops. So I got mad and the next day I borrowed Tina's mother's car and Alex and I went to the courthouse. We saw Joe outside the courthouse and then we saw you come out. And Alex drove down the street and I tried to shoot you. But it's hard to shoot someone from a moving vehicle, so Alex and I staked out your place. We finally got lucky and saw you go into your apartment on Friday. And we saw you come out. So we shot you. We didn't mean to hit Joe. We just meant to hit you. Joe was a lucky accident."

"So let me get this straight," I asked, "it didn't really matter whether I looked for you or not. I was targeted because I am Joe's girlfriend? You are doing this because of some stupid sibling rivalry?"

"Yes, although you looking for me just made me angrier." Mario sounded angry now. And he was starting to sound a bit desperate.

"So what will you do now? Are you going to shoot me? Are you leaving my body here? Are you taking me with you? How have you planned this out?"

"I will shoot you here. And I will leave your body for Joe to find in the morning."

"Are you leaving a note for him to find so he knows why I was shot?"

"That's a good idea. I'll write a note after I shoot you."

"You may want to write a note beforehand. Joe will hear the shot and come running down the stairs. You won't have time to write the note afterwards." In actuality, I didn't care about the note. I just wanted to give Ranger and Morelli some time to hopefully get into place. "There's paper in the living room", I said. I started to leave Bob's side and move towards Mario, towards the hall, at the same time as Ranger and Morelli moved into the doorway, guns aimed at Mario.

"Drop your weapon", Joe said. "This has gone on long enough. You don't have to hurt Stephanie. This isn't the way to do things, Mario. Put your gun down."

Mario reached forward and grabbed me by my shirt. He threw me in front of himself with one hand and, gun trained on Joe with the other, started to back out from the room. "Put your guns down and I will let her go when I am free", he said. Yeah, right. I heard what he said and knew he wanted to kill me to hurt Joe. And Joe didn't deserve to get hurt. I started to fight. I clawed at the arm holding my chest and stomped down on his instep. I took my foot and kicked back at his knee with enough force to get him to loosen his hold on me. I then turned around in his arms and tried to poke my fingers in his eyes. This diverted him enough that he wasn't paying any attention to his gun hand. Morelli kept his gun trained on Mario while Ranger closed in, removed the gun and cuffed him.

The house swarmed with cops, taking statements from Ranger, Joe and myself. Ranger and Joe had heard everything Mario had told me. Apparently I wasn't as silent coming down the stairs to go to the kitchen as I had thought I was and they both had been on their way to see if I needed help when they heard me start talking. While Joe did his cop thing, Ranger retrieved that long-awaited pain pill and a glass of water for me. "How are you feeling?" he said.

"Shaky. I'm used to thinking my job is dangerous. I'm not exactly comfortable with it, but I'm used to it. So I'm having a hard time getting accustomed to the idea it was my association with Joe that got me targeted rather than my job. And I am also reeling from knowing Grandma Bella was giving information to Mario, that she was helping Mario out in targeting me. I knew she didn't like me, but this is beyond what I had ever thought she would do."

"Yeah, but she wasn't doing it on purpose. I don't think she knew she was helping Mario out by telling him all those things. And I don't think she would purposely try to hurt you, curses aside. Morelli's a good man, Babe. Don't get scared off him because of a silly old woman who loves the drama associated with giving people the eye. You shouldn't pay any attention to her."

The house slowly emptied of police. When everyone was gone Ranger stood up. He leaned over and rubbed Bob behind his ears and under his chin. Bob thumped his tail on the floor and closed his eyes in bliss. "I'm going back to my place tonight. You don't need me around any longer. I will leave my car for you, Babe. I'll catch a ride with Hal – he's waiting outside. Return it when you buy a new one." He came over and gave me a set of keys, kissed me, picked up his stuff and was gone.

"How are you doing?" I asked Morelli.

"I've been better. I put you in danger. I didn't know I was doing it, but I put you in danger. And I may never forgive myself for that."

"Don't worry about it. I put myself in danger all the time."

"I know. And that makes me angry. I hate it when you put yourself in danger. I used to think it was your job, but over time I have started to think it's just you. That danger follows you around. You don't try to get in trouble, but you do. And it doesn't matter. You could leave your job and even be a stay-at-home mother, but danger would still follow you around. I have trouble accepting that. Sometimes I think about what it would be like to have children with you and I wonder how I would cope with having a wife who always gets herself into trouble.

"I've started to think of myself as the safe one. Sure, I am a cop and that's a profession that can be fraught with danger. And I have a wild past. But compared with your life, I'm the safe one. I'm not always falling down and landing in doggy doo-doo."

"Hey, that only happened once!" I interrupted.

"You know what I mean." He paused. Then he said quietly "But this time, this time it was different. This time was my fault." He reached over and pulled me onto his lap, burying his head into my shoulder. "Will you forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive. You did nothing wrong. This was all Mario's fault. You didn't tell him to do any of this. And you would have helped him if you could have, if you were given the chance. You know what Ranger said before he left? He said you are a good man. And he is right. You are a good man. And I am proud to have you as my boyfriend." I was rubbing his back and that was giving me ideas. And judging by Morelli's eyes, it was giving him ideas, too. I gave him a kiss and when our tongues touched we decided we should go upstairs. By the time Morelli had helped me to the top of the stairs we had discarded all our clothing.

Chapter Twenty-Five

I was once again wearing my court suit, a cream tank top and, in concession to my healing leg, a pair of black flats. I was back at Morelli's house, sharing a pizza with him and Bob. We were talking about Roberto Mendez's trial. "He was judged guilty, just like we knew he would", I said. "But his overtime at the button factory was taken into consideration. He paid back the entire cost of the vests, so the judge said extenuating circumstances were present, that grief played a big part of the theft. When it came to sentencing she said since he had paid back the entire cost of the vests, he could now do what he wanted with them. And she ordered him to go for grief counselling. She didn't give him any jail time and, in fact, didn't even order any community service. Just counselling. I was so happy for him. He honestly seems like a really nice guy."

"Scuttlebutt at the precinct says he is donating the vests to the force. The uniforms are ecstatic. Many of our existing vests already have bullet holes in them."

As we were sitting in the kitchen eating dinner, we heard a car door slam, footsteps on the porch, the front door opening and a "yoo-hoo" being called from the door. "We're in the kitchen", Joe yelled. His mother and grandmother came back to us, carrying a covered dish of lasagne.

"My mother has something she wants to say to you", said Mrs. Morelli.

Grandma Bella looked at me for a moment. "I say you good girl. Joseph good boy. Mario bad boy. I remove curse on you" and she touched her finger to her eye.

"And what else do you need to say to Stephanie?" Mrs. Morelli prompted.

Grandma Bella shifted from one foot to the other and back again. "I'm sorry", she said.

I looked at her with my mouth hanging open. Grandma Bella turned around and hurried back out the front door, leaving Mrs. Morelli to follow behind.

A silence filled the room after the two women left. "I don't think I've ever heard her say that before", Morelli said, amazed. "See, I told you I'm her favourite grandchild!"