Thank you all for your reviews and favoriting my story. ^^ Not getting a ton of feedback, but I think unless someone tells me that it's absolutely horrible, I'm assuming it's a decent story so far. In the scene following (which starts off in L's POV, in case you were wondering) I'm not sure I depicted his emotions right, if they weren't enough or too much, although when I was editing I couldn't figure out how to fix it, and after thinking about it, this is how I thought L would deal with something like this. As usual, review and/or favorite (although I would love to hear everyone's opinions on how the story is coming together).

They Comfort Me (Not)

Beyond sat by me on the couch, looking miserable. He had an expression on his face that was mixed with anger and pity. Daisuke was pacing behind us, glancing at me every so often before he began pacing again, whispering to himself. "Shit... Shit... Oh, God."

I fingered the cup of hot coffee Daisuke had put in my hands, as if that would somehow sooth me. I heard the beating of the rain on the roof and the ticking of the clock on the wall. It was strangely calming and I stared at the black TV screen blankly, trying to keep myself together.

"Lawliet?" Beyond whispered, jolting out of my thoughts.

I knew what he wanted to say. I shook my head, closing my eyes. He wanted to hug me, tell me it would be okay.

I know it's not going to be okay. He's going to be there when I go back to work, and if no one else is there again when it's time to leave...

A whimper escaped me and I put a hand over my mouth, my eyes squeezing shut tighter. Beyond went to touch me, but I stood up. I pointed to the bathroom and rushed to the door, slamming the it shut behind me. I knelt down by the toilet and gagged until my breakfast came out, my eyes watering, more tears finally spilling over. I don't want to remember... I don't want to see him every time I close my eyes. I don't want to hear his voice or feel the how he drove into me. I'll die if I have to relive that, and even though it's over, I still feel it... I see him, I hear him.

I sobbed loudly, gripping the seat, squeezing my eyes shut again, shaking almost violently. "N-n-no!"

Beyond rushed in, coming to my side. He was silent, and even though he knew I wanted to be left alone, he hugged me with one arm, wiping the sweat from my face. I could practically see that he had the urge to utter those words that would make me snap - It's going to be okay - but he refrained from saying them. "I'm here, Lawliet... No one will hurt you now. I'm... I'm sorry." His voice cracked, but he still fought to be strong. Usually, he would let Daisuke be the strong and rational one, his rock, his support.

"No," I said hoarsely, before turning my head to empty whatever was left in my stomach. I tasted only acid and it burned my throat so much that I stopped trying to talk at all.

When I finished, I collapsed on the bathroom floor against my twin, clinging to his shirt. He stayed with me and held me until I was too tired to keep my eyes open anymore.

I don't remember moving, but when I woke up very early the next morning, I heard the soft ticking of the clock next to my bed. My eyes felt very wet, and like they were glued shut. I don't know how long I lay there, listening to the near absolute silence, but when I cracked my eyes open, I saw that it was almost three. That meant the sun wouldn't rise for a few hours yet and my room was pitch black. It made me glad, or... Some dull, unenthusiastic form of it. I didn't want to see anything at all. The blackness was comforting and I reveled in it.

I hugged my pillow, pressing my face against it as I stretched my legs, but felt someone in the bed with me. I gasped and sat up quickly, reaching for anything to hit Tatsuya in the bed next to me...

"It's okay Lawli. It's just me," my twin said gently.

His outline in the darkness was clearer now. I breathed shakily, sinking back into the mattress, my limbs trembling. Beyond watched me for a moment, before he put a hand on my head. "It's okay," he whispered again, hugging me.

I opened my mouth to say "no," but nothing came out. It was like my throat was closed up; I couldn't utter a word. I sniffed, pulling the blankets over my head.

Beyond set my breakfast in front of me in the bed later on, giving me a small smile. "I called Raito-kun for you... He was blowing up your phone and I explained why you weren't there."

I grabbed the front of his shirt, my eyes wide. No! He'll be disgusted with me! He hates me now, he won't ever look at me the same again... He'll get me fired or... I started to shake at the other desperate ideas going through my mind.

"No, no, it's okay. I-I lied. You didn't let me finish. I told him you were very sick and you would be back when you were... Better..."

I calmed down slightly, looking off into space. That was good, at least... But... Better? Was he taking only about my fake illness or my mental and emotional state now?

I let go of my brother and looked down at my food. It didn't look or smell appetizing. Even if it was my favorite, I probably still wouldn't eat it. "Won't you take a bite at least?" Beyond said hopefully, smiling a bit.

I shook my head and pushed the plate away. I saw my twin pout at me out of the corner of my eye but I didn't give in. Maybe something really was wrong with me now. Could something like... that... really mess up my mental state? It wasn't really different from what I did with Raito every day... So what exactly made it so different?

I shivered, pulling the sheets up to my chin. Raito knew what I liked, and even though we never really got along as friends... He always gave me pleasure. But Tatsuya... he just wanted pleasure for himself. He didn't care if I liked it, didn't try to woo me into trusting him or find my weak spots. He just took me, like... like I was some kind of toy.

It was good that I didn't try to eat anything yet, because I made a bee line for the bathroom once more, coughing up stomach acid in the toilet.

I had only a week to recover, simply because I was called into work next Monday when Raito's father demanded that I grow up and come in. He told me to wear gloves and a face mask if I had to, but I absolutely had to come in, or else I would expect to be fired.

Beyond came in with me for emotional support. "Why don't you just tell them what happened? If they need proof, they can look at the videos and they'll fire him. You can't-"

"Goodbye, BB. See you at lunch," I said dismissively, my face completely blank of any emotion. I looked at my desk, feeling disgust in the pit of my stomach. If I could, I would have thrown it out the window. I swallowed thickly, grabbing some disinfectant cloths and started to scrub down the entire wood surface.

Beyond watched me for a moment before walking off with a dejected look on his face.

The reason I wouldn't ever tell anyone what happened is because they might find videos of me and Raito together. I would be so humiliated for us both. I can't do that to him, even if he does treat me like his personal slut.

After I was finished, Yagami-san came out and looked at me. "I thought you were ill. You look fine to me," he scoffed, as if he had wished me to be bent over the trash can. "No matter... get to work. You missed a lot and I expect you to make everything up by Wednesday."

I nodded, meaning to give him verbal response, but I saw him out of the corner of my eye, coming my way and my throat closed up again, fear consuming my mind.

Yagami-san walked away and I suddenly wished for him to stay there for a little longer. He could say cruel things to me, tell me I was weak and pathetic for letting something like the flu get me down and unable to work.

But he was gone and I was alone with him. If I managed to scream, would he come out immediately to see what was wrong?

He began to approach me with a mean smirk on his face, but someone else got to me first.