Waking slowly I kept my eyes closed and tried to concentrate on not groaning as my body felt painfully stiff and heavy and the echoes of the men I had ripped apart with my mind screamed through my head. Swallowing hard I fought the panic in my chest at the thought that when I opened my eyes it would have been for nothing and I was still a prisoner of one of Mortimer's associates or the organisation he worked for. Knowing I couldn't lay still forever, however, I opened my eyes and blinked in the early morning light at the ceiling above me. I recognised the off-white painted ceiling with its dark wood moulding as the ceiling of the room Logan and I shared at the Xavier Mansion. Heart pounding, I turned my head expecting to see Logan sitting beside the bed but instead saw Remy, his arms folded over his chest and his head laid back against the armchair he was sleeping in. Not wanting to wake him I laboriously pushed back the sheet and comforter that were covering me and sat on the edge of the bed. Pulling a small blanket over my shoulders I got up and walked toward the bedroom door. Keeping as quiet as I could I left the room and made my way through the halls of the mansion. The echoes of sadness and loss I felt as I walked through the huge house chilled me to the bone. I quickened my pace and was soon sprinting down the stairs and out to the gardens behind the mansion. Turning a corner I skidded to a halt at the sight of three marble headstones sitting in the middle of the rose garden; two were waist height while the other was taller than me.

Heart pounding I stepped around them and saw the names carved into them; Jean Grey, Scott Summers and Charles Xavier Father Teacher Leader.

My knees gave way and I collapsed as my whole world came crashing down. Reaching out a trembling hand I lay my palm on the face of Xavier's headstone, its small fire-bowl having been extinguished by the elements. I cried out as a wave of echoes slammed into my mind. I saw everything, from Scott disappearing, to Jean being reborn as the Phoenix and ripping the professor apart, Rogue leaving to take the cure, Jean working with Magneto and other mutants to kill those that had made the cure, the X-Men going into battle, and finally I saw Logan kill Jean and set her free.

I tried to pull away then, tears running down my cheeks and grief filling me; but the walls in my mind were down and I screamed in agony as the memories of those that had died at my hands flooded my mind. Shouting came from somewhere to my right and then hands grabbed me, dragging me away from the headstones. I held my head as more echoes filled it. Some were Storm's, and showed me that Logan was gone, he had chosen to leave thinking I was never going to wake up, and under those was the sight of Alkali Lake when she and Logan were sent there to find Scott. And then there were Remy's echoes, his pain at seeing me lying motionless and pale in my bed day after day, his anger at Logan for leaving and his anger at me for not waking up.

Sobbing, I pushed back the echoes long enough to open my eyes and see both Storm and Remy with tears in their eyes holding me where we sat on the grass in front of the headstones, Kitty, Piotr, and Bobby standing off to the side looking frightened. Breathing hard I shook my head my mind barely able to comprehend what had happened to my family, to the world while I was dead.

"I'm sorry," I gasped out looking up at Remy, "I'm sorry."

His jaw clenched and nostrils flared as he tried to keep his emotions in check before he dragged me into a tight, frantic hug, burying his face in my hair when he lost the battle to keep from crying openly.

Numbly I closed my eyes and desperately reached out with my mind to Logan trying to connect to him, but his mind was closed off from me and I flinched back into Remy's hold as despair settled like a heavy knot in the pit of my stomach.

"Let's get you back inside, okay?" Storm murmured breaking the silence around us.

Wordlessly I allowed her and Remy to help me to my feet, my legs barely working enough to help them. Remy then swung me up into his arms and carried me back to my room as Storm settled the students and teachers that had awoken at my screaming and got them all back to their rooms.

Once in bed again I curled into a ball, Logan's pillow hugged to my chest, "Where did he go?" I asked Remy, my eyes dry from tears but my heart heavy.

The tall mutant ran a hand through his long messy hair, "He didn't say, cheri, just up and left one day without a word."

"How long was I gone for?" I asked after a moment or two of heavy silence.

Remy turned his haunted red-rimmed irises to my face and I winced at the pain I saw there, "You been dead for seven months. Even Remy thought you was gone for good."

"I'm sorry," I whispered again.

He got up from the armchair and sat on the edge of the bed beside me, "We been wounded, amore. The school's lost so much and we're barely livin' as it is. You don't do that again, y'hear? You leave and we'll lose everything. The world's changed, cheri, 'nd Remy don't know what's gonna happen."

Nodding silently I reached out and squeezed his hand gently, "I know what I have to do, Remy." At his questioning look I sighed, "I need you to take me back to where the Professor died. I-I think I can bring him back."

That's the end for this installment of Echoes and Memories. However, I will be continuing on with Jenna and Logan's story at a later date in Echoes and Memories Book Two. Thank you to all my faithful readers for your support. Any questions or comments please PM me - Dust motes in sunlight