In the very bottom of Nitori's very deepest pocket, she had hidden a neatly-folded love letter.

Her pockets also held a complete wrench set, a folding knife, an electric flashlight, two homemade hand grenades, a screwdriver, the near-complete blueprints for a helicopter, a coin purse, a few loose bolts and bits of wiring, and a flask of water. Her backpack was even worse, overstuffed with ammunition, gadgets, and knickknacks to the point that she'd needed to reinforce the straps. Despite all of those, the letter felt like it was the heaviest by far. She could feel it weighing her down as she made her way down a narrow path along the riverbank.

The letter began, "So, hey, Marisa, I know I'm not the best at this kind of thing, but..." It was her fifth attempt at writing it, and like everything else she'd ever made, its construction was deliberate and methodical. She'd stared at it for hours over the past few weeks, striking out unwanted lines with mechanical precision and analyzing every word that remained. Rinnosuke had sold her a stack of magazines from the outside world, full of articles about dating. One of them claimed to have foolproof techniques for writing love letters, and she'd followed its advice meticulously. There was a tiny heart after her signature. It was the letter that was going to make her entire life beautiful.

Or, so she hoped. She was figuring this all out as she went. Kappa society wasn't big on romance. No need for it, when you reproduced through clutches of eggs that might sit for days before being fertilized. That sort of thing only got in the way. Over the decades, though, she'd found herself growing fond of the idea. Spending so much time around humans was probably rubbing off on her, but tengu manga had done its share. It certainly seemed to pass romance off as a pretty good deal. Like having a close friend, but sometimes you kissed and then laid around holding each other. It was the kind of arrangement that Nitori could get behind.

The pathway split in front of her, and Nitori turned up the fork that headed away from the river. She hurried now, but resisted the urge to activate her optical camouflage. Tip #11: Confidence is attractive. One of the articles had said that, and it seemed like a good tip to her. Marisa's confidence was one of the things that Nitori liked best about her. Even so, being far from water was never a relaxing experience for a kappa. If she got attacked, there was nowhere to hide.

The trip went smoothly, though, and Marisa's house soon came into view. Knocking on the door, she even found that Marisa was home, awake, and not busy—a rare combination. As she was led inside, she carefully weaved between the stacks of books lining the walls, and somehow managed to get to the living room without knocking anything over with her overstuffed backpack. Once she reached the couch, she had to slide it off, and it settled to the floor with a satisfying, wall-rattling thump.

"Pretty rare to see you this far from the river," Marisa said, as she fished a teapot out of a pile of books and half-finished magical experiments on the coffee table. "Runnin' errands?"

"A-ah, uh, no!" Nitori said, then reminded herself: Tip #11 and straightened her posture. "I'm just out enjoying the weather...!"

"Huh... I thought you guys hated sunny days?"

"... maybe a little," she admitted, and hurriedly searched for a change of subject. This was not how things had worked out in her head. She wracked her brain, trying to remember what the magazines had said about how to present your love letter, but their advice there had been less useful. Lots of talking about lockers. "Actually, Marisa, I've kind of got something I wanted to...!" Nitori trailed off mid-sentence, as she realized that Marisa had already walked out of the room, teapot in hand.

"Huh? You say something?" Marisa called back from the kitchen.

"I said your place is a mess!" It was the first thing that popped into her head, and while it was certainly true, she didn't think that it was going to win her any points.

She immediately backpedaled, trying to find a way to soften the comment, but Marisa beat her to the punch. "Yeah, I guess!" she said, as she carried the now-steaming teapot back into the room. "I like it this way, though. Everything where I want it. Plus it scares off anybody who'd want to steal from me. How do ya take your tea?"

Like anybody but you would want this junk, Nitori thought, but managed to only say, "Plain is fine! I'm not one of those wimps that needs sugar, y-y'know?" She laughed nervously at the end, just in time to notice Marisa dropping a small pile of sugar cubes into her own cup. Fuck fuck crap damn argh.

"Sugar's good for ya. Nice and thick. Helps gum up your digestion so you can get more nutrients and stuff outta your food. I read that in a book somewhere," Marisa said, and scooted Nitori's sugar-free cup of tea across the table. "There's yours."

"Th-thanks."

The two sat in silence as they drank, and Nitori tried to plan a second attempt to present the love letter. She'd assumed that it wasn't going to be that difficult. Human teenagers seemed to accomplish it on a regular basis, and she was certainly better than any human. Maybe that's how she could explain things. Nitori was obviously superior to any other romantic option that Marisa might have in mind, and it wasn't a bad deal for Nitori, either. Marisa was pretty great for a human. She spent her entire time making things, she was a lot smarter than she acted, and she was pretty strong, too. She was practically an honorary kappa like that, and there were some other bonuses too. When she was outside, her hair caught the sunlight and looked like a glowing golden halo around her head. She knew all the best spots in Gensokyo, and as much as Nitori resented being dragged away from home sometimes, spending time with Marisa was never boring.

… but putting all of that into words seemed kind of hard. As casually as she could, Nitori slid one hand down to the line of pockets along the bottom of her dress and slipped the letter into her palm. "So! Uh. You know, it's not a big deal or anything, but I've got this letter..."

"Huh. One of the ones from Remilia?"

"... eh?"

"For her whole... summer ball thing. She's been sending 'em to everyone. Reimu got three, even."

"O-oh! Those things!" Nitori had no idea what she was talking about, but it seemed best to go along with it.

"... so wait, did she send ya one after all? The last I heard, she said kappa smelled like fish and she didn't want 'em stinking up the place."

… it suddenly seemed like a bad time to present the love letter. Nitori shoved it back down into her pocket, and tried not to wince as it crumpled under the force. "Yep! That's the one."

"Huh."

Nitori fidgeted in silence, and considered what to make of this new development. Balls were those things where humans danced a lot, right? Dances were supposed to be romantic. Tip #4: Sweep him off his feet on the dance floor. … all of the advice in that article was about dating guys, but Nitori didn't think it mattered much. A human was a human. "... are you planning to go?"

"Nah." Marisa looked up toward the ceiling, swishing her tea thoughtfully. Even from this distance, Nitori could see the undissolved sugar floating on top of it. "I mean, I'd like to. There's usually tons of free booze, and the food is pretty good too. Buuuuut, Remi said I'm not allowed back after last time I visited. Some furniture got set on fire," she waved a hand in the air vaguely, "it turned into this whole thing."

"Huh... Well..." Nitori had just had the most brilliant idea of her life, probably. "You could be my date? I mean! You know, just as a favor for a friend, s-so you can get in! She can't throw you out if you're with an invited guest, right?"

"... heeeeeey, yeah! You'd really do that, though? Remi'll probably be pissed when she finds out."

"Ehe, sure," Nitori said, already second-guessing herself. "What are friends for?"

Okay, so. She had invited Marisa as her date, to a ball that neither of them were actually invited to. She'd never been to a ball before, and upon further investigation, found that the none of the magazines actually contained instructions for how to Sweep Him Off His Feet On The Dance Floor. She didn't have any dresses that were both formal enough for a dance and free from oil stains. And apparently Remilia says I smell like fish, what the heck, but that could wait. It was still a date! A kind-of date. Even if Marisa was mostly just looking for a way to get in, it was still basically, on some level, a date.

Once she got home, she retrieved a pen and paper from her backpack and constructed a to-do list:
1. Rewrite love letter.

2. Find a new dress.

3. Forge an invitation.

4. Learn how to dance.

Number one was easy, and she did it within an hour. For number three, she briefly considered stealing somebody's invitation and copying it, but that seemed pretty difficult. Instead, she decided to improvise. She spent hours drafting a fake invitation, her perfectionist urges forcing her to redraw it half a dozen times until the filigree around the edges was perfect. When it was finished, she sent it to the tengu printing houses for that extra air of legitimacy. It might not look like the others, but she'd figure out how to deal with that when it came up.

Numbers two and four, though, were a bit more difficult. In an outside world encyclopedia in Kourindou, she was able to find a picture of a ball gown. It definitely wasn't the kind of thing that was sold in the human village. She ended up commissioning it from Alice. The dollmaker's eyes had lit up when she saw the picture of the gown. It wasn't enough to get her to lower her commission prices, but Nitori felt like it was a good sign.

Learning how to dance, though, was the hard part. She squinted at Tip #4 for hours, trying to tease out its secrets, but it remained inscrutable. Kourindou didn't have any books on the subject. She took a walk up the mountainside one day to ask Sanae, and the shrine maiden had seemed just as hopeless with the subject as she was.

When the day of the ball came, Nitori's checklist still only had three of its four items crossed out, but she'd exhausted her resources. Too nervous to do anything else, she spent half the afternoon putting on the dress and memorizing tips from the dating magazines, then headed out for the mansion.

Nitori and Marisa had arranged to meet near Misty Lake, right at the spot where the path dipped down closer to the lake's shore. With the mist lowering visibility and the safety of the lake nearby, Nitori felt safe there. It was a good thing, because she was otherwise freaking out. The dress that Alice had made for her was huge, a sprawling, silky, pastel blue affair, covered in little embroidered roses. When she'd looked at her reflection in the dollmaker's workshop, her first thought had been I look like a fancy cake. That part, she could get used to. It seemed to be the intended effect, and when she had her hair down, she had to admit that it made her look pretty nice.

The worse part was that the dress had no pockets. Apparently that was how humans made a lot of their clothes. It was almost enough to make her have second thoughts about Marisa. What kind of messed-up species would think clothes with no pockets was a good idea? She'd compensated for this glaring shortcoming by bringing a satchel. Usually, it stored her supplies for demolition jobs. No matter how hard she had washed it, it still smelled like gunpowder, but she wasn't too worried about it. Maybe it will hide the fish smell, she thought bitterly, as she double-checked the contents. She'd brought several kilograms of supplies, just in case. Never knew when you were going to need to fix a generator or booby trap a bridge, after all. The most important of the bag's contents, though, was the love letter. The newly-drafted version of it was folded in one of the tiny side pouches. She obsessively prodded at it every now and then, reassuring herself that she hadn't forgotten it at home.

She had been waiting for about ten minutes when she saw Marisa descending the path toward the lake. At first, she was just a silhouette, but as she drew nearer and the details became more obvious, Nitori's stomach sank. Compared to her own outfit, Marisa's was distinctly... non-frilly. It was actually just a variation of her normal dress. One of her nicer ones, with fewer stains than usual, but still. She was even wearing the apron. The apron had pockets, Nitori noticed jealously. "Yo~!" Marisa shouted. When she got close enough for them to see each other clearly through the fog, she froze. "Oh, jeez. You could hide a house in that thing."

"Aah, um, yeah, I guess so! … do you think I should change?"

"Huh? No. I mean, it's pretty. It's all..." Marisa waved her hands in front of herself, miming a circle at the gown. "Poofy and shit. In a good way! Like those little fish that puff up to scare off things that wanna eat 'em, you know?"

It still wasn't the effect that Nitori had been going for, but she'd take it. "Y-yeah, sure! … you look nice too."

"... this is literally just my normal clothes, though."

"I... guess it is, huh?! Ehehe." Nitori chuckled nervously, trying to pass it off like she hadn't noticed until Marisa had pointed it out. "But. Y-you always look nice?" Tip #15: Make him feel like the sexiest guy in the room.

"Oh, damn. Can't argue that!" Judging by Marisa's grin, that was a save. Stepping closer, she looked up the hill toward the Scarlet Devil Mansion, then held out an arm. "Alright, we're gonna need to really sell the datin' thing if I'm gonna get in."

"Right, right, yeah." Nitori still reached out slowly, like she was trying to grab a snake, until her fingers brushed against Marisa's. That provided a spark that made her hurry up, and she grabbed Marisa's hand.

Sell the dating thing... she told herself, as they walked toward the mansion. Sell the dating thing. It seemed like it should be simple. She would have liked to have called this a date in the first place, but wasn't sure what she could do to make it feel more date-like. #22: Knock the wind out of him with a kiss? Easier said than done. #2: Touch him in all the right places? She didn't really want to touch any of Marisa's places like that.

The outer gate of the Scarlet Devil Mansion already had a small crowd gathered around it. On the other side, Nitori could see Meiling's distinctive red hair, as the gate guard screened the guests one by one. Well. Crap. She'd been hoping for a gullible fairy maid or something.

She rummaged in her satchel and pulled her forged invitation out for an anxious final check. It definitely looked authoritative. Once the pair moved to the front of the line, she offered it up, and Meiling frowned over it. "This doesn't look like the others."

"I-it's a special one!" Nitori said.

"Huh..."

When Meiling still seemed hesitant, Nitori pressed on. "Straight from Remilia herself! A gate guard like you probably wouldn't know anything about it."

Meiling frowned, then shook her head with a sigh and offered the invitation back. "She really should tell me about this kind of stuff..." Turning to Marisa, she said, "And where's yours?"

"Don't need one. I'm with her."

"... you two are dating?"

"Yep!" Marisa proclaimed, and held up their clasped hands. "Holdin' hands and everything."

"Hmm. Lady Remilia is pretty upset at you right now, though..."

"Yeah, but get this: we're super hardcore in love." Marisa held up their hands again.

"Super!" Nitori agreed.

"I don't know..."

In her panic, Nitori went with the first thing that came to her mind. Grabbing Marisa's sleeve with her free hand, she yanked the magician down, then mashed their lips together. She only maintained the kiss for a second or two, then turned her head to the side and loudly announced, "I-if you kick her out, I'm leaving too!"

"Oh, um!" The display had left Meiling with a heavy blush on her face, and she hurriedly waved the two in. "S-sure, sure, please, come in!"

Once the two were safely out of earshot, Marisa allowed herself to relax, grinning and releasing her grip on Nitori's hand. "Jeez, that was pretty quick thinkin' with the kiss!" she said, giving Nitori a slap on the back. "Meiling really bought it, huh?"

"Yeah, for a youkai, she's pretty easily fooled." Nitori said, while wishing she could melt into the floor and disappear. So much for Tip #22. Still, even if it hadn't seemed to leave much impression on Marisa, at least she'd gotten a kiss with her. It was a start, right?

Fairy maids positioned through the mansion guided the guests toward the ballroom, and the two walked in silence for the rest of the trip. By the time they were close, Nitori could already hear the music. At the end of a long hallway, decorated even more garishly than the others, two more maids waited by a pair of double doors. They curtsied and swung them open as the two approached, and Nitori and Marisa stepped into the ballroom.

Like usual, it looked like the Scarlet Devil Mansion had spared no expense when it came to grandeur. The chandeliers overhead flooded the room with warm light, the walls were draped in banners, and one entire end of the room had been dedicated to overladen banquet tables. The crowd of humans and youkai who already filled the room wore an eclectic mix of outfits, but Nitori was pleased to note that several of them had dresses like her own. At the far end, the Prismriver sisters were putting on a performance that filled the room with soft music, and several pairs had already formed up for dancing. Through it all, fairy maids drifted around with trays of food and drink.

These seemed to be Marisa's first concern. One came close, bearing a tray that held a few bottles of wine surrounded by glasses. Before the maid could protest, Marisa grabbed a bottle in each hand. One quickly disappeared under her clothes, while she took a long drink from the other and offered it over to Nitori. "More people here than I thought. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, youkai go nuts for parties." Already, she was drifting toward the food tables.

Nitori took a sip from the wine and glanced toward the dance floor. That was what she was here for, right? But how was she supposed to make it happen? The appropriate thing to do, she guessed, was ask straight-up. That was uncomfortably direct, though. "Hey, Marisa, nobody will believe we're dating if we don't dance", maybe?

Before she could decide on an approach, Marisa reached the buffet table, then made a beeline for a plate of tiny chocolates. Four or five of them disappeared into her mouth in quick succession. "Not gonna eat?" she asked, looking back to Nitori. "Kind of a waste to come here and just follow me around all night, don't you think?" To prove her point, she tossed a chocolate back over her shoulder.

The airborne confectionary caught Nitori off-guard, and she had to nearly dive to the floor to catch it. It was a good thing she didn't, because if she fell down in this dress, she wasn't sure how she was supposed to get back up. She popped the candy in her mouth, and immediately cringed. Most human and youkai snacks were way, way too sweet for kappa tastebuds. There were some promising-looking cheeses at the other end of the table, though. Much closer to the saltier sorts of food that she preferred. Coughing as she swallowed the last of the syrupy-sweet chocolate, she said, "Yeah, okay. But stay put! I want to ask you something after I eat!"

"Huh? Sure, alright."

Nitori set off toward the cheeses, her skirt swishing on the floor around her, and tried to plan out the rest of the night. Having a plan was important. Planning and organization was what set the youkai of Youkai Mountain above their counterparts on the plains, naturally. So. They'd spend another twenty minutes or so at the food tables, until Marisa was satisfied. She'd ask Marisa to dance. Once they'd danced for a while and things were suitably romantic, they could go stand on a balcony or something, and Nitori could give Marisa the note. Wait, no, scratch that—it would be too dark outside to read the note by then. They'd retire to a quieter part of the mansion instead, then she'd do it. Afterward, they'd kiss, or... whatever it was that you did after you started dating. Judging by manga, it mostly consisted of looking soulfully at each other under trees. She felt like she could manage that.

It was the perfect plan, but before she could get any further in step one, a hand came to rest on her shoulder. "Excuse me. Could I see your invitation?" the unmistakable voice of Sakuya Izayoi said from behind her.

"H-huh? Um?" Nitori turned around, both hands fussing nervously with the strap of her satchel. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Your invitation. I'd like to see it."

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't have one, right?"

"Yes, and that's a problem. I know that you and Marisa weren't on the guest list. If one was sent out in error, I'd like to know who was responsible." Sakuya held out a hand expectantly. "Invitation, please?"

"What are you hassling me for?! Your gate guard's the one who's letting people in, go bother her if we're not supposed to be here!"

"Invitation. Please." Sakuya did not sound like she intended to ask another time.

Past the maid, Nitori could see Marisa watching the scene in mild confusion. She had a few options here. If she handed over the obviously-forged invitation, it would probably end in a duel with Sakuya. She'd lose, get humiliated in front of Marisa, and the pair would get kicked out. She could try coming up with a lie about who had given her the forged invitation, but lying had never really been her strong point. When in doubt, a kappa's first instinct was to run and hide, but she hadn't exactly been able to find formalwear with optical camouflage. Although...

"R-right, jeez, hold on. I have it in here somewhere." Nitori pushed a hand into her satchel and started searching. Her fingers ran over the contents blindly, until they closed in around a familiar shape. It was a bit clumsy with one hand, but she was just able to grasp the pin between two fingers and yank it out.

"Well?"

Five... four... three... Nitori counted down in her head, and then flung the grenade into the air, squeezed her eyes closed, and leapt forward in a single motion. The grenade had barely left her hand when it detonated in a solid pop of combustion. The room was flooded with brilliant white light, and shouts of surprise drowned out the music. Even facing away from it, Nitori saw the entire world fade into a featureless white void, but she'd done her best to memorize the layout of the room before she took off running. Her vision was still blank by the time she reached Marisa, but she grabbed a handful of clothing and shouted, "Let's go!"