Author's Note: Hello my fellow Fanrats! Man, it sure is nice to step out of my beloved fandom and embrace the new. Know what I'm saying? Of course you do. You're all geniuses. So, this is my first, "How to Train Your Dragon" story, so naturally, I'm extremely nervous about what people say about it. When I first entered the fandom, I was surprised to see how little stories there were about teenage pregnancy. So, being the sadistic Fanrat that I am, I decided to take on the challenge myself. Anyway, I hope you enjoy reading this.

Summary: When Snotlout's jealousy begins to take on an obsession, he formulates a plan that was supposed to end Hiccup's relationship with Astrid. But when things go too far, the newly-found couple will now have to worry about becoming teenage parents.

Rated T for safety.

Note: Don't worry, there are no such thing as swear words in my world.

Disclaimer: I do not own the "How to Train Your Dragon" franchise, no matter how many times I put it on my Christmas wish list. Curse you Santa...

...

Snotlout could only watch in lucid shock as his life-time crush tugged his scrawny cousin close so that their lips locked. He felt himself stiffen, his hands unconsciously tightening around the coarse horns of his dragon, whom he had decided to call Hookfang. Nothing could be done, nothing could be said, so he watched helplessly as his cousin's emerald eyes lowered to a half-lidded stance, and he mumbled something that Snotlout couldn't pick up on. Whatever it was, it could not dulcify the upsurge of jealousy that now stuffed him to the core. His face burned with an intense embarrassment at the fact that he, one of the strongest teen Vikings on Berk, had been upstaged by Hiccup, his less-than-mediocre cousin. Never mind that he had taken down a monster a mere two weeks before.

So what in Thor's name just happened?! Astrid couldn't have honestly fallen for that...that fishbone of a Viking! Fearless Astrid Hofferson, the one who personified the term "Viking" in every way possible, couldn't have just subjected herself to kiss someone who was too far mundane. She stood at five feet and five inches with her slender form harvesting pounds of lean muscle. Hiccup was indeed her opposite, standing at five-foot-four with his lanky, clumsy body had nothing Viking-ly to brag about. So why would she even bother with him? The audacity!

It was safe to say that Snotlout was bewildered. His chest tightened. It was ridiculous; this WHOLE situation-was ridiculous. So what if Hiccup had defeated the Red Death? No battle on Berk could successfully alter his authenticity. And with one less leg, he remained a scrawny, weak little runt, just as he had always been.

So why the sudden informality on Astrid's part? This was the girl who bashed Snotlout for merely looking at her in a flirtatious manner. It wasn't fair.

Snotlout glowered at his star-struck cousin for only a moment longer before he growled and spurned. "Let's go Hookfang," he huffed, turning his nose in the air. "I've got better things to do than hang around and watch these idiots."

But the Monstrous Nightmare seemed to have other plans. Snorting out a cloud of ash in defiance, he unceremoniously bucked the offending hulk of a boy off of his scaly backside. Snotlout cried out as he landed hard in the dirt, tremors of pain shooting up his spine. "Hookfang! Look who you're hurting, you stupid lizard!" He snarled before gingerly hauling himself up. The scarlet reptile let out a throaty hiss that sounded suspiciously close to human snickering before darting away, smugly illuminating himself in flame.

Upon the assumption that nobody had witnessed his recent pratfall, (being much too preoccupied with the new hero of Berk) Snotlout lightly kicked at the grassy ground with his boot and scorned. "Stupid dragon. Can't even count on him to get me away from...that." He glanced back to Hiccup and the surrounding group of Vikings that were busy congratulating him on his victory, apologizing for their doubtfulness, and complimenting his bravery, strength, and persistence. The young male was admittedly bashful about the entirety of the praise, especially after the kiss. Snotlout sneered mockingly at his cousin's shy demeanor. If he was the hero, you bet he'd be soaking up said praise like a sea sponge. The now just seemed so out of place.

To cap his jaundice, Snotlout took to indifference. "Yada, yada," He scoffed inwardly, "Who cares that he ended the war?" He sighed. Alright, even HE understood the irrationality of that question, but anger seemed to dim his common sense a tad. "I was there too! I was on the Gods-forsaken thing, bashing its eye in with a shield!" He spluttered, "H-How cool was that? Doesn't that deserve a little attention?"

"Who're you talking to?" A young voice chirped, snapping him out of his thoughts. Snotlout glanced down and groaned. Gustav.

"Myself."

"...Oh. Well, I'm off to go see Hiccup! That guy's gotta be some sorta mortal relative of Freya if he can survive an explosion that big! See ya, Snotlout!" One wave later and the much younger Viking was up the hill in an instant to join his place in the crowd.

Silence. Snotlout groaned and watched with annoyance as Hiccup and Astrid began to look eye-to-eye. "Apparently not," he muttered with contempt. "Idiots. They're just being polite because he lost a leg."

Just one more thing to be jealous of. After all, it was only cool if one got a scar out of it.

...

Snotlout was still exasperated that night; conspicuous enough that it caught the meticulous eye of a friend.

"You seem quiet tonight," Fishlegs pointedly announced over the noisy chatter of everyone present. Namely, all of the villagers. They were gathered in the Great Hall for a celebratory dinner of the awakening of their new favorite tribe member, eager to see or even speak with him. Most of the teenagers had settled at an empty table near the corner of the hall after receiving a plentiful leg of mutton and quality chicken broth, which was a much larger portion than they usually received. The Dark Ages were rough on the stomach. "Lighten up. We finally got rid of that terrifying monster and Hiccup survived a ball of fire the size of Midgard! Try to enjoy yourself for once. I mean, have you tasted this mutton?" The husky boy asked pleasantly, taking a hearty bite of his food.

"Pfft." Snotlout picked at his leg of mutton with disinterest. "Whatever."

The male Thortsen twin seated across from the gloomy boy noticed his unhappy expression and took immediate advantage over the situation. "Heh. Looks like Snotlout's jelly," Tuffnut snickered before taking a huge bite out of his leg of mutton. "Sorry sucker," the blonde mumbled through a mouthful of food. "Can't all be heroes, huh?"

Tuffnut's twin sister, Ruffnut, cackled under her breath and gave her twin brother an enthusiastic high-five. "True that."

"Shuddup," Snotlout growled in annoyance. "And don't say jelly, it's degrading." He paused, taking a moment or two to think. "...Wait, who thinks I'm jealous?" he asked suddenly. He shot an extremely intimidating glare at the other male, who picked up on the danger signal and shrugged nonchalantly.

"Anyone. With a brain. Hiccup," Tuffnut suggested with a smirk. "Astrid too...and Butt-elf, here," He gestured to his sister, who punched him roughly.

"Good, I've got a brain," she hissed. "Unlike you."

"OW! ...Uh, and then there's Bucket," Tuffnut continued while tenderly rubbing his shoulder, "Mulch. Chief. Your dad. Uh..." He paused, watching as the other boy's glare grew more heated with each passing name, but continued nonetheless. "Oh, and then there's Phlegma...Gustav...Gobber...Ack...Fishlegs..."

Snotlout threw Fishlegs a scary look, and the larger boy stiffened. "Hey, don't look at me," he sputtered, twiddling his fingers. "It's probably just envy! Yeah, that's it! You're envious. Envy and jealousy mean two different-...Oh. Then, in that case..."

"Envy AND jealousy?! Well, now we KNOW that everyone knows!" Ruffnut sniggered nastily at Snotlout's cherry-red face.

"Who cares?" He dismissed, staring at his plate in distaste. "I don't care! I don't! Who said I did?!"

Fishlegs bit his lip. "You're being really defensive, 'Lout..."

"NO I'm NOT! Besides, just because Hiccup defeated the Red Death doesn't mean that he isn't the little dork that he was before."

Fishleg's eyes widened at Snotlout's words. "Whoa," Tuffnut exclaimed in surprise, raising his eyebrows. "You ARE jelly! Or was it envy...?"

"Neither!" The boy denied with a shout, shoving his untouched plate of food away in anger. "I'm outta here. I've got better things to do than sit and eat with you losers!"

"Like what?" Tuffnut asked with a smirk. He rested a chin on his palm. "Kiss your biceps? Because you'll never kiss Astrid, now that she's with the Hiccster, that's for sure."

Snotlout turned to fire back a smart retort, but his jumbled thoughts fell rather flat. Hiccster? Nobody bothered to stop the teenager as he stomped out of the bustling Great Hall, growling and cursing all the way, his face pinker than a rose.

Fishlegs, who had been tensed during the entirety of Snotlout's presence, let out an exhale as soon as the large doors shut behind the infuriated teen. "Wow. I have NEVER seen Snotlout so upset, and that's saying something, huh guys?" He paused. "...Uh, guys?" The twins were hardly listening, readily preoccupied with another session of sibling bickering over the definitions of envy and jealousy. The rather heavy-set boy sighed and stared at his food. "I just hope he doesn't take it out on Hiccup. The last thing he needs is-"

He looked up with a start, realizing something. "Hey, where is Hiccup? And Astrid for that matter?"

...

"Stupid Tuffnut," Snotlout muttered under his breath as he stomped through the village plaza, still infuriated over the whole predicament. "Stupid Fishlegs. I'm not jealous. I'm NOT!"

"Sure you are," a voice in the back of mind casually snickered.

Snotlout gritted his teeth. "No, I'm not," he insisted to himself, kicking at a small pail as he trudged through the village. It was a clear night, not a cloud in the sky, providing a beautiful view of the full moon. Shame that he couldn't enjoy it.

"I've never been jealous of Hiccup and I'll never be jealous of Hiccup," he repeated to himself. What was this? Release? Reassurance? He wasn't certain. "The only time where I would ever be even remotely envious of him would be because of... Astrid."

Astrid. Divine beauty. He sighed dreamily, nearing the forge where Gobber and Hiccup worked, reminding him of his situation. "How in the Gods' names did he one-up me like that?" He shuddered. It felt so wrong to even think that Hiccup could do such a thing... His eyes narrowed to slits. Because of him, he and Astrid would most likely never end up together. Because of him, she now had her attention centered on a runt.

"-...strid?"

Snotlout froze, and then frowned. Was that Hiccup? He stilled, listening intently until the muffled voice reached his ears. Oh, what was he saying? Of course it was! He knew that nasally drone anywhere. It sounded like it was coming from the Forge.

With remarkable stealth, the young teen quietly neared the small building. If he squinted, he could make out small rays of light emerging from the teeny cracks of the wooden walls coming from the inside. Pressing his ear against said walls, he could just make out the sound of his cousin's voice and... Astrid's.

Normally he wouldn't dare sneak up on the two because of Hiccup's pet dragon, Toothless, who'd sniff him out in a minute. But oddly enough, Hiccup had left his dragon back at home. Two guesses why.

"Hmph." He gritted his teeth and unconsciously clenched his fists. "Of course that weirdo would ditch his own celebration." He remained silent, trying to make out with they were saying, but unfortunately couldn't. With a heavy exhale of infuriation, he leaned back against the wall and gazed up at the sky.

"Why him?" He wondered silently for the hundredth time, crossing his muscular arms. "Why couldn't it have been me? Why not? I mean, I'm not a reader but I've got the brawn- something he doesn't have!" He smirked for a moment, considering for a moment.

"Heh, maybe I could teach him a lesson. Rough him up a bit." He frowned. "Nah. As much as I hate to say it, that's too predictable for me."

He bit the inside of his cheek as he pondered over what exactly he could do. "I've got to do something clever. Think. Think." He lightly tapped his iron helmet for emphasis. "What would someone like Hiccup do in this type of situation?" He snorted at the ridiculousness of comparing himself to his cousin. "Forget that. What would..." He trailed off. "What would Loki do?" He grinned at this concept. "He'd probably ruin their relationship." Oh, the thought of Astrid getting angry at Hiccup and leaving him.

But what would push her to the point of abandoning him? Snotlout wracked his brain for an idea-anything that could get Astrid upset at his cousin-anything at all! But at first, all he could think of was his cousin's scrawniness and vulnerability-things that Astrid herself didn't seem to mind. He grimaced.

There must be something about Hiccup that she wouldn't like. Maybe something he could do. Not appearance-wise, but action-wise. And then, in that moment of unfiltered jealousy, the plan came to him. He knew exactly what would push her over the edge, what would make her hate Hiccup forever.

"Oh no, this is too good," he whispered, turning to look at the entrance of the Forge with a mischievous grin. Just the thought of his cousin without Astrid by his side made him squirm with delight. He made up his mind right then and there, that he'd go through with the plan. Sure, it was outrageously inappropriate and incredible risky, that was what being a Viking was all about, right?

...

"So, I haven't seen you here all that much," Astrid said casually, leaning against the rickety old table that was Gobber's desk. "Blacksmithing's hard work, huh?" In her hand she held a large mug of water, nearly empty. She was the one that had suggested they spend some time alone, away from the hustle and bustle of the village.

Hiccup was beside her, and he shrugged nonchalantly, smiling. "It's alright once you get used to it. Crafting, handling the sharp weapons, Gobber yelling your name for all of Asgard to hear..." He cracked a grin and Astrid chuckled.

"Well, I doubt he'll be yelling at you now that you're the hero of Berk and all," she suggested with a smirk, knowing how he was uncomfortable by the prospect of it all.

Sure enough, he blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Aw c'mon," he mumbled humbly, "I couldn't have done it without you guys."

From outside, Snotlout rolled his eyes.

Astrid snorted and lightly punched his arm, causing him to grin sheepishly. "Yeah, keep that up, Hiccup. You're not fooling anyone. Say, how's your leg doing, anyway? Does it still hurt?" Her ocean blue eyes drifted to the metal contraption that now took the place of his missing limb.

"Naw," he dismissed with a little wave. "It's a little sore at some points, but that's to be expected, right?"

"Right. You're tougher than I thought," she teased, causing his face to turn an even darker scarlet. "Well," she smiled warmly and held up her mug to toast, "To our defeat of the Red Death!" He beamed happily and gently clinked his mug against her's before taking a swig.

"To OUR defeat of the Red Death, indeed!" Came the chirp of a familiar voice abruptly entering the atmosphere and almost causing Hiccup to choke on his drink. There Snotlout entered, his hands casually locked behind his back as he approached the other teens.

"Oh, hey Snotlout. What're you doing here?" Hiccup asked casually, trying to hide his disappointment that he and Astrid's moment had been interrupted. "Shouldn't you be up at the Great Hall? Celebrating?" He hinted.

His cousin's eyes narrowed just the slightest.

"I could ask you the same thing," Snotlout retorted haughtily, bringing his meaty hands out from behind his back. Astrid craned her neck to catch a glimpse of what Snotlout was holding, which were two simple mugs, filled to the brim with some sort of drink. "What are you two doing here?"

Astrid scoffed and flipped her bangs out of her cyan eyes. "Because it concerns you?" She asked sarcastically. Snotlout chuckled and thrust the two mugs forward.

"Oh, thanks. What're these for?" Hiccup asked with slight suspicion, taking one.

Snotlout shrugged innocently and avoided their piercing gazes. "Gobber asked me to give them to you," he lied. Hiccup peered into the mug, as did Astrid. They both looked at Snotlout for an explanation. "As a thank you, I guess," he explained, trying to suppress a chill expression. "Not that you two did anything more heroic than I did," he taunted, flexing his large muscles.

Astrid pressed a hand over her mouth, desperately trying to contain the bile while Hiccup rolled his emerald eyes. "Yes, well, thank you for that, cousin-of-little-decency."

"Ugh, I think I'm going to be sick," the blonde muttered, causing Snotlout to chuckle.

"Oh, Astrid," he flirted. "You know you can't resist all this." He gestured to himself and flexed his biceps once more, causing her to grimace.

"Oh, I'm sure I'll limp along," the girl retched in disgust, taking a large swig of the drink Snotlout had given her without further questioning. Hm. It tasted rather sweet. Was it some sort of juice? Probably. Hiccup gave Snotlout one last look of suspicion before taking a sip of his own drink. Well, if it was from Gobber... Snotlout watched intently as the two finished off their drinks and smirked.

"I guess I'll leave you two alone to whatever...you two were doing," he suggested, backing away as the couple stared at him in confusion. "Yep..." He trailed off, and fled the smithy, not wanting raise their suspicion any higher.

The two teenagers stared after him for a moment before glancing at each other and shrugging. "Nothing unusual there," Astrid excused.

It was all Snotlout could take him laughing out loud. Once he had exited the Forge, he ran around the back and peeked through a crack of the wall to further observe the two. This was it.

Little did they know, he had given them an extremely strong elixir that was actively used on seriously wounded people, quickly making them all loopy before Gothi would work on them. And those patients were only given a small dose. Astrid and Hiccup had just drunk a whole mug. They'd be pretty incoherent in a matter of minutes, which was exactly what Snotlout wanted. He wanted them drunk and disorderly, but most importantly, alone.

So far, Astrid had been rubbing her forehead, complaining of feeling rather woozy. Hiccup admitted to feeling the same, swaying a bit as the stuff began to kick in. Snotlout watched in satisfaction as Hiccup asked if she was okay.

When he only got a moan in response, he lowered her to the floor. Then suddenly, a big smile appeared on the teenage girl's face.

"You...You okay, Astrid?" He breathed, feeling dizzy. "Ugh..." He held a hand to his forehead. "I don't feel r...right."

"Muh-huh..." Astrid snorted. "You're fine... You're soooooooooo Hiccup-y..." She slurred, wrapping her wonky arms around Hiccup's thin neck in a chokehold position. "Come on, Hiccup, come play sockey with me..."

The perpetrator held back a snort as the tough, Viking warrior was reduced to a babbling state of mind. She shoved him to the ground rather clumsily and mushed his face into the ground. "Yay...Goal..."

The other Viking seemed to be in another world, his emerald eyes suddenly becoming glazed over and his body all limp. He said nothing, but collapsed atop of Astrid, who mumbled something Snotlout couldn't pick up on.

He slapped a thick hand over his mouth to keep from chortling with laughter. It was incredibly funny to see his cousin, the so-called hero of Berk, a wasted mess.

"Some hero!" He wanted to jeer, but kept silent. There was only one other thing left to do. Running back to the entryway of the Forge, he grabbed a scrap plank of wood and placed it over the handles of the doors.

"That should hold you," he said with satisfaction, taking a step back. Those two were probably too far gone to even notice that they were locked in. Would anyone discover them? He shook his head. Nah. The adults were too preoccupied with their drinks to take notice of Hiccup and Astrid's absence. Oh, they'd know by morning, but that was more than enough time for the couple to do something stupid or dangerous. He smirked, recalling the abundant amount of weapons Gobber left lying about the Forge. Hiccup and Astrid would most likely wake up, completely forgetful of the previous night, to find themselves in that state.

So perhaps his original plan of having Hiccup ruin the relationship wasn't exactly going to work. Thank Thor the adults would take care of the aftermath.

He stood quiet, listening to the muffled noises emitting from the two drunken teenagers. Yep, he had a pretty good hunch of what the adults would find the next morning. He frowned. Hopefully Astrid wouldn't go too nuts with those unfinished weapons. After all, he didn't want his cousin's blood on his hands. His hope was that his cousin would do something that would horrify or disgust Astrid enough so that she would hate him forever. He chuckled sinisterly and rubbed his hands together. And when they were discovered, both Hiccup and Astrid would have to be separated. It was the rule. They could not be left alone together, drunk. Stoick wouldn't stand for it. Even though Vikings were rather barbaric, they still had lines that the children were taught should not be crossed.

Snotlout cackled again and while glancing up at the Great Hall, a pang of discomfort caused him to frown. "What if someone catches them in the act?" Now that would be quite interesting. The male then pondered if he should leave the two or stay close in case someone just happened to pass by.

He began to back away from the Forge. He couldn't stay. Someone would suspect him and then he'd end up in bigger trouble.

Some weird noises emitted from the forge and the boy grinned, leaning against the door. Well, it didn't hurt to stay and lookout.

...

An hour later...

"'Ello there Snotlout!"

The guilty party yelped, turning around quickly to find Gobber himself strolling towards him, a mug in one hand, his other, a prosthetic hook that had speared a leg of mutton. Snotlout spluttered for a moment before regaining his hard-set demeanor. "What ahre yeh doin' out here, lad? Ye should be enjoying th' party! They've got legs of mutton!" He smiled, waving the prosthetic hook in the air.

Snotlout paled and immediately felt sweat droplets begin to bead at his forehead. Why was he so nervous all of a sudden? It wasn't like the man knew he was behind...whatever the heck Hiccup and Astrid were doing in there.

"O-Oh yeah! Sounds great! Sounds great..." He trailed off and chuckled nervously, knowing full well what was in the Forge, but with no knowledge of how to excuse himself from the scene.

A muffled, hoarse moan emitted from the smithy, to which Snotlout coughed loudly in order to cover up the noise. In his state of nervousness, he could not decipher whether it was a moan of pain...or worse. "What in Loki's name are you losers doing in there?" He thought in confusion.

"Ye alright there, laddie? Yeh don't look yerself," The large blacksmith observed curiously, raising an eyebrow at the usually loud, bumptious boy, who'd suddenly gone rather quiet.

"I'm fine!" The young Viking laughed, trying to sound casual, praying that Gobber wouldn't suspect him of what lay behind the door of the Forge. "I was just heading back up there! I needed to...you know."

The much older male wrinkled his nose. "Oi, Ah don't need t' know that, boy." With a tired heave, the older Viking pushed past the younger one and stopped suddenly, eyeing the barricaded entrance to his shop. "What en the...?" He muttered, removing the wooden plank and pushing open the door.

At this point, Snotlout had been inching away, towards the Great Hall. He was sure that even the almighty Gods had flinched at the volume of Gobber yelling, "Hiccu-WHAT EN ODIN'S NAME ARE YE TWO DOING?!" The culprit smirked as Gobber entered the forge, sounds of iron plates clinking against each other. With a little chuckle, Snotlout slunk away from the small smithy. Whatever the blacksmith had found them doing must've been pretty bad, which was pretty great for him!

Gobber had yet to overcome the initial shock of what he had discovered. It was priceless. So for the sake of their dignity, he tore his eyes away. "W-Whaddaya?" Gobber stuttered, forgetting all about Snotlout. "Hiccup?! What're ye doin'?"

Hiccup seemed to be coming to at the sound of Gobber's bellow, lifting his head and opening his emerald eyes to a half-lidded state. "Mmuh...Gobby?" The man struggled to control his temper as he approached his young apprentice, reached down, and yanked him up by his stick-thin arm. "Get up!" He thundered. "You too, Astrid!" Hiccup let out a pathetic yelp as Gobber's fingers became entwined in his slightly tangled auburn locks and he peered at the man through bloodshot eyes. "Get dressed," he growled firmly. "Now. The both of ye."

Astrid struggled to get to her feet, the room completely blurry in her azure eyes. "Whas happened?" She drawled, in a daze. Gobber retrieved her discarded bindings and shoved them at her.

"Never mind that," he replied gruffly, averting his eyes from her, "Ah can't believe th' two of ye. The total disregard of morality! The impudence! The-" He paused his chide and eyed the mugs that had accidentally been discarded. Suspicious, he picked one up. With one sniff, he recognized the elixir the two teens had consumed. It had been used on him twice during the amputations of his left arm and foot. Gobber closed his eyes, using as much strength he had to resist the urge to shout every Scandinavian curse he knew at the two fools.

"What...en Odin's name...are ye drinking this stuff fer?" He growled. "Ye can't be that stupid!" The man tossed the mug away and averted his eyes as the two struggled to get dressed in their drunken state. Astrid stumbled to the floor onto her knees, holding her head and moaning in pain. Hiccup kept muttering unintelligible words under his breath and randomly pawing at the air, as if feeling for some invisible, tangible object before him.

Gobber narrowed his eyes and backed away, outstretching his hook-hand. "Stay. Put. There," he ordered, hoping that some small, coherent part of them would adhere. "Ah'm going to get th' Chief." And with that said, Gobber rushed out of the forge and onto the street, running to the Great Hall as fast as his hefty body would let him. "Drinkin' like Romans..." He thought with disgust.

Snotlout quietly watched from his hiding place, a surge of satisfaction blooming in his chest at the possibility that Hiccup and Astrid would be separated by the next morning.

...

"Stoick!" Gobber frantically called out as he shoved the double doors to the Great Hall agape. "Stoick, Ah need ye to come weth me, right now!"

Hiccup's father just so happened to be approaching the doors as soon as Gobber shoved them open, causing him to collide with them head-on. "Argh!" The man yelped, rubbing his now aching forehead. He glared at his best friend, who was out of breath. "What is it Gobber? What's wrong?"

Gobber's panicked expression erased any anger Stoick may have felt and replaced it with concern. "Tell me!"

"Stoick..." Gobber paused, sad that he was the one who had to deliver the shocking news. He looked about for a moment before lowering his voice. "It's Astrid and Hiccup. They've..."connected" as it will." Stoick's mouth went agape. "And right now," Gobber continued, "believe et or not, those two are stumbling about in me Forge, drunk."

Stoick stared at him, praying to the Gods that Gobber was joking. "Tell me this is a trick-a joke even," he breathed, dread consuming him. "You havin' a laugh Gobber?" He was sure that Hiccup wouldn't do such a thing. He didn't seem like the type who would break that type of law. But then again, his best friend wasn't known to lie.

Gobber shook his head in sympathy for his friend. "Ah'm afraid not, Chief," he said sorrowfully. "Ah sampled their drink and et seems as though they've been consuming one of Gothi's elixirs. Ye know th' one she gives to delirious patients, or-or th' ones that require amputations?"

Drinking too? What had gone wrong?! Stoick knew that he had clearly explained these mature matters to his son and that they were wrong. And yet, Hiccup had deliberately disobeyed his rules. Stoick's once saddened face grew angry, and Gobber sighed, knowing that the chief would not take this lightly. "Show me where they are," Stoick commanded, and Gobber obeyed, quietly leading him from the Great Hall, ignoring the whispers and murmurs that trailed after them.

Stoick never thought he would be as embarrassed and ashamed for his son as much as he did when he found Hiccup passed out on the floor of the smithy with Astrid at his side. Under closer inspection, he noticed the blood droplets dotting the floor. Trying very hard not to lose his temper, the man knelt down and shook his son's shoulder. "Hiccup," he barked. "Wake up!"

The young Viking's head lolled to the side, his hands randomly clenching and unclenching, muttering random things under his breath. "Nien..."

Embarrassed by Hiccup's state, Stoick rolled his eyes and took his young son in his arms, prepared to carry him home himself. Hiccup buried his freckled face in his father's impressive beard and groaned, going limp, but shivering every so often in the cold air.

"Tell Astrid's parents to leave their plates and come here immediately," Stoick ordered the blacksmith, "I'll explain what's happened when they get here." Gobber nodded and left right away.

Snotlout had watched the whole thing in sick delight. "Ha! That should do it," he thought with a grin. "Geez, do I even have to get involved anymore? It looks like Astrid and Hiccup took care of their relationship for me."

...

The next morning...

Hiccup woke the next morning feeling extremely groggy and sluggish. He opened his emerald eyes and blinked, his vision unusually fuzzy, even in the morning. He sat up with a groan, pressing a hand to his forehead when a sharp pain shot through his head. "Ugh...I feel like sea-froth," He groaned, his stomach protesting his movements, "What happened?"

A cheery warble from his dragon was his response. The young teenager grinned weakly as Toothless bounded over to his side, giving him a warm nuzzle for comfort. "Hey there, Bud," Hiccup greeted, giving the Nightfury a much-enjoyed scratch under the chin. "How's my best friend doing?" Toothless crooned warmly, lapping at his human's cheek .

"Ack! Toothless!" The scrawny boy cried out in disgust. "That doesn't wash-OW!" He doubled over, holding his abdomen tightly.

The Nightfury watched in concern, letting out a grumble of pity.

"I-I'm fine, Bud. Heh, you're probably feeling better than me I'll bet," Hiccup chuckled, swinging his legs over the side of his bed. "You're lucky dragons don't get-ARGH!" Another wave of pain. "-headaches," the boy finished, rubbing his aching temples tenderly. "Jeez, what did I eat?" He wracked his brain but curiously enough, he couldn't remember much of what happened the previous night.

Toothless cocked his head to the side, much like a curious puppy, and nudged his human, earning a goofy grin. "You wanna fly, Bud?" Hiccup asked as he hobbled over to his desk and grabbed his fur vest. "Sure thing! After breakfast of course. Maybe I'll feel better after a bite to eat."

The two made their ways down the stairs, Toothless bounding and Hiccup trudging, an arm clenching his stomach. He called, "Hey Dad? Toothless and I are going to head out after breakfast and meet up with Astrid at the academy, okay?"

"You'll not be going anywhere today." The response his father gave him was so sullen and so serious that Hiccup stopped dead in his tracks. Toothless whined and rumbled in protest.

Confused and slightly concerned, the young Viking stepped over to his father, who's back was to him. Stoick was facing the fire he had lit moments before, not even glancing at his son.

"Sit down," he ordered. "We need to talk."

"Uh, sure Dad," Hiccup obeyed quickly, not wanting to get on his father's bad side this early in the day. "Uh, why don't you go outside, Bud?" The dragon warbled unhappily but complied with his human's wishes, shuffling out the door. Once he was absent, Hiccup pulled up a spare wooden stool and sat across from the large man. "Is... Is everything alright?" The fourteen-year-old questioned, bewildered when his father only sighed, rubbing the spot between his eyebrows.

Hiccup froze, recognizing the look his father was giving him. The same look that had haunted him all his life. It was disappointment.

"You haven't an inkling of what you did last night, do you?" Stoick the Vast muttered. Hiccup tensed. It was more of a statement than that of a question.

"Last night?" Hiccup blinked. "What I did? What, did I miss something important?"

That question gave Stoick pause. "...Yes and no..."

"Uh-huh. Yeah, I have no idea what you're talking about, Dad," the teen sighed, scratching his head. "I went to the Great Hall for dinner, for the celebration, right? I'll admit: I DID leave. And..." He blushed, embarrassed about hanging out with his female counterpart. "I took a walk with Astrid, went to the Forge..." He paused, his mind going blank. "And... Huh. Funny...That's all I recall."

"Well, I'll fill you in then," the man said with a thin, sarcastic tone, and Hiccup felt a sense of dread rise within him. Whatever this was about, he had no doubt it was something bad. "There I was, in the Great Hall," Stoick recounted, "minding my own business when Gobber bursts in telling me that you were passed out in his shop, naked, with Astrid in your arms!"

There was a short silence.

Hiccup's emerald eyes widened in shock and his jaw went slack. Did his father just say what he thought he said? "W-Wait, what?" He spluttered, a nervous smile tugging at his lips. "Pfft. Good one Dad! You really had me there... Hehe. Um...You're...you're joking, right?"

Stoick's stony demeanor remained and what little smile Hiccup etched, faded.

"Dad, if this is a joke, I seriously suggest that you rethink your material." Hiccup cracked another nervous smile. Stoick's expression didn't change. "No, you're not seriously suggesting that I had-" he sucked in a breath, his freckled face reddening. "That can't be; I don't remember any of that!"

"And what's more," Stoick continued with a hint of strain in his voice, "according to your cousin, Snotlout, he happened to be passing by and heard everything." He shook his head and sighed while Hiccup desperately wracked his brain for answers.

"B-But Dad, you know me!" Hiccup cried, feeling his cheeks growing warm from humiliation, "I know the law, and I would never do something like that."

"Are you calling your father a liar, boy?" His father asked, his voice dangerously soft.

Hiccup remained quiet for a moment, flustered, not trusting himself to answer honestly. "No, I'm saying Snotlout's lying," he retorted slowly, reminding himself to confront his cousin about the situation later. "Gobber must be lying, as much as I hate to say that. I'm telling you, Dad, I didn't do anything."

"Hiccup!" Stoick thundered, and his son jolted at the volume, cowering under the large man's glare. He unconsciously gripped the sides of the stool he sat upon with his fingers until his knuckles turn white. "I saw you myself! I was the one had to carry you home while you were just in your skins! Don't you tell me what you didn't do!"

After getting over his initial shock, the boy inhaled sharply. "T-Then how come I can't remember it?" He asked in frustration, clenching his auburn hair between his spidery fingers. "Seriously, if I did...what you're saying I did, with Astrid no less, I'm sure I'd have SOME sort of recollection!" He was beginning to panic. Why didn't his father believe him? Surely he'd be more reliable as an honest boy than Snotlout! "Ju-Just... Go ask Astrid if you don't believe me."

"She would say the same," Stoick stated, his eyes narrowing, "And do you know why?"

Hiccup seemed to shrink in his stool. "Why?" He asked meekly, face paling.

"Because the both of you were drinking one of Gothi's elixirs!" the Chief yelled, causing Hiccup to squeak. His father was rather terrifying when he was like this. There was no telling what he would do. "Oh for the love of-It's no wonder yeh can't remember a thing! You were passed out by th' time Gobber led me to you!"

"B-But-" Hiccup protested. "I don't even remember drinking an elixir! I think I remember drinking watered-down mead...or something, and..." He paused. "That's all!"

Stoick held up a hand, silencing his son. "Save your breath."

"What?"

"You and Astrid have proven that neither of you are mature enough to be trusted alone with each other."

"...What? But, Dad-! We didn't-!"

"Hiccup," Stoick yet again interrupted. His face relaxed into one that was pure disappointment.

Hiccup paled and white-knuckled the stool. "Dad..." He protested hopelessly. He felt his eyes begin to tear up and he averted them from his father's in hopes he wouldn't notice. "I-She-We-We didn't do anything! You can't keep us apart."

"I can. Don't question my authority," his father chided sullenly. "I know you want to be with her and I know that your relationship is important to you."

"Of course! So why?" Hiccup pleaded. His father didn't answer, and he stiffened. "Did we...really? Did we really have-you know?"

Stoick nodded sullenly. "You did," he confirmed. Hiccup slouched, hunching his shoulders so that he looked even smaller, his face a beet-red.

The man scoffed. "Odin, if I were in your position, I'd be worrying about Astrid."

Hiccup slowly tilted his head back up to face Stoick, who swallowed at the heartbroken expression. "A-Astrid..." He winced, picturing the girl's fury. "She isn't too mad about...you know?"

"It would be foolish of her to be so-at you," Stoick scoffed again and shook his head. "She's just as guilty as you. And her anger isn't as big as an issue as her physical state-"

Here, Hiccup jumped from the stool, letting it fall over with a thunk. "Is she okay?" He cried in concern. "Did...Oh no. Did I hurt her? Oh geeze, with all those weapons lying around-You'd think-"

Stoick groaned and grabbed his son's bony shoulders, squeezing tightly. "Hiccup," he spoke slowly, surprised that his intelligent boy hadn't considered it earlier. "You had intercourse with Astrid. What do you think may be happening to her? For all we know, she may be pregnant."

There was a hush. Hiccup's emerald eyes grew impossibly wide and his jaw set to a firm line. As soon as Stoick slowly loosened his grip on the boy's shoulders, he could feel Hiccup immediately tensing.

For once, the Chief was silent, patiently letting the appalling truth sink in. Hiccup was slightly shaking, dazed as his mind tried to absorb the true gravity of the situation. "T-This is too crazy," he whispered, shakily sliding to the wooden floor of his home, shocked to the core. "I...I can't...believe this."

Stoick knelt down to his son, sympathetically patting his lanky shoulders, despite his apparent anger. Hiccup inhaled sharply, making an attempt to hold back his tears. This was too much to take in, but he couldn't cry. "But how can you be sure that she's...?"

"Gothi's goin' t' take a look," Stoick assured him. "She has more knowledge of this more than anyone on Berk. Probably in the entire Archipelago. She'll know this early on."

Hiccup hugged his knees, an abundant amount of tears struggling to escape his eyes as he struggled to avoid hyperventilating. "This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be happening! This can't be happening!"

Somehow, he managed to swallow down a wail. "D-Does *heave* Astrid know about w-what happened yet?" He choked faintly, hating himself for letting several sobs escape his throat. He felt such shame, humiliation, and terrible guilt begin to consume him, even though he was sure whatever did happen between them must have been some miscommunication or just a simple mistake that led to something unorthodox.

Stoick sighed, removed his helmet, and smoothed back his hair. "Aye, that she does."

So she did know. The thought made Hiccup's stomach churn in the most grotesque way. "And... Uh...by any chance, what happens if she IS pregnant?" He asked.

"Let's not make any assumptions," The chief said firmly, "and don't get your hopes up. Let's just pray to the Gods that she isn't. Odin knows you and Astrid aren't nearly mature enough to settling down with little ones." Hiccup bit his lip. "And if she is... Pray that the Gods will take it lightly... And, well, then you're going to be a father."

At that, Hiccup's heart jolted and his breath hitched. A father. A father. The word bounced around his clouded brain. Father. Father. Father. It sounded so strange. He'd be that person who'd have to be there for his child, to teach him or her, to raise, to nurture...

"Yeah, a father... Fantastic." The boy muttered scornfully, trying to imagine he and Astrid trying to raise a child together. He couldn't picture it easily, although he had done it many times before this whole mess. "Because everyone knows my skill-sets just thrive in THAT department." A lump rose in his throat. "Astrid and I haven't even been together for a week! How is she going to...?" He slapped a hand over his mouth, for a huge cry was about to escape his lips. His shoulders shook, his body wracking with silent sobs.

"Thor's hammer...! How am I *hic*-Great... *hic*-going to raise *hic* a child? I'm not even old enough to be *hic* chief yet!" He paused to glare at his dad. "But I-I suppose that shouldn't *hic*-ugh, be a problem, seeing as how I'm not allowed *hic* to be with her anymore."

Stoick was quiet for a moment, watching his son wither beneath his gaze. Even though he was extremely upset at his boy for disregarding his rules, he couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy and, dare he say, a tad bit of guilt. Perhaps Hiccup never intended to do what he did with Astrid. "After all," he thought, "they were incorrigible, poisoned by Loki's drink." With a sigh, he pulled the young Viking to his feet.

"Enough," the Chief scolded gently, placing a hand on Hiccup's chin and tilting his head upward to face him. Hiccup screwed up his face as he tried to maintain a determined expression. "Enough. You need to be stronger than this," he advised softly. "If Astrid is indeed pregnant, then you need to be there for her. That's your child she might be carrying."

"So wait," Hiccup swallowed his bout of hiccups and croaked, "are you still keeping us apart?"

Stoick thought for a moment and sighed heavily. "If you two are going to adopt the responsibilities of parenthood, than I'll have to arrange you and Astrid to be wedded."

Hiccup gasped yet again, a flurry of mixed emotions flooding his mind. "Wedded?" he repeated. "Y-You mean married? But I'm only-"

"You are too young to be having intercourse," Stoick pointed out. "Besides, I was around your age when I married your mother and she bore you not long after."

There was a pause.

"Hiccup," he said seriously, "You do know what you did was wrong."

Hiccup nodded, trying to steady his voice as he spoke, "I know, Dad. I'm sorry." He glanced away. "I GOTTA be stronger-er, strong," he amended sheepishly. "I'm..." He swallowed and then gave his father his best look of determination. "I'll be there for her." Stoick nodded.

"Good," he approved. "Now... Ah, as of right now, I want you to stay inside your room for today," the Chief said, placing a hand on Hiccup's back, gently guiding him towards the stairs. "It'll give you plenty of time to think about what you've done." Hiccup groaned inwardly but obeyed his father without further comment.

Stoick watched his son trudge up the stairs, looking admittedly distressed and shook head. How did his son always manage to get himself into trouble? He had only now ended a war, and now this! If Astrid ended up bearing Hiccup's children, then they'd really have no choice but to marry. It was either that, or Hiccup would face death by the hands of Astrid's family, and shunning in the girl's case.

...

An elderly woman gently rapped on the door of the Hofferson household with her staff, patiently waiting for someone to answer. The man of the house, Egil, peeked out the door with a rather nervous expression but smiled when he noticed her presence. Egil was a rather buff Viking, but was known to be a tad bit soft. She raised an eyebrow at the weathered complexion his face possessed.

"Ah, Gothi! We were expecting yeh!" He said, smiling a smile too big to be real. "A-Ah assume yeh know what's happened between th' chief's son and me daughter." The elderly women frowned and nodded, motioning to the door.

"Oh-Oh yes," Egil stuttered, tugging at his beard, "How rude of me. Come in, come in!" The woman smiled and hobbled into the man's home. "Darlin'!" Said man called out to his wife. "The elder's arrived to inspect our daughter!"

From somewhere in the house came a muffled yell for Egil's reply, and he winced. "Helga's probably busy at th' moment," he apologized meekly, rubbing the back of his head. "Ah'll show yeh to Astrid. Come with me, please." He carefully led Gothi upstairs to his daughter's bedroom and gently knocked on the door.

"Astrid?" He called out. "The Elder is here!"

"Go away!" A hoarse, infuriated feminine voice shouted back in defiance. "I keep telling you that I didn't do anything with Hiccup! Why don't you take the hint!?"

"Sweetie, please-" THUNK.

The sharp blade of an axe abruptly pierced through the door, causing Astrid's father to yelp in a rather un-Viking-like fashion. Gothi eyed him questioningly. The man sighed and admitted, "She's been like that all day. Ever since we told her what happened, she just kept denying and denying-the poor lass won't admit her wrongdoing."

Gothi gave him a calculated look. "Believe me, she is a very obedient and proper girl," Egil insisted. "Ah honestly cannot tell ye that Ah know what happened with her that night. It was as if she had disregarded Viking morale entirely." The older woman nodded slowly and her expression clearly meant one thing: dismissal.

"Eh, right! I'll leave yeh to it then," Egil nodded, seemingly a little too eager to be heading back downstairs.

With a warm smile, Gothi gently pushed opened the wooden door and stepped into the teenage girl's room.

Astrid was sitting on the edge of her bed, hunched over, the most disturbing glare plastered onto her face. Moving her blonde bangs out of her icy azure eyes, the girl snapped, "I know why my father wants you here, and I'll tell you what, why don't I just tell you what really happened?" She growled. "And that's just it: nothing happened between Hiccup and I. Nothing, you understand?! I'm a maiden."

Gothi simply frowned disapprovingly at tone of voice the girl was using with her and roughly bonked her on the head with her staff. "OW! Gothi!" Astrid yelled through her gritted teeth, rubbing at the tender area.

One look from the older woman advised Astrid to discontinue speaking. "Fine," the Viking griped, glaring at Gothi with stony anger. "Just do your thing. You'll see. I didn't do anything with him."

The Elder motioned her to lie on her back upon the bed, which Astrid did unwillingly. She noticed that the older woman kept glancing at the axe that was embedded in her door frame. "What?" She asked, "It's not like I'm gonna hurt you or anything. The last thing I want is to be banished."

Gothi chuckled under her breath and placed a hand on Astrid's forehead, the other on her abdomen. She closed her eyes in deep concentration. The girl watched in curious fascination. Even though she was angry, she could not doubt Gothi's impressive ways of examination and knowledge. Gods, the woman could tell the exact date of a person's death just by looking at his or her tongue! Not that Astrid would want to know that...

The woman opened her eyes, and dread filled Astrid's being as a frown overtook Gothi's face. "I-Is everything-?" Gothi held up a hand for her to silence herself and took her hand in her own aged, wrinkled one. Deeply absorbed in the almost witchcraft-like observations, Gothi began examining the girl's fingernails, torn and bloody from all the nervous biting since that morning.

"Look, I'm telling you with every fiber of my being, I swear I did NOT engage in any sort of...ugh...you know, THAT, with Hiccup Haddock," Astrid insisted, a blush rising to her cheeks at the thought. Gothi shook her head again. The teenager stared at her expectantly, her heart fluttering in nervousness. "What?" She queried.

What happened next startled the girl: Gothi spoke. "Lass, Ah've seen th' signs," whispered she. "There's no need t' deny et. Ye 'ave connected with Heccup Horrendous Haddock III," she said quietly yet firmly. Before Astrid had the chance to deny it once again, she went on, "Ah also know that ye may 'ave not been aware of yer actions because ye've consumed one of me very non-impotent elixirs." Astrid spluttered in bewilderment, going a deep scarlet shade in the face.

"However, Astrid Hofferson, that esn't the only thing Ah've found."

The girl nearly choked on her own breath. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" She asked quietly. She then quickly took on a different tone and drew up to her full height, towering intimidatingly over the small woman. "You had better not say what I think you're saying." She said threateningly.

The Elder sighed and shook her head, knowing that Astrid would flip once she heard the truth. "Mah dear lass. Ah've seen the signs and Ah cannot keep thes knowledge from ye. Ye are indeed pregnant weth Hiccup's child."

...

A/N: Cripes almighty, Astrid is NOT happy. Do me a favor and just imagine how her reaction would be if she finds out that Snotlout was the cause of this predicament. How will she react to seeing Hiccup since that fateful night? If he's lucky, he'll only get an axe to the knee. And yes, they will eventually find out it was the infamous Snotlout...or will they? How will Snotlout react seeing how he caused the problem? Keep reading to find out!

Please leave a structured, adequate review. Believe me, I love criticism but I will not take flames seriously.

Ps: Cripes almighty once again! Eighteen pages of work?! Hey, why don't you do your old pal Emma a favor and add my story to your favorites? Follow it! Come on, you know you want to! You know that you want to see what happens to Snotlout. You know you want to see the baby. You know you want to see fourteen-year-olds try to be parents. Oh, and don't forget the wedding! You wanna see that. Don't we all, my precious Fanrats?

Pss: If anyone has any suggestions for how the story might go, please leave a review and I might take it under consideration.