I debated for a long time about which fic I wanted to update first as a part of my November update dump. Eventually, I decided on this one. I ended up changing my intended direction for this fic, but don't worry – plenty of Navia and CoLu planned for this. I hope you all enjoy it, and I'm sorry about the hella long wait.

Special thanks go out to Raijindork (on tumblr) for helping me out with the proofreading on this. I owe you one.

Wish me luck on Nanowrimo this month, y'all. Enjoy all the updates.

Freed and Bacchus took the seat across from Cana and Gildarts, a sullen aura hanging above them. Their arms slung across each other's shoulders, so definitely not by choice. It made them look much more buddy-buddy than either of them currently felt.

"Palm of right hand on Freed, to right shoulder blade on Bacchus, and palm of left hand on Bacchus, to left shoulder blade on Freed…" Lucy intoned, scribbling the information down with the rest. "There we go." Setting it down, she looked up at Cana. "Gotta ask though… why do they seem to have two sticking places? Everyone else only has one each."

Sweating profusely, Cana refused to meet the gaze of any of the involved parties. "…I may have a problem," she admitted. "It was just… it was too funny, at the time. Bacchus was drunk, I was drunk, Freed was asleep… My cards were in my pocket… things just escalated from there."

Lucy wasn't sure she particularly wanted to understand just what Cana was insinuating. So she let it go. "So, Mest. What did Lahar say?"

The Direct Line mage sighed, all of his energy drained from the events of the day. "He's coming to see about your… situation. And he'll probably stick around…" A giggle-snort erupted from Cana, which he judiciously ignored, but for the slight stiffening of his jaw. "He'll probably stay a while to help with warding your apartment." Doranbolt turned and pointed at Cana, her hand wandering dangerously close to her cards. "And you!" he stated with a meaningful look at the Card mage. "Don't even think about it."

Cana withdrew the offending hand, pouting. "Boo. You're no fun."

"Oh, I'm tons of fun," he reassured her, "I'm just not a pushover, and neither is Lahar. Trust me, this is for your own sake. I personally think it would be hilarious to see him glued to someone, but I also realize that that person will probably be me, so let's not do that."

Elsewhere, Lahar sneezed. Strange. Was he coming down with a cold?

Shaking it off, he unlocked his apartment door. Immediately, he headed to his bedroom for a fresh change of clothes. Given the secrecy that Cobra's escape would require, he felt it prudent that he not show up to Fairy Tail alone and in his official uniform. Worse, people might assume that he… liked… the guild and was on friendly terms with them. He shuddered at the mere notion of such a horrible thing.

Lahar had forgotten to instruct Doranbolt to keep everyone there until he arrived, so he could debrief them all on the importance of keeping their mouths shut about the escaped criminal. But he assumed that his colleague would have the good sense to stop them from leaving. The last thing they needed was for a reporter to get wind of the situation and sensationalize it.

"Okay so… everyone should hash out their new, temporary living arrangements," Doranbolt lectured the group. "And then get to them." At the collective groan from the gathered mages, he rolled his eyes. "Seriously, just figure it out and get on with it. I suggest anyone attached to a Fairy Tail mage should stay here in Magnolia, since you're here already. I also heavily and personally recommend that everyone keep their traps shut about this one." He gestured broadly to the irate criminal on the ground. "Because if you do, I will make it my personal mission to ruin your lives."

"What about a cure?" Sting questioned. "Shouldn't everyone just stay in Magnolia anyway? I mean… Cana's here, so if a solution…"

A snigger came from Cana.

"…is found, then wouldn't it make more sense to be close to it?"

Doranbolt shook his head. "We don't know how long that will take, is the problem. And you're a Guild Master. Unless you have someone that can manage Sabertooth indefinitely, your being absent would be a problem."

Sting sighed. "You caught me – I was trying to get out of the work."

"I knew it," Rogue grumbled, unheard by most.

"Aside from which, you might be hard pressed to find a place to stay," Doranbolt continued. "I think everyone outside of Fairy Tail is matched…"

Another snigger.

"…to either someone from Fairy Tail, or from within their own guild. It's going to be cramped here, I'm guessing."

"I am so glad I have an apartment of my own," Lucy said. "What are the Fairy Hills girls going to do, though? Especially you, Erza. Since Ichi–"

"Don't," the scarlet haired woman warned softly. "Don't finish that sentence."

The Trimens swept in front of Erza, dazzling smiles all around. "No worries, Miss Erza!" they exclaimed in unison. You will be staying at our Boss's place! Lord Ichiya has plenty of room to accommodate you in his abode."

"Indeed!" the small man proclaimed, though it was muffled by Erza's hair.

Hibiki turned to face Doranbolt, who was staring at them, gob smacked. "No offense to the Council meant, Sir Doranbolt. Fairy Hills is a women's only domicile, if I remember correctly. Therefore, the only option here is for the Titania to come over to Blue Pegasus for the time being."

With a grumble of irritation and a look of pity thrown in Erza's direction, Doranbolt was forced to accept their solution.

"My place," asserted Laxus, his tone brooking no argument with his fellow Dragon Slayer.

Contemplating it for a moment, Gajeel had to agree. "Fine, whatever, Sparkplug. Lily, you and Carla can have free run of our place for a while. Need to stop by and pick up clean clothes and stuff, though."

"Appreciated," the black Exceed said, relieved. "I don't know if Fairy Hills' 'no males' policy extends to Exceeds, but I'd rather not take the chance to find out."

Carla nodded. "Likewise. I hate to leave Wendy by herself, but..."

"You'll like Fairy Hills!" Wendy promised Chelia with a heartfelt smile, completely unaware of Carla's concern.

Chelia grinned back at her… as much as she could without being about to directly face Wendy. "It'll be kinda like an extended sleepover, right?"

"I think they'll be fine," Pantherlily commented, pointing at the two girls with his paw.

Carla felt sweat run down the back of her neck. "Indeed."

Natsu and Juvia chose then to exit from the men's restroom. "What did we miss?" Natsu asked, a toothy grin across his face. He was over the moon that Juvia had not felt the need to slice off anything he wanted very much to keep.

"We're figuring out…" Erza paused and swallowed hard, turning almost the same shade of green that Natsu usually did on a moving vehicle. "…Living… arrangements…"

"Oh, that's easy." Natsu nodded, confident in his next statement. "Can't stay at Fairy Hills, so we'll be staying at my place. Happy and I have got tons of room."

"Room?" Lucy suddenly scoffed, eliciting a burgeoning smirk from Cobra as well at the image in her head. "Where in that pigsty is there room? It's like… a dragon's hoard in there."

"Hey!" her partner protested. "I can clean!"

"But have you?" Cobra joined in.

"I can start!"

Juvia went pale, then flushed, and paled again in quick succession at the thoughts tumbling around inside her skull.

Just what was she in for here?

Like it or not, Natsu staying with her at Fairy Hills was definitely not an option, so she would soon find out.