Bruised But Not Broken

This fic comes with a serious warning that it deals with some sensitive topics. I don't want to give anything away, but if you want to know more before reading, send me a message. I don't get too detailed with anything, but still feel the warning is necessary. This multi-chapter fic is different than my usual stuff, and it's a little tough at times, but still always 100% McSwarek. I'd love to hear what people think, so please leave a review. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue.

Chapter 1

Under the darkness of night, Sam followed SWAT into an old farmhouse that had seen better days. Oliver threatened to keep him at the station - handcuffed to a cell, if need be - but Sam had pleaded to go, insisted he wouldn't take part in the arrests. He just wanted to be there when they found her. It had been three long months and he didn't want to have to wait an extra minute to see her. Oliver eventually relented, with conditions of course. Sam was only there for Andy; he left everything else up to the other officers.

So, he obeyed orders and was one of the last through the door. Two teams split off heading to the main level and second floor. The third team made its way down dark basement stairs and gut instincts had him following them. As he heard the cops on the upper floors shouting for people to surrender, he headed over to a padlocked metal door on the far end of the basement. Sam waited impatiently as the lock was cut and the door was pried open, all the while keeping one ear to his radio to hear if she'd been found elsewhere. When two SWAT guys took only a step inside the room before moving aside, he knew they'd found her.

He holstered his gun and ran in the room, almost losing his lunch at the condition she was in. Memories of his sister flooded his head, even though he knew this was much worse. He collapsed to his knees next to the rusty, rickety metal frame that was a sorry excuse for a bed. It was topped by a thin mattress he couldn't imagine provided much comfort from the metal bed springs. She was curled up in the fetal position and shivering, seeming to not even realize anyone had just barged through the door.

"McNally...Andy," he whispered.

"No, no, no, no," she mumbled when his hand touched her shoulder.

When his hands slid underneath her, Andy's eyes flew open and fear was quickly replaced by relief before tears rolled down her cheeks. "Sam."

"It's okay. I'm here. You're okay." He kept reassuring her as he picked her up, the short flimsy nightgown she wore nearly falling off her body. When he turned around, he was thankful someone was there with a blanket, which they draped over her.

He walked out of the farmhouse and felt all eyes on them. A quick glance to his left and he saw Oliver and all of Andy's friends looking at him with worried expressions. He gave them a short nod to indicate she was alive, but didn't have any more reassurance to offer, so he focused on getting her in the waiting ambulance.

He could tell she'd lost weight as he carried her out of the farmhouse, but seeing her lying on the gurney as the ambulance rushed them to the hospital, it was startling to see her nearly skin and bones.

He started to brush hair off her face, but pulled back when she flinched and he saw her body tense. He gently took her hand in his and watched her body relax. He knew the signs, had seen it before with Sarah. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath.

"Sam, go, I'll be fine," Andy insisted as they stood in front of his truck outside the station.

"I'd feel better if you took the truck tonight. I can get a ride home from someone," he said. His gut was telling him something was wrong, but he couldn't put his finger on what.

"We're gonna be celebrating Chris cracking the big case today and I'm not going to be in any condition to drive," she told him. "Go to poker night and stop worrying. I'll text you when I get home later."

He shook off the bad feeling and leaned down to kiss her. "Be careful, okay?"

"I will. Now go have fun and win us lots of money," she told him.

He forced a smile. "I always do."

He watched her jog over to her friends who were waiting for her, and as he drove off in his truck, the last thing he saw was Andy's beautiful smile.

It was hours later when Andy left The Penny. She had planned to get a cab, but the summer night was fresh and cool, and would help sober her up, so she decided to walk. It wasn't far to the townhouse she and Sam were living in now, and she'd done the walk many times before.

She was about halfway home when her senses went on alert. She pulled her phone out of her pocket as she began to glance around, but it was too late. She was grabbed from behind, a sweaty hand covering her mouth, muffling any screams, and her arms were twisted behind her back. Her assailant didn't realize her phone fell into the nearby grass as she tried to fight him off. She managed to kick his leg, almost causing him to topple over, but he caught himself as a van screeched to a halt next to them.

"She's a feisty one," said the man who held her.

"This should calm her down," said another man who stepped out of the van. Her eyes went wide when she saw the needle he held, and despite her continued fight, she felt it plunge into her neck before darkness took over.

Meanwhile, at Oliver's, Sam pulled out his phone, anxious to hear from Andy. "Come on, brother, she's having her own fun tonight. Relax," Oliver said, placing a fresh beer in front of his friend.

"I'm just gonna give her a call," Sam said, ignoring his friend's comment. He stood up and, walking away from the table, dialed her number. When Andy's voicemail came up, he furrowed his brow. He tried again, thinking maybe she was drunk and hadn't been able to answer the call in time. Again, voicemail.

His gut that had been working overtime earlier was in full swing again. Something wasn't right. He called Traci, but found she'd left the bar before Andy and didn't know if she was still there. His next call went to Dov, and Sam felt his heart tighten when he was told Andy left an hour ago. Her called her number again, just hoping she would pick up - that she'd been in the shower or sleeping, or anything that would prevent her from answering but mean she was safe.

"I gotta go," Sam said when he got her voicemail again.

Oliver saw his friend's change in demeanor. "What's wrong?"

"Epstein said she left The Penny an hour ago, but she's not answering her phone. She was gonna text me when she got home, but I haven't heard from her," Sam explained, grabbing his keys and heading for the door.

"Wait up, Sammy. I'm coming with you," Oliver said before glancing back at the rest of the guys.

Steve nodded. "Go, go. I'll take care of everything here. Call me if you need help."

Sam pulled out of Oliver's driveway the instant his friend got in and shut the door. "Where are we headed first?" Oliver asked.

"Our house. She's gotta be there, Ollie. I don't know - "

"Don't think that way, okay. She's McNally, her phone probably died, and she's gonna be home asleep waiting for you," Oliver said, trying to reassure him.

They were at the townhouse in record time. Sam barely shut the engine off before he was bounding up their front stairs two at a time. He cursed his fumbling fingers when he dropped his keys.

After finally getting the door open, Sam raced through their home, finding it dark and untouched, just like they left it that morning. As he came back down the stairs, Oliver didn't need to ask if she was here, the look on his friend's face told him everything.

"Maybe she went back to The Penny, forgot something and headed back there. Hey, maybe that's where her phone is," Oliver suggested, trying to keep his friend's hopes up, even though it wasn't looking good.

Half an hour later, they were walking out of The Penny without any more information on where Andy might be. Sam tossed his keys at Oliver. "I need to follow her steps," Sam said, leaving Oliver confused.

"Get in the truck, Sammy," Oliver said. "Let's go to the station, see what we can find out from there. We can put a bolo out on her."

"You go," Sam replied and started walking to the street.

"What the hell are you doing?" Oliver called out after him.

"I'm walking the route she takes home from here. She never waivers, especially late at night," Sam replied, not stopping.

"How do you even know she walked?" Oliver asked.

Sam slowed up and glanced back at his friend. He didn't know how he knew, but that same feeling in his gut that told him something was wrong, told him she had decided to walk instead of getting a ride. "I just do."

Oliver hopped in Sam's truck and decided to follow his friend.

Every couple of minutes Sam would call Andy's phone, hoping to hear the familiar ring. And finally when he was about halfway home, he heard it. It was faint at first, but he knew he was headed in the right direction when it got louder. Oliver realized his friend was onto something, so he parked the truck and jumped out.

"What did you find?" Oliver asked, as he watched his friend pick something out of the grass next to the sidewalk.

"Her phone," he replied absently. Sam looked around, as if she'd be across the street, ready to give him some smartass remark.

As Sam began walking around, trying to find any clues to where the love of his life disappeared to, Oliver was dialing the station to get all hands on deck to find her.

It was a blur when the ambulance arrived at the hospital. Andy was whisked away from Sam, a sea of doctors and nurses surrounding her, while he filled out paperwork. By the time he was done and pacing the hall outside the room they had Andy in, Oliver had arrived.

"How is she Sam?" Oliver asked, jogging up to his friend.

"I don't know. They're in there," he said waving his hand toward her room. "Doing whatever they do. God, Oliver...in the ambulance, she looked…."

"She's a fighter Sam. And you were there for her. She knows she has a lot to fight for," Oliver said, patting his friend on the back.

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost her," Sam thought out loud. "If she were to…If she died, I feel like I'd die too." He looked over at his friend sadly.

"Today's not that day, brother," Oliver assured him. "You got her here and they're doing everything they can in there."

Sam and Oliver were sitting in chairs a few feet from Andy's room when a doctor finally came out an hour later with an update. "Mr. Swarek, Sergeant Shaw. I'm Dr. Connors," she said, shaking their hands as they stood up. "I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to update you, but as you must know, she's gone through a complicated trauma."

"What can you tell us, doc? How is she?" Sam asked, just wanting her to get to the point.

"Ms. McNally is severely malnourished and dehydrated. We're also trying to detox her from several drugs that are in her system," she told them. "We still have tests to run, but as you probably could tell, she has undergone prolonged physical abuse. She has no current broken bones, but there is evidence of multiple healed fractures. We're still trying to determine what may be old injuries versus her recent trauma. There is also evidence of repeated sexual abuse."

She paused respectfully as she watched her patient's boyfriend stumble backward before his friend provided support. "It's going to take time for her to recover from all her injuries, but she will heal. She needs sleep, but you can go in and see her now."

Sam didn't hesitate, walking right into Andy's room and to the side of her bed. Her eyes were closed, the dark circles under them a stark contrast to her pale skin. She was sporting a fresh bruise the size of a fist on her cheek, and he noticed a faded bruise the size of a hand on her neck. Her lips were dry and cracked, likely from lack of fluids. Most of her was hidden by blankets, but the bruising and needle marks on her arms were visible and made him wish he'd found her abductors himself and shot them dead.

She sensed he was there, but refused to open her eyes. She was afraid to face him, if she was being honest about it. She knew the doctor would have informed Sam about the extent of her injuries, but hearing about it and seeing it with his own eyes were two different things. She felt damaged, tainted, ashamed and beyond repair.

When she heard him pull up a chair, she realized he wasn't leaving, not that she wanted him too. He was all she'd dreamed of while she'd been locked up and she felt safe for the first time in months with him here. She opened her eyes and rolled her head to the side. "Hey."

He'd been staring at her hand, wanting to take it in his and hold it close, but not knowing if that would freak her out. When he heard her voice, his head popped up to meet her eyes. "Hey...How are you feeling?"

"It's good to see you," she said, avoiding the question.

"It's good to see you, too. I'm sorry it took so long," he said, leaning forward and placing his arm on the bed. "I didn't rest in trying to find you."

She shook her head, tears filling her eyes. It was the only thing that gave her hope in the days she'd been held captive. "I know. I know, Sam." She wiped away a tear that escaped. "I knew you would find me."

She could see the pain in his eyes as he blamed himself and that was the last thing she wanted. "It's not your fault. Sam, listen to me," she said, wanting him to look at her. "Do not blame yourself. Knowing you were out there was what kept me going. And you found me, Sam. I love you."

He wanted to wrap her up in his arms, hold her tight and protect her forever. The condition she was in - mentally more than physically - had him settling for giving her a smile. "I love you too, McNally. Don't know what I'd do without you in my life."

They sat in silence for several minutes and Sam thought about the last few months. He worked night and day trying to find any lead that would bring him to her. He went to CI's he hadn't talked to in years, begging for information. He worked normal shifts as little as possible, using most of his vacation time so he could come into the station on his own time to research even the smallest of leads. When it seemed convincing enough that a gang new to Toronto was responsible, Steve brought the case under Guns & Gangs and gave Sam fairly free reign in the investigation.

About 2.5 months after Andy went missing, a truck with six young girls was stopped on its way into the city. Sam happened to be on shift and was the detective in charge of interrogating the drivers. It turned out they were part of a gang trying to make a name for itself in Toronto and while they played dumb and claimed not to know what the girls would be used for, it was clear it was part of a human trafficking operation.

Something one of the guys said also had Sam convinced they were tied to the people keeping Andy captive. Everyone thought he was grasping at straws, forcing a tie-in to Andy's disappearance where it didn't exist, but Sam pressed on. It took a several days for him to put all the pieces together, but once he did, Steve took over the investigation and obtained the warrants for a raid on the farmhouse.

He was mad at himself for not being able to find her sooner. He was supposed to protect her, but look at the torture she'd been put through. He knew Andy didn't blame him, but he blamed himself enough for the both of them.

"I'm glad we found you," he finally said, pulling himself from his own thoughts.

"How much...how much time has passed?" she asked. It had felt like a long time - several weeks for sure - but the days blurred together while she was in that basement and the drugs kept her out of it most of the time, so she couldn't be sure how much time had passed.

"Three months."

"Oh. Wow." She stared up at the ceiling. Three months of her life gone. Three months for the world to move on without her. Three months of her life she wanted to erase from her memory.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Sam asked. He couldn't help noticing how rigid her body went, and regretted his question.

"Um, maybe, uh, I'm really tired. Could we talk about it tomorrow?"

"Yeah, yeah. Can I get you anything? Do you need anything?" he asked.

"Go home, Sam."

"What? I'm not leaving you," he replied.

"I know you. You haven't slept well in three months. You probably haven't been eating well either. I'm gonna need you, so go home, sleep, take a shower. Please, for me," she said.

"McNally, a few restless nights doesn't even come close to what you went through. You sleep, I'll be here when you wake up," he told her.

As much as she loved Sam, she needed some time to herself. She had a hard time facing Sam feeling as dirty and damaged as she did. And she needed time to wrap her head around the fact that while all she wanted was to be in Sam's arms again, she had no idea why the thought of it made her shake in fear right now. She could feel herself starting to break down and didn't want his guilt to grow. "Look, I'm gonna need some clothes because this hospital gown has to go," she said, trying to force a smile. "Go home and pack me a bag...after you get some sleep."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'll call you if I need you back sooner," she assured him.

"Promise you'll try and get some sleep?" he asked, standing up.

She nodded and he reluctantly knew she was right. The next few days and weeks were going to be hard on both of them, and it was true that he hadn't had much sleep the last three months. And he could bring her some comforts from home when he returned.

He couldn't leave without a small reminder she was here and alive though, so he leaned down to press a light and quick kiss to her lips. She quivered under him, and she hated that her body couldn't differentiate his loving touch from the torture of her captors. All she wanted was his arms wrapped around her, his body pressed against hers, but her brain had other ideas, giving her a constant state of fear. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, casting her eyes down and away from him.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" He tried not to make her feel more uncomfortable by ignoring what just happened.

"See you tomorrow," she replied, bringing her eyes to meet his again.

When Sam was gone, Andy rolled onto her side, and let her tears roll down her face and onto the pillow beneath her. She wanted to go back to that night three months ago and take Sam's truck, let him be over protective and worried about her. Instead, she had to be independent and fearless, and walk home alone. Now she felt damaged beyond repair and couldn't imagine how Sam would ever want to touch her again after learning the details of what she went through. That was, if her body would even let him touch her again.

She thought about the night her nightmare began as she cried herself to sleep.

When Andy woke up after being abducted, she found herself lying on a concrete floor, wrists and ankles duct taped tightly. She wasn't sure how much time had passed since they'd injected her with something that knocked her out, but as she opened her eyes, she saw a man at least a foot taller than her with a large build staring down at her with an evil grin. She wiggled around, trying to loosen her restraints to no avail.

"Boss is gonna love you. He likes 'em feisty," he said, with a laugh that echoed in the tiny room.

There was a small amount of light coming from the open door behind him and Andy looked around the room for any possible escape route if she could manage to free herself. The room was sparse and felt smaller than her bathroom at home. There were no windows and the walls were cement. The only piece of furniture in the room was a small metal twin bed with no mattress. The air was stale and smelled sour.

But most importantly, the only exit was through the big man in front of her. She began rubbing her wrists against the cement floor, hoping it would tear the duct tape.

The man checked his watch before she saw him pull a needle out of his back pocket. "No, no, please," she begged, shimming her body away from him as he stepped closer.

"Don't worry sweetheart, this one won't knock you out. It'll make you feel really good." He grabbed her by the arm, turning it until he had a better angle, before plunging the needle into the crook of her arm. She felt a fire rushing through her and she knew they were drugging her up; they wanted her more compliant. And she had never been more terrified.

By the time two other men stepped into the room, Andy was feeling the full effects of whatever drug they injected her with. She was feeling loopy and didn't have full control over her movements - she suspected if she tried to stand up, she'd stumble over her own feet and land face first onto the concrete. And she felt happy; she didn't want to be, but there was this happiness coursing through her from the drug and she couldn't stop it. Before her mind completely blurred, her cop instincts told her it had to be a mixture of drugs they pumped into her.

"You did good, boys," she heard of the men say.

"Just what you like, Jonah."

"This toy is much better than the last one. You will be rewarded for this," Jonah responded. "Did the truck pass the border?"

"Yeah, boss, ten runaways will be here by morning."

"Good. Good. Got some people hungry for this shipment, paying top price," he said, and Andy could hear the evil in his voice.

Jonah crouched down and laid a hand on her cheek. She tried to move away, but couldn't. "My sweet little thing, we are going to have a lot of fun. You want to get out of these restraints, don't you?"

She managed to nod, but immediately regretted it as the motion made the room spin.

"Good. Good," he said, before running his hand tenderly down the side of her body. His eyes examined her for another moment, before standing up. "First, you have to be taught how things are around here, who's in charge. Then, you and I can have some fun."

Her eyes went wide, terrified by what he meant. She had to be taught? How? She could only guess what his meaning of fun was and she was fairly certain it wouldn't be fun for her. He gave a nod to the two other men before leaving the room and closing the door.

The first few punches and kicks were numbed by the drugs, but severe pain eventually took over. When the men were done, she was thrown onto the bed with no mattress, hands cuffed to the head of the bed. She had a metallic taste in her mouth, unsure if it was from her busted lip or something else. Her body ached with bruises and she could see spots of blood on her torn clothes.

She laid there, not able to sleep because of the pain. All she could do was picture Sam and hope he would realize she'd gone missing, and find her. If he didn't, she knew she was going to die here.