Please, Just Smile For Me

AN: the characters do not belong to me. This is from a tumblr prompt from i-love-downton. Thank you so much, hope you enjoy!

September 1921

It had been several days since Matthew had died, and Cora found that she was unable to sleep with all of the worries flooding her mind. She was brokenhearted over Mary and George's futures, seeing how especially hard the loss of the young man who had become like a son to Robert was on him and being unable to fathom that she now had two grandchildren who had each lost a parent within hours of their birth. Her insomnia was so great that she quietly slipped out of bed, wrapped her robe around her shaking body disquieted by yet another nightmare and tiptoed out of the bedroom as to not wake Robert. The poor man looked like death warmed over every second he was awake, so Cora was determined to let him rest as much as he was able in the night hours.

She thought of all the years in which she had wandered through Downton after her arrival as she found the familiar path from the bedroom to the library. The way in which the shadows fell through the windows comforted Cora. Whatever nightmare had bothered her enough to awaken her and drive her from her bed felt more distant, less real as she glanced at the architecture of the house by night. It grounded her in reality, glum though it may be.

Cora sank into one of the red sofas in the library, grateful for its softness by the time she had walked to the main level. Her body ached from nights of broken sleep, and it felt good to stretch out on the sofa and not worry about awakening anyone.

Cora must have fallen asleep for a little while because the next time she opened her eyes, sunshine was spilling in through the library windows. It was an unusually sunny day in England, a brightness that mocked the sadness within the home.

Cora stood and hoped she would not see anyone on her way back upstairs to their bedroom, but she was not as fortunate as she had hoped.

"Good morning, milady," Carson greeted her. "Shall I send Miss O'Brien up with your breakfast?"

Cora shook her head and attempted a polite smile. "No, thank you, Carson. I think I'll sleep a while longer. I left the bedroom as to not disturb His Lordship."

Carson merely nodded. "Very well, Your Ladyship. Rest well."

Cora was relieved to note that Robert was no longer in bed when she at last reached their room because she didn't feel like explaining yet another nightmare. Once she was awakened, she couldn't even remember what it had been about, but it was enough to ruin the night. Climbing into the sheets felt good as Cora found a comfortable spot on her side of the bed and let sleep claim her.

Thankfully the sleep was without dreams, but Cora felt a little disoriented as she awoke a few hours later. A fast glance at the clock confirmed that it was nearly noon.

O'Brien was up to the bedroom as soon as Cora rang the bell, fixing her hair in record time to help Cora be nearly on time for luncheon.

Everyone stared at her as she took her seat at the luncheon table. Robert looked at her with pity, while Mary and Edith seemed lost in their own worlds after giving Cora stares of consternation.

Cora desperately wanted to say something comforting to them to ease Robert's pain and Mary's grief, but her insomniac mind was clouded when she tried to find the right words.

Violet, who had become a fixture in the house following Matthew's death, glanced around the table and finally settled on Mary.

"Are you sleeping at all, my dear?"

"No, Grandmama. Because if I do, the dreams will come."

Violet gave her another sympathetic look before returning to her plate. It felt as if luncheon would never end, and as soon as it did, Cora went back to her bedroom. She had hardly been able to keep her eyes open at the table and knew that staying up was of little use.

O'Brien was the only person in the house who showed any concern for the countess.

"Milady, I only wish you could sleep enough," she said as she unlaced Cora's corset and prepared her for a afternoon in bed.

"I do, too, but it's just not working." Cora sighed. "I feel so ineffective with them. All of them. Mary, obviously, but Robert, too. He's so sad. Not that I'd expect him not to be. But I just wish I could help him somehow. It's as if he could be reached, where Mary is beyond anyone's help at the moment. I don't want to lose all of them, O'Brien. It's like losing Sybil all over again. Each time tragedy strikes this family, all I can do is watch and wish to be able to take their pain away, but I can't." She broke down into sobs and buried her face in her hands.

"If only there was something they could do to help you, milady. It's not as if you are immune from their suffering. It's yours, too. Is there anything that I can do?"

"No, you're already doing it," Cora said. "Not criticizing me for taking another rest in the afternoon."

O'Brien shook her head. "No criticism when you're as tired as this. Just rest now, milady." She guided Cora to the bed and helped her to lie down like the mother of a weary child might have done. "Would you rather have a tray in your room tonight?"

Cora nodded. "Yes. I think that would be better. Thank you so much, O'Brien. I do need my rest."

Nearly as soon as O'Brien had closed the door, Cora fell into a deep sleep. At first she was free of dreams, but once they started, they ripped at her heart.

Robert stood before her on the day she had fallen by the bathtub and lost their unborn son. He was frowning with blame, anger in his eyes. Cora wanted to sleep because the blood loss was so great that it had nearly cost her life, but he didn't seem to care.

"We cannot have any more children," he said icily. "There will not be an heir among our children, Cora."

'I'm so sorry, Robert," she cried.

"And now with Matthew dead," Robert continued, "everything is uncertain again. George will not be old enough to inherit for many years."

She could not find any words, just sobs that wracked her body and left her nearly breathless.

A sharp knock at the door jolted Cora from her sleep. She sat bolt upright in bed, gazing around the room in a daze before gathering her composure enough to use her voice.

"Who is it?" She called out as her body suddenly felt as though it was made of ice.

"It's Robert, please let me in." Her husband sounded emphatic. Did he really blame her as he had in the dream?

She walked lightly across the room and opened the door all the while staring at the carpet. "I'm sorry, Robert."

Robert noticed that she wouldn't look at him, so he gently lifted her chin so that her eyes were reluctantly staring into his.

"I only wanted to see if you were all right," he said with absolute tenderness. "You were screaming and crying in your sleep. It is I who am sorry because I don't think I've understood how much this tragedy is affecting you. Can we go inside?"

Cora nodded while more tears began to flow from her eyes.

Robert took her hand and led her inside, sitting her down on the side of the bed with covers undisturbed by tossing and turning.

"Do you want to tell me about it, my angel?"

"It was all my fault," Cora whispered. "You were angry. Because of our son dying. Now things are a mess without Matthew and you're going to hate me."

"Oh, no, Cora," tears sprang to Robert's eyes. "I could never, ever hate you. Never, nor do I blame you for anything, especially not the loss of our son. Please believe me."

"I do," she said quietly and leaned into his strong arms. "I'm sorry. I've been having bad dreams and I didn't want to bother you, so I've been sleeping in the library."

"Oh, my poor darling, don't sleep in the library," Robert smiled sadly. "If you have a nightmare, please let me know. I want to help. But there's one thing I want you to never, ever forget. I love you, Cora, and I always will."

"I love you, too, Robert. Thank you for that."

"Of course, my love. Please, just smile for me. Even a little."

She looked at her husband and the love that washed over her automatically created a smile, albeit a small, teary one.

"That's more like it," Robert said, holding her close in his embrace. "We'll get through this together. As long as I have you, Cora, I can face anything."

"You definitely have me, Robert," she intoned. "You always will."

As she continued to relax in his arms, they both settled into a comfortable position. After all of the wakeful nights they had endured over the previous week, they were soon fast asleep. When O'Brien brought Cora's tray a few hours later, she smiled at the sweet sight of the earl and countess sleeping in each other's arms. When they awoke, she'd bring a second tray.

The End