Something was off.

Something was definitely off.

Those were the thoughts going through Detective Nick Amaro's mind as he stole another glance at the small blonde woman sitting at her desk. She was paler than usual and she kept glancing at the clock on the wall. Not to say that Nick loved paperwork either, but Amanda looked a little too anxious to be free of her responsibilities for the day- not that he should really care. They hadn't been talking since their fight at the bar when she had completely freaked out on him.

They hadn't been touching either.

God he had missed sliding his hands eagerly down the gentle slopes of her tiny body, her hands desperately gripping him as he…

He also missed the more innocent touches. Their bodies leaning into each other as they watched whatever dumb show was on, her grabbing his hands whenever whatever she was talking about overwhelmed her with excitement, or most especially when she allowed herself to let her guard down and rest her head on his shoulder or against his chest-

Damn it. Snap out of it, Nick.

It was just sex. Well, when it was happening he hadn't felt that way. But now that is was seemingly over and had ended with fire, that's what he kept telling himself to keep him from showing up at her door, begging her to open up to him about whatever was bothering her. Something had obviously been up with her for days, but hey, it wasn't like she was going to let him in. She never let him in.

It was just sex. It was just sex.

"Amanda?"

Fin's voice brought him out of his tensed up mind. His eyes snapped back over to her desk, only this time she wasn't there. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her quickly exiting the room.

He wanted to get up. He wanted to get up and follow her to go make sure she was ok (which he was sure she wasn't), but there was no sense in revealing their relationship to the team when there was no relationship anymore.

"I got it," Olivia said, having sensed that neither Fin nor Nick considered it their place it intervene, before softly calling Amanda's name and following after her.

"What do you think-

"I don't know."

"What's going on, Amaro? At first I thought you two might be-

"We're not."

"I know. But lately you can barely seem to be in the same room as each other."

Damn it. He thought they had done a good job of hiding the discord between the two of them.

"Maybe something is up with her, but everything is fine on my end," he lied smoothly.

"Fair enough," nodded Fin, seemingly buying it.

Nick tried to keep his worry for Amanda to a minimum, but it flooded through him and into his lungs, tightening his chest. Whether he liked it or not, he had a good read on her, or at least a better read on her than anyone else did. God damn it he was so tired of all her secrecy. He wasn't even mad about what transpired at the bar anymore, he just wanted to know what was wrong so that he could hold her and tell her that everything was going to be alright and help her fix it, but he knew that wasn't a possibility. As much as he loved- no, liked her, he was beginning to see that maybe this split truly was for the best. He cared about her too much to watch her silently destruct and not let him help, or even know what was causing her this much trouble.

"She's sick. Poor girl is puking her guts out. When she's finished I'm going to give her a ride home. You two are free to go as well."

So she was sick? Was that it? No, it couldn't be. Maybe it explained her being so off today, but she hadn't been herself the past few days either. His first instinct was to go check on her, to hold her hair back and bring her water, but he knew better than that for two reasons. The first reason being that she would never let him take care of her, and the second being that he couldn't give in for his own sake. She had woven herself into the threads of his subconscious, and the only way he was going to get her out was by fighting the way she controlled him, even when she wasn't trying.

A sudden thought iced the blood rushing through his veins. Could Amanda be pregnant? The paleness, the nausea... He had thought he was just especially missing being physical with her at the time, but the other day he had thought that the curve of her chest against her sweater had been larger. He remembered seeing all these changes in Maria when she was pregnant with Zara.

But he already had Zara and Gil… could he even handle another child, with another woman whom he had a troubled relationship with? And why hadn't Amanda told him? Did Amanda even know she was pregnant?

Did he even know she was pregnant? You're getting ahead of yourself. Maybe Amanda was just sick or stressed out. That was probably it. He was just projecting his own anxiety over the situation onto her.

She wasn't pregnant. She was ok. She didn't need his help. He should forget about her.

Everything was fine.

Everything was fine.

If only he could believe that.