Chapter 37
Jane stood in the doorway while she watched TJ play with some old blocks. She heard Angela working in the kitchen, trying to make a proper meal out of canned food. It was raining outside, which was good because it would fill the well in the backyard and water their small kitchen garden. Jane listened to the raindrops trickling down on the roof of the farm and smiled.
Life had been quiet and peaceful for almost two months now. TJ was cheerful and healthy; Angela was getting her strength back and Maura looked happier than she had in a long time.
There had been no sign of the rest of Jane or Maura's family. Maura's adoptive parents were most likely still in Europe and Jane had no idea where her father and Tommy could be. It hurt; it felt like a hole in her chest that couldn't be filled with anything. But through the pain, she felt intense gratefulness. She felt peaceful again. She hadn't felt restless in weeks and she was starting to get ready to settle down.
Maura had started a small kitchen garden in the backyard, making it possible to grow some vegetables. Jane had been setting some traps in the forest and caught some rabbits so they could eat meat. Life was good and peaceful.
Suddenly two familiar arms wrapped around Jane's waist and a warm cheek rested against the back of her shoulder, interrupting Jane's thoughts.
"What are you thinking, my love?" Maura said softly into Jane's curls.
Jane turned around in the embrace to face her wife. She shrugged. "Just feeling grateful."
Maura smiled and kissed Jane's lips. "I'm glad to see you like this."
"Like what?"
"Happy, content. I was waiting for you to get restless after a few weeks but it didn't happen. I'm happy you're happy."
Jane smirked and squeezed Maura's back, her arms wrapped tightly around her wife's waist. "I have everything I need."
Maura pressed her lips against Jane's as she wrapped her arms around the brunette's neck. The kiss deepened, tongues finding each other, arms tightening in the embrace, trying to get impossibly closer.
Jane broke the kiss, gasping for air. She rested her forehead against the blonde's, smiling as she closed her eyes. "I love you so much."
Maura smiled, stroking Jane's messy curls. "I love you more."
Jane opened her eyes and looked into sparkling, hazel eyes filled with love. "I don't think that's possible. If a person feels more love than I'm feeling right now, they would explode."
Maura laughed, tangling her hands in Jane's curls. "People hardly ever explode, especially from love."
"Alright doctor." Jane said sarcastically as she leaned in for another kiss. "Maur, do you worry about me getting restless again?" She thought about Maura's words, noticing the insecurity that laced them.
Maura shrugged, loosening her tight grip but keeping her arms around the brunette's neck. "Sometimes, yes. Back at the cottage, I was feeling content, but you got restless. I guess I'm kind of waiting for that to happen again."
"It won't." Jane assured her wife.
"You don't know that, Jane. You haven't found your father and Tommy yet. Something could happen to the farm. You're not the person to settle down easily. I know you, Jane."
Jane felt a hint of concern. "You're right. I don't know the future." She brushed a strand of blonde hair back, stroking her wife's cheek. "But I do know that I love you more than anything in this world. I feel content on this farm, I'm so happy to have TJ and even though my mom can be incredibly annoying and pushy, I'm endlessly thankful that she's back and I love her."
Maura smiled and Jane saw her eyes shimmering with tears. "I'm not saying I'm fully happy, and I don't think I'll ever be. I miss Frost, I miss Emma, and I miss Frankie and the rest of my family… That hurts like hell. But I love you so much, Maura. And I love my mom and TJ. I want to spend my life with you on this farm."
A single tear started trickling down Maura's cheek and Jane softly wiped it away. "I can't promise I won't get bored or restless. But I'm never putting you guys in danger again. I love you and I want to be with you somewhere safe and peaceful."
Maura smiled adoringly at her wife. "That's a beautiful speech."
"Thanks. Jon Favreau wrote it actually." Jane smirked.
Maura laughed out loud and pulled Jane in for a loving kiss. "I love you, Jane. I want nothing more than to spend my life with you."
Jane held her wife close to her, arms wrapped tightly around the blonde's waist while Maura buried her head in the crook of Jane's neck. They enjoyed the close embrace without speaking, soaking in the never-ending love they felt.
Suddenly Maura lifted her head, looking down at TJ who was tugging on the leg of her jeans.
"Mama, I built a tower!" The young boy said with a big smile.
Jane saw tears forming in her wife's eyes when she heard the toddler call her mama.
Maura kneeled down in front of TJ and smiled while she stroked his chubby cheek. "I'm not mama, remember? I'm Maura. Aunt Maura."
"Momma." TJ stated. "I built a tower!" He tugged on Maura's sleeve, urging her to come look at his tower in the middle of the living room.
Maura smiled and wiped her damp eyes, giving Jane a loving smile before she walked with the small boy. Jane watched her wife admire TJ's clearly awesome tower, giving the boy compliments about the solid structure and choice of blocks.
The detective smiled and felt tears burning in her eyes. Her family was broken, they had lost people they loved and they had been through hell and back, but they had built their own little family. It wasn't complete and it wasn't perfect, but it was her family and she loved it with all her heart.
"Dinner's ready!" Angela called from the kitchen. "Come on TJ, let's go wash up!" She walked into the living room, taking TJ to wash his hands. "Are you coming, girls?"
"We'll be right there." Jane said before she walked over to her wife who was still kneeling in front of the tower of blocks. She kneeled next to the blonde, placing a hand on her upper back. "You okay, Maur?"
Maura looked at Jane with tears shimmering in her hazel eyes. "Yeah. I'm great." She smiled and wrapped her arms around her wife, kissing Jane's neck. "I'm great."
Jane clung to her wife and buried her face in Maura's hair. "I love our little family." She whispered.
She felt Maura smiling against her. "I love it too. And you. I love you."
Jane smiled as tears burned in her eyes. She sighed deeply, enjoying the feeling of the love of her life in her arms. She felt intense gratefulness and overwhelming love. She felt things she hadn't felt in a long time. She felt happy and blessed. She felt love and warmth and the safety in her lover's arms. She felt Maura's happiness and that was all she needed.
"We're done surviving, Maur." She said softly. "We don't have to survive anymore. We get to live now."