This is set sometime in the horrible episodes filled with Josh (never liked him). The story may not align perfectly with the series but I did my best to keep things accurate, with my own spin of course.

I do not own any part of Castle, yet again showing my lack of skills choosing stock and not getting the idea before Mr. Marlowe.

As Castle watched doctor motorcycle boy and Beckett walk off towards the metaphorical sunset (in actuality it was the elevator in the precinct), he couldn't help but stare and reminisce.

He remembered not long ago, walking arm and arm with Beckett. Sure, he covered up his sincerity with a joke and a smile so Beckett would not be afraid to play along, but deep down he knew she enjoyed it at least as much as him. He knew she felt something towards him.

He had put his arm out in an attempt for her to link their arms together as they began walking towards that same elevator. He can't help but think she looked happier walking with him compared to with Josh. Castle escorted her to Remy's, their favorite burger and shake joint, a place he is sure, Josh doesn't know about and Beckett would probably never share it with him.

After Beckett made a comment on how he would dip the occasional fry into his chocolate shake, he had convinced her to do the same. He remembers her reluctance and then the surprised smile on her face when she let out a tiny laugh and told him it actually tasted good. They never said it was a date, just dinner between two people who need to eat who happen to enjoy each other's company. And that wasn't the only time they shared an evening meal together.

About a month ago, he dropped by at Beckett's apartment. He hadn't planned on stopping by so when he did, Beckett was surprised, to say the least. He knew it was one of her dark days. She had them time to time. Days where no matter what she did she could feel the weight of her mother's case on her shoulders.

He had told her more than once, on the better days, that he didn't mind in lightening the load. She would always shrug it off and switch the subject back to the current case, suggesting that she didn't want to discuss the matter. He always respected her wishes. Castle would never tell her this, not wanting to add to her worries, but he still felt it was his fault for reopening her mother's case to begin with. But he wasn't standing at her door to make himself feel better or to remove the weight he felt on his chest when he thought he was the source of even an ounce of her pain.

So when he knocked on her door it wasn't out of guilt. He wasn't there because he felt her sorrow was his fault. He was there because she was sad, and if she was sad, then he was too. Her sadness was his. So when she opened the door he knew she was hurting, and he just hoped she would let him in. Into her apartment and maybe into her heart.

Castle heard the door click and open with ease. As the door opened he heard Kate speak.

"Castle? What are you doing here?"

Though she tried to sound normal he could tell she had been crying and probably only recently had stopped. Probably to open the door.

"I thought you were the delivery guy".

Castle thought of starting with something sincere but he wanted to make it inside and get her guard down a little so she wouldn't just send him home.

"Nope, not the delivery guy, but if it upsets you that much I can come back with some food".

Not a great line by any means but her slightly hidden smile was convincing otherwise.

"Come on in Castle, I ordered enough for two, that is, if you haven't eaten of course".

He gave her a small half sided smile and replied,
"I could eat".

So they waited for the food and made small talk. Castle knew better than to just blurt out the deep stuff. He didn't want to get interrupted. They always got interrupted. So after the delivery guy came and dropped off the Chinese food and they were getting to the fortune cookies, he decided to get on with it.

"You're probably wondering why I stopped by tonight. I know I don't usually come around".

"I may be a little curious".

"I noticed you today. You try to hide it well, and for the most part you do. No one else knows when you are upset with your mother's case, but I do".

"I don't know what you're..."

"Kate you don't have to lie. I know you weren't crying because you stubbed your toe coming to answer door or that your eyes were just watering because of an eyelash. I know you better than that. I'm you're partner. That means something to me. Doesn't it to you"?

"Castle we make a good team but that doesn't mean you need to come to my side when I'm sad or upset. I'm a big girl Castle, I can take care of myself".

"I know I don't have to Kate. You know me, if I had to I probably wouldn't do it. I didn't stop by because we're partners. I came by because when you're in pain, I want to be the one to make it subside. When you're hurt, I want to be the person you look to. Jesus Kate, I like you and for a while now I know you've liked me. So if you don't mind, even if it's just for tonight, I want to be there for you. Tomorrow we can go back to being just partners, but right now, I don't want you to be alone. I've told you before that you don't need to have all that weight on your shoulders. Please, I'm begging you, let me carry it for a while".

She was looking at him with tears in her eyes, and in between breaths she whispered,

"Okay".

He wasn't sure how long they laid there but he wished it would have been forever. She had let him hold her while she pressed into his side. She let him wrap his arms around her and clasp them at the front of her waist. Laying on the couch he could tell his back would be sore for the next few days. He didn't care. Beckett was comfortable and he had never seen her so relaxed. Then all too quickly, he started to see the sun peeking through the shades of the window, signifying the end of his night of bliss.

She taken him up on the one night offer and then they went separate ways. As Castle started to turn away and slowly leave her gaze, his head and heart went heavy. Leaving is the hardest part. While his eyes met her's one last time, he knew she felt it too.

He loved her. He hadn't admitted it to himself, but he did. He didn't have to rationalize it with his brain. Love is not something he has to think about. He feels it. Every time he hands her a coffee and their hands 'accidentally' brush together. Every time he sees her face, he feels his insides soar and he has to catch himself from smiling that full ear to ear smile. Has to break away from looking at her because he knows someone is going to catch him trying to memorize every inch of her face. How her lips tighten together slightly when she is reading a report. How her brow furrows when she stares at the murder board trying to find the missing piece that links everything together.

She didn't know it. Didn't know he loved her. She may have thought it once or twice but he never told her the truth. He never told her that each night they parted ways his heart ached for closeness. Or that when he sees her his heart skips a beat and he can barely catch his breath. She's the first and last person he thinks of before he goes to sleep.

Beckett and him don't talk about any of it. He hasn't had the guts to tell her how it feels to see her with someone else. How when he turns a corner in the precinct seeing her laughing with Josh as she grabs her coat to leave he deflates. His insides twist and he feels like he's been kicked in the stomach. How he has to stop himself from punching a wall, or doctor motorcycle boy in the face. How he strains to try and tell himself she is not his. She never was and it would be rude to pretend she was.

But she was his that night. She let him hold her and keep her warm. And she didn't seem to mind. Maybe she could be his again.

It couldn't be that hard. He was already hers.

Castle heard the ding of the elevator and snapped out of the memory-filled daydream. As he watched the doors close, he let his eyes take her in until she disappeared. Then without a second thought, he decided enough was enough, and headed for the stairs. He didn't care that Ryan and Esposito were watching him as he ran.

He flew down the first flight of stairs, hoping to beat her and Josh to the landing. He needed to let her know that their lives were meant to be shared with each other. He skipped the last two steps of the stairs and ran through the hallway slowing to a stop next to the elevator, and he waited for the ding.

Depending on the reviews maybe to be continued...

Alright so this is my first fanfic and I'm not too sure about it. Please leave some feedback, good or bad. Try not to tear me down too much...