A/N: I had this in my computer for a while and thought: "Well, why not?" so here it is. Warning, it's crack-y, it doesn't really make sense, and it was written just for laughs, so if this makes you giggle just a bit, I will be happy. :)

In this fic Jellal was free and he joined Fairy Tail... Which could hopefully still happen... I'll pray...

Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail.

It was just a normal day in the headquarters of Fiore's most famous rowdy guild, Fairy Tail. Alzack and Bisca were watching Asuka play with their newborn baby boy, Levy was sitting in a corner, reading books (yes, that's right, books), Cana was drinking her fifth barrel of beer and the two Dragon Slayers plus a Demon Slayer were, as always… Talking?

"I'm telling you, Lucy was bad!"

"Yeah? Well, Flame Brain, Juvia was worse!"

Nobody knew how exactly did the three of them reach that topic, but here they were, complaining about their wives' behavior during pregnancy and competing in who had it worse (they are lucky both Lucy and Juvia weren't currently here).

The Fire Dragon Slayer suddenly got up from his seat, making the baby in Asuka's arms start crying (Bisca sent him a death glare, but he didn't notice) and began yelling at the Ice Demon Slayer: "The hell? She wasn't! You should have seen how Lucy would be all mushy one minute, and the next one, she'd yell at me for God-knows-what!"

"Well, Juvia was ten times clingier – and dude, I mean it, I could barely breathe"- Gray shivered at the memory - "and her jealousy was twenty times stronger – if any girl looked at me for longer than three seconds (that's right, she was counting), she'd start yelling and throwing a fit and clinging even harder!"

Gajeel, who was quietly listening up until now, couldn't hold his comments back any longer. "Y'know, if Bunnygirl and Rain Woman hear about this, you're dead-meat. Geehee."

"Oh, shut up, Gajeel! Can't wait to see how you're gonna deal with Levy's pregnancy!"

"Better than you, Salamander, that's for sure"- the Iron Dragon Slayer mockingly replied.

"Ya wanna go at it, huh, Metal-head?"

"Bring it on, Fire Breath!"

"Why, you…!"

While the three of them were arguing, another Dragon Slayer (very tired looking one), was trying to relax at a nearby table, but they just wouldn't shush, and his already painful headache started hurting even more, so he snapped.

"Would you shut it? You're drivin' me insane!"

Surprised, the group turned around to see a blond man massaging his temples, and Natsu could swear he saw a bruise near his eye. Gray was the first one to speak up: "Laxus? What are you doing here?"

Not bothering to look up, Laxus shrugged and replied: "Escaping from the thing the three of you were talking about before. By the way, your pants are missing"

"Oh, shit!"

Natsu sat by the Lightning Dragon Slayer's side, flashing him one of his grins, and Laxus just knew this was going to turn into something troublesome.

"Ya heard everything then, right? Tell the Ice-prick over there which one of us had it worse!"

"Obviously, it was me, right, Laxus?" - Gray said, after finally finding his pants and putting them on. Gajeel, sensing the Lightning mage's bad mood, decided he would back out a bit and watch the show from the outlines.

"Nu-huh, it was me!"- Natsu was persistent.

"No way, it was me!"- Gray wouldn't back down either.

They continued this for a while, until Laxus finally decided that he couldn't (and wouldn't) take this anymore, so he grabbed both males and, unable to restrain himself any longer, he started yelling at them. Gajeel was now sitting next to Levy and Lily, sipping his beer and watching the scene unfold in front of him.

"Shut up! Neither of you two had it bad! Do you know what kind of shit Fernandes and I go through? Huh? Need I remind you who married The Demon Mirajane and Titania Erza?!

"Well, uh…"- the Ice and Fire mages started sweating, knowing they just stepped on a landmine, and would have to take it all.

"Every time Mirajane has food cravings – be it nine in the evening or two in the morning – I have to give her exactly what she wants or I would be in serious trouble! And the Fernandes' household is probably on the edge of being bankrupt because of all of the strawberry cakes! Erza must be eating at least a hundred of those per day!"

Trying to wiggle out of his grasp, Gray pleaded with Laxus for him to calm down, with no success.

"And the mood swings? Oh, my God, the mood swings! Sometimes I'm wondering how the hell am I still alive! There was this one time when my dear crazy wife almost broke my arm in two! And did no one notice how Fernandes was limping up until a week ago? You thought it was because of a mission? Damn wrong!"

"Talkin' 'bout the blue pretty boy", Gajeel once again joined them, "he's here".

And indeed, through the guild doors, a very handsome (but very pale) Heavenly Body mage entered the hall, and noticing Laxus and the unusual company around him, he made his way towards them, smiling, though weakly.

"Hey, every-"

He was suddenly cut out by a very crazed looking Laxus, who let Gray and Natsu go (more like threw them away), and started clinging to a very confused Jellal.

"Dude, these two weaklings ('Hey', they protested, but their protest was ignored) were complaining about how poor they were when their wives had those measly mood swings and threw tiny, non-life threatening tantrums and were just a bit obnoxious and, and…

Jellal, having figured out what was happening, and deciding that he needed to help his friend pull himself together, grabbed Laxus by his face, and looked him straight into the eyes.

"Laxus! Calm down! Breathe, man!"- He shook the blond lightly and Laxus seemed to start relaxing. "It's okay! Just remember – in less than two months, you'll get the most beautiful present, your baby, and your wife will come back to normal again, and everything will be great! Right?"

He said that with such a wide smile and such honesty in his eyes, that everyone had to stop what they were doing to admire this man who was obviously as tired as Laxus, but he still managed to look at everything positively, with great strength showing. It was hard to believe that just a year or two ago, he was still refusing to be with Erza, because of his sins. Just as Laxus was about to nod and agree with him, the guild doors opened once again, this time, allowing two she-demons to enter the hall.

"LAXUS DREYAR!" – yelled the first, white haired demon, her belly not making her look any cuter at all.

"JELLAL FERNANDES!" – shouted the other one, and Jellal couldn't help but feel that the red hair he loves so much, now just adds to the terrifying effects her face is emitting.

The guild went silent for a moment, not wanting to upset the two expectant (and dangerous) women before them, until the blue haired man spoke up.

"On second thought, I could just activate my meteor and get us THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" – he screamed, preparing to flee right away.

"Yeah, you do that!" – The Lightning Dragon Slayer agreed, his face turning completely white.

They tried to run away before their better halves noticed them, but it was too late, and they had to witness their wives crying because of relief ("I thought you left me!"), then throwing tantrums because "You don't love me anymore!", then getting angry because the guys left without waiting for them, until they were practically kicked out of the guild and sent for some food (of course, Jellal was buying strawberry cake). Natsu and Gray, having seen the things Laxus and Jellal go through, decided to kiss their girls as soon as they saw them (both Lucy and Juvia were pleasantly surprised). Gajeel looked towards Levy's direction with a tint of fear in his eyes, but Levy smiled and reassured him that she was definitely not going to be like Erza and Mira.

When everything was over at last, Laxus and Jellal decided that one kid was more than enough.

As if their wives ever listened to them.

A/N: There! I hope this story made you laugh at least a bit, or maybe lifted your spirits! :) Thanks for reading!