This is not good. Why am I here?

I open my eyes groggily only to be faced with a wall that is most definitely not mine and you can imagine my shock when I try to get up but two strong arms wrapped around me destroy any hope I had of leaving the bed.

I'm kind of afraid to turn around, I really don't want to see Takano's face right now. Mainly because I know if I look at him I'll lose any resolve to leave the bed. His sleeping face is just too cute.

No.

No I didn't fucking think that, you're delusional. Takano's a monster who only uses me for his pleasure, monster's aren't cute. Look up monster in the dictionary and you'll just find a picture of Takano. Yes, yes, he's a beast.

In bed too~

"Aaarrrrggghhhh." I quietly yell as I attempt to pull out my hair. Bad Ritsu! BAD!

Takano stirs slightly and in doing so, loosens his superhuman grip on me. Yes, this is my chance.

I gently remove Takano's tone arm -no, not tone, his arm is definitely not toned- and try to wiggle my way out of the bed. But just as I reach the edge, Takano's arm suddenly regains his strength and pulls me back to his...shirtless chest. Takano's chuckles a little whilst I try to squirm my way out, but even now I know it's no use.

"Where do you think you're going, Ritsu?" Takano breathes into my ear and I instinctively pull away from his mouth, but the only way my body could go was towards Takano's chest even more, so that's what I did. It's better than him whispering into my ear using the same voice he does when we hav-. I need a spray bottle of water to use on myself every time I even get close to thinking about that.

"Preferably to my own apartment. Seeing as my clothes are in there and you're not." I wiggle my body downwards so he can't see my face which is probably acting as a heating pack for his chest. But instead of letting me go, Takano pulls me closer and buries his face in my hair and hums.

"I see." His voice resonates from the top of my head like an electric shock down to my...nope.

"Isn't that the point where you let me go?" It's useless to even suggest, but it's not like trying could make anything worse.

"But it's too cold to sleep alone, and we don't have work today, so there's no rush." Takano's body wraps around me, and I hate to admit it but he's right. It's so warm in here even though it's winter. But that still doesn't excuse his childlike behaviour, even if it is a little cute.

You know what, I'm going to ignore that, I never said that so it's fine.

Soon enough, I just give up and cuddle into him a bit more for more warmth. And me being the stupid idiot I am, I make the mistake to look up because curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to see what kind of face Takano's making. And of course my heart ends up beating out of my chest when I see his eyes staring down at me gently and a smile on his face. No, not his smirk that he likes to use 99% of the time around me (the other 1% is a frown) but no, it's a gorgeous, loving smile.

If I'm going to be truthful to myself, and I always am, I'd love to lean up and kiss him right here and now. And although the thought makes me blush as usual, this time I want it for myself, not because he did anything to me.

The thought scares me to hell though.

"Ritsu." Takano mumbles and strokes the side of my face and I involuntarily lean into his soft touch. My action catches Takano off guard and his hand pauses for a moment before resuming the calming pattern.

I can't believe that I'm actually feeling how I am. A warm heat spreads throughout my whole body, especially my cheeks. But right now I don't care, the only thing I can think about is Takano's lips on mine, his gentle yet firm rhythm. But Takano doesn't catch on with my thoughts, he always does when I don't want him to so why not now? He just casually keeps his eyes closed but continues to stroke my hair slowly.

It kind of pisses me off.

The one time I actually want you to kiss me and you don't, I'm not going to make the first move mister, otherwise my thoughts will be revealed.

I'm just a whole sack full of contradictions aren't I? Fuck me.

The urge for Takano's lips just continues to grow and before I know it. I lean up and press my lips against the Monster's. His eyes fly open, showing more shock than when I leant into his hand. But of course, he quickly recovers -which makes me a little mad, why can't he stay shocked for more than 2 seconds?- and grips me hard. His lips move against mine at a pace that leaves no room for air.

After making out with Takano for...I don't even know how long we were doing it for, but it was a looong time, we eventually stopped after my lips began to bruise. Although I couldn't feel any pain, Takano looked out for me even in this aspect.

The thought makes my heart flutter and suddenly the spray bottle feels like a horrible idea. I'm allowed to have these thoughts about him...right? Thoughts like how his body perfectly fits with mine, or how his eyes stare at me lovingly, or even how his hands roam my body every time we get intimate as if that will be the last time he gets to hold me.

Is it so wrong to love him?

…

Love?

Do I love Takano? Can I say I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Can I say I want to wake up every morning wrapped up in each other's arms. Does the idea of having him all to myself make me smile? Does he make me smile?

The answer to all of those is yes. But he doesn't love me back. I'm just a toy to him, someone that he will throw away as soon as he gets bored off me.

A sick feeling in my stomach washes over me and tears prick at my eyes. This is why I was always so scared, unrequited love is the worst. It makes someone feel even more lonely and useless. I feel my body about to start shaking, and I can't let Takano see me like this. I swallow the lump in my throat and use the rest of my stability to talk.

"Takano, I'm meeting with my cousin today, so I need to leave to go get ready." I blink away the tears threatening my eyes and look up at the man I love. He uses his killer smile on me, resulting in my heart acting as if I just ran a marathon.

"Alright, Ritsu." Takano releases his hold on me after kissing my on the forehead gently. I get up and collect my things from around the floor and rush out of the room.

Don't kiss me like that. Don't look at me like that. Don't make me fall for you even more. Please.