A/N: This 2-shot takes place during 4x20 (The Limey). Thank you, Lou, for trusting me with this prompt.

Dia: Thank you for your support and invaluable advice with this story. You are an awesomesauce beta and even more awesomesauce friend.

Kbex9: Thank you for the beautiful cover. I love you.

Prompt: What if Castle hadn't been behind the mirror in 47 Seconds? How would that change Lanie & Kate's girl talk and Kate's subsequent approach?

Disclaimer: Don't own them.

"The truth is rarely pure and never simple."

Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

"Castle said he wanted to talk during the bombing case, but we got interrupted. And when I suggested drinks after the case, he needed to get home to Alexis and I haven't heard from him since. I just don't know what's going on, Lanie," Kate says as she finishes pouring wine for them.

They'd finally managed to have a girls' night and, as usual, Lanie had asked about Castle right after stepping into Beckett's apartment. For once the detective is happy about her friend's curiosity, because she's been dying to talk about her partner's confusing behavior. So, instead of trying her normal evasive tactics, Kate recounted the events of the last few days.

"Do you believe him? That he wasn't just using Alexis as an excuse to avoid talking to you?" Lanie asks, but Kate is shaking her head even before the ME finishes her question.

"He seemed to be genuinely sorry that he couldn't come. And I understand he wanted to get home to Alexis, because she took the case really hard. But I expected he would have called or at least texted me afterwards."

"Well, have you tried contacting him?" Lanie asks with a knowing smirk when Kate averts her eyes.

"No, but he was the one who wanted to talk. Besides, I already invited him for drinks. It's his turn now," she says and tries not to grimace at how childish she sounds.

"You two are the biggest idiots I've ever met," Lanie scoffs. "Look, the guy is obviously crazy about you and despite your little act, you're crazy about him. Nuh-uh, don't even try to deny it," she continues when Kate opens her mouth to retort.

"Lanie…"

"I know, you're dealing with stuff. But Kate, you've come such a long way since the summer. And I've seen how much you've opened up in the last few years since the Writer Boy came along. Don't you think he could help?" Lanie asks and Kate really can't deny her friend's logic.

"And don't even start with that it's his turn crap. We're not in kindergarten, so you know full well how ridiculous that sounds. Now, are you going to call him or do I need to dial the number for you?"

"You want me to call him now? It's already pretty late and you were the one complaining that we haven't had a girls' night in ages," Kate tries to reason, and then hurriedly grabs her phone when Lanie reaches for it.

"Girl, I swear if you don't call him right this second, I'mma-"

Lanie's threat ends abruptly when the phone in Beckett's hand starts ringing. The timing is almost too perfect and the women share a look before turning to the device.

Kate sighs softly at the sight of the familiar number flashing on the screen and lifts the phone to her ear.

"Beckett," she answers and rolls her eyes at Lanie's disappointed groan as she writes down the address dispatch gives her.

She ends the call and hurries - she won't use the word escape - to her bedroom to change, but Lanie isn't one to give up so easily.

"Don't think you were saved by the bell, Kate Beckett. As your friend, I'm not gonna let this drop," she says when Beckett returns.

"I wouldn't expect anything less from you," Kate says with mock seriousness as she clips on her badge and checks that her gun is secured in its holster. Once sure that she has everything, Beckett ushers her friend out of the apartment, girl talk put on hold by an unspoken agreement.

"So, you think I should tell him how I feel?" Kate asks as they're walking from her car to the scene - a rent-by-the-hour kind of hotel - breaking her own decision to table the conversation until later.

"Yes!" Lanie's immediate answer is loud enough to turn the heads of a few of the unis near them. Kate glares at the ME but the shorter woman is not intimidated by The Look, simply keeping her eyes trained on the detective until she cracks.

"Fine. I just have to find the right time to do it," Kate huffs but Lanie only lifts her eyebrow. "I'll tell him, I promise, but it's not something you confess over a corpse," Kate says and ignores the little voice - that sounds suspiciously like Lanie - in her head, yelling Excuses! Excuses!

If she's completely honest, she's terrified of the conversation they need to have. Admitting she has feelings for him is easy compared to the other confession she needs to make.

"No time like the present," Lanie singsongs when a cab pulls up next to them and Castle climbs out. Kate sends another ineffective glare in her friend's direction, but the ME is already walking away.

Pushing her personal issues aside, she moves to follow. Right now the victim is her priority.

"You want some coffee?" She walks to her kitchen without waiting for his answer, hoping to escape the sudden awkwardness.

The case at a standstill for the night, she had finally gathered up the courage to invite Castle to her place - Lanie's pointed looks helping her along.

She didn't want to start the conversation in the car and was content to fall back into their normal routine of shooting down his crazy theories. But now they're in her apartment, she finds she doesn't know how to begin. She needs a moment to gather her thoughts and starts grabbing coffee supplies to stall.

"What's going on, Beckett? What did you want to talk about?" Castle's quiet voice startles her out of her musings.

Her moment of solitude is over, yet she still has no idea what to say. She's imagined this situation countless times but now that the moment is here, the words she'd rehearsed have disappeared. How is she supposed to tell her best friend that she has lied to him for months?

"During the bombing case, you talked about the lost opportunities and how you don't want that to happen to you." At his nod, she continues, "I think I know what you were going to say, but before you do, I need to tell you something."

He says nothing and it's not really helping her nerves. She wants to close her eyes, but that would be cowardly. So she keeps her eyes steady on his and takes the plunge.

"I lied... When you asked if I remembered anything about the shooting."

People say that telling the truth, especially after lying for such a long time, feels liberating. But there's no feeling of freedom for Kate - no weight lifted off her shoulders. Instead, an iron-clad fist closes around her heart as she watches the emotions play across his face - first curiosity, then shock and hurt and finally anger.

"You li-... You mean... you remember? Everything?" The words come out as a harsh whisper, and his eyes are wide with incredulity. "How long?"

"What do you mean, how long?"

"I mean, when did you remember? How long have you lied to me? Did you remember when I came to see you at the hospital?" his voice is getting louder with every question.

"Yes… Well, no. It was all a jumble in my head then. I wasn't sure what was real and what was dream. But when I saw you and you asked if I remember, I was pretty sure it was real." She hates what her words do to him, how cold his eyes become. But she needs to tell the whole truth. He deserves to know it all.

"And yet you decided to lie and disappear for three months," he says and the disappointment is crushing her.

"Castle, you have to understand. I was so confused and scared. There was a sniper after me," she tries to explain. "And I wasn't sure if you really meant the words. For all I knew, they were something you said in the heat of the moment."

"If I really meant them? Beckett, we'd been partners for three years. Don't tell me you were that oblivious. Just because you hide in meaningless relationships, doesn't mean we all do. Speaking of… Why did you and the Doctor Boy break up? I thought he was perfect for having that one foot out the door." His voice is laced with snark and she can't help but respond in kind.

"You're one to talk. You're always strutting around with bimbettes and celebutants, so how was I supposed to know you saw me as anything other than a conquest?" she fires back, ignoring his question about Josh.

"Seriously, Beckett! When was the last time I've done that? I even turned down Natalie Rhodes for you. I don't do one night stands anymore. You know that."

"Oh, that's right. Can't forget your serious relationship with your ex-wife slash publisher. Tell me, did she agree to go skinny dipping with you? Is that why you took her to the Hamptons?" The words coming out surprise even her. At this point she has no control over her mouth.

"Oh, that's really mature, Beckett. Need I remind you that I only invited her because you were with Mr. Super Cop?"

She scoffs at the nickname. "I broke up with Tom and was going to accept your invitation. But then Gina showed up, promising to stay on top of you for the whole summer." She rolls her eyes at the memory.

"How was I supposed to know that you weren't together anymore?"

"Well, maybe if you'd waited for more than five minutes before calling your ex, you would've found out."

"So, you're saying this is all my fault? You lied because I've made some bad choices in the past? It bothers you that I'm human, just like everyone else?"

Oh God, how could this have gone so wrong? She's tired - they both are - and her nerves are running high, so the words are not coming out right. Kate takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself down and attempts to steer the conversation back on the right track.

"No, I'm not saying that. If you'd just let me explain. Please, Castle, just listen…"

"What? What else could you have to say? Oh right, the real reason behind your lie. You want me to listen so you can tell me that it's not you, it's me? That you didn't say anything because you didn't want to hurt me? I'm not stupid, Beckett. I get the point without the clichés."

"No, Rick, please…" But she gets no further when Castle turns around and strides to her front door. He yanks it open and steps to the hallway before Kate manages to react.

"Goodbye Beckett," he says without looking back, the finality in his tone leaving no room for doubt.

And then he's gone, the door slam echoing loudly in the apartment, drowning out the words she whispers.

"I love you."

TBC