AN: welcome to the wonderful world of shapeshifting! : D

Bananabird's over there writing stuff like the prank chronicles and I'm stuck over here... where this is about the funniest thing I can come up with on my own. *_*

I can brainstorm for PC like nobody's business. But on my own? Never been very good at it. ah well. : P Enjoy!

/You know, I thought we made it extremely clear last time that we are not good at this special ops stuff./ Sunstreaker groused silently to his brother as he peered around a corner in the Decepticon base.

/Yeah, well, maybe this time Prime will listen to us and not let Jazz sign us up for any more of this slag./ Sideswipe replied, trying to wait patiently for his yellow twin to see the signal. He turned to check down the hall they were in and suddenly came nose to chestplate with a very large, reddish-brown mech. The bot was leaning casually against the wall close enough to be uncomfortable and he was smirking down at Sideswipe with a fair amount of amusement in his true red optics. How in the world he'd gotten there without either of them hearing him was a mystery, but Sideswipe sent his brother an alert as he looked up and up to the mech's faceplates, mouth hanging slightly open. The bot had to be at least Grimlock's size, maybe bigger.

We are so slagged. The red twin thought to himself.

"You boys look a little lost." The Decepticon said. "Need a hand?"

Before either twin could do something there was a shout and laser discharge from the other hall as Jazz attacked the guards Sunstreaker had been watching. Seems like their signal had come and gone while they'd been distracted. They were supposed to jump out and help, but it seemed they had a bigger problem. The mech glanced up at the noise and both of them pulled their guns on him. He didn't even seem to notice.

"Excuse me." He said, nodding to them, and stepped around them and around the corner in two long strides.

"Hey!" Sunstreaker objected, moving to attack, and ran face first into the 'Con's open palm with some amount of force, ending up flat on his back.

"You two just stay here, this'll be over in a moment." He told them, flashing a wink at Sideswipe, and as he turned the armor on his shoulder shifted just enough to let half of a red insignia show.

Sunstreaker scrambled to his feet snarling, but his brother snatched him back. "Wait, I think he's one of ours."

As the brothers watched, the mech sprinted down the hall toward the fight, both arms transforming into large hammers that he swung with gusto, crumpling the first Decepticon's chestplate and sending him crashing into another guard before whirling to slam the other down on top of another 'Con's head as he went hand-to-hand with Jazz. Then both of them turned on the last two guards, pulled their respective guns from subspace, and shot them.

"You can't touch this." The huge bot said, and as if on cue music filled the hall and both special ops launched enthusiastically into the dance that went with it while Sideswipe and Sunstreaker looked on in confusion.

That went on for a few seconds before the red mech said, "Stop!"

The door next to them slid open to admit a Decepticon who clearly had no idea what was going on and both Autobots grinned at him, the larger transforming his arm again.

"Hammer time." He said, and then smashed the 'Con's head against the door with his hammer before launching back into the dance with Jazz until the music said 'stop!' again. Jazz reached out and high-fived the mech, still grinning.

"Dude, where've you been? We waited almost five breems for ya."

The bot shrugged. "Got held up listening to Starscream whine for a while. You two coming?" he called down to the twins, who hurried to catch up as the other two special ops mechs strolled further down the hall toward the door they'd been trying to break into. "Good to see you again, Jazz." He said, clapping a hand on the much smaller mech's shoulder and causing him to stumble with the gesture.

"Yeah, you too." Jazz returned. "Been here for how long now?"

The mech shrugged. "Only a decaorn, but it feels like longer. I'm looking forward to finally coming home with you guys."

"I'll bet you are." Jazz agreed, starting to inspect the keypad on the door.

The twins had caught up by then and the red-brown mech turned to regard them with a teasing grin. "So how'd a couple of front-liners like you two end up on this mission?" he asked.

They both eyed him mistrustfully. "Ask Jazz, he's the one that requested us." Sideswipe told him. "And who are you?"

"You can call me Hematite for now." He told them, amusement flashing in his red optics again.

"Alright, my fine friend, work your magic." Jazz said, drawing their attention back to the task at hand.

Hematite took his place at the keypad. "It's hardly magic, Jazz." He said, typing in a passcode. The door popped open and they stepped inside to find a single computer terminal in the small room. "I suggest you hurry, Shockwave will catch on soon and we don't want to still be here when he does." The mech suggested, turning back to start dragging the dead Decepticons inside with the twins' help and then guarding the door.

"Roger that." Jazz said, inserting a data chip and starting to download everything he could. It took almost ten minutes to get everything, and they weren't disturbed in all that time because, for whatever reason, nobody who passed the door seemed to want to stick around and ask questions while Hematite was standing there with his hammers out, leaning casually against the wall.

"Alright, let's boogie." Jazz said as he took the last data chip out. They closed the door on the bodies, where they wouldn't be discovered for a while, and Hematite led the way out of the base, to a back exit that let out into Cybertron's underground. They were only stopped once, and the Decepticon was dealt with swiftly and quietly. The alarms went off less than a minute before they got out, but nobody was watching the back door as Hematite had assured them.

As they left the frantic base behind, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker held a silent conversation behind the two special ops.

/Is it just me, or was that way too easy?/ Sideswipe asked.

/Yeah, that seemed a little too perfect./ his twin agreed.

Suddenly both found Hematite standing directly in front of them, one hand on his hip, other hand planted on the tunnel wall, blocking their way with a wolf-like grin. "Is there a problem, boys?" he asked smoothly.

Sunstreaker glared suspiciously up at the huge mech. They had a silently intense staring contest for several seconds while Sideswipe glanced around.

"Where is Jazz?" he asked, interrupting them.

"I dealt with him while you weren't looking." Hematite said, grin widening. "Now it's your turn."

Both of them started back-pedaling, pulling their guns with alarm, and Hematite laughed heartily.

"I'm just yanking your chains, boys." He said, waving them off and turning away.

"Then where's Jazz?" Sideswipe demanded tensely, not lowering his gun.

"Yeah, you had your fun now, Star, so let me off the ceiling." Jazz said from above them, and all three mechs looked up to see the third in command standing on the ceiling as if it was the floor, arms crossed and looking down at them with a smirk. Hematite held out his arms and the bot came abruptly unstuck, landing squarely in the red mech's arms.

"So good of you to join us, Jazz." He quipped, and then slung him over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. "Now come along, I imagine people are waiting for us back at base."

Jazz let himself dangle. "Oh yeah, that's just hilarious." He said dryly as Hematite began striding down the tunnel again. "Pick on the little guy."

"WAIT." Sunstreaker said, in such a way that everybody turned to him with questioning looks, Jazz propping his chin in his hands and his elbows on Hematite's broad back. The yellow twin pointed at the white saboteur. "What did you just call him?"

Jazz grinned lopsidedly. "His real name."

"STAR?!" Sideswipe almost shrieked. The huge red mech laughed loudly as the twins' optics went painfully wide, almost identical gapes of disbelief on their faces, and then had to drop Jazz so he could bend double, still laughing. Jazz was snickering as well, watching the twins grapple with the concept.

"But…but…but…" Sideswipe complained, and then promptly fell over, which made Hematite-who-was-actually-Star laugh even harder and Jazz break out in hearty chuckles. Sunstreaker just kept staring in disbelief until Star got up and stepped over to pick up the red front-liner and sling him over his shoulder like he had Jazz. Still giggling, he patted Sunstreaker's shoulder and then gave him a gentle push in the right direction.

"But Star's a femme!" Sunstreaker finally finished his brother's thought.

"Usually, yes." The mech agreed, tapping the bewildered twin's helm. "But Star is also a shape-shifter and can be whatever she wants to be. Including a mech."

In a stunning lack of finesse, Sunstreaker tripped and faceplanted on his next step without even attempting to catch himself, which made Star snort in laughter again before leaning over and scooping the yellow twin up to join his brother on his other shoulder.

Star eyed the jaunty Third as he practically skipped along beside him. "I think you brought them just to see how they'd react." He accused.

Jazz grinned widely up at the huge bot. "Y'might just be on t'somethin' there, mech."

AN: Well, apparently I need to clarify a little here; that's my OC, Star. She's a mechformer (among other things... some of her origin story's up if you care).