Important note: I've been having serious issues with my computer so I'm taking this opportunity to upload everything I can to , completed or not so that everyone can at least have something to read.

Tags: Dark, Gore, Violence, Humor, Fem!Naruto, SI, OC Behavior, Abuse of multiple types, Death, Language

Disclaimer: Sadly nothing in this story belongs to me except perhaps what few original ideas there are.

AN: I've got a muse, at least for now, from reading a number of Darkpetal16's first person stories. There will also be heavy influence from some other stories including -but not limited to- Naruto One Man Army. The main goal for this story is likely to be Character development, it's never been my best skill but I'll be giving it my best shot and I hope you, my readers, enjoy it.

Now on with the actual attraction.

"Talking"

'Thinking/Thought Conversation'

"Jutsu"

"Bijuu Talking"

'Bijuu Thinking/Thought Conversation'

[MC First Person]

My health had never been the best. From when I was little I was prone to getting sick and as I grew older it only got worse. Between severe and chronic migraines, seizures, and other various issues, I was extremely limited in where I could go in life and what I could do. And now at the age of twenty-five, barely finished with my college education, I found myself laid out in a hospital bed, trying to square the newest revelation with my mind.

I was dying.

Sure it was something I had come to actually expect as I grew older and my illnesses got progressively worse, but to have a man in the standard blue hospital smok stand in front of you and tell you what was going to happen? It was...chilling, I think is the best word to describe it. We all know that we'll die eventually, but when someone gives you a time table saying 'hey you're going to die in six months' it really hits you.

It's about to end.

You're out of time.

You'll never see your loved ones again.

It hurt, not physically, but emotionally and mentally it hurt. I couldn't accept it, I didn't want to accept it. I still had things I wanted to do. Hell, I still had debts to pay off from college! The sheer fact that I wouldn't be able to make any use of my double degree, the masteries I'd worked so hard to achieve, was equally infuriating and depressing. I had years ago pushed most of my hobbies to the side, no longer permitted by my failing health, and now those were useless too.

It just left a hole in my heart to know everything I had accomplished was going to be pointless in the end.

And so I gave up.

It was pitiful, and in hindsight, cruel and wrong of me to do so. I could see the pain on my family's faces when they visited me, the tears they shed and the forced smiles they made as they watched me waste away before their very eyes.

And I hated it, and myself too, in hindsight.

I should have done better, I should have made them happier. I should have made it easier on them as they awaited the inevitable. And that will always be my greatest shame, that I didn't do all I could for them.

But as I closed my eyes for the last time, I let oblivion take me, falling away into the comforting blackness as all the aches and pains of my body faded with my life.

'It's strange' I thought, 'Shouldn't I be unable to feel anything if I just died?' I could feel that I was moving, jostling around a little as I was taken somewhere. There were sounds around me, cries of what I knew to be panic from my time in the hospital, the crackling of dry grass under foot, and shouting. The air carried the heavy scent of blood and ash, so strong that it was almost stifling as I began to move and struggle, now noticing the slightly rough cloth wrapped around my body, providing a comfortable warmth as I opened my eyes, just in time to look up at a smoke filled sky as the movement came to a halt as I felt a solid surface beneath my back as I squirmed in my now loosened constraints.

I could hear someone crying just outside my line of sight as a ghastly presence formed around me, a horrendous chill running down my spine despite my previous warmth as something faded into existence almost directly above me.

'WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!' I immediately thought.

Its enormous form was clad in some kind of loose fitting white cloth, with dark blue-gray skin covering its exposed and seemingly emaciated chest and its snarling face where a stick or something similar was clenched in between its jaws. Capping everything off was an enormous mane of white-blonde hair that only added to the being's disturbing appearance.

My fascinated horror only lasted a few more scant seconds before it was blocked by the face of a crying my hovering protectively above me. His hair was a bright, vivid yellow, the color of sunshine I briefly considered, before I lost myself in his eyes.

Oh those deep blue eyes. They were perhaps the most beautiful and enticing eyes I had ever seen, filled with emotions that I was struggling to comprehend; sadness, regret, anger, fear, and overwhelming everything else, love.

I couldn't understand why I was wherever I was. I couldn't understand why he was crying. I couldn't understand why he struck me as being almost infuriatingly familiar.

But I could understand what he was saying, and it chilled me to the core, even deeper than the presence of the creature hidden from my view. It is was the only thing I could distinctly remember for years to come.

"Forgive me, Noriko."

Things became hazy after the memory of the blonde man and creature. I could indistinctly remember a few things, playing with a worn down wooden blocks, looking through the faded and scuffed pictures that told some sort of tale of a valorous hero. I could remember other things too, but none of them were good.

I could recall an elderly woman with tears on her face yelling at me for spilling a bowl of food. I could remember the indistinct pain as a hand struck me across the face for some action I could not remember. It wasn't until I was what I now realize to be four years old that things became easier to remember and also became more permanent in my mind. And the first real memory that I could recall with clarity was the day the old woman threw me out of the orphanage on my fourth birthday.

I scrambled away, frantic to avoid another beating like I had been given just before being tossed out, before disappearing into a nearby alleyway. I ran and ran as far and as fast as my little legs could carry me not noticing any of minor cuts appearing on my bare feet as I fled. Bolting from one shadow to the next I moved farther from the orphanage, slinking between buildings till my lack of attention caught up with me and my foot caught on some crevice in the ground to send me sprawling across the dirty ground and into a pile of garbage.

I shivered as I pulled myself together, struggling to my hands and knees before I pulled myself up a nearby wall and began to cry.

I knew I was better than my current behavior. More mature and developed. Smarter. But at the moment, I just couldn't stop. I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them, dropping my head to rest it on my knees as I sobbed.

I don't know why I was acting in such a manner but my best guess was that it was the cumulative result of all the vague mistreatment I had suffered in the orphanage.

But that wasn't important to me at the moment and was just a hazy side thought before a passed out.

I wasn't sure how long I had slept, but as I came back to consciousness I could feel a vague heat across my dirty skin as I opened my eyes, only to slam them shut at the light coming from ahead of me.

I opened my eyes again a moment later -much more slowly this time- and covered them slightly with a hand, shielding my sight a bit more until I had adjusted to the light. It took what felt like ages to adjust but was likely only a few seconds before I opened by eyes fully, taking in the rays of an early morning sun and sight of a filthy alley around me.

A frown shaped my lips as I took in my surroundings, looking down to inspect my own grubby form, clothes in a filthy, faded, and over sized white shirt. In that moment I decided that a cleanup was absolutely in order for my tiny form. I began moving to find somewhere to get clean or something to use to do so, only to force that down my to-do list as my stomach gave a loud grumble and snarl, instantly cuing me in to my more immediate need: food.

I wasn't sure how well I was going to do on my own with nothing, but that was something to figure out later. Worst comes to worst I figured I could steal what I needed. With that decision in mind, I retraced my path down the alleyway and onto to a main road, silently thankful for the early morning quiet and the lack of people out at this -apparently- early hour.

As I followed my nose, having picked up a relatively attractive scent, I took careful note of the glares and scowls people made as they caught sight of me and the vile grumbles they made as soon as they thought I was out of earshot. The creative words they strung together really were pretty impressive in my mind given what I had seen, heard, and read on the inter-

Everything in my mind ground to a screeching halt as I looked up. My eyes trailing over the mountain before me as it registered in my mind. There were four faces carved into the mountain and as I looked and stared I couldn't tear my gaze away.

I knew those faces. It had been a long while since I had seen them inked out across a page, but I recognized them: the four Hokages, their visages engraved in stone for posterity.

I couldn't help but laugh at the sight, my eyes wide and a ludicrous smile on my face as I stared at them.

People glowered and glared and muttered louder as I laughed uncaring about their presence around me. I laughed until I I could barely breathe, making my way over to a building to lean against it as I laughed.

It wasn't a joyous laugh or a pained one, or even a dark chuckle.

No this was the laugh of someone who had realized exactly how fucked they were and knew there was nothing they could do about it.

Everything was coming together and I realized what had happened. By some cosmic quirk, by some twist of fate, or the act of some mad god, I had ended up within the world of one of my favorite mangas.

Naruto.

And now I knew why people glared.

I was the main character.

In that instant, only one thought came to me. It wasn't the absurdity of the situation nor the impossibility of it.

No all I could think was this.

'Fuck. My. Life.'

[Sarutobi Third Person]

-Two Years Later-

"I'm not apologizing."

At those words Sarutobi let out a heavy sigh as he brought up his hands to rub his temples in a vain attempt to fight off an inevitable headache, one brought on by the young girl sitting across his desk from him.

"Noriko-" he began tiredly.

"I said I'm not apologizing Jiji. If those people want to rob me then they can't complain when I return the favor."

"Noriko, listen to me," He attempted again, locking his eyes onto his surrogate granddaughter's. Despite the seriousness of the situation, he couldn't help but find it humorous the way she had been delivered to his office, trussed up thoroughly in rope after having lead ANBU on a three and a half hour chase across Konoha. Her golden-blonde hair was messy and dirty, and one of her usual twin-tails had come undone. The bright orange jumpsuit she wore was scuffed and dirty with more than a few tears, and finally her face was formed into a rather serious, if still adorable, pout with her vivid blue eyes focused intently on him. Her latest action of protest had been to steal back the money she had been overcharged by a shop, and in the process she had painted the entirety of the store's surfaces a bright, eye-burning orange as retaliation.

Bringing himself back to the moment, and the lack of protest from Noriko, Sarutobi continued speaking, "Noriko-chan. while I understand that the store severely overcharged you, the fact remains that you cannot simply take the law into your own hands. We have police and ANBU for a reason after all."

"Jiji, that's pointless, and you know it. The police will never help me and ANBU only ever come if I'm the one causing trouble."

He didn't have a reply to that and at his silence Noriko just continued speaking.

"Jiji, by stealing from me, they violate the law and remove themselves from its protection. Since they have done that, there is no crime. No one objects to hurting missing-nin, people who have done the same though to a greater extent."

And there it was, the solid, if slightly stretched, logic that Noriko used to defend her actions. It wasn't as if he could truly fault her for such things as getting back the money villagers extorted out of her. And make no mistake, it was extortion, forcing her to pay two, three, and sometimes even four times the actual value of something in order to purchase it, to say nothing of the quality of the items in question.

'Minato...you must be rolling in your grave right now...' He thought sullenly. His successor/predecessor had left a final wish that his daughter be seen as a hero, sacrificing herself to keep back the dreaded Kyuubi.

But they didn't. They ignored the final wish of the Yondaime Hokage and worked to make life as terrible as possible for the young girl, unknowing of the fact that she was the fourth hokage's legacy.

And that was exactly why she would be getting off with only a verbal warning from him and some additional resentment from the village.

He hated it. All of it.

He hated that the village and the councils would ignore him so completely. He hated that she was singled out for something she had no choice in.

And most of all he hated that he couldn't protect her.

Two years ago Noriko had disappeared from the orphanage he placed her in when he could not find a suitable person to raise her. A visit by Inoichi had seen the matron in charge telling them what had happened to her, and what a learning experience that had been. Courtesy of the Yamanaka's mind walking technique, He and a few others had heard just what little, adorable, innocent Noriko had been enduring. Beatings. Starvation. Neglect, both physical and mental. The list had just gone on and on until they had learned that the Matron had thrown the young girl out into the streets just a few days prior to his visit.

Immediately he had tasked ANBU with searching the entire village from top to bottom for any trace of Noriko, but beyond a strange siting of her laughing out in the middle of the road at the Hokage monument the day she had disappeared, they had seen neither hide nor hair of her.

And that was how it continued for the next year, with only a sharp spike in break in's and thefts to signify that anything untoward was going on.

And then on October tenth Neko, an ANBU agent had reported to him in the middle of a meeting with Danzo that they had found her.

The memory still haunted him.

-Flashback-

Deep in discussion with Danzo over the subject of his old partner's desire to resume ROOT, Sarutobi had shot an immediate glare of annoyance at an ANBU agent that had just appeared via shunshin a little bit off to the side of his desk.

"Neko," he began, his tone slightly cold, "Why are you interrupting?" In his mind, anything that prolonged a meeting with the old war hawk was something that had to be avoided if at all possible.

Overcoming her fear at his tone and the slight amount of Killing Intent Sarutobi was releasing, Neko finally found her voice which was slightly shaky at the beginning as she replied, "Ho-Hokage-sama, we found her."

It took only a moment for it to register before he felt his old eyes open wide as he abruptly stood up.

"I'm sorry Danzo-dono," he said swiftly, pulling on his hat from the corner of the desk, "But we'll need to continue this later. I need to attend to this."

Danzo certainly wasn't pleased with this to be sure, but he gave a reluctant nod before Sarutobi turned his attention back to Neko asking, "Where is she?"

"The hospital, I will lead you to her room Hokage-sama."

"Who is with her now?"

"Inu and Weasel."

"Good, now lead, Neko."

Instantly the female ANBU nodded before they both vanished with shunshin, leaving behind only a swirl of leaves.

"What is her condition?" He demanded as a doctor stepped out of the ICU room Noriko was being kept in.

The man visibly quailed before the furious hokage, taking several attempts to stutter out a reply as he said, "S-She's healing r-rapidly, w-which we suspect is the result of the demon's chakra flowing through her system. Three of her broken bones are already almost healed and the rest aren't far behind. M-most of her internal organs have fully recovered and the rest s-should be finished within the hour."

"...you said there were multiple broken bones and damaged organs, how many total?" He asked, his voice soft but razor sharp.

The doctor whimpered out a number.

His eyes narrowing dangerously, Sarutobi struggled to reign in his temper before he killed the innocent man in front of him.

"...There's more isn't there?" He whispered softly, a cold stone of dread growing his gut as the doctor shook like a leaf in front of him in sheer terror.

At this point, Inu stepped forward, likely in an attempt to save the poor doctor's life as he whispered out an answer, his voice heavy with grief.

"She was raped Hokage-sama...repeatedly going by the results of the examination."

-End Flashback-

He had had sixteen people executed for that incident, two of which were ANBU who had willingly left the area after having come to investigate the ruckus in the area. The incident haunted his darkest dreams and he couldn't help but remember her laying there broken and unconscious in that hospital bed.

His further, darker, thoughts were stopped though as Noriko popped her bindings loose, letting them fall off her body as she reached up and began pulling her hair back up into its usual style as she said, "Stop thinking about it Jiji, remembering it isn't going to help either of us right now."

A small frown played across his face at her words before he sighed saying, "I suppose you're right."

"Of course I am."

Sarutobi couldn't help the chuckle as he looked at Noriko's face where she wore a grin that could only be described as 'foxy'.

"Then what do you want to stop doing this, Noriko? While I'll admit you are getting caught far less often, the number of complaints that I receive about mysterious break in's has only gone up over time."

His surrogate granddaughter was silent, seemingly deep in thought before she finally replied, "I want two things. First I want access to the proper scrolls to learn Fuinjutsu."

His grip on his pipe tightened slightly at this.

"And second I want to learn the Kage Bushin."

Now he was really frowning. How she even knew about the latter was troubling enough given it was sealed away in the Forbidden Scroll, but the potential uses for it were threatening enough mayhem that he was doubtful that the village would still be standing afterwards.

"The first is acceptable, however the Kage Bushin is too danger-"

"Don't give me that crap," Noriko cut across sharply, her eyes narrowing dangerously as she expressed her displeasure, "It's only dangerous due to Chakra Exhaustion and if we're both honest about it, we know I'm in no real danger from that."

He tried to hold her gaze and make her back down, he truly did, but he eventually gave in and sighed, standing up as he said, "Very well Noriko, let's go take care of the Kage Bushin first and then I'll see to it that supplies for you to begin learning Fuinjutsu are sent to your apartment."

"Awesome, thank you Jiji!" Noriko beamed. In an instant her disposition had become the usual sunny and cheerful exterior that she greeted most people with, the serious, cold shell disappearing as if someone had thrown a switch.

As the little trouble maker threw her arms around his waist in a hug, Sarutobi couldn't help but smile as he began to lead the way to the secure storage room saying, "now you will be telling me how you learned about the Kage Bushin in the first place, Noriko-chan."

"Shit."

"Language young lady."

"...Fine...I caught sight of Inu doing it at one of the training grounds."

On a rooftop across town, the silver haired ANBU called Inu suppressed a shiver of terror as the feeling that something terribly awaited him in the near future.

[MC First Person]

As I left the Hokage Tower, I folded my hands behind my head, whistling a tuneless song as I made my way back towards my apartment, eager to begin making use of my new jutsu as finally I could begin to get things under way.

'He caved a lot sooner than I thought he would.'

I snorted in reply, hardly surprised at the voice echoing through my thoughts.

'Indeed but you know what that means, Kyuubi-san, you gave your word after all.'

'Of course I know what it means, Brat. Unlike you disgusting humans I will never break my vows!'

I couldn't help but chuckle at just how easy it was to rile up the mighty nine-tailed Bijuu as I replied, 'Of course, of course. I meant no slight against you, merely a reminder to not forget.'

A snort rumbled through my mind in return as the Kyuubi replied, 'I'll begin teaching you next chance you can get outside the walls.'

'Good, I'll need to make a stop in the library and see what I can do about picking up some jutsu scrolls so my clones have something to practice while we work.'

'Good, if I'm going to be teaching you Brat, then I expect you to make full use of my time.'

'Of course Kyuu-bi-sen-sei~' I teased, immediately tuning out the stream of curses that came my way in return as I closed the door to my apartment behind me, a smile growing on my face as I spotted the Fuinjutsu supplies sitting on my table, just waiting for use.

Looks like I would have plenty of work ahead of me.

-One Week Later-

"Alright everyone, settle down," I called out loudly, settling into the large that resided at the head of my apartment's rickety table.

'I really can't believe you're doing this...'

'Quiet Kyuubi-san, I need serious second opinions and this is as good as it's going to get.'

A derisive snort was Kyuubi's response as I watched everyone else settled in, as soon as they were all settled I stood and began to speak.

"Ladies, I am proud to bring the first Council session to order. Before we begin giving opinions, I would like to hear the progress reports from each group, starting with the Cartographer."

Nodding my head to the clone to my immediate left, I took my seat and let her stand and speak.

"So far, we've successfully mapped every surface street and alleyway. We estimate we're about thirty percent through with the sewers, but we should have that done by the next meeting."

"How's the progress on finding a base of operations for us?" I asked.

"Slow," she replied, shaking her head with a touch of annoyance, "We've located about a dozen buildings we could use as depots and safe houses, but so far we haven't found anything that will fit our needs."

"Damn, anything unusual though?" Another clone asked.

"Hai, a few things. We've located the entrances to three old ANBU bunkers, but we can't get into them yet, nor do I think we should push our luck until we're farther along in Fuuinjutsu."

"Agreed, now what have you gotten so far Scavenger?" I asked, turning to the next clone who answered with a mischievous grin.

She stood as the Cartographer sat back down, "We've hit pay dirt. The forest was the best hit above all else given that they hold the Chuunin Exams there. So far we've recovered at least a five of six hundred shuriken and kunai, sixty or so swords, a few dozen storage scrolls -haven't been through those yet, we also need the results from the Fuinjutsu group so we can check for traps- about a seventy explosive notes, some long term ration kits, armor of a few different sorts, and a dozen other things that we're not sure about. We've also picked up a little under two hundred thousand ryo."

I couldn't help but grin at that.

"Where are we keeping this stuff?"

"We've spread out across three of the abandoned buildings the mapping group has found."

"Good, anything else to bring up?" I asked.

As she shook her head and gestured for the next clone to begin.

As she stood, I let my thoughts wander a little to consider just how close to canon I wanted to stay. I hadn't discussed my previous life with Kyuubi yet, and I was honestly unsure of when I would, hopefully it would be sooner rather than later, as the idea of having someone I could properly plan with was better than not.

And it would be far easier on my mind too to share that particular burden.

I returned my attention to Tai as she explained what progress -or lack thereof- that had been made so far on learning a proper style of taijutsu.

"Really, we just don't have the knowledge needed to properly practice any sort of defined style beyond the two we already know."

"What about that spandex monster, Gai is his name I think. Would he be willing to instruct us?" A clone asked, the question prompting me to answer.

"Probably, but I'd rather not go to him yet to be honest, at least not until we're in the academy. We most definitely do not want questions right now as to how we know what we do or perhaps who taught us it. After all, neither LINE nor Systema are normal to this world."

The others nodded in response to that logic, appeased by the answer as I closed my eyes and let memories pass through my mind. Memories of a happier time before my health had truly gone down hill, where my parents had been willing to let me sign up for classes for various martial arts in the hopes that the activity would improve my condition.

It didn't sadly, but the knowledge of how to fight was still ingrained within my mind.

"I think that for now the taijutsu group can just focus on practice and making sure that we get the muscle memory built up. Being able to defend ourselves is essential if we want to avoid a repeat of our fifth." I said softly, watching as my clones shuddered at the memory of our fifth birthday.

"Agreed, now let's move on to Ninjutsu."

Tai sat back down as Nin stood, a small, tentative smile on her face as she began speaking.

"So far, the results we have are good, great even perhaps. The affinity test showed wind as our primary with a tied secondary affinity for water and lightning."

That was odd, as far as I knew Naruto himself had only been wind with maybe some water, to already be a triple affinity was a boon to my cause.

"We've already got three fuuton down pat and two each for Suiton and Raiton. The extra clones to replace the ones that were running out of chakra was a god send. This next week we'll be trying to get down at least one Douton and one Katon."

"Good, Fuin, you're next."

Non returned to her seat as the aforementioned Fuin stood and began her briefing.

"So far it's coming easily, really easily in fact. We've already worked through most of the first two books Jiji gave us, but we've been slowed by a lack of proper materials. The money Scavenger has come up with will be much appreciated as soon as we can get some henged clones out there to pick up the needed supplies."

All of us were nodding, thankful for the advances as all of us were aware of just how important it was to get that skill up to scratch. Between an unstable Gaara we'd eventually have to deal with and the function of my own seal and a laundry list of other tasks, there was plenty to get done."

"Casualties have been a bit high but they're starting to taper of now that we've got the hang of the basics and that the boss has been good enough to keep our numbers stable."

"Good, Reccy, you're up."

'Reccy' stood with an exaggerated roll of her eyes to begin giving her report. Really the name had been a joke at the start, but the other clones had liked it enough that it stuck and so that was that. Granted it was weird giving yourself different nicknames and talking to yourself for extended conversations, but that was the price of the Kage Bushin.

"We've got clones out now testing the maximum range on the memory transfer, so far we haven't found a limit but we expect to eventually unless we can make some sort of a relay to insure that the knowledge gets passed along. On that subject, having the kawarimi down has been invaluable, it's tiring but we haven't found an upper limit on the range yet. Better still out chances of failing the jutsu go down almost exponentially as the distance goes up as the amount of chakra needed approaches something we can manipulate easier. Which also brings up to out next group."

Reccy sat heavily, obviously sulking as the next clone stood up.

"So far things are slow," Con began, "Getting out chakra control up is a nightmare and a half, just like we expected. Really it's only thanks to the sheer number of clones boss provided that were making decent progress. Best so far for holding the leaf to our forehead is a bit over ten minutes."

I, along with the rest of the clones, grimaced at that information.

"Still, we're making progress if slowly. If possible if like to request more clones from the boss to help move things along."

"I'll see it done," I replied, receiving a nod in return as Con sat back down.

"Any other issues ladies?"

All of them shook their heads as a grin split my face.

"Then the Council is adjourned, now let's get some ramen, Reccy, I think that falls under your purview."

"Will do," she replied, eagerness at going to Ichiraku's showing in her eyes.

AN: So that's the first chapter, please tell me what I did right and what I did wrong. I've never done much in the way of first person writing. So remember Reviews are Love.

And so like Darkpetal16, I'm gonna ask a question of you.

Question: who is your favorite fictional character?