Chapter Sixteen: Still Might as Well Enjoy

A bath had been exactly what she needed. Ash sighed, sinking contentedly down until only her head was above the water.

Bless Tanna.

Her thoughts, for once, were quiet and decidedly not bothering her while she bathed. She hummed tunelessly, dragged her hands in unknown patterns around the water's surface. She watched her fingers prune and smiled a little to herself. How long had it been since she had had a proper bath? Ash sighed. What she would do to get a shower. Maybe she could try it out with magic? With help…Dorian? She snorted. She didn't even know if they all knew about plumbing, much less enough to make a shower. If anyone would understand Ash when she spoke of the bliss that is a shower, it would have to be Dorian. Ash frowned when she realized the water was getting cold. She stared at her hands for a few seconds.

I have magic right? So I should be able to heat up water, right?

In theory, it seemed solid. So, Ash put her palms on the surface of the water and thought about it being hot. Nothing. She huffed. "Abracadabra?" she mumbled sarcastically. Not that she expected that to do anything, but she huffed again when nothing happened.

Life or death situations: sure, have all the magic you want! When you actually need something practical: Eh. Don't feel like it? Logic.

Ash closed her eyes and breathed in; trying to recall what Solas had tried to teach her. She focused on the point where her hands met the water and imagined them radiating heat outward, imagined the water getting hotter by degrees. She kept her breath even, stayed silent and focused for a few more of her heartbeats. Ash peeked from one eye and was filled with giddiness when she saw steam start to rise from the water.

HA. Take that.

She turned, raising her upper body from the water to grab for the bottle of soap sitting out on the floor. She barely registered the sound of her door creaking open. "Hey, so we wer—" Bull's rumbling voice came from the doorway before breaking off. Ash froze, bottle in hand and turned slowly. The bastard was standing there, obviously surprised, but as she turned, Ash saw his eye drop downwards. His face pulled into a shit-eating grin.

He let out a low whistle. "Nice," he chuckled. Ash's arm whipped forward, chucking the bottle at his head as the rest of her splashed back into the tub. Bull ducked, the bottle clattering to the floor. His booming laugh followed him as the door shut.

"Tavern!" he called through the door. "Come grab a drink."

"K-knock dammit!" she yelled out after him, blushing furiously. Ash dunked her head under the water. She'd have to find some way to lock that door.

She wandered around Skyhold, letting her hair air dry as she walked towards the tavern. Vivienne had gotten to her. She was here, she was stuck for the moment, and as far as she knew that's how it was going to be. She needed to start accepting that. Maybe try and make a life for herself? Ash sighed. She wanted to go home, there wasn't any way around that.

Maybe she should talk to Solas more. He might have been onto something when he mentioned her going through the Fade. Somehow. She wasn't sure, but it was better than doing nothing. A pang of despair started creeping on her.

Ash shook her head and clapped her hands onto her cheeks twice, slapping herself.

Get with it. You're here. You're staying. Maybe you can leave, but for now, you're here.

She looked up at the sky over Skyhold. She needed to find a hobby. One that wasn't electronic.

Varric seemed to hear her approach from where he stood near the training grounds. "Look who's decided to join us back in the light," he said and walked towards her, smiling. Ash smiled at him, didn't know what to say. Varric appeared to sober for a moment and he frowned. "You doing alright?" he asked. "You've been through a lot of shit recently and some of us were starting to worry."

Ash shook her head. "That's an understatement," she laughed. "But I'm as okay as I'm going to get. Just bored mostly. Missing electricity." She sighed.

Varric looked confused. "Electricity?"

Ash nodded. "Yeah, back home, you know, there's no magic," she said. "Instead we used technology and almost all of it needs electricity. You don't know how much you need it until it's gone." Her voice took on a wistful tone. Varric had started to walk towards the Herald's Rest, gestured for her to follow.

"Honestly, can't say I know what you mean," he said apologetically. "You haven't told us much about your world before now."

"No one's really asked," Ash replied. "But to be honest, I feel like I've been in shock until now. The past couple weeks are a bit of a blur."

There's another understatement.

Varric gave her a look full of sympathy. "Don't start falling apart on us. Look, I might not be the best at advice, but, you've got friends here. Me, Dorian…Bull." He grinned at her then. "Bull would probably –"

Ash shook her head, laughing. "Already with the teasing?"

"I can't help myself," Varric said. "You and Tiny? Never would have guessed."

"Sorry, but you might be disappointed," she said. "Nothing's really going on."

Varric raised an eyebrow. "Oh no, you're not going to fool me that easily. Storyteller, remember? And my story-telling senses are all a flutter on this. There's something. Don't know what, but something."

Ash snorted. "'All a flutter'? That's the best you can come up with?"

"Editing exists for a reason, Ghost."

The sound of laughter hit her ears right with the sort of musty, alcoholic smell that only taverns can achieve. But at least it was warmer in here. Bull and Sera were already sitting at a table. And so was…Sythari. Ash sighed. Varric looked at her.

"She feels bad, give her a chance," he said and nudged her towards the table. At her approach, Sythari's head turned up only for her to…blush? Almost immediately, at that. Ash watched as even her ears tinged pink before the Inquisitor looked back down at the table. Ash found herself frozen in place. She hadn't expected that.

"Ugh," Sera said. "Just kiss and make up already, yeah, Inky? Don't get all mopey. It's stupid."

Sythari looked back up. "Ash," she said. "I'm—Sorry. I didn't…I wasn't angry at you, just angry, but—"

Ash held up a hand. Honestly, it wasn't Sythari that had her moping. Oh no, Ash had no one to thank for that other than herself. "It's fine," she said. "I was being stupid too. Really stupid. I wasn't the only one having a hard time. I get it." She smiled. "I was being mopey on my own, it didn't really have anything to do with you." Sythari looked shocked for a moment and then she beamed at Ash. She was blown away at how relieved the Inquisitor seemed in that moment. It was…Ash didn't know what it was.

"Enough with the mushy shite," Sera said. "Let's drink, already, Creepy."

Ash raised an eyebrow, moving closer to the table. She decided to ignore Bull's wink for the moment. And Varric's resulting snort. "Creepy? Me?" she asked, sitting next to Sythari. "I thought Cole was 'Creepy.'"

"Yeah, but you have that 'other world' whatever, and you're creepy too," Sera said indignant. "Both of you are creepy."

Ash laughed. "Sera, it sounds like you're scared of little ol' me," she teased.

Sera snorted. "Arrows," she said decisively. "Try anything funny and it'll be arrows."

"Aw," Ash said. "I really feel the love."

Varric laughed, placed a mug in front of Ash. "Buttercup here is all bark, hardly any bite."

"I'll show you bite," Sera retorted and poked a skinny finger into Varric's face.

"Oh, dirty," Ash mumbled and got a laugh out of Iron Bull in response.

"What?" Sera said, wrinkling her nose. "Blecch! Not that way!"

Varric slapped a hand over his heart. "Right here. That's where it hurts."

Ash took a long swig of her beer, fading into the background as she listened to Varric and Sera's bickering continue. She hummed tunelessly, not out loud, and soaked the warmth of the tavern in.

"—ey," Varric said. Ash snapped up to him. He grinned. "Like I was saying, you were just telling me about your world. I'm not letting you get out of this one."

"You just want to turn it into some story," Ash said.

Varric shrugged. "Can you blame me?" he asked. "It's just the right amount of un-believability to make a good story."

Ash sighed, realizing they weren't going to back down. Varric had started it, but everyone was looking at her. Even Sera, though it seemed like she was making a piss-poor attempt at pretending she wasn't interested. Ash took another gulp of the beer. She frowned, stared at it. Had it always tasted this terrible?

"Sunlight caught the dust through the windows. The…stereo stopped working again. Turned and caught the whisper and pout. Small freckled face staring, twisted into disappointment. She wanted a sweet. You watch her smile, full of light, showing the gap between her front teeth as she took the cookie. i'It'll be our secret'/i She laughed, left," came the rushed voice of Cole. Ash blinked hard, she forgot he could do that sudden-thing he did. It had startled her and judging from the silence around her, she wasn't alone. "She thought you were nice, like her older sister." Cole was staring straight at her, again. But instead of being uncomfortable, Ash felt her heart lurch at the memory. That little girl had been cute. Her mom had brought her in to the bakery Ash worked at, and told her she couldn't have anything. So, while her mom went to the bathroom, Ash gave her a cookie. On the house. She had a soft spot for kids./

Ash sighed, hands curling around her mug. No one said anything after that, apparently waiting on her. She stared at her fingers, a wistful smile curling the corners of her lips. She shrugged her shoulders. "I took a lot for granted and, well, honestly I don't know how to explain it to you." And she didn't. She didn't know how to frame what she knew so that they would understand. They had no reference point to go from that she could tell. Besides, Ash wasn't an engineer, or any type of scientist, really. She didn't know exactly how half the stuff back home worked herself.

"What did you do there?" Sythari asked gently. When Ash looked up, the Inquisitor continued, "For a living? You said you didn't have magic there, and you don't seem like a noble. Or a soldier."

Ash snorted. "Definitely not," she laughed. "Me, a noble? That would be a really good joke. So would me being a soldier for that matter." She shook her head. "I was, am, a baker. I was saving up to open my own shop." She was struck with the sudden need to be in a kitchen. She relished in it, having not known this feeling for the past few weeks. Like she said before, her brain had been in overdrive dealing with everything else. That was putting it mildly. Ash grinned mischievously for a moment.

"I was really good at baking cookies," she drawled and stared straight at Sera with her own shit-eating grin.

Sera wrinkled her nose in disgust. "That. Right there. Creepy," she said. "Don't like that there's two of you doing that shite now."

"Eyes heavy, feet stumbling through the door," Cole said again. "'The sun isn't awake yet why am I?' But then proud when you watch them smile. 'I made that.' Their smiles were yours. You liked helping." Ash made eye contact with him where he sat, fighting a shudder. It was unsettling how far he could read her, as much as she cared about the kid when she had played back home.

"Yes," she said. "Still do."

"Do you miss it?" Sythari asked and turned her head to stare full-on at Ash.

God, yes.

"Yes," Ash mumbled, taking another swing at her drink. "Back home, my biggest concern was putting gas in my car. That's nothing compared to all these demons and bullshit. I miss how easy it is there. Never really thought about it before now." She frowned for a moment, wondering if she would have to explain what a car was. There was a short silence, but none of them asked about it. She vaguely wondered if they were still in some small way, not believing her. The fact didn't upset her.

"Well, shit, Ghost," Varric said. "Should have told us you could cook. Have you seen what they feed us?"

"Correction: I bake," Ash said. "As in sweets and bread and all that."

"Even better," Iron Bull said.

"You know, that gives me an idea," Varric said, a little too cheerfully. "I figured out how to put you into my next story, Tiny. 'The Iron Bull's belly was prone to rippling after every meal. He rarely wore shirts as they ripped from the strain.'"

Iron Bull was quiet for a moment. "That hurts, Varric. That's hurtful."

Ash laughed loudly before she clapped a hand over her mouth. Sera sniggered and even Sythari giggled.

"You are all just jealous," Bull said and held up a well muscled arm. "I would be too."

Ash raised an eyebrow. "Of what? Your 'pillowy-man bosoms?"' She made air-quotes with her fingers. Varric choked on the drink he had just taken.

Iron Bull's only response was a frown as the table once again erupted in laughter.

"They're called pecs," he said after a moment.

"Sure, sure," Ash said. "Man bosoms it is." She grinned at him and waggled her eyebrows. She noticed a glimmer of humor in his eye and he smirked a little. Her heart made a disconcerting flip when she saw it.

Stop that, you.

Iron Bull leaned across the table towards her. "Well," he said. "If you don't believe me, I'd be happy to show you just how—"

Thankfully, Sythari's hand flew in front of Bull's face. It put a stop to the thoughts Ash had started to have. "No," she said. "I don't want that mental image, please. Wait until I'm gone at least."

"But, you like muscles," Cole said, most certainly not looking at Sythari. Ash groaned, face in flames. "The Iron Bull could do that. He thinks about it too."

Ash's forehead thunked against the surface of the table. Laughing, Varric put a hand on Cole's shoulder. "Kid, remember our talk about 'private thoughts?'"

Ash wondered if being a mage meant she was capable of spontaneous combustion now. She felt something touch her back softly and she turned her head to look up at Sythari. She was smiling, but there was a sad edge to it suddenly.

"Switching topics," Sythari said quietly and Bull, Varric, and Sera devolved into their own conversation at Ash's expense. She was ignoring it. "Are you…okay? I've been worried." Sythari's eyes fell to Ash's newly scarred forearm.

Oh.

Ash gave a small smile and absently ran her fingers over her scars, flinching at the strange roughness of the skin. "You don't need to. I'll be okay." She hoped that was more reassuring than it sounded.

Sythari tugged at Ash's hair until she sat up. The Inquisitor promptly began to braid it for the second time and Ash let out a breathy laugh. The woman was turning into a mother hen.

"I feel like I'm to blame," Sythari confessed as Ash closed her eyes and relaxed. "I had assumed—" She paused. "I'm sorry. I forced you into things you weren't ready for."

"Was I that bad at fighting?" Ash asked, half teasing and trying to lighten the mood.

When Sythari spoke next, she sounded sad. "You fought exactly as you were able to," she said. "I didn't understand your limits. Didn't ask; I only assumed. And it put you in danger."

Ash reached back to still Sythari's hand. "It's alright," she said. "I forgive you. I was a little wrapped up in it all myself. I have imagic/i now." She was forcing her humor, it was likely obvious, but Ash really didn't want the Inquisitor to be sad on her account. She was a kind woman, and had enough on her plate without Ash adding to it. She might be stuck here now, but that didn't mean she had to add to their already monumental problems. Ash was even still trying to wrap her head around the ireality/i that this video game was becoming. It was a difficult concept. She had mental whiplash.

"I didn't understand either, Sythari," Ash said softly, apologetically. "The fact that this is all…ireal/i hadn't caught up with me yet."

The two of them lapsed into comfortable silence. If Sythari didn't understand what Ash meant, she didn't say anything. Ash just focused on the feel of Sythari's fingers combing through her hair. That felt real enough. She smiled wryly.

Just one thing at a time, Ash.

"We could probably get you set up in the kitchens," Sythari mused and finished her handiwork. "If you'd like, of course. It depends on what you would like to do."

"I vote the food thing," Sera said and burped. Well, someone was getting drunk.

Ash thought for a moment. "That would be nice," she said. "Baking would help my sanity at the very least." She turned back to the table and picked up her mug again. "But I don't want to only do that. I want to learn, to help, and try and figure all this shit out. That means figuring out how to use this magic thing right."

Sythari smiled at her. "I've said before, but we can help you as well," she said. "I don't think we're all that different from what you're used to? We're not monsters, at the very least."

Ash smirked. "Well…" she rolled her eyes towards Iron Bull.

Bull smirked back. "To me, that's a compliment," he said. "Besides, if you want to see a monster, I can-"

"No," Sythari said firmly. "Bull, if that's an innuendo, don't finish it."

Varric took a long, dramatic breath. "Don't take this where I think you're taking this Tiny," he said. "My poor heart couldn't handle it."

Ash was trying to tune this conversation out as embarrassing as it was. She was just hoping Cole wouldn't say something.

"I promised I wouldn't," Cole said as innocently as ever. "Varric said that those are private thoughts."

Ash's forehead once again met the table. Her and it were going to be good friends by the time the night was over.

Author Note: *collapses in exhaustion*

I did it. Took me forever but I transitioned away from the Fade-stuff I got sucked into. Gonna spend the next few chapters developing Ash's place in the Inquisition fully. And continuing to build the Iron Bull-mance like I have been.

I'm hoping the Ash real world background that I've started to hint at isn't incredibly sudden. I was struck by the fact that the story sort of got away from me and I didn't get to flush that out before she was sucked into action. Also, time-line wise, it's only been about two and a half-ish weeks since Ash has been there

Also, as for Sythari, she basically got excited that Ash iknew/i everything. She assumed, of course, that that meant she could handle herself around the danger. It was a naive thought on her part and she honestly does feel guilty. She also is a mother hen. But a quiet one.

Sorry, for the delay!