A/N: Short gag I wrote in barely half an hour. I suggest you read at least the first chapter of my story "Mabel Reads Twilight" to get the setting ;)

"Mabel, what are you reading?" Dipper asked his sister across the room, however, she was far too engrossed in the literature she was reading to hear anything. So he had to repeat himself several times.

Yes, Mabel did read romantic novels always, despite throwing away her Twilight books, but this reaction she had while she read was unique in the sense that her facial expressions were uncomfortable for a brother to put up with. She was blushing madly, biting her lip, purring and he knew what was happening to her down south, even if she didn't do anything, and let's leave it at that. Ugh.

"Mabel? You're freaking me out. Can you look up for a second?" Dipper tried, starting to feel really awkward.

When she finally noticed, it was as if she had broken out of a trance, and that classic goofy smile was back on her lips. Whew.

"Huh?" Mabel asked, voice a bit thick so she repeated herself.

"What's the book you're reading?" He asked, pointing to the book in her hold.

Mabel blushed redder than her sweater shirt with tomato patterns on it, and that would say a lot. Also, she cast her gaze to the side, as if she had been busted and felt bottomless guilt.

"It's…it's…Uhh…"

"Come on, Mabel, it's just me, your bro. You can tell me, alright?" He assured with a gentle smile.

"Yeah, well…" If possible, she got redder, "It's a novel called 'Fifty Shades of Grey'."

The world stopped. Dipper clenched his fingers on his covers. He held a breath. He echoed the title in his head. He turned white.

"What did she just say?" Dipper felt enraged to believe it.

Mabel took his silence as a sign he wanted exposition, even if he already knew.

"Yeah, a woman named Anastasia Steele begins to work for a man named Christian, goodness," Mabel cooled herself off with her hand, "Grey, and he's so mysterious and fascinating in every way, I wish I could find a summer romance like him."

The other twin snapped like a twig at that.

Mabel looked over to Dipper, confused. "Dipper, what-"

The next thing she knew her book was not in her hands anymore, but in her brother's, and he was already running outside with a victorious yell. "YAAAH!"

Mabel stunned, looked down at her empty hand dumbfounded for a few seconds, then let herself react with rightful offense. "DIPPER, WHAT THE HECK? Gimme my book back!" She threw off her covers and tried to track him down. Judged by his yells, he was already outside.

Dipper, blinded by outrageous disgust, threw the book on the ground with a loaded labor. Simply trashing it isn't enough, I need something more…passionate! And, well, you all know Dipper's filthy rich brain, so a plan was measured hastily before Mabel had properly processed all the happenings. He shot towards the garage.

Mabel had barely reached the bottom of the stairs before Dipper had dragged out a container of fuel and poured out the contents on the despicable cover with that…that…tie, those "bestseller" words, and…aaargh! He refused to believe Mabel read this, he refused it.

"Now you will pay the debt of nature!"

He let out an insane, maniacal grin as he flicked a lighter on, "Heeeheeehee!", threw it on the book and watched in deep satisfaction as that cover burnt away, and the literature was no more. Don't get him wrong, he had a deep respect for all kinds of books, but this wasn't one, so it didn't count.

It was merely words written poorly together on printed paper. That wasn't the same as a book to him. It was a waste of the poor paper it was printed on. Those flames danced seductively on the designating pages and he resisted the impulse to join in by stomping the ash further into nothingsness, as it could burn him.

"Muhhaahaaaah!" Dipper laughed darkly skyward and didn't notice that his sister had kneeled beside him and looked on in sadness.

When Dipper had calmed down, he looked to his sister. He felt a little crushed seeing her so sad that her book had been burnt, but he didn't regret what he did.

It had been for her best. And deep down, she knew it as well.

A/N: I really hate Fifty Shades of Grey. It's just porn written by a perverted old lady that encourages stalking/abuse/rape. Don't get me wrong, I only read the first few chapters, but seeing what so many others have written opinions about it, it's just as if I had already seen it all. It was the same case about Twilight with me (before I actually watched the series in the end to see what I was hatin' lol)

I just thought it plausible for Mabel to read such a thing. And Dipper, being the intelligent bookworm he is, would feel enraged. I can see this exact scene happen if they were involved with the novel.

How Dipper know about it? Ask him, not me. Maybe it's the same case as it is with BABBA, it's guilty pleasure reading.

Well, have a nice night everyone! I hope you aren't reading the book before you go to bed. Dipper will find it and burn it, so watch out ;)