Welcome to this Portal fic, my first one in this category. I hope you enjoy my take on Android!GLaDOS. If you don't like Android!GLaDOS, shame on you. You are missing out some cool stuff. But anyway, enjoy!

Hello, and welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. As you know, the recent experiments made on our tests subjects gave results of gigantic proportions. Our newly developed "Aperture Science Portable Quantum Tunneling Device", as the lab boys call it, is giving us great results. But the testing will not stop. Next month, we will begin making a new machine to run the place, just like Cave Johnson did as when he was alive. Next month, we will give a step forward to the future, making singularity, consciousness, life and all those philosophy terms just more words in the dictionary.

Next month, we will build the one machine you fellas have been rumored about the last weeks.

Next month, the first stage of the Venus protect will begin.

Cave Johnson will be proud of us.

I remember those words perfectly... How hyped the director looked in the mic when he gave that inspiring speech to everyone. I remember the cheers my mates and I did, later on taking the celebration to a bar later in the night. And then, next month came. They gave a special room, 400 meters under the parking lot, to the Venus project. I never liked that name. They just named it like that because of the design they were giving the machine. 'The birth of Venus' upside down. Everyday for 3 months you could see how they tried to rebuild the project Cave Johnson was so concerned about in the '89, ten years ago. Why would he? GLaDOS was going so well during those 3 months. Black Mesa was so pissed at us, but that's what we do.

I remember too well the first time we flipped the switch. A sixteenth of a picosecond. A blasted sixteenth of a damn picosecond. In that time she already wanted to murder us all. And it happened during a whole weekend. We turn it on, then off. We read the logs and repeated it all. It seemed as it's sole purpose was to kill us. That's when we started making he intelligence dampening cores. I called them 'Idiotizers'. Their purpose was to soften GLaDOS, to make her be less aggressive, all giving certain douses of specific feelings. It was funny to see that purple eye wandering around. I worked on that area, the cores. The Idiotizers. We made an Intelligence Dampening Sphere to make her less perfect and, if she plans to kill us, to make her reconsider... Kinda. During the experiments we turned off the Neurotoxin emitters, but in that damn sixteenth of a picosecond, she would turn them on again. Some people got sick from the toxin, but the rest kept on working.

Then the last day. I remember asking a girl, Amelia was her name, to bring me another pen since mine ran out of ink. She walked to her little office, but never came back. I decided to look for myself and walked to the upper part in the level S-2, where a friend of mine worked. He gave me a pen, a blue one. But then security closed the elevators. I took the stairs down, but they made me go up.

And then the neurotoxin emitters. I ran as fast as I could upstairs, but the damn lemony-scented air filled me up as I tried not to breathe and failed. I almost blacked out.

But it was Amelia who saved me. She took an oxygen tank and two masks. I took one and we both started to climb through the utility hatches. We managed to get out of there. Out of Aperture. I remember the parking lot covered in rain. A collapsed girl with the orange test subjects jumpsuit in the very exit. Amelia and I took her and dragged her to a nearby Aperture Science Emergency Shelter, where I managed to keep her alive. Neurotoxin can be erased with big amounts of salt to make you vomit and then honey, to make you work again. She explained how she was the one to stop the neurotoxin emitters after her test course, how this Mike, the one that lend me a blue pen, died trying to help her. How GLaDOS went berserk and killed everyone. We later found out other three guys, two men and a woman, who managed to escape. We decided to go home all.

But that's when the news came. The 'combine' invasion. The Seven Hours War. All of it.

The invasion spread throughout the world. Michigan wasn't a big colony, but it was a mayor one in USA. How we defeated them? We simply didn't. After some years, they got bored of us. So they left, leaving us with a wasteland. Population went 75% down. The world was left radioactive in various places. It sucked.

But me and Amelia survived, as the rest from Aperture. That's what counts.

And then she appeared... A mute, stubborn woman.

I didn't took the companion cube with me. It would be a heavyweight. I left it there. I started walking. I don't know how many days passed since she threw me out, but if I had to think, then a week passed until I found the city of Michigan. It was destroyed. I didn't knew about the Combine attack until I got there. No one wanted to give me shelter, no one wanted to accept me. There was violence, racism, murder and darkness everywhere. The streets were filthy and cold. I slept in a box for two months until I managed to snatch a little house in the third floor of a building.

I slept on the floor, sharing it with other people who worked their way up from homeless to slaves. For 2 years I worked for those pigs, trading people for food, guns for water, and giving bullets in the head for a place to live. I managed to befriend some people in there, from Aperture just like me. But they were killed after a while. I remember a couple. They were going to have a baby.

I hated it in here. If there could be any other way of living, I would have took it. And I did. It took me 3 tries until I escaped from the ones I worked for. I ran to the only place I knew it would be safe. I ran to that wheat land. To that little shack in the middle of it all.

I watched her leave the cube behind through a camera in the door. Well, I expected it somehow. I took it inside with me after a day, cleaned it up and placed it in a relaxation chamber. Blue and Orange stopped telling me that it was a sanctuary for her after I fried up their pain processors. It wasn't. Not at all. It was just a place where that cube could be, contrary to my actual wishes, safe. There was no reason at all, just for fun.

Anyway, after she left I started to send Orange and Blue to the testing tracks more than before. The Euphoria would kick in after every test they made. It was heaven for two months. Then I started to have some sort of... Resistance to it. It happened to the moron after testing with no purpose, but to me? My sole purpose of existing is for science, and only for science. I started to make harder tests. A new purple gel, the Adherence Gel, new Gravitational Pads for complex puzzles and even a three-way portal gun, with a timer to each portal. One closed, two are open and then one of the two closes and the other opens. It was fun watching them get sliced in half sometimes. The euphoria once again started to kick in.

After they found that massive safe full of humans, it took me one year and ten months to ran out of test subjects. They all weren't as good as her. Her results were so good, so impeccable. The robots have their failure mark, but she... The fear of dying excited her, I guess. It was the adrenaline and dopamine going through her, probably. The tests subjects I had weren't as thrilling as she was. They were all clumsy. I sent some of them to make specific tasks, later inspiring me for a new machine. I remember very well how I got the idea. It was after a test subject walked underneath a crusher panel and his guts went everywhere. How weak a human is. But their weakness inspired me.

And I built. Using some base models, I started to build the most perfect thing I have ever created. Myself. I realized that a pair of hands were really useful.

But then, someone knocked at my door.

What am I doing!? Why would I be here!? I have no reason to be here. GLaDOS will never let me in. She will say that I am a psycho or whatever and ignore me. Then why am I here, standing at the door, waiting for her to open up?

A panel popped from the shack, with a little camera on the middle.

"Oh, it's you..." She said like the last time. An annoyed tone in her voice was noticeable -or is it her normal voice?-. "What do you want, fatty?" Straight to the insults game. "Has the world ran out of food?" The panel moved and, I suppose, scanned me. "Where did you get those filthy clothes? Well, I suppose your damaged brain has the lowest sense of fashion in the world."

I took a notepad and a pen, both from my left pocket. I started writing.

'I know you owe me nothing and likewise. But I need you to let me in.' I wrote down and showed it to the camera.

"Why would I let you in? I have enough tests subjects for the rest of your mortal life." She said with the same tone. "Plus, I set you free. Free means that you are no longer under my control."

'There's no one out here that has even the slightest sense of humanity.' I wrote and before she could protest, which she did anyway, I wrote again. 'I'm not saying you have, but you are the closest thing I have to a friend.'

"Friends? Us two?" She said with certain disgust in her voice. "Our relationship is former test subject and boss. Lets say that I fired you, so you have no reason to be here. Leave at once."

Goddammit! GLaDOS, let me in! Shit, don't cry, Chell!

"Stop crying." You piece of trash...

"Glados, let me in!" I yelled. Damn, I never thought these would be my first words to her... Not as if I were thinking on ones.

...

"Oh, now you decide to speak." She said and then she gave a mechanical sigh. "I suppose that it must be something serious in order to make you cry and talk to me... Weak."

"Shut up." I said and pressed my jacket onto my eyes, drying my tears. "Would you let me in?"

"Are you planning on killing me? Again?" She asked, and I shook my head. Another sigh and the door opened. "Then... Welcome, once again, to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center." And the door slid open. I walked into the elevator and closed the door. It started to go down, deep into the earth.

The scent of cleanness and metal started to fill me up. The recycled air smelled somehow good. Has someone used it? GLaDOS said she has test subjects... Humans? From where?

"Hey, you." I heard from a speaker in the elevator. "I'm not providing you any sort of pen and paper for you to write whatever you think. Talk. It's easier."

"Whatever." I said and the elevator started to slow down. For how long have I been going down? Then the wall in front of me went up and the room started to get bigger. I saw spinning discs in front, then a base for a big machine, and then her. An omnipotent killing machine. Her orange eye looked at me as I went down and finally stopped.

*ding*

"I guess this is when you start explaining why you came here." GLaDOS said. I nodded and stepped out the elevator. It's somehow calming to see her again, for a reason...

"Well... After I got out I went to Michigan, after a Combine attack." I said. "The Combine are-"

"From another dimension." She finished. "I knew a while after you left. If I'd knew before, I probably wouldn't let you go." Emphasis on the 'probably'.

"Well, thanks... I guess." I said. "Anyway, for the first months I slept on the street. Then I got called to work for some bad people and I did for two years."

"You left for 2 years, 2 months and 16 days." GLaDOS said. I looked at her with confusion. Was she taking time? "No, I wasn't taking time. It's just a number."

"Yeah, whatever you say." I mocked her, for some reason. "Anyway, I escaped and here I am."

"Well, I'm kinda glad you chose me as last resort." She said and looked away. "I needed test subjects anyway."

"Didn't you had enough to last 'till I die?" I said and crossed my arms.

"I did have." She said. "But now you are here. And you have 60 years to test until you die. So yeah, I didn't lied."

"You only have those two robots, don't you?" I held my laugh. What a shame...

"You must be having illusions from lack of rest." She dodged my question. "Please proceed through this hallway following the yellow line." A door opened. "You will find an Enhanced Relaxation Chamber."

"Thanks, Glados." I said and walked there. I felt her following my steps through the cameras as I walked down the hallway following a yellow line in the floor. After some turns and a little walking, I found a door with a panel besides it. It had a numeric panel and two buttons underneath. A red one said 'open' and a green one that said 'reset'. I pressed open and the door opened. My surprise was that it wasn't an ordinary chamber.

It looked like one of those one floor department I saw in some magazines. Kitchen and bedroom, almost side by side. I stepped in as the door closed behind me. I looked around. The bed was a king size, white as Aperture itself. The whole room was painted white and gray. But I didn't took too much until I finally decided what to do: Shower. I walked to the only door in the room and stepped inside the large bathroom. Good thing was that the shower had non-transparent glass. I started the hot water and then undressed.

I had it coming. Of course she would start with a shower. What is so special in showering? It's just cleaning yourself from the dirt you happen to have on your skin. Why is it so enjoyable? Humans...

Well... There she is. Showering. Cleaning all of her skin from the dirt. Standing naked with water running down her body.

...

I'm just running a scan. Yeah, that's it. Checking if she doesn't have any inner or outer wounds. Why am I worrying about a scan? I'v done it hundreds of times already. Why worry now?

Okay, she doesn't have brain damage -or more than the one she already has-. Shoulders to arms, clean. Too clean, actually. Long limbs. That's a good thing, right? She isn't so pale. She has quite the tone. Alright, chest bones are intact. There is no sign of lung, heart or any kind of organ problem going there. She has an intact skin, no signs of problems in her breasts, in and out. Abdomen area is also going ok. No organs damaged. I scan some scars. Maybe from a kick to the gut or something. Legs bones are also ok. Long limbs, once again.

She is all good.

...

Okay, scan completed. She 100 percent- No, 90 percent good. If you count her brain damage and fat, she is 90 percent good.

Maybe an 80 percent.

Yeah...

...

But she was unable to stop. Her scan was supposed to last less than half minute. Why would she keep watching?

A crossed cable, maybe. False contact? Probably...

The machine stared at the showering test subject enjoy her time while washing her body. Fat? Not at all. Just curvy. With the body of a young, healthy woman. No exaggerated sizes on her. Just long limbs.

GLaDOS was then shocked. She caught herself staring at the showering woman. Her cameras looked away, into the testing tracks. There's no time to get distracted.

She has to pay attention to the real thing. To the science being done in the testing tracks. To the robots finding ways to solve a puzzle or two.

Yeah, that's better.

...

...

But, for the sake of her own safety, she kept one camera watching over the showering psycho. Yeah, just for safety. She may go nuts and try to put her on a potato.

Yeah. Safety reasons.