Takes place after 3x15 when Oliver, Diggle and Merlyn are back in Starling.

Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow or any of the characters (sadly).

This is my first ever fan fiction story - any feedback will be very helpful!

Chapter 1: Prelude

Felicity seemed distracted to him. Not in an obvious way, no. Since he and Diggle had returned from Nanda Parbat and were trying yet again to clean up the city – in a way pretending that nothing big had happened, that nothing big was looming - she seemed different. She still did her job; she came in, worked her magic finding every single thing they asked her to, spoke softly through the comm guiding them when on a mission and waited for them to return each night.

But now she offered no words of comfort. She waited for their return, but her face didn't break into a huge smile when he came back. It was as if her head was somewhere else. Her eyes would seem unfocused at times.

The question he kept asking himself was 'Where?'

Was she punishing him still? It had been a while since that night in the alley right outside the lair. Thinking about it, he winced, his fingers clenching around the medical bay he was standing by. It had been one of the worst nights of his life and that was saying a lot. For once he wasn't physically hurt; yet her words had pierced something deep in his heart.

But it couldn't be it. Yes she was hurt, he could tell. But that wasn't it.

Right on cue Felicity walked down the stairs looking at her phone. She looked up saying 'Hey' and continued towards her computer distracted.

Oliver said 'Hi' and walked back to the mat and his training frowning while the others slowly made their way in. Looking at them he got angry with himself. Focus Oliver! They had a lot to discuss. He was glad that Diggle hadn't said anything about Ra's al Ghul's offer to the others and was waiting for him to bring it up. Their story about how they managed to escape had been vague but the others had sensed that they had to wait for him to tell them when he was ready.

Diggle walked up to him slowly. 'Oliver, You are staring AGAIN.'

Oliver looked at him puzzled.

'Felicity. You are staring at her. If you've let her go then stop staring'. Diggle knew what had happened in the alley. Waiting together for death to come in that cell in Nanda Parbat, Dig asking him to be his best man and seeing his happiness, had made him crack and he had told him what Felicity had said.

Diggle was like a brother. He stood by him no matter what, but he was also the first one to tell him when he screwed up. In Nanda Parbat he had remained quiet, however. He just said that if he was letting her go he should stop. Stop looking at her as if she was the only person in the room, as if nothing else mattered, stop saying 'I love you' to her, just stop. He should go back to being his usual quiet, brooding self. Which he mostly had.

'Are we going to tell them? Oliver. We need to! You are not seriously thinking you won't ask them what they think about this!' Diggle urged him. His tone caught Oliver's attention.

'Yeah, I guess it's time we…' he started replying before he heard Felicity's voice from her desk. She was sitting with her back to them staring at something on her screen.

'Oliver we are going to be late! If you want to actually start attending the board meetings at the company we need to go! Go get ready!'

He had forgot all about the meeting. Apparently since Palmer had taken over with the help of Felicity they had made the company profitable again. So his stocks were starting to have value and he held a large enough percentage to demand a place on the board of the company. His company. It was important that he got his company back. For his mum and dad, for Thea, for himself. He took a shower before wearing his grey suit and walking out of the shower room they had at the lair. Felicity was distracted again looking at her phone, while the others sparred on the matts.

He frowned before she lifted her head, gave him a nod and together they walked outside and to her car. They didn't talk on their way to what was now known as PT. No matter how much he wanted to ask her what was on her mind, he kept Diggle's advice and left her alone. Even she wasn't her usual talkative self. Though she wasn't really talkative around him anymore anyway, apart from when she seemed to tell him off for all the 'wrong' choices he was making.

Reaching PT, Felicity parked her car in the underground parking and they walked to the elevator together and up to the meeting room.

Ray was already there, chatting with a couple of members from the board. He nodded to Oliver when he saw him walk in, politely. Palmer might have been an ass for taking QC out of Oliver's hands, but at least he wasn't being a total jerk to his face.

But then he noticed Ray's eyes move to Felicity who walked in right behind him. He smiled. A most peculiar smile indeed. It wasn't friendly… And Felicity turned all bright pink before hurrying to give him a usb stick.

Oliver observed the pair as Ray leaned towards her and whispered something in her ear. He remembered, with a pang of jealousy, them kissing in her office that night he went to find her. He found this strange; he thought nothing had happened between the two since then. Or maybe he hoped so. Felicity had been so busy with everything that had been going on, trying to help the team as much as she could. And he knew that no matter what, she still cared about him, perhaps even loved him (he dared hope even though she, unlike him, never said) and thinking he died had cost her. He could still see the same pained expression in her eyes she had when he first got back from almost dying.

He wanted to be with her more than he had wanted anything in a very long time, but he knew that letting her go was the best thing for her. It was now more about just protecting her from anyone coming after her because she was affiliated with the Arrow. It was about following Tatsu's advice. He needed to let her go to put an end to everything that was going on. To make sure that Starling was safe from Ra's al Ghul's grasp, from anyone grasp. That she – yes, she, wasn't a lot of what he did lately about her? – would be able to be safe, to be happy, to live. Even if that would mean him becoming the new Ra's al Ghul.

He noticed out of the corner of his eye Felicity nodding to something Ray told her and then addressing the room.

'Excuse me, everyone! The meeting will start in five minutes!' She called before she walked out with Ray.

Felicity entered Palmer's office curious as to what he wanted to discuss and she could see Ray's mischievous smile.

'You've been avoiding me.' He said smiling.

'No I haven't!' She retorted. 'Okay, yes. Maybe a bit.' She offered. ' But it's not time to discuss this now! They are waiting for us!'

'Why?' He asked eagerly, ignoring her last comment. 'I thought you were pretty happy with what happened between us'.

'Yeah I mean I loved it… Not that I love you! Not that you are not worthy to be loved, because of course you are… 3, 2, 1… I meant I loved our time together.'

Ray chuckled. She could really get herself in a twist.

'So what's the problem?'

'I… I woke up and you were gone…' She started, not really knowing how to go on. She needed to explain so much more to him, but how could she?

'What can I say, you not only are a genius, but spending the night with you brought me inspiration' He said smiling while dropping a soft kiss on her lips.

Felicity was starting to return the kiss when she thought she saw out of the corner of her eye someone standing behind her and turned. Oliver was standing at the door with his hand raised as if about to knock to alert them of his presence, a file clutched to his hand. His eyes were wide, but before she could pinpoint exactly what she was seeing in their depths his mask of indifference was back.

'I'm sorry, I just needed to talk to you about something.' He said softly. 'The board is getting inpatient, you might want to get started.' He continued, before walking out the door.

Felicity gazed at the back of his head as he disappeared and she felt Ray give her a nudge towards the meeting room. She couldn't help the sinking feeling she felt in the pit of her stomach. How long had he been standing there? Definitely long enough for him to realise she slept with Ray… Not that it was any of his business. She had told Oliver she refused to follow in his footsteps, in this crazy path he thought they were all on. To let herself die. She wanted to live. She wanted to live so much, to experience, to love and be loved. And even though in her heart living was almost equal to living with him, living for him, she refused to just wait around for him to die. She wanted more and Ray could give her that.

But she never wanted him to find out like this.

Oliver could feel his blood boil. He didn't know if he ever felt that angry before. He now knew where her head had been over the past few days. He wanted to be happy for her, that's what he was trying all along.

But no matter what, seeing them; seeing the love of his life – because of course she was – being with someone else and most importantly him, he felt broken. Broken the way only she knew how to fix him.

But this time, this time there was no Felicity, not his Felicity anyway, to hold him with her presence together, to heal him.

And yet again it was all his fault.