The first chapter has already been posted on ao3 for a while, but I'm going to start posting chapters here as well.

This little fic was born from a small discussion I had with two lovely people on tumblr, and I decided that there really is a lack of transgender characters in sasnar fics. I don't know how long this will turn out, but it's meant to be a sweet and positive little thing. Since I'm not transgender myself, I hope you will correct me if I get anything wrong. My followers have assured me that this chapter is fine though. I've been posting it in smaller parts on tumblr, and I'll continue doing that and then gather them into chapters here. The aim is to have as little heteronormativity as possible in this. We will see and I will try my best. Feel free to make suggestions!

As for the rating, I'm putting it as M just in case, but we'll see where it goes.

Sasuke isn't quite sure what to make of his new classmates yet. They seem like your regular, run-of-the-mill people, with varying degrees of awkward. He probably feels more awkward than most.

Though, it's not nearly as awkward as he used to feel, and now his awkward is more related to being able to act however he wants to without getting shit for it. He isn't used to it yet, but it doesn't worry him, because everything is right and the worst part is over, anyway. Still, during the first week he accidentally went inside the girls' changing rooms before gym class. He'd been stressed, and too used to associating school with things like having to be a girl, and he'd had one of those annoying and pointless arguments with his parents as they dropped him off. He hadn't been thinking, which was funny because thinking feels like the only thing he's been doing the past years.

Still, he'd entered, and had been met with about ten girls screaming their lungs out. Most of them had been yelling profanities, and one even threw a shoe at him.

It was one of the best moments of his life.

Well, maybe that's exaggerating a little, but so far everyone has simply written it off as him being either a scatterbrain or a pervert. No one asks him too personal questions, and no one has asked why he waits until last with showering. It is liberating to a degree that almost has him smiling, in school of all places.

Now that he thinks about it, that smile might have been why people started calling him a pervert. Sometimes he can hear the other guys mutter about how unfair it is that 'the pervert' has become so popular with the girls in school. Not that it bothers Sasuke, he is very much a homosexual, and happily so. Girls were okay, but just… no. He doesn't have any plans of letting anyone know though. Actually, he isn't planning on letting anyone knowing anything, at least not until he is one million percent sure it's safe. Preferably after he's transitioned, since well, there are still things to take care of.

He's by his locker, and thinking no one can see, he glances down at his now flat chest. Another thing that has him almost break out in a rare smile, because there were few occasions before the surgery where he could look at his body and feel okay with it. At least he's moving forwards, and things are starting to look up for him. He even forgets to sigh over the fact that their next class is History, and their teacher is about as engaging as a pebble. Looks like one, too, as much as a human can possibly look like a rock. Sasuke isn't one to judge the wonders of the world.

"Oi! Sasuke!"

Turning, he doesn't need to see the bright, obnoxious colors of Naruto's clothes or the wide grin plastered onto his face to recognize who the voice belongs to. Naruto is too loud for his own good, like an overly enthusiastic puppy making a new friend every time he talked to someone. It would have been endearing if Sasuke hadn't been prone to migraines. Oh, and Naruto is waving too, as if they're not within speaking distance.

"What?" he asks warily, giving in and walking closer to the circle Naruto is part of.

"Oh, nothing. Just thought you might want to join us!"

Holding back a snort, Sasuke merely raises an eyebrow. Not that it deters Naruto's grin in the least. That guy was probably born grinning, he thinks but steps in next to him when he offers him the space. It doesn't hurt to be a little friendly, if anything it makes people less suspicious of you. Though, there is a difference between friendly and friends, and Sasuke isn't really at a point in his life where he dares to blur the lines between the two. Naruto doesn't seem very threatening though; he's amusing if anything as he barks at another guy for something he said, his nose scrunched up and hands flailing by his sides. Sasuke is almost hit by one, too.

There's a vibration in his pocket, and he digs around in it for his phone. Today's choice of jeans is a rather skinny pair, but the pockets are still deep and he marvels over another wonder of the world, namely pants made for boys. Not that he's new to using them, but he promised his brother he would appreciate all the good things during the day no matter how small and insignificant, and while this hits both categories it's still good enough to notice. His shirt is long enough to cover most of the pockets anyway, a deliberate choice considering what else he needs to keep in there this week.

Finally getting his phone out, he sees there's a message from – surprise – his brother. He notices Naruto shifting next to him, sending him a look, but when Sasuke glances back he's only met with another smile. Typing out a short reply, he starts moving on autopilot as the others agree to head over to the classroom, but is stopped by Naruto's hand on his arm.

"Umm, hang on a moment," the blond says, looking faintly embarrassed as he tells the others they'll be right behind.

"What?" Sasuke asks flatly, and Naruto rolls his eyes.

"Is that the only word you know? Jeez." Then he checks their surroundings, and moves his foot to bend over and pick something up. "I kind of, uh, noticed you dropping this."

Sasuke stares at the small item in Naruto's tan hand, stark white in its see-through plastic wrapper. He opens his mouth, but no sound manages to come out, which isn't surprising considering his brain is frozen in shock.

A tampon.

It looks so innocent in Naruto's hand, but Sasuke can hear it mocking him. Things had started out so well, but fucking nature just had to be against him. God, he hates being born the wrong gender.

Naruto's hand closes, and Sasuke startles as a couple of people pass them, voices cutting through his stupefied brain. Shit.

"Uh, I just thought you might not want anyone to see it, so I stepped on it… ah! Damn, maybe you don't want it back now, I mean it's all dirty and, yeah… sorry."

He stares at Naruto instead, at the embarrassed flush across his cheeks, and what the hell is he apologizing for?!

"No I…" he struggles for words, because Naruto has just done something he wasn't prepared for, wasn't expecting or even fantasizing about happening. "Thanks," he finishes lamely, clearing his throat and wondering if it's weird to ask why Naruto is so damn nice.

"Oh," Naruto lets out, along with a relieved little laugh. "You kinda looked like you were gonna do something crazy for a while there."

Swallowing against his suddenly dry throat, Sasuke flicks his eyes between meeting Naruto's, and the pocket where he had just casually shoved the tampon, dirty wrapper and all.

"I was just surprised," he forces out, feeling the tension in his body slowly ease.

Naruto shrugs, his blaringly yellow t-shirt following the movement but for once Sasuke thinks it's a rather nice color after all.

"I've got a friend, Haku. They're kinda the same, well kinda the same and kinda the opposite. I mean, Haku is Haku so sometimes they feel like a girl and sometimes a guy so… umm, Sasuke are you okay?"

No, Sasuke doesn't think he's okay. Because of all the people he'd thought would use pronouns like that, it sure hadn't been childish, obnoxious Naruto. And Naruto… knew.

"You look a little pale, you know, Sakura told me it's possible to faint from period cramps, maybe you should go see the nurse?"

Maybe Sasuke should. Maybe Naruto should hold his hand on the way there, just in case he does faint. But he shakes his head, and when Naruto isn't convinced, he narrows his eyes and pushes his concerned face away.

"I'm fine," he says, and Naruto squawks a little at the rough treatment. "And I don't have cramps."

Which is true, because painkillers are another wonder to add to Itachi's list of insignificant-but-nice-things.

Naruto, however, doesn't make the list. He needs a new list of his own, and as Sasuke walks with him to the classroom he tries to come up with a good name for it.

Sudden-unexpected-and-highly-inconvenient-crush is a bit too embarrassing, even for Naruto.

Maybe he'll settle for friend. Yeah, he can work with that.

xxx

When Sasuke opens the door to his house, he can instantly hear his mother's voice drifting into the hallway from over by the living room. For a while now she's been working half the day from home, insisting on being there when Sasuke arrives from school. Some days it's a little overbearing, but he could never be angry over her concern. If anything, he's thankful. He places his shoes carefully on the rack before venturing towards the sound, finding her on the couch speaking rapidly into her headset, fingers tapping the keys. She looks up, briefly, and smiles with an added apologetic grimace.

Like Sasuke isn't old enough to wait a few minutes before talking to her. He rolls his eyes, then walks to his room. There's homework to do, and they even have a test next week despite just having started the semester. He should probably read his History book…

Still not over the gravelly pebble-voice of his teacher, he picks Biology instead. There's just something so fascinating about the eco system and plants. He returns to the living room and flops onto the couch next to his mother, knowing it's either that or she'll come looking for him. And he kind of wants to talk to her anyway. It takes a few minutes for her to finish the call, but during those minutes she's already managed to caress his cheek, ruffle his hair, and squeeze his ankle when he sits cross-legged.

"You're wearing the shirt I bought you!" she starts with, throwing the earpiece onto the coffee table and leaning back into the couch.

"You've bought almost all of them," he reminds her, nose still buried in the textbook but gazing up at her over the edge.

"True, but this one I really like." She smiles, and he has to smile back, even if it's a rather tiny one. "So, how was school?"

"It was… good."

She immediately catches on to his hesitation, elegant eyebrows shooting upwards.

"Good? Not just okay? Did something nice happen?"

He debates over how to tell her, lowering the book onto his lap and bringing one leg up against his chest instead.

"Well… there's this guy in my class," he starts, and at once regrets it.

"A guy, huh? Is there something you're trying to tell me?" Her tone is teasing, the look in her eyes shrewd as he fights down a blush.

"No. Let me rephrase that. There's a guy in my class called Naruto, and he's… okay."

When his mother places an arm over the back of the couch and leans closer, he tries to move back slightly without being obvious about it. She doesn't usually pry, but sometimes he suspects she's dying to see him in a relationship just so she can coo over how adorable they look together. But thankfully the teasing expression disappears from her face, replaced by a thoughtful one.

"Well, for you to call someone okay so soon after meeting, he must have done something special."

"He found out."

He says it with a shrug, trying to not make a big deal about it, because now that he knows Naruto's reaction it doesn't feel so bad that someone in his class knows. Mikoto, however, straightens up as her pretty eyes narrow in concern.

"Should I be worried? I mean you said he's okay but…"

"No, it's fine. He said he won't tell anyone and I believe him."

Nodding slowly, she relaxes again. She tugs at a few of her long, dark strands of hair in thought, contemplating him.

"As long as you're okay. You don't need me to call and talk to his parents?"

"Oh my god, you're so embarrassing," he mutters, picking his textbook up again in a demonstrative move.

"Alright, alright," she laughs, scooting closer to her computer again. "What time are we going running by the way?"

Sasuke sighs, wondering if there's such a thing as too caring.

"You don't have to join me every time, you know."

"Sasuke!" She looks scandalized, and he cringes at the look. "Are you denying your mother her exercise? You know, I've been sitting all day long, I need to move or I'll start cultivating mold. Besides, I've never been as fit as I am now."

He rolls his eyes, but doesn't disagree. It's not so bad, anyway, to go jogging together. He idly wonders if Naruto is on any sports team, and snorts quietly at the image. Two days ago Naruto dived after a ball and managed to topple three people over, somehow. It even earned him an applause.

But no, Naruto isn't what he should be thinking about at all, and so he focuses on the page again. It's difficult.

xxx

"Haku," Naruto starts conversationally as he lies on Haku's bed. "Remember I told you about Sasuke?"

"Of course," Haku murmurs, and Naruto squints a little to try and figure out if there was some sarcasm in there.

"Anyway," he continues, "today he sat with me every lesson after lunch."

Haku raises an eyebrow, but keeps their eyes on the TV screen where some kind of rich bachelorette is in the middle of taking a guy on a date in a helicopter. Why Haku watches these shows, Naruto will never understand. So he wriggles around a bit to catch their attention, which shouldn't be difficult considering his head is placed on Haku's pajama-clad lap.

"Yes, congratulations," Haku tells him, scratching teasingly at his scalp.

"I think it was because I found out he's trans, and didn't react badly to it. At least, I think that's why. He looked pretty panicked when he realized."

This makes Haku tear their dark eyes off the screen, looking down into Naruto's with a blank expression.

"I see," they say, and pat his head a few times. "Make sure you're nice to him."

"Of course!" He huffs, crossing his arms. "I'm gonna make Sasuke my best classmate friend!"

He can see the way Haku is trying not to grin at him, one hand coming up to swipe at their mouth as if it would conceal the way the corners of their mouth twitch.

"Don't laugh! Everyone has someone to always sit with and do pair work with, but I've decided that Sasuke can be mine now."

"And does Sasuke know this?"

Naruto sticks his tongue out, because this isn't the sort of thing you ask. It just happens, and he is determined to make it happen with Sasuke. Not only is Sasuke an interesting person, he also seems smart and very focused. Plus he didn't applaud when Naruto messed up last time in gym class. Now he just needs to convince Sasuke that using every longer lunch break for going over to the ramen restaurant in the nearby square is a great idea, and things will be perfect…

xxx

Despite Naruto's efforts, it takes almost two weeks before he manages to drag Sasuke with him for ramen. Not that Sasuke has that much against it, he just doesn't see the point in eating junk food and wasting money when there's perfectly acceptable food to get at school. Today, however, Naruto had sauntered into the classroom with a smug grin on his face, announcing to anyone who bothered to listen, but to Sasuke in particular, that today's lunch was mashed potatoes and sausages of questionable taste. It should be mentioned here that Naruto has done extensive research as to what food Sasuke likes and dislikes, and so he already knew what Sasuke's reaction would be.

So, ramen it is.

Naruto looks almost disgustingly pleased as he slurps down the noodles opposite of Sasuke, but he's realized that Naruto is just pure like that. Purely happy over ramen. And Sasuke sitting next to him.

While Sasuke might have decided that Naruto was an okay guy, possibly friend material, and no he didn't have a stupid crush because that was just stupid, he hadn't gone so far in his thoughts as to think he could handle being around him constantly. It turns out he was wrong. And now, he thinks, it has gone too far for him to go back. Naruto's smile every morning that Sasuke saves the spot next to him –be it deliberately or by accident– is just so bright that he can't bring himself to wipe it off his face. Naruto is like Itachi's list if it were a real person.

"Sasuke, did you know that these are called Naruto just like me?"

Sasuke sends a glance towards Naruto's bowl, where he points at the white and pink fishcakes.

"Incredible," he murmurs, but Naruto beams.

"My parents didn't really name me after food, it's because my godfather wrote this really cool book and named the hero Naruto," he continues, and Sasuke can't help but stare at him. "I'll let you borrow it if you want."

Slowly, he nods, and Naruto looks like his face is going to heat up for a moment. Then he ducks his head and starts slurping again, and Sasuke squirms a bit because he doesn't know how to interpret that. So far they haven't talked anything about the incident, as Sasuke labels it in his mind. In fact, they've been talking about ordinary things mostly, and he isn't sure if it's relieving or if this restlessness he feels sometimes is because he wants to talk about it. He never really had a friend he could talk about it with, but at the same time, he's sure Naruto doesn't pry because he's just like that. Accepting.

And, it's not like Sasuke wants to start opening up about it because it isn't exactly a simple subject. Even if it's easier now, it doesn't mean Sasuke knows where to start, much less where to finish.

He remembers he's supposed to be eating, and they spend a minute or so in silence. Another thing he surprisingly found out about Naruto, that if you get him alone, he can be quiet for hours. At least he once was, when they had an assignment due and Naruto asked if he could sit with Sasuke in the library to finish it. Even though Sasuke finished early, he'd stayed and played around on his computer just to keep him company, since the other boy seemed to need it. Afterwards, Naruto had given him a tired, thankful smile, as if people would usually never do that for him. Then Sasuke had offered to read it through for him, and Naruto had almost gotten teary-eyed.

It made Sasuke think about the fact that while Naruto at first had been hanging out with mostly everyone in class, he hadn't complained when Sasuke said he preferred being not surrounded by people, and happily spent most of their time at school just the two of them.

Maybe Naruto isn't as good friends with the others as he'd first thought. Sasuke just assumed that he is good friends with all of them, since they have already spent a year together. He knows that Naruto is friends with Haku, who goes to another school, and Sakura, who is in a different class but stops by to chat with him now and then during breaks.

He wonders if Naruto is actually a bit lonely, and it's a strange feeling, that Sasuke's presence might be easing that. It makes him feel like Naruto has already become so attached, and it takes a while to realize that maybe he doesn't need to feel worried about it. Since, well, Naruto knows, and Sasuke doesn't have any other dark secrets that might put him off. Not that he knows of, anyway.

"Are you going to eat the rest?"

Sasuke blinks, and then notices Naruto eyeing the half-full bowl he's poking around in.

"I guess not," he says, because while ramen isn't too bad, he doesn't think he can finish the whole thing.

"Then can I have it?"

He's surprised by how eager Naruto looks, but pushes the bowl across the table anyway.

"You usually don't eat so much," Naruto observes, and Sasuke shrugs it off.

"I eat enough," he replies, and Naruto rolls his eyes.

"I could eat ten bowls of ramen every day," he assures Sasuke, only pausing to remove Sasuke's chopsticks before digging in.

"I'm sure you could."

Sasuke is amused. If it's because of the almost proud look on Naruto's face or just a general feeling he isn't sure, but he doesn't mind either way. It's a good thing Naruto can't read his thoughts, because he wouldn't survive the embarrassment, considering how thankful and awed he is for Naruto's company.

From now on he's always going to save Naruto a spot on purpose.

xxx

Three days later, Naruto asks if he's had time to start reading the book he lent him yet. Sasuke doesn't want to admit he finished the whole thing yesterday, so he mumbles something about how the first chapters seem promising, and receives a glorious smile and a shoulder bump for it.

He feels a strange urge to go home and read it a second time.

xxx

Sasuke reads a lot. He reads blogs, stories, articles, and anything else he finds relevant. There is a burning need within him to know as much as possible about people he can identify with, though he isn't one to share much about himself. But some people he finds very brave and inspiring. One day, he thinks, he'll be able to be that to someone else. He hopes.

The world, however, is a cruel place in his opinion. All the tragedies hurt, and he feels so helpless. It makes him wake up some mornings wanting to cry because his family loves him, supports him wholeheartedly, and yet he can remember the fear he felt before telling them. Fear, because it's one thing to dress more like a guy than a girl, one thing to look up so much to his brother that he copies him, and another thing to do these things and more for a much bigger reason.

He remembers, but he doesn't know if he wants to. He isn't where he wants to be yet, but he's here, and here is not a bad place to be.

It's Sunday morning, and he sneaks into Itachi's room. Even though it's early, his brother is already sitting by his desk engrossed in studying. Sasuke wishes he could be that self-disciplined, but Itachi is on a level of his own.

"You're up early," Itachi comments, busy underlining important words in a thick textbook.

Sasuke doesn't reply, only shuffles over to Itachi's bed and buries himself underneath the covers. He lets his face peek out through a hole, observing Itachi at work. It's calming, simply watching the small changes in his expression as he reads. How his eyes focus as they quickly scan a page, marker pen pressing into his lower lip. How he pushes a strand of long, glossy hair behind an ear before uncapping the marker and drawing a slow, perfectly straight line underneath a word or sentence. Not that Sasuke can see that, but he knows from experience just how neat it looks. Sometimes he flips through Itachi's notebooks because it's almost fascinating how organized they are.

He's tried to copy the method, but reaching that level of perfection is most likely impossible.

Itachi is quiet, letting Sasuke be. Maybe he thinks that Sasuke will just go to sleep in his bed instead, or using his usual tactic of waiting for Sasuke to talk when he's ready. Itachi is very patient, and Sasuke tries hard to be the same. Itachi also has a way with words that Sasuke doesn't.

"I don't want to die," he blurts out, and effectively catches Itachi's undivided attention.

"Good," his brother replies, calm and collected, dark eyes boring into his.

Sasuke stares back, because he's been thinking about it since last night. How much he doesn't want to die, and how happy he is that he can feel this way. He's lucky.

Then Itachi moves closer, pushing away from the desk and letting the office chair come to a stop right next to the bed. He leans forwards, peeks at Sasuke through the little hole he's made, and Sasuke folds down the edges a bit so he can see Itachi better.

"Is something bothering you, Sasuke?"

"I don't know," he mumbles, and it's both truth and lie. "Maybe a bit of everything. The future." He pauses, and averts his eyes towards Itachi's knee. "What if Naruto wants to stop being friends with me for some reason."

He can hear Itachi let out a quiet sigh, one of those worried ones.

"Here," he says, and places a hand on the mattress close to Sasuke. "Give me your hand."

When Sasuke slowly pushes one out towards him, he gently puts his own above Sasuke's and rubs his thumb along his fingers.

"If he wants to stop, there isn't much you can do about it. We can't control other people." When Sasuke frowns, Itachi squeezes his hand to show that he isn't finished. "That doesn't mean it's all fine, though. But do you think he'd want that?"

Sasuke thinks of Naruto. Thinks of how shyly he'd asked if Sasuke wants to come to his birthday party in a week, thinks of the brightness in his eyes whenever he sees Sasuke, thinks of the silly things he whispers during lessons so they almost get in trouble.

He shakes his head, then pushes his face into the mattress so that he almost can't breathe. Naruto keeps worming his way into his heart, and in some ways it's too soon and too much, but Naruto is never intrusive or demanding. He's just there.

Naruto laughs a lot, sings to himself in public, makes all these funny faces, and Sasuke feels like he's getting pulled along to somewhere he isn't quite sure he wants to think about.

"From what you've told me, I think he seems like a good person," Itachi tells him, tugging at his hand so that Sasuke tilts his head to give him a one-eyed look. "Don't you think I should get to meet your new friend soon?"

No, Sasuke doesn't think that, and Itachi can probably read his thoughts because his lips quirk at the corners and spread in a smile.

"Well, you never were very good at sharing."

Smacking Itachi's hand, Sasuke retreats underneath the covers so that he's fully concealed, ignoring Itachi's affectionate laughter as he rolls the chair back to continue studying. Maybe he should text Naruto and ask if they can hang out.

Somewhere that isn't Sasuke's house, that is.

I sincerely hope that you like it so far! And if you don't follow me on tumblr, you can find most of chapter two there if you go to "My stories" on my blog if you want to read it before I post chapter 2.