Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.

Written for the Rubiks Cube Competition - RegulusMarlene.

Written for the Ship Til You Drop Competition - RegulusMarlene

Written for the Fanfiction Marathon Competition - RegulusMarlene

Die Inside

I know I should stay away from her. She belongs to Sirius, or at least, that is the message he puts across whenever I see him with her. A possessive arm around her waist, or a kiss to her temple. He's warning others away from her, because he can see, he knows how desirable she is. I wonder sometimes if part of the reason I want her is because he wants her.

Its not like I planned to enjoy her quiet company. She forced herself on me in the library, and I couldn't tell her to piss off like I wanted too. There was an innate sadness about her, and I don't know what caused it, still to this day I don't know why she looked so sad on that sunny Saturday afternoon, but I just didn't have the heart to tell her to move.

It's not like she bothered me anyway. Not one word crossed her lips from the moment she sat down at my lonely table at the back of the library. She seemed to take comfort from my presence though, and honestly, it was... it was nice. When my own house mates are around, I have to be the perfect Black. I have to take charge of my year mates, because I am better than them. I have to lead, I have to be the boss. With her, I could be... me. Just Regulus.

After that afternoon, she seemed to seek me out whenever I was alone. She always found me, and I didn't think to ask how. We didn't speak much, if at all some days, and that was the way we both liked it. Some days, she would be smiling when she took a seat beside me, some days there would be that same sadness on her face from the first time. I didn't ask. She didn't tell.

Now, she joins me on the Astronomy tower at night. Again, I don't know how she figured out that I would be up here, but she joins me, and she holds my hand and we watch the stars. Its comfortable.

But it's changing.

I don't just enjoy her company any more. I crave it. The feeling of wanting her is eating me up inside, and I know I cannot have her. I should stop going up the Astronomy Tower. I should stop studying at the lonely table at the back of the library where I know she will always find me. I'm falling, hard, fast and too deep in her.

The feeling is terrifying. This wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to fall in love with a bloody Gryffindor, I wasn't supposed to fall in love at all. I have a destiny to follow, one that has been forced on me, but one that I must follow regardless, and there is no place for her in that.

But I cannot let her go.

xxxx

Screams rent the air, and I stand beside my brothers in war. It is hot and uncomfortable under the mask and cloak I wear, but it is a part of who I am now, and I cannot take them off. Lights fly this way and that as both sides fight viciously against the other. It is my first battle, and I know I am being watched carefully, know that a report will be taken back to the Dark Lord about me.

It is a terrifying thought, the punishment that will befall me if I do not impress whoever has been charged with watching me. I push myself into the fray, cutting down the opposition as I go. It is them or me, and I have always had a strong sense of self preservation.

My brother and his friends are here, and the first strike of fear pierces through my chest. If they are here, then she is here. I move away from Sirius, shooting against another group instead. Hopefully, she will be with them, and if anything happens to her, I can safely blame Sirius for not protecting her properly.

But life has never been that kind to me.

Because there she is, right in front of me. She has been injured, she is laying on the floor. Why has she not been moved? And then Bellatrix is there, and her eyes are gleaming through her mask at me.

"Kill her," she demands, and it is then that I know it is her who will be reporting on my performance.

Her or me.

She opens her eyes as I move closer to her, and I know, I know she knows it me. She can see through the mask, because the way she is looking at me, she knows.

"Avada Kedavra."

Marlene is dead. As I watch the life leave her eyes, inside, I die too.