Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.

AN - Warning for angsty twin-loss type things. I guess. Sort of anyway.

Years Go By

It's been a year since the battle, a year since my twin left me on my own and yet it still feels as fresh and painful as it did the day it happened. Why did it have to be him and not me? He had no right to die, no right to leave me. I feel like a part of me is missing. I can't complete sentences. I stop half way through, expecting him to finish them for me, but silence is all I hear. I am in silence a lot these days, because nobody knows what to say to me any more. I don't blame them, I don't even know what to think, never mind say. Its like he took half of my soul with him when he left, half of my brain, half of everything.

I don't find anything funny any more. Ron fell off his broom and I couldn't even crack a smile. Ginny turned Harry purple because he was annoying her, and not even a flicker of amusement could be felt. I don't know how to be an I. Its always been we, or us, and I don't know how to be a single person. I don't want to be a single person. I want my other half back.

xxxxx

It's been two years since the battle, two years since my twin left me on my own and yet it still feels as fresh and painful as it did the day it happened. I've reopened the shop, Ron is running it with me, and while I am grateful to him for doing it, Ron isn't Fred. He doesn't know me like Fred did, and I don't know him like I knew Fred. Everything is different. Why couldn't things just stay the same?

Hermione spends a lot of time here too. At first I though it was because she and Ron had finally decided to be a couple, but apparently, I missed the beginning and end of that short relationship. They're still friends, and her presence is always welcome. She can organise like no other, and not only that, when she isn't reprimanding my ideas, she's actually really good at helping me with the inventing.

xxxxx

It's been three years since the battle, three years since my twin left me on my own and yet it still feels as fresh and painful as it did the day it happened. Ron has left the shop, after much persuading, and joined the Auror Programme. He seems happy there, though he comes home from training black and blue some nights. Hermione has started coming to the flat after work, and on the weekends she spends the entire day, first in the shop then in the flat.

She helps me with inventions, and she makes me remember to eat, and she makes me smile. She makes me laugh. She's taught me how to have a sense of humor again, and she's taught me how to deal with people again. I can complete sentences on my own. I cook for her, and she brings a bottle of wine on occasion, and we talk about Fred. She laughs as she reminisces with me, listening to my many tales of pranks and misbehaviour. She makes me remember the good times.

xxxxx

It's been four years since the battle, four years since my twin left me on my own and the pain is still there. But I'm no longer alone, and the pain is manageable with laughter and remembrance, with hugs and kisses, with holding hands as we watch the stars. Hermione has made me whole again, and while I will always miss Fred, I know he wouldn't want me to live a half life. He would want me to live for both of us, to bring laughter to the world, and to be happy.