Tearoom by Miharu is Haruka's Love Child

Prologue: Rush Week (Matt POV)

A/N: THIS IS NOT A PLAGIARIZED STORY. I am the original author Miharu is Haruka's Love Child. See my profile for details.

Original A/N: Hey guys! I got this idea when reading UCLA's LGBT community newspaper called "Out Write." I know, great name eh? Anyways, I wanted to take a break from studying for my evil finals, so this was the result. Living in a Fantasy said we don't have enough fluff stories out right now, so here's my attempt at adding to the numbers, K? It will be a combination of fluff and general Crack!humor

This story is dedicated to all the bored authors out there with writer's block.

Don't own Death Note. Or Pat Benatar. Or Star Trek. Or "His Noodleness" (LOL). Or, oh you get the idea.

Never actually been to a tearoom (hello, I'm a girl).

Btw, a tearoom is a men's bathroom used for homosexual activities.

No real names of fraternities/sororities are used in this fic. Oh and usually, orientation, zero week, rush week, and movie-in week AREN'T the same week at all…but oh well…makes it more fun this way. :D

Obligatory Music Selection: "Maniac" by Michael Sembello

I took a quick look at the survey the Orientation Counselor had passed. It was all generics, so I filled it out as quickly as possible.

Name: Mail Jeevas

Major: Computer Sciences and Engineering

Year: Freshman

Was this institution your first choice? If not, please state why: Declined to state

Interested in Community Service? Uh, hell no.

Are you now or were you ever a Veteran? What the fuck? Who the hell makes these questions?

The overly excited O.C. handed us some schedules that I glanced at before tuning her out completely…She was babbling something about school pride. I didn't catch much until I felt a dozen pairs of eyes on me. She pointed to a sign that read "No smoking within 20 ft of this sign." Damn this was going to be a long day indeed…

Alright...so I glanced at the damn schedule they handed us.

Zero Week Freshman Activities- Day 1

8AM: Arrival and Orientation speech with counselors

10AM-12 PM: Registration and Commencement

12PM: LUNCH

1:30-3 PM: Club Rush Fair

5-10 PM: Move-in, Dinner, Activities

10PM-1AM: Special Guest Presentation

Table 1, 1:41 PM, Info Desk for Chi Zeta Rho (A social fraternity…a little too social)

"Hi. I'm looking for the ga—"

"Are you a virgin?"

I simply stared at the boy in front of me, "Excuse me?"

"They won't let you in if you're still a virgin." He looked back down at his paperwork, stapling a few packets together.

I gaped at him. Well yeah, I am a virgin, but who the hell did this guy think he was to ask so bluntly? And what kind of greeting was that anyways? Wasn't he supposed to be recruiting people?

He handed me the packet, "Our frat house in on the end of Weston Lane, you can't miss it. Be sure to pop a few cherries before you drop by. Next."

Most awkward 3 minutes. Ever.

Table 14, 2:11 PM, Recruitment Desk for Grace 2 U Campus Choir (or some crap like that)

"I bet you have a great singing voice!" squeaked the little brunette behind her 3-inch thick glasses.

I didn't even look twice before I said, "Sorry, not interested. I'm looking for the gaming club is it around—"

She pushed some pamphlets at me.

"Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster," I said, throwing her the Vulcan salute," Umn, actually, I'm just looking for—"

"We go on retreats and sing to raise money to send Christmas presents to little orphans in Paraguay."

I frowned, CFSM usually gets them. Persistent little mouse, eh?

"Listen, honey, unless you wanna hear my personal rendition of 'Hell is for Children', save your goodie-two shoes shit for someone who gives a fuck. Now, where're the gaming clubs?"

With wide eyes she pointed far across the soccer stadium to the edge, past the LGBT club who was giving out free condoms and anti-AIDS pamphlets. I smiled and walked in that direction. But in an entire field full of clubs and organizations, half an hour of walking still wouldn't have gotten me to my destination.

Table 49, Student Services Association, Delta Justice (the 12th Greek Organization I'd passed today)

It wasn't like the place was so damn big that I couldn't find my way around, but yeah, I'd gotten lost again. But eh, I'm a Freshman, so shove it. There was another Greek organization to my left. The little albino kid at the table seemed safe to ask directions from, so I ventured to stop. That's when I noticed what he had in his hands.

"Omygod! I thought they discontinued the Nobel models! Where did you get that Gundam?" I indicated the distinctly female robot figure in his fingers.

The dude looked up at me with blank eyes and seemed about to answer when a voice came from behind me.

"Nate! What are you doing manning our booth? No one's going to want to join if you're on recruitment duty. Where the hell is Light? I need to ask him if the preparations are all ready for my performance tonight."

I turned around and found myself facing a rather prissy-looking hippie. Giant psychedelic sunglasses covered the majority of his blond head. And oh my mushrooms, he was wearing purple skinny jeans! I had to bite rather hard not to burst out laughing.

"Light and L are working on the preparations, Mihael," said the slightly annoyed guy who was apparently Nate. " I believe as Vice-president I am quite qualified for this task."

"Co Vice-pres, dumbass." Corrected the walking rainbow, "Don't think for one minute our shared title makes you any better than me. And you, goggles, what's that smirk for?"

"Nu…Nuthin'" I said, in a failed attempt to sound innocent. "I've just never seen anyone advertise their homosexuality so…openly." I indicated the rainbow set of bangles hanging from both his arms

"Oh, you wish you could fuck this." he purred, removing the sunglasses to reveal a rather stunning set of blue eyes. " Sorry to disappoint you though, I'm not gay."

What the fuck? Saying this guy wasn't gay was like saying George Bush Jr. was a good President, or that Gary Coleman's life didn't suck. Who was he trying to fool? He was a walking rainbow.

"Well, Nate, just don't screw up too bad or L will be pissed. I'm off to find Light. Later bitches."

Well, he was a character, that's for sure.

"So was he like on his period or something?"

"Oh, Mihael's always like that before a show. You see, we're doing the special presentation for all the freshman tonight and he has a rather big part to play."

"I see…so what exactly does this whole 'student services' thing entail? That's a pretty vague calling for a fraternity." I shrugged at Nate.

"Delta Justice is a network of students devoted to improving the quality of campus life. We organize a lot of the social activities as well as manage the largest tearoom on campus."

"Tearoom?" I raised an eyebrow. "What? You guys sit around tables sipping Earl Grey with your pinkies in the air and knitting doilies?"

He actually laughed at that, which to be honest, it hadn't looked like the little guy had it in him to smile, much less laugh.

"Here," he said, scribbling something on a paper and handing it to me, "is the location. I won't tell you what goes on there, but let's just say it's an integral part of the college experience. We won't be operational for about two weeks, but make sure you stop by soon."

A little confused I pocketed the paper. This school is weird I swear…

12: 30 AM, Auditorium

"All right, wow, wasn't that just great guys. Let's give them a big hand, everyone. It takes some real talent to make condom jewelry!" said the counselor who I think was named Roy, "Now I'd like you all to give it up for Delta Justice, our Student Services Fraternity. They have a rather special presentation for all of you."

I was already expecting Mihael to walk onto the stage. What was utterly surprising, however, was that he'd replaced his rainbow with black leather. Skin tight leather. On Every inch of him. It hid none of his perfectly sculpted physic. Several girls squealed at the sight…which, yeah, when added to way he cat walked, it was downright hot.

The dude with the microphone, Roy or whatever, smiled and turned to the leather-clad blond, pointing the microphone towards him. "And what will you be doing for us tonight, Mihael Keehl?"

He threw his head back and slid his fingers through some slightly tousled blond strands, "I'm going to do what I do every time I walk in a room. I'm going to make everyone hot and bothered."

With the snap of his fingers, Michael Sembello began to play from the speakers. And Mihael began to dance. Maniac was the exact appropriate song for this guy—he owned it. His body was simply fluid and in perfect sync to the rhythm. I was watching in rapt attention, just like everyone else. Mihael, however, didn't seem to think he'd excited the audience enough, because he abruptly stopped.

Everyone was a little confused, until he reached at the zipper on his vest. His tugged agonizingly slow. Then he let it slip right off his arms, revealing his perfect abs. He continued dancing, more frantic than his earlier fluidity, but damn. Simply damn. He began to touch himself rather inappropriately, causing more squeals from the girls in the audience. I was growing rather uncomfortable with how much I was enjoying the display.

I couldn't be the only guy who went hard when his fingers slid to the lacings on his crotch.

He turned around, giving us a perfect view of his ass as he undid his pants. Someone from offstage threw a top hat towards him and he caught it in his left hand as he swirled around to greet us. I held my breath when he slid the hat over his crotch and slowly kicked the pants down…sooo wasn't helping the tent in my jeans…

When the black fabric was resting on his ankles, he reached down with one hand to yank them off completely, and still swaying to the motion of the song, he threw them into the audience.

I know I was sitting ten rows from the stage, and I'm sure the probability of it is like super slim, but I'm not fucking kidding you—they landed in my face…

A/N: ahahaha. they landed in his face.

Comments would be much appreciated.