There was no lakeside. There was no sun or cloudless skies. There was no fresh water alongside a salty breeze. And there was no Dean's angel. He would have remembered.

Dean woke to a sliver of sunshine peering through the crack of the curtains, eyes blurring and burning from the sudden light. Dean was sitting awkwardly on the deceivingly uncomfortable chair while Cas was snoring softly against him. He didn't have the heart to move him nor did he feel he had the strength to face the tears or the missing warmth. He stayed there for a few moments, enjoying the peace of Cas' rhythmic and even breaths and the sight of his little brother having a moments peace in sleep.

Dean's noticed a huge improvement in his brother since Gabe's little, weird angel mojo act. Sam hasn't moaned in his sleep, hasn't woken up in frightened gasps and he hasn't mumbled to someone who wasn't there. He was, dare Dean say it, fine. He was okay and Dean would take what he could get and ask for no more. Sammy was okay and that was all that he wanted, all that he prayed for actually.

The thought of praying brought up the memory of his dream. Not the empty one from last night but the one before Cas' really fricking scary revelation (he'll get to that later when Gabe shows his feathery ass). Dean never knew how much he missed Cas, the real Castiel, so damn much. A little voice in his mind shunned him, cursed at him, reminded him that Cas hurt Sam, he betrayed him, he got Bobby killed. But a louder, clearer voice drummed into him that this was Cas. The stupid ass angel of the lord who got himself killed God knows how many times for him.

So now Dean was left wondering, worrying what the hell he was doing and how the hell was he going to take it from here. Sam was okay, sure, but how long would that last? Plus, how long would Cas be able to stay here with Sam? Dean knew Sam was handling it the best he could, maybe trying to deal with the little guilt trip Cas pulled the other day but he knew his little brother inside out and knows that Sam was acting out. Cas hasn't dug himself into Sam's heart just yet, which they both so desperately needed. He couldn't be pissed at Sam, but the amount of times he brushed off Cas without so much as a glance towards the angel or ignored Cas' questions or the cold stares directed at Cas' back didn't sit right with Dean. He understood, he really did, but at this point in time Cas was just a kid, even if Sam didn't know about Cas' current dream hiking situation, he had no reason to act so coldly towards him. Dean felt a little guilty about the sudden change of heart but he couldn't help but remember how good it felt to have the old Cas back beside him. So it worried him even more when the little angel woke up screaming last night, claiming that the fledgling's bogeyman was out after him. The sudden thought of someone or something getting their mottled hands all over Cas sent Dean's heart sinking into his stomach. He really didn't want to think any deeper about the reason.

Dean softened his grip on the sleeping angel, hoping to keep him asleep for what was going to come next. He lifted Castiel, head tucked underneath Dean's chin, and settled him gently onto Dean's bed which was basically Cas' anyway. Tucking him inside the covers and noticing how little of the blanket completely covered him up to his chin , which was just a heart wrenching reminder of how small and vulnerable Cas was and how easy it would be for the Leviathan to hurt him.

He needed to call Gabe.

Like right the hell now.

Dean took a deep breath in, preparing himself for what probably would be a hellstorm of a conversation. He stood up slowly and walked away from the bed, trying his best to be quiet. Closing his eyes, he whispered in a gruff and tired voice; 'Hey Gabe, need you down here.'

When he opened his eyes after a brief moment and found nothing, he closed them again, sucked in a breath and whispered through gritted teeth; 'Come on man, it's about Cas.'

When he opened his eyes once again, finding nothing but two snoring bodies, unconscious on their beds, he whispered-shouted 'Dear archassangel Gabriel, please may you get your feathery ass down here pronto.'

'Gosh Dean, what got your pink frilly panties in a twist?'

Dean whirled around at the sudden presence, noting the cockiness in angel's tone. He wanted to punch the angel in the face already, only just reigning in his anger. Gabriel was leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, head tilted to the side, wearing that typical smirk.

'You were watching weren't you?' Dean sighed. Gabriel giggled quietly.

'Course I was, swooped in when you were drooling and Cassie was snoring...What?' Gabe scoffed when Dean silently glared, 'You think I was gonna miss out on your cuddlefest? Puh-lease.' Gabriel waved his hand as he spoke and straightened himself up when he noticed Sam's sleeping form.

'Looks like the BFG is doing mighty fine,' Gabriel looked up at Dean and smiled proudly. He couldn't help but lift the corner of his lips ever so slightly. Yeah, Sam was doing alright.

'Yeah, about that Gabe. Look, I, uh, just wanna say tha-'

'No need for another feminita talk Dean-o.' Gabe winked, walking past the hunter and sat in Dean's chair next to Cas. He watched Cas sleep for a few moments, counting the number of times his little chest rose and fell. Dean couldn't help but think of an older Castiel sitting beside him while he slept and shrugged. Must be an angel thing.

And Dean missed it.

'How has he been?' The timidness and uncertainty of the question completely shocked Dean. He was hoping he didn't have to explain, but like Gabe said, he swooped in too late to see the state Cas was in.

'I-uh, he's doing,' Dean sighed, '...Not good Gabe.'

Gabriel's brow furrowed in confusion and concern.

'Why? What happened?' Dean watched as Gabe's hand reached for his brother's, almost subconsciously, while he frowned at the hunter.

'He had a nightmare' Dean blurted out, hoping to get this over with. Gabriel just looked even more confused.

Gabriel scoffed, 'Nightmare? Dean-o hate to break it to ya but he's faced a lot worse than a damn nightmare.'

'Wait, no...no Gabe there's more to it,' Dean sighed once more. He internally wished he had told Gabriel sooner, maybe then the Leviathans couldn't have reached Cas' mind in the first place. The silence that followed alerted Dean to Gabriel's wary interest.

'Well?'

'He...He had a nightmare...but it wasn't exactly a nightmare,' God Dean was crap at explaining things without upsetting an archangel.

'Stop beating around the bush Dean and spit it out,' Gabriel growled quietly.

'It was them. The Leviathans.'

Gabriel was right in front of his face in less than a second.

'What?'

'T-they were talking to him. Said they were on their way to take him,' Dean gulped, intentionally looking away to avoid Gabriel's rage filled eyes.

'Why would those abominations want anything to do with Castiel?' Gabriel seethed. Dean didn't like the way 'abomination' brought up his memory of Cas getting his ass kicked in his creepy ass dream.

'Gabe, look. Just don't go all-'

'Just tell me Dean!' Gabe shouted, voice shielded from waking the others. Dean was pretty sure there wasn't thunder and lightning a minute ago.

Dean broke while looking at the flickering lights outside, 'They did it! Okay? Those fucking monsters did this to Cas an-'

'You never mentioned anything about my brother being attacked by the Leviathan,' Gabriel growled in a low voice. Shit.

Dean froze. 'W-what?'

Gabriel took a threatening step forwards, looking Dean straight in the eye. 'You knew this whole time what did this to him? You had me chase pointless leads for Sammy's emotional rollercoaster while my brother is trapped, scarred and hunted?,' he seethed as Dean flinched his use of Sam's nickname. 'You lied you stupid worthless piece of-' Gabriel paused and laughed heartlessly, not even close to reaching his eyes. 'I gotta tell you Dean, I didn't think you were this-this fucking stupid to hide something like this.'

' Gabe, It's not what you thi-' Dean couldn't finish as the sudden light burnt his eyes, the cold, crisp air tingling his skin while he was slammed against the Impala's door. He let out a gasp as a fierce burn riveted through his back, while thick rain drops smothered his face.

'I haven't smited in a few hours Dean.' Gabriel growled his name as he came face to face with the hunter, meaning it as a threat and Dean knew he wasn't bluffing.

'W-wait Gabe. I just-I just needed...' Pain swallowed his entire spine.

'You needed to what? Gabriel spat impatiently.

'I needed Sam to... agh God Gabe, couldn't you've thrown me against somethin' softer?'

Gabriel only glared in response.

'Alright, alright, Dammit. I just needed Sam to...to y'know get over Cas, get some closure or somethin'... '

When he received no response, Dean sighed and continued.

'He was bad Gabe, like, real bad. He couldn't even sleep 'cause Cas and all the hell crap was scaring the shit outta him...I just-I needed Sammy to be alright and Cas was going to hand that to him. I just needed a little more time with Cas like this to help Sammy get over every-everything... I'm sorry Gabe.' He gasped his last words as the burning spiralled up his back.

After a few moments of silence, apart from the patter of rain, and intense pain, Dean suddenly felt a soft press on his forehead and the engulfing flames of pain dissipated, his hair and clothes dry once again. He let out a breath in relief and looked up at Gabriel, whose eyes had fractionally softened, while finding them both back in the dryness of his motel room.

'That better be the damn reason Dean-o, you stupid asshole, you could've got him killed,' Gabe sighed, 'You're lucky I like your flabby ass enough not to send you to the bottom of my fav volcano.' And Dean wasn't sure if that was an actual joke. He wouldn't put it past Gabe to actually take up on it though. 'And listen Dean, I don't care what you do as long as my lil' bro is good but don't you dare put him second to anyone,' he said all too seriously.

'Got it Gabe...and we don't.' Dean said earnestly while Gabriel backed off slightly but as Gabe turned to walk back into the kitchen, he paused and turned his head to catch his eye.

'Don't keep things away from me again... We clear?' Gabriel lowered his voice in a way Dean couldn't deny scared the shit out of him.

'Crystal'

...

Both older brothers were in the kitchen while the others slept. Apparently, neither little brother heard the 'heated conversation' inside or out thanks to Gabe, so Dean could finally strategise a way to get out of this Leviathanal mess.

'Please tell me you know something about them,' Dean sighed as he drew out the cracked plastic chair from under the too tall table while Gabe sat on top of the counter, typically sucking a lollipop.

'Well...I remember big brother Micky having a bitch fight with one of the older members of their little frenzy on Dad's behalf. They pissed him off bad, killing others for the hell of it, denying faith, peace yadda yadda yadda. They even killed a couple of us. I hated them but Dad tried to save them. In the end, they were too assholish to even try. The scribe, a fucking suck-up dick if you ask me, wrote down the spell Dad used to lock 'em up. Took a lot of Grace to plug 'em up but it was one helluva relief when Purgatory was made and they were gone.'

'Shit...they can kill angels?' Dean let out a strained breath.

'If they can do that to Cas and hold him down and were strong enough to hold up against Dad, don't you think they can kill us?'

Dean did remember the Leviathan laughing away as they told him his angel was gone. He didn't need the reminder of what that felt like.

'You know the spell?' Dean asked, changing the subject. He still had a little bit of hope, if that helped at all but the silence that followed left Dean feeling uneasy.

'Gabe? You know a spell?' Dean sighed frustratingly as Gabe shook his head and glanced away before jumping from the counter, lollipop in hand, and pausing at the bedroom door.

'Dean-'

God Dean could laugh.

'No Gabe, you just gave me crap 'bout not having Cas at number one and if you know a damn spell then-'

'NO DEAN!' The sheer volume of Gabriel's voice shook everything Dean could see, silencing him. He didn't need to ask to know that the others were still sleeping peacefully. Dean drew up all the nerves he had and got up from his seat to stand in front of the counter where Gabe sat. He just hoped that Gabe wouldn't smite him for getting too close.

'Why not?' Dean asked as he caught Gabriel's hesitant gaze. He tried his best not to sound too offensive and a little intimidated but he couldn't help but flinch at the crack in his voice, 'Gabe, why the hell not?'

'We...' Gabe paused, looking Dean straight in the eye, 'We have to cure Cas before we lock 'em up otherwise he stays like that forever. It'll make 'em weaker too, break the link and it'll be easier to throw them back into Purgatory. But we need the blood of the Leviathan to cure him so if we get rid of 'em before Cas, then he's stuck and we can't do squat so...' Gabriel asked in a completely opposite tone to just prior, stunting Dean for moment, and leaving him uncertain.

'Gabe-' Dean said softly, still alert.

Gabriel peered up at the ceiling, but due to the unfocused gaze, Dean guessed he saw much more than that. 'If we sacrifice a soul, and use the blood and spell needed with it, it will counteract whatever they did on Cas. The power of the soul will burn their mark on him that the spell caused, and break their link to this world. They'll be weaker without him. Then I'll be able to use Dad's spell and send 'em back to Purgatory and Cas will be Castiel again.'

Dean backed up as Gabriel jumped off the counter to stand and walk over to the doorway to the bedroom, all the while attempting to process what Gabriel was trying to tell him.

'Okay...okay but why'd they make him miniature if all they had to do was mark him to stay here?'

Gabriel turned away from Cas and Sam's sleeping forms and faced Dean with burdened eyes, 'I don't know, Dean. I'm not they fricking stalker.'

'Right. Sorry,' Dean hesitated,' So what do we need?'

Gabe scoffed, 'Cassie would kill me for telling you.'

Dean glared, 'I don't care. You toldme this much. Just tell me the rest and let's get it over with.'

Gabriel was silent, clearly debating with himself

'Gabe,' Dean growled as he heard a rumbling snore echo through the doorway.

'Yeah alright,' the angel shook his head, 'but if Cas so much as looks at me the wrong way, don't think I'm not gonna say you blackmailed my ass.'

'Fine. Whatever. We need just any soul?'

'A human...pure soul,' Gabriel's voice dropped in volume, almost as though scared that Cas would hear.

'Who qualifies?'

Gabriel sighed, growing annoyed at Dean's impatience and intensity, and met his eyes.

'Gabe,' Dean growled as he moved forward, 'Who qualifies?'

'Any soul which has been purified by Heaven.'

Shit. He already knew how this was going to end but, helplessly, Dean gathered himself and continued.

'Why does it have to be purified?' Dean's voice betrayed him.

Gabriel gave him a pained look before, 'They burn the brightest.'

Dean swallowed a lump in his throat. 'So...what? I have to do it?'

'Castiel brought you back from perdition and, yes, he purified your soul. He was the one to rescue you, so he insisted he would finish forming your return. Stubborn bastard wouldn't let you go.'

That was news to Dean. He never really heard much from Cas' time up in Heaven and the guilt that came with knowing he didn't even think to ask about it hurt, but knowing Cas fought for him before Dean even formally met him sent a jolt of warmth through him.

'So me,' Dean said bluntly, desperately trying to block out emotions which would compromise saving Cas.

Cas saved me. I'm gonna save him.

'There are a few others but I-'

'No, we're not bringing others into this,' Dean said determinedly yet shakily. Especially Sam, now that Gabriel wiped the hell cage scars free from his soul, Dean guessed Sam classed as sacrificial as well. But there was no hesitation in pushing Sam aside in this, it never came down to Sam yet It always came down to this, didn't it? 'So how does it work?'

Gabriel continued to pull a worrying face and said in a weary tone, 'I know a witch for Cassie's spell but Dad's...It was, like, millions of years ago and the scribe still has the tablet for the Leviathans so I'm gonna have to dig around for the guy,' Gabe paused and took in a breath, 'But, you could die, or something else could leave you squirming. It's an old spell. And it's a big choice. It'll take me awhile to gather what I need. Make your mind up by then.' Gabriel suddenly flickered next to a sleeping Cas and said, 'Don't get him into trouble or I'll burn your ass,' before he flew away.

...

The other two woke up around ten knowing none the wiser. Gabriel returned with a lead, the Scribe was last seen somewhere in some random city in Russia, apparently looking for some ancient book about long lost and extremely rare tales, whatever the hell that means. While Cas was awake and Sam wary of Dean's sudden restlessness, Gabriel took the hint to let the sacrifice issue lay low until further notice. In any case, Gabriel continued to search secretly and Sam and Cas were unaware of the weight on their brother's shoulders. Cas was teary, sensitive and a little on edge but no one could blame him. Leviathans could be around the corner at any moment and Dean wasn't going to raise the issue. He needed to give Sam the heads up about Gabriel's plan and he was going to as soon as Cas was safely unconscious in bed but he did let Sam know the Leviathans were tracking them but he carefully avoided the solution of the whole thing. Sam didn;t ask too many questions to Dean's relief. That can wait for another day. Today, Cas was especially clingy towards Dean, always there by his side during everything and Dean means everything. God, don't get him started but he knew how it was. So he let the little angel follow.

Sam was good still. No weird freak outs since Cas' return. Before they woke, Gabriel gave Dean the guilty reminder that Dean kept vital secrets from him to help Sam overcome his hatred for Castiel and yet nothing has changed, but now Dean wasn't so sure. He wasn't sure if he was imagining it but Sam was becoming a little more tolerable to Castiel's presence today. If the angel couldn't reach his drink or the TV remote but Dean was too busy cooking, Sam (without hesitation) would get up and help and ask if he needed anything else instead of completely ignoring Cas' struggles and telling him to keep it down, so Dean must have done something right, or maybe Cas was sneakier than they all thought and crept into Sam's heart faster than expected.

All in all, it was a normal day, apart from the high alert for Leviathans and Gabriel's fussiness over Castiel which included the dirty looks he would target at Sam if Castiel flinched at the smallest of contact between the two. That was one of the reasons Dean had Cas trailing after him. After all, forgiveness worked both ways and they both had work to get through, both needed to rebuild the trust they lost.

Sam mostly researched how to kill the Leviathans and stockpiled cleaning products that contained Borax while Gabriel watched over Castiel with Dean. It was the most Dean had experienced to a normal day for a long time but it was far from perfect. Perfect would be getting Cas back to Castiel and not having to keep his guard up, preventing him from truly relaxing. They hardly went out, except for Gabe getting what they needed for research and food. They couldn't risk the chance of being seen and not just by Leviathans. Not with Castiel and Sam in the states they were in. Dean cooked that night, burgers and fries which Cas adored. He liked cheese with his while, to Dean's surprise, Sam actually ate with them. It felt good.

Sam and Cas were too exhausted to keep their eyes open no longer past ten, so Gabe and Dean were able to sort out a plan which was basically searching for the spells. Gabriel flew off at around midnight, searching for the witch to cure Cas and hopefully find something about the scribe he mentioned. Dean couldn't fall asleep until around three and he really needed some shut eye. He was on edge, with Sam's recent recovery, Cas' 'resurrection' and Leviathans hunting their asses. Dean couldn't keep the adrenaline from pumping through his veins and his hand from twitching with the need to hold something sharp and deadly. The one time he was out of his depth and he actually acknowledged it, was the one time an allied archangel flew off to find some fricking scribe.

Of course, Dean was just trying to distract himself from the biggie. Another sacrifice he signed himself up to. How can he not? He wouldn't have someone else dying for their dumbass mistakes nor will he allow the Leviathan to wonder around freely. Plus, he could get his Cas back. It's a win win, if they just ignore the price. The last time he willingly tried to give himself up, the only person who wasn't afraid to get Dean to listen was Castiel. The irony. Cas was wearing the same pissed off, deadly face as the last time.

Damn, sleep took him out fast.

'What the hell were you thinking Dean?!' Cas fumed while he was pacing underneath the starred sky of the field. Dean just stood there, having no idea how to answer while he recognised where they were. He wondered if Cas brought this memory up or if Dean was really that eager to relive this night with Sammy one more time before time's up.

'I don't know what you're talking about Cas, need you to be a little clearer,' Dean said distractedly as he peered past the surrounding trees, waiting for the fireworks to paint the dull night sky. He couldn't help but hope this conversation would last long enough for him to show Cas. It would probably be the first one the angel ever saw.

'I'm not oblivious, Dean. I saw as soon as you fell asleep what you are about to do.'

'Yeah well, better me than anyone else. Sammy's is as good as, you'll be fine after this, the world will be safe and Gabe will go back to sucking lollipops and making porn movies.'

'This is not something to be taken lightly. We don't know what will happen to you. The curse marked my Grace. I'm tainted and whatever I'm tainted with will scorch itself onto your soul. It's dark magic, Dean, I'm linked to them, and if what I can remember is correct, you'll become a perfect soul for hell to take. You'd be branded.'

'A little late to worry 'bout that Cas, ain't it?' Dean said with a hint of sarcasm, while his voice mostly shook. Cas wasn't making this any easier. The angel caught onto Dean's watery gaze with disbelief.

'This isn't some cycle Dean! I'm not going to convince you every time you are anywhere near damned that you are always deserving of peace, of being saved. I sacrificed everything for you, I died more times than should be even possible and you're telling me that you are willing to give everything that I have done for you up, for my life? How is that fair?'

'That's the point Cas! You died for me and Sam, twice!, and you're stuck like this. Tell me, how's that fair?' Dean growled.

'This my penance, Dean,' Cas growled back. 'Perhaps I deserve more than a slight vessel malfunction but I do not need allowing you to die on my long list of mistakes. This is and should be my choice and I choose this Dean'

'Yeah, okay...then this is mine,' Dean said as he glanced back up at the sky. It was darker than he remembered.

Silence brought him back to facing the angel, his face pure disbelief and anger. Cas was still, looking down at the grass and said in a quiet voice, 'Dammit Dean. I would never have asked anyone for this. Why on God's name would you believe I would allow you of all people?' Cas started pacing again, noticeably trying to avoid Dean's gaze.

'Allow?' Dean scoffed, 'Well I'll be damned. Someone thinks a lot of themselves.'

'You know what I mean, Dean,' Cas said quietly.

'No, Cas, I don't know. You think you're the only one with a damn choice. Well, open your eyes. This is mine and I ain't changing it.'

'The spell can be done without a sacrifice. It can be done without my linking with the Leviathans needing to be destroyed.'

'Then why would Gabe even bring it up?!' Dean shouted, only to reign himself in when he realised he was the only one raising his voice.

'It would be easier, I must admit but I know them Dean,' Cas looked directly at Dean, eyes pleading, 'they fear me knowing and they fear you and your brother's capabilities. All you have to do is destroy their leader, without anyone sacrificing themselves. Gabriel is unaware of this. Please Dean, don't give yourself up for this. After my mistake.'

'What will happen to you, if we manage to kill 'em without breaking the spell?'

'I will be here'

Dean sighed, 'Not what I mean, Cas.'

'I will stay here. The Leviathans will be gone and you will be safe. This is the best outcome that could possibly take place so, please Dean, just take it.'

Dean nodded unconvincingly, looking away to the surrounding trees.

Castiel sighed, 'Dean-'

'That why they're after you? 'Cause you know all this?'

Castiel nodded. 'That is the only realistic reason.'

Then Dean remembered something and he directed his pissed of glare back towards the angel.

'Dammit Cas. Is that the thing you wouldn't tell me about when we last talked? When you said before somethin'. You knew all this time that they were hunting you.'

'I'm sorry Dean, at the time other things were deemed more important but you need to listen-'

'I don't think sharing a beer and chilling by the lake is more important, dammit.'

'Dean, just listen! You need to kill the Leviathan in charge. Will you do this?' Castiel asked pleadingly.

When Dean held back his response, Cas reluctantly continued, 'and if...', he hesitated, 'and if what I told you is incorrect, then you must break the link Dean. Without your sacrifice.' Castiel moved closer to catch Dean's gaze and Dean couldn't help but get caught in the angel's pleading eyes. 'You must destroy it.'

It didn't take too long for Dean to understand.

Hell no.

'Hang on a sec Cas, you can't-'

'There will be no other way, Dean.'

Dean couldn't hold it in, 'Yeah. That's what you said the last time and look where that got us.'

Castiel looked away, regret and hurt burnt fiercely behind blue eyes, 'I...I thought I was doing the right thing.'

'Yeah you always do,' Dean looked away too, anger melting away any sense of reason.

He wished he didn't hear the pained gasp as Castiel broke their gaze.

'Dean I-' Cas' voice broke, hurt and shame written all over his face, 'I never intended to hurt either of you. I tried, Dean...I tried to-' and his voice completely faltered. It broke Dean, seeing the complete breakdown of Castiel's stoic shell and knowing too well what Cas was about to say. He fought the bastards that shared his body, he begged them to stop tormenting him with orders, with threats he couldn't take (although Dean never knew what exactly they said to get Cas to hurt those people) and to stop controlling him. He died trying. The angel stood there rigidly, looking down at his feet in pained silence until he once again found his voice, still avoiding Dean's regretful gaze. 'T-tell Gabriel what I know. I...I'm sorry Dean.'

Then he flew away.

The hunter couldn't help but curse when the first firework broke out into the blank canvas of the sky, illuminating the empty space where Castiel once stood, wishing that he could've held onto his angel for a moment longer.