Part 13: Table Manners, Dusting and Eyebrows

Johnny has noticed recently how Two-Bit and Dallas act at the table. They usually used their coffee table as a dining table because they didn't have room for an entire table in their tiny apartment. He thought Two-Bit's manners were especially atrocious because he didn't even drink from a cup properly, most of it would end up on the floor instead of in his mouth. Dallas didn't sit up straight at the table and would slouch, almost in a painful looking manner. Johnny sighed heavily, thinking it was somewhat funny that he had proper manners and he had no parents to really teach him. He couldn't really blame Dallas, he never had a proper upbringing but Two-Bit didn't have many excuses to pull. The redhead's mother did all she could to raise Two-Bit properly it was just the fact he didn't like to have rules put over his head. The raven haired boy was sitting on the couch when he decided to tell them he would be their teacher for manners, he looked to both older men.

"You know what? I'm going to teach you two proper table manners." Johnny said with a soft smile and the only response he got was loud annoyed groaning.

"Johnny, I already know my table manners!" Two-Bit whined and pouted.

Dallas didn't comment but Johnny could tell he was greatly annoyed by the way his eyebrows were arched at him. The raven haired boy shrugged it off and stepped from his seat.

"Two-Bit you don't know how to drink from a cup from properly." Johnny stated and Two-Bit huffed.

"I do to know how to drink from a cup!" Two-Bit retorted and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You don't even put your lips to the cup like you're supposed to, Keith." Johnny commented and crossed his arms as well.

"I think it's cool to just pour it in my mouth because it looks like a waterfall!" Two-Bit defended and Johnny facepalmed.

"You're lucky I'm even trying to teach you, I could just get some sippy cups and force you to use them so you won't make a mess." Johnny stated and smirked at the redhead.

"You're a meanie, Johnny." Two-Bit whined and huffed even more.

"I'm not being a meanie, I just don't want you guys to look like idiots." Johnny said.

"You're not going to say anything about Dallas? Ugh!" Two-Bit cried and fell to his knees on the floor.

"Dallas has a problem with slouching." Johnny said and Dallas punched Two-Bit in the arm when the redhead smirked at him.

"Well, I never learned table manners." Dallas admitted and Two-Bit giggled.

"You're an idiot, Dallas." Two-Bit sniggered and Dallas punched Two-Bit in the arm.

"Shut the Hell up, you fuck nut." Dallas retorted and Two-Bit glared at him.

Two-Bit slapped the blond on the arm and Dallas slapped Two-Bit back, soon they were in the middle of a sissy slap fight. Dallas and Two-Bit were squealing like little girls at each other and screaming when one of them hit too hard. Johnny sighed heavily and broke them up by getting in the middle of them, Two-Bit slapped Johnny against the head.

"Hey!" Johnny yelled and glared at Two-Bit.

"Sorry, Johnny.." Two-Bit apologized and pouted.

"I'm going to teach you guys those manners whether you want me to or not. We start tomorrow, be prepared." Johnny stated as sternly as he could and walked to the bedroom.

. . .

Two-Bit, Dallas and Johnny were all sitting on the floor at their coffee table. The redhead was resting his elbow on the table with his face resting in his hand. Johnny simply warmed up a can of tomato soup to use as food and Two-Bit scrunched his face up at his food.

"Johnny, I hate tomatos! Especially in soup form!" Two-Bit whined and groaned.

"Get over it, I didn't feel like actually cooking." Johnny said and sighed.

Dallas took a drink from the cup of water in front of him, Two-Bit looked at his cup of water. He groaned and pushed the cup away from him.

"I don't like water either!" Two-Bit cried.

"That probably explains why you get so sick sometimes." Johnny retorted and Two-Bit glared at him.

"Shut it." Two-Bit stated and rested his face in his hand once again.

Johnny rolled his eyes and looked over at Dallas, he noticed the blond was slouching heavily at the table. Johnny wondered how it was so hard to sit up straight at a table, he coughed to get the blond's attention.

"Dallas, you cannot slouch at the table." Johnny said and Dallas rolled his eyes and sighed in irritation.

"But Johnny, it hurts my back to sit up straight!" Dallas complained and Johnny was beginning to get annoyed by his lovers excuses.

"Deal with it, Dallas, now sit up." Johnny scolded and Dallas sat up and crossed his arms, he mumbled to himself.

Johnny looked back over to the redhead and noticed Two-Bit had his elbows on the table, he leaned over and poked the redhead.

"You can't have your elbows on the table." Johnny said and Two-Bit made a high pitched whining noise.

"Johnny!" Two-Bit complained and Johnny shushed him.

"No, Keith. Elbows, off the table, now." Johnny demanded but the redhead refused.

"But my neck gets tired and holding my head up helps!" Two-Bit cried.

"It probably gets tired from holding up that big head of yours all the time now, take your elbows off the table." Johnny demanded once again.

Two-Bit's mouth was agape at the insult Johnny had just thrown at him, he shut his mouth and put his hands on his lap. Dallas and Two-Bit pouted and stared down at the table, Johnny taped lightly on the table to get their attention. The couple looked over at Johnny and continued to pout, the shy boy didn't give in to them.

"Alright, now both of you take a drink from your glasses. I wanna see exactly how you guys do it." Johnny requested and the couple complained to themselves as they picked up their cups in unison.

Two-Bit poured the water into his mouth, his lips never touched the glass. Johnny stared at him, wondering how he did that but then noticed the water that trickled down the redhead's chin. Johnny then looked over at Dallas, seeing that the blond had no problems like Two-Bit did.

"You did good, Dally, you just need to grip your cup better." Johnny said and smiled.

The raven haired boy turned to the redhead with a frown, he noticed that the redhead was smiling like he had done something amazing.

"Two-Bit, you need to put your lips on the glass." Johnny stated and Two-Bit rolled his eyes.

"Come on! It looks like a waterfall and it's cool!" Two-Bit said and frowned at Johnny.

"I don't care, Keith. That is not how you drink from a cup. Do it properly this time and I swear if you can't, I will buy some sippy cups and you can use them for now on." Johnny said sternly and Two-Bit stared at Johnny.

"I'm not a baby!" Two-Bit defended.

"From how you drink, you are a baby." Johnny said with a soft smirk.

Two-Bit grumbled to himself and picked up his glass again, he put his lips to the cup and drank from it properly. He swallowed the water and put his cup down, he looked at Johnny for approval.

"Good job, Keith!" Johnny congratulated and Two-Bit smiled.

"Two-Bit, you're a moron. Who even drinks like that?" Dallas teased and Two-Bit glared at the blond.

Two-Bit picked up his silver spoon and quickly reached over the small table to hit Dallas on the side of the head with his spoon. Dallas sat still in stunned silence but then gave Two-Bit a pure angry look. The blond took another drink from his water but he kept the water in his mouth, Johnny watched him in confusion.

"Dal, what are-"

Dallas spit the water on Two-Bit from his side of the table, he smiled smartly at the redhead. Two-Bit stared at the blond for a moment, he felt surprised and disgusted at the same time.

"You guys need to stop!" Johnny complained but Two-Bit reached accross the table and got a fistful of Dallas's blond hair.

Dallas gave Two-Bit a warning stare, the redhead ignored the warning look in his eyes.

"Don't you dare!" Dallas warned but the redhead pulled his hair really hard anyway.

Dallas stared at Two-Bit with his mouth agape, he growled and grabbed a fistful of his lovers hair and pulled harder than Two-Bit had before. Two-Bit groaned in pain and pulled Dallas' even harder, the blond instantly returned the favor. Johnny sat and watched the couple simply pull each others hair, each time pulling harder and harder.

"I'm gonna lose my hair! Stop!" Dallas yelled.

"I'm not stoppin' until you stop!" Two-Bit yelled right back and continued to pull his hair.

"Both of you quit! You're gonna spill the food!" Johnny intervened and pushed them apart.

Dallas rubbed his head and squinted his eyes in pain, trying to make the redhead feel bad. Two-Bit stuck his nose in the air and crossed his arms, refusing to ever feel bad about what he did.

"Johnny, Keith hurt me!" Dallas complained and Johnny rolled his eyes.

"Get over it, it's not like he doesn't pull your hair in bed." Johnny stated and Dallas sat in his quiet defeat.

Snowbell and Winston began to mew softly around the table, they smelled the soup. They were gratefully hungry even though Johnny had just fed them, Snowbell jumped onto the table first and made a beeline for Johnny's bowl.

"Snowbell, no! I just fed you." Johnny said as he grabbed Snowbell and placed her on the floor.

Snowbell simply meowed at Johnny, begging him for the food but he refused to give in to his cat.

"Quit it, Snowbell, you're not getting it." Johnny said sternly but then noticed Winston trying to steal from Two-Bit's bowl.

Two-Bit was practically wrestling with his cat over the food, he grabbed the black cat off the table and held him close to his chest.

"Ya think you can take my food like I ain't gonna care?" Two-Bit asked the cat and Winston mewed in desperation.

"Just put Winston down, Keith." Johnny ordered and Two-Bit shook his head.

"No, he tried to take my precious food!" Two-Bit whined.

"You said you didn't like tomato soup." Johnny reminded.

"So? It's still my food!" Two-Bit defended and wrestled with his cat more.

Johnny watched Two-Bit flip his cat upside down, pin the cat softly to the floor, and even pretended to body slam the cat. Johnny couldn't help but giggle at Two-Bit's wrestling, especially since it was with a cat over food. Two-Bit eventually got bored with Winston and let the cat go. Winston ran into the kitchen where he was far away from Two-Bit. Johnny stopped giggling and corrected his face back to being serious.

"Okay, now take a bite from your food." Johnny said and Two-Bit stared at his spoon like someone had stuck it in a pile of cow manure.

"I don't wanna use my spoon because it touched Dallas!" Two-Bit complained and Dallas chuckled.

"You've had my dick in your mouth multiple times before and you never complained." Dallas said with a soft smirk.

Two-Bit pursed his lips and mumbled to himself, he took his spoon and put it in his bowl. The redhead put the spoon in his mouth and he watched Dallas basically pour the soup into his mouth, his lips didn't even touch his spoon. Two-Bit began pointing at Dallas and Johnny looked over at Dallas and saw what the blond was doing. Johnny gave Dallas a look of disappointment and the blond raised an eyebrow as he laid his spoon down.

"What?" Dallas asked.

"You're supposed to put the spoon in your mouth, Dally." Johnny said softly.

"Yeah! What he said!" Two-Bit called out as he put his elbows back onto the table, the blond gave Two-Bit an angry look.

"You also have soup on your chin." Johnny said and pointed toward his pale chin.

Dallas wiped his chin off using his wrist and Johnny sighed.

"You're supposed to use a napkin to do that but we don't have any." Johnny said and saw Snowbell jump back onto the table.

"Snowbell, no," Johnny put the cat on the floor, "you do that again and I'll have to give you spankings." Johnny warned.

Snowbell simply mewed at Johnny and sat down beside her owner. Johnny took his attention off Snowbell and put it on Two-Bit, he saw that the redhead had his elbows on the table once again.

"Keith, I shouldn't have to tell you again but apparently you can't listen properly. Get your elbows off the table." Johnny demanded and Two-Bit rolled his eyes.

Two-Bit moved his arms put somehow forgot to catch his head, his head dropped and his face landed into his soup. Johnny jumped from the loud crash and noticed he had soup on his shirt now. He groaned and watched as Two-Bit slowly pulled his head up, the redhead stared ahead aimlessly and sat in shock about what just happened. Dallas could barely breathe from how hard he was laughing at the redhead, he fell over onto his side and continued his hysterics. Winston jumped onto the table and mewed at Two-Bit, he began to lick the soup off his owners face. Johnny felt like he wanted to cry, he tried so hard to try and teach his lovers something. Snowbell meowed at Johnny and jumped onto the table, she accidently put her foot into Johnny's soup but went to eat the soup anyway. Johnny quietly stood from the table and began to walk down the hallway.

"I am done, I am so done." Johnny softly said as he walked into the bedroom.

. . .

Johnny had gone to work and Dallas was out running errands for Johnny, Two-Bit was left alone with Winston and Snowbell, also with their kittens. Johnny told Two-Bit to dust the apartment as a way to keep the redhead too busy to do anything stupid or dangerous. Two-Bit went into the bedroom to try and find the feather duster Johnny had told him about earlier, it was no where to be found. He checked everywhere in the close. He wondered where it could be but eventually gave up because he just wanted to get the dusting over with. Two-Bit most likely could not find it due to him being heavily impaired because he was drunk, he wasn't thinking at all. He saw Snowbell sitting on the couch, taking a short nap. Two-Bit smiled drunkenly and walked over to the cat, he carefully picked her up.

"You're white and you'd make a perfect duster! It'll show off all the dust I cleaned up!" Two-Bit slurred and Snowbell mewed in a worried way.

"Come on, let's start with the coffee table! It gets pretty dusty underneath it." Two-Bit said as he stumbled over to the table.

Two-Bit put Snowbell on the bottom of the table and rubbed her against the table, she didn't know what to do except meow loudly in panic. The redhead merely shushed her as he used her as a duster, Snowbell was completely horrified. Two-Bit finished the table and moved to the TV stand, he rubbed her all over the stand.

When Two-Bit was finally done dusting, Snowbell was a soft brownish grey color. She mewed desperately so she could try and fix it, he put her down on the floor. Snowbell ran into the bathroom, actually wanting to take a bath for once. She tried to lick the dust off but all it did was get stuck in her mouth. She laid on the side of the tub and waited patiently for Johnny's return from his journey. Two-Bit on the other hand, decided to mess with Winston as well. He wanted to make him look like an oreo cookie so he went to find the flour, he couldn't find that either. He slightly remembered Johnny locked it in a small safe, Two-Bit chuckled and walked to the closet. He found the safe and began trying to unlock it, he got it open in no time. He found the flour and a couple of unimportant things. He slammed the door closed after he took the flour and he stood, he walked into the living room where Winston was cleaning himself. Two-Bit opened the flour and sprinkled it on the black cat, Winston jumped and sat still. He wondered what was happening but then it suddenly stopped, he heard Two-Bit laughing. Winston mewed at Two-Bit and the redhead fell to the floor from laughter.

"Look! My personal living oreo!" Two-Bit yelled and continued to howl with laughter.

Winston couldn't see what was on him but he jumped onto the love seat so he could take a nap. Two-Bit stood up and continued to giggle to himself, he walked into the kitchen to get something to snack on. Dallas arrived back home and entered the apartment, he instantly took notice of Winston being covered with flour. He simply stared at the napping cat for a moment, wondering what the Hell Two-Bit had done. He walked into the kitchen and saw Two-Bit with a potato chip bag over his head, making weird grunting noises. Dallas stared in confusion as he slowly approached Two-Bit, he lightly tapped him on the shoulder.

"WHO GOES THERE?!" Two-Bit screamed and tried to swat Dallas.

Dallas dodged the slap and glared at Two-Bit.

"It's me you idiot!" Dallas yelled and Two-Bit continued to make grunting noises.

"They stole my eyes, I can't see!" Two-Bit exclaimed and began using his hands to find his way around.

Dallas sniggered and took the bag off of Two-Bit's head, the redhead blinked and touched his face.

"My God,I can see again!" Two-Bit said happily and turned to Dallas.

"Thank ya weird pale man!" Two-Bit said and softly kissed Dallas.

Dallas blushed as Two-Bit's kisses got lower and lower then it reached the point of no return right in the middle of the kitchen.

. . .

Johnny arrived back home, completely exhausted from work. He had to deal with a near deaf old woman that couldn't understand that she couldn't return a half used bottle of syrup. He argued with her for two hours, he didn't know anyone could argue that long over syrup. He unlocked the door and stepped inside, only to be welcomed by very loud familiar noises. He sighed in annoyance and slowly stepped toward the sounds.

"IN THE KITCHEN? I'M GOING TO HAVE TO BURN THIS KITCHEN DOWN AND REBUILD JUST TO FEEL COMFORTABLE IN HERE AGAIN!" Johnny screeched and covered his eyes.

Two-Bit and Dallas jumped and scrambled to find and put their clothes back on. They managed to get dressed in a matter of seconds but were met with Johnny's scowl.

"Why can you guys never make it to the bedroom? That is where sex is supposed to happen! This is where we keep our food." Johnny said and groaned as he grabbed the mop.

"Why are you going to mop for?" Two-Bit asked confused.

"There might be liquids on the floor that shouldn't be there in the first place." Johnny muttered and motioned for the couple to leave.

"I think Keith caught most of it with his mouth..." Dallas said.

"Dallas, I did not want to know what he caught it with. Leave so I mop." Johnny said and motioned once again for the couple to leave.

Johnny mopped up the kitchen and was exhausted already but then he walked into the living room. He noticed everything was pretty shiny and not dusty, he smiled. The smile was quickly replaced with a frown when he saw Snowbell walk into the room and mew at him. He saw Snowbell's fur was dirty, he looked over at Two-Bit and raised an eyebrow.

"Keith?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah?" Two-Bit questioned with a smile.

"Did you use my cat as a duster?" Johnny asked.

"Yeah, I did." Two-Bit slurred.

"Give her a bath. Now." Johnny demanded and Two-Bit groaned.

"But she always scratches me!" Two-Bit whined.

"I don't care, you give her a bath now!" Johnny ordered and Two-Bit stood.

Johnny looked over at the love seat and saw Winston was sprinkled in flour. He buried his face into his hands and groaned in annoyance.

"Keith, give Winston a bath too!" Johnny yelled and Two-Bit walked over to pick up Dallas.

"W-What are you doing?!" Dallas asked and squirmed away from Two-Bit.

"He said give Winston a bath!" Two-Bit whined.

"Keith, you know what Winston I am talking about now go get the right one!" Johnny said and Two-Bit walked over to the flour sprinkled cat.

Winston mewed at Snowbell who was also in Two-Bit's arms and Snowbell mewed back. Two-Bit dreadfully walked to the bathroom to give the cats their baths.

Johnny plopped down next to Dallas on the couch and let out an elongated sigh. Dallas wrapped his arm around the younger boys waist and kissed him on the forehead.

"Hey, Johnnycakes, I got those errands done." Dallas whispered and Johnny sighed contently.

(A/N: "Are you finished with those errands?"

-Spongebob Squarepants)

"Good, those bills were almost late." Johnny said and yawned.

"What time is it?" Johnny asked and Dallas pulled out his phone.

"Around midnight now." Dallas said.

"Let's get to bed, Two-Bit can stay up as late as he wants." Johnny whispered and could barely stand up.

Dallas picked Johnny up into his arms and carried the tired boy into the bedroom. When the blond walked past the bathroom, he could slightly hear Two-Bit screaming and the cats hissing and growling. He snickered to himself and went into the bedroom.

. . .

Two-Bit finished giving the cats a bath and opened the door to release the felines. The two cats ran out at the speed of light as Two-Bit stepped out slowly, his arms were burning with pain. He had various bleeding scratches on his arms, he had the remains of tears on his cheeks. He was angry that Dallas got praised for doing what he did and thought it was stupid he got punished. He was still very drunk, he stumbled into the bedroom and stared at Johnny and Dallas for a moment. The redhead growled softly as he walked to the closet to get into his make-up, he needed revenge. He grabbed his box full of make-up and undid the latches, he looked inside. He grabbed his eyebrow pencil and smirked. He stood and made sure to turn out the light in the closet, he walked over to where Dallas was laying. The blond was facing the ceiling and was softly breathing, Two-Bit took the lid off the pencil.

"You think you can just be an actual functioning adult, don't you?" Two-Bit whispered and Dallas simply twitched his nose in his sleep.

Two-Bit put the pencil on the beginning of Dallas's white blond eyebrow and drew a perfect arch, he was thankful the pencil was black. The redhead smiled and made a second arch over Dallas's other eyebrow, he was very pleased.

"That's what you get for being an adult." Two-Bit slurred and stuck his tongue out at the blond.

The redhead stumbled out of the bedroom and felt everything was fading around him. He blinked slowly and managed to make it to the couch, he passed out.

. . .

Johnny slowly opened his brown eyes and yawned, he was very well rested. He needed that sleep from all he had to deal with the previous day, he sighed contently knowing it was the weekend and he didn't have to work. He noticed it was still only him and Dallas in the bed but figured Two-Bit passed out somewhere in the apartment, he rolled over to face the blond. He instantly took notice of the black arches on Dallas's forehead and snorted. Dallas's eyebrows were barely noticeable in the first place and the drawn eyebrows stood out more. Johnny lost it and began howling with laughter, Dallas was jolted awake.

"Johnny, what the Hell?" Dallas asked and scratched his head.

"You look rather surprised, Dally." Johnny snorted and continued to laugh.

Dallas raised his real eyebrow and became confused.

"What do you mean?" Dallas asked.

Johnny didn't answer, he had buried his face into his pillow and continued to laugh. Dallas wondered what was wrong with his face, he stood and walked to the bathroom. He hesitated to look but sighed heavily, he looked into the mirror. He stared at the arches on his forehead, he wondered who did this to him. He remembered Johnny had gone to bed with him and he instantly thought of a certain redhead.

"Keith Matthews! I am going to kick your lazy ass!" Dallas yelled and stomped out of the bathroom.

Johnny stepped out of the bedroom and was still giggled to himself, he followed behind Dallas.

"Dally, calm down, it was just a joke." Johnny chuckled and took a light grip of the blond's arm.

Dallas stopped and sighed heavily, he went back into the bathroom. He got a rag wet and started wiping the eyebrows off, it took a few minutes to get off. Two-Bit woke up when he heard Dallas yell and simply sat still, waiting to be beaten up but it never came. He slowly stood and ran right into the blond, Two-Bit yelped.

"Please, don't hurt me!" Two- Bit exclaimed and covered his beautiful face.

"No, it's alright." Dallas said and Two-Bit looked at him confused.

"W-Wha.."

"It's not my fault you're childish as fuck." Dallas said and shrugged.

Two-Bit scowled, "You adult!" He retorted and blew a raspberry at Dallas.

The blond chuckled, "yeah, okay, Keith." He muttered while plopping down onto the couch.

Two-Bit opened his mouth but shut it in defeat, he growled. He plopped down next to Dallas and continued to pout for the rest of the day. Johnny eventually got over his laughing fit but never got rid of the image of the eyebrows.