Title: God Knows It's the Only Way to Heal Now
Author: snarkysweetness
Rating: PG-13
Characters: May, Skye, & Phil; Philinda
Summary: She understood why Skye had locked herself away. Why she felt she was dangerous. She understood the pain in her heart and the guilt and everything else. She'd been there; her own personal hell, haunted by the demons of your past that you could never escape.
This was Skye's Bahrain and while Melinda knew she couldn't keep watch here for days she would do so until her body gave out.
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: I love these precious babies so SO much.
"Are you going to stand here all day," Phil whispered, his hand gently roaming over her back, massaging the tight balls of tension he found along the way.
Melinda wrapped her fingers around her now cold mug of tea tightly and continued to stare at the screens in front of her. "Someone has to keep an eye on her. If she won't come out or talk to us, then I'm going to do this."
"You should sleep, Melinda, I've got her. You can take a break." They'd been at this for hours, watching her on the cameras, making sure she was okay, trying to coax her from the cage; Melinda trusted Phil to stay, to protect her but she had no intention of leaving.
She understood why Skye had locked herself away. Why she felt she was dangerous. She understood the pain in her heart and the guilt and everything else. She'd been there; her own personal hell, haunted by the demons of your past that you could never escape.
This was Skye's Bahrain and while Melinda knew she couldn't keep watch here for days she would do so until her body gave out.
Melinda knew the things one could be tempted to do in this state of mind and she couldn't abandon her, even for a few hours.
The moment when she'd forgotten her gun was an Icer was the scariest moment of her long life and Melinda couldn't go through that. Not only would be it be a waste but…not Skye.
She'd lost enough, she couldn't lose her too.
Phil squeezed her shoulder and leaned in to pressed a kiss to her temple. "The two of you at least need to eat. I brought you a tray, maybe she'll open the door; she has to eat sometime."
Melinda turned to find him watching her, looking years older. This was hard on him too. They both loved her much more than they were brave enough to admit. Melinda reached up to touch his cheek briefly before moving to the tray of food.
It wasn't much; a couple of sandwiches and juice but it would do.
Melinda hadn't even noticed he'd left the room that was how focused she'd been on watching Skye.
"You'll stay and keep watch?"
He nodded in understanding and she nodded, knowing she needed to get Skye to eat, to come out, to at least go to the bathroom. She couldn't hide in her homemade prison forever.
"I'll be back…hopefully not soon."
Hopefully she opened the door and listened to reason this time. Melinda knew Skye, knew her heart, she wasn't dangerous. She could learn to control this, to cope with this. She just needed time to grieve for what she'd lost; Trip and the girl she used to be.
"Skye?" Melinda called softly, steadily holding the tray with one hand and using the other to knock. Sure, she could barge in, force her to come out, force her to talk but that wouldn't accomplish anything. She knew that from experience. All she could do was remind Skye she was here and wait for her to accept her help. Trying to force her to do anything would only make things worse.
"Go away," Skye whimpered from the other side and Melinda's heart clenched. She was crying and this was the first time she'd spoken to her since holing herself up in here.
That was a start.
"Please, Skye, you have to eat something. You can stay in there if you want, just…at least take this. I'll leave it on the floor if you want and leave. Just please eat. If not for you then for me?"
Silence.
Again.
Melinda leaned into the door and rested her forehead against the cool steel. "Skye, I know you're in pain and you're afraid and this is all…it all seems to be too much but you can't stop taking care of yourself. You can stay in there if you want but you still have to eat something, sweetheart."
Still nothing.
She sighed and stepped away. She returned a moment later with a standing tray and set the food tray on top of it. "I'm going now…there are sandwiches and they're cut into squares like you like them…" Still nothing. "And water. If you won't eat at least take the water. And the fridge is stocked."
Melinda waited another minute before leaving the bus, rubbing her eyes as she went. Phil wasn't wrong, she needed sleep and a meal but Skye needed her more. She stopped in the base's kitchen for a strong cup of coffee and a bagel and went back into Phil's office so she could resume her watch on Skye.
"Look," Phil whispered from his place on the armchair. Melinda whipped around much slower than she would normally, her exhaustion taking it's toll, and when her eyes found the screen she smiled. Skye was curled on her cot again but the food tray was on the table and one of the tiny sandwich squares had a bite taken out of it.
It wasn't much but Melinda would take it.
"Come here," Phil whispered, pulling her into his lap. She tried to protest but he ran a hand through her hair and shook his head. "You can watch her just fine from here. And I'll be awake so if you want to close your eyes for a few minutes…"
"Phil."
"I promise if she moves or does anything I will wake you."
Melinda resisted the urge to roll her eyes and kicked off her shoes instead. She tucked her feet into the space between the chair and the cushion and sipped her coffee while watching Skye on the surveillance feed.
She had no intention of sleeping but between being off her feet and Phil's fingers drawing lazy circles on her back she closed her eyes. She jolted up what felt like seconds later but she felt more rested.
"How long was I out?"
"Maybe an hour," Phil whispered, now playing with the ends of her hair.
Melinda relaxed, seeing that Skye was now asleep.
"You should go to bed, I'm fine now." An hour was more than enough to recharge her, for this at least.
"Only if you come with me."
This time she did roll her eyes.
"Keep being suave as hell, Phil," she muttered, reaching for her now cold coffee.
He buried his face in her neck to stifle a yawn and wrapped his arms around her middle. "There are these things called tablets, we can just put the feed on there, set it on the nightstand, and get a few hours of sleep, Melinda."
She reached back to pat his cheek. "You go to bed, Phil, I mean it; I'm fine."
"We don't have to sle-"
"Phil," she warned.
He sighed and trailed a hand over her arm. "I know why you're worried, Melinda, but she won't…not our girl."
Her entire body went cold and she kept her gaze planted firmly on the screen. "You weren't there, Phil. What if it hadn't been an Icer? She could have…I'm not taking the risk."
"Lin…" he pressed a kiss to the top of her head with a sigh. "Fitz can watch her. She's asleep. When she wakes, he can come get you. Nothing is going to happen to her on our watch, Lin. I promise you. I will die before I let that happen. She's been through enough."
"So has Fitz, it's the middle of the night, Phil, I'm not waking him."
He sighed and kissed her cheek. "Fine, then I'm making you a sandwich; you need to eat something too."
"Fine," she muttered, letting him go. She sunk back into the chair and tapped her foot, feeling restless. She was sick of sitting here, doing nothing.
An idea sparked in her and without giving herself a chance to talk herself out of this, she jumped up and rushed out of the room.
"Lin, what are you-"
She ignored him and scanned her lanyard, entering the garage. She ran onto the ramp and up the stairs, stopping at the door to the cage. She pressed her palm against it, momentarily second guessing herself, but ultimately deciding this is what Skye needed.
Melinda opened the door and took five quick strides to Skye's bedside. She knelt down, listened for the sound of her breathing, and sighed in relief. She'd needed the reassurance. Melinda reached over and stroked Skye's cheek. She was cold, poor thing.
She pulled the blankets Skye had brought with her up and cocooned her into them. If her baby girl was going to insist on staying her she wanted her to be as comfortable as possible. Melinda wasn't sure how long she sat there on the floor, running her fingers through Skye's hair, but Skye eventually began to whimper in her sleep, crying from whatever dream plagued her.
"Hey, shh," Melinda whispered, moving onto the bed. She wrapped her arms around Skye and a moment later Skye nestled her head into Melinda's lap, wrapping her arms around her middle.
"My fault," she whispered, tears on her cheeks.
"No, baby, none of this is your fault."
Skye opened her eyes and the look on her face broke Melinda's heart.
"I'm a monster-"
"No," Melinda insisted, drawing her into a hug.
Skye sobbed against her shoulder and climbed into her lap. Melinda held her tightly, like a small child, and rocked her gently, humming. Melinda ran her fingers through Skye's hair, encouraging her to get it out. Someone like Skye couldn't bottle things in or she'd explode. She wasn't hard like Melinda, she wasn't as broken, and Melinda wanted to keep her that way.
"We're going to get through this, Skye. We'll get you help, you'll learn to control this, and things will be better."
"They're all afraid of me," she whispered through her tears.
"That's their problem, not yours. You're still my Skye, you're just a little different now and that's okay. They'll have to get used to it."
Skye hugged her tighter and Melinda felt fresh tears on her neck. "You should have let them kill me."
Melinda froze and pulled away so she could take Skye's face in her hands and meet her eyes. "Never. Say. That. Again.
You're beautiful and smart and kind, just like Coulson. You see the good in people and always do what you believe to be right. Just because this happened to you doesn't change that, Skye. You're still you. You're not dangerous. You just have to accept this is a part of you now and learn to control it. Once they see you're not a threat they will have nothing to fear."
"But-"
"But nothing. Coulson and I will always have your back. Fitz will do anything to keep you safe. Even Bobbi protected you. She may be scared and confused but she's on your side. That's more than half this team, Skye. The others will come around, they just need time. And if they don't, then we'll replace them."
"May-"
"No, I mean it. Coulson said Trip was everything S.H.I.E.L.D. stands for? Well, so are you. You belong here and anyone who can't handle that can leave."
Skye wrapped her arms around Melinda and began sobbing into her shoulder again.
"We're going to get through this, together," she promised, stroking her hair again. She felt Phil watching them but she didn't acknowledge him. Skye was her number one priority.
Skye would get through this. She would heal and go on to live a happy life. Melinda would make sure of it.