SLIGHT TRIGGER WARNING

I don't know if this quite calls for a trigger warning, but just in case here it is. At the end of this chapter there is a conversation about implied rape. Although it isn't an in depth conversation, it may offend or be triggering for certain people. Just a warning! x

"Are you okay, Ana?"

Mia's voice sounds distant as I stare at my underwear in utter disbelief and horror. I knew that some spotting was a normal occurance when you are pregnant, but this is much more than a little spotting.

"Ana?"

Who do I ask for help? Christian? No, Grace. She's a doctor.

"Um, Mia, can you get your mom for me?"

"Yeah of course … Is everything okay?"

"I'm fine, Mia, please can you just get Grace?"

I can hear Mia leave and then I hear the bathroom door open.

"Grace?"

"No, it's me, is everything alright?" I frown as I hear Christian's voice and tears pool in my eyes. It's not just my little blip, its our little blip.

"Ana, are you okay? Talk to me." Christian's voice is stern yet concerned.

"D-did Mia go to get your mother?"

As if on cue I hear the bathroom door open again.

"Ana, honey, what do you need? Christian, wait outside." It is Grace.

"I'm not leaving until I know what's going on."

"Christian, I said go." Grace's voice takes on a more demanding tone and I can hear the door open as Christian leaves, growling something under his breath.

"It's just me and you now, Ana. What is wrong? Mia looked very concerned."

I shuffle my wet underwear back on because I don't know what else to do with them and slowly open the bathroom stall door. Grace seems to understand as she sees the tears that have escaped my eyes. I am embarrassed at my state and I hope she doesn't ask to see anything.

"Grace, I'm bleeding a lot…"

Grace pulls me into a sympathetic hug and I instantly know that there is nothing that she can do. I weep into her shoulder at the loss of my unborn child.

My blip. My Christian Jr. Never even got to see the world.

"Are you okay if I leave to go and get you some clean clothes, Ana? I won't be long."

I rub my nose on the back of my hand, feeling like a trainwreck as I nod. All I want now is the comfort of my husband.

"That's fine. Can you let Christian in here, please?"

"Of course, dear."

As Grace leaves me alone I try to collect myself but ultimately fail. Pull yourself together, Ana. It wasn't even a planned pregnancy. A few moments later Christian is inside, pulling me into his arms.

"Oh Ana, I'm so sorry. My mother told me."

I try to formulate a response but all that come are more tears. Loud, messy tears, and they won't stop. Christian holds me like a wounded animal, caressing my hair to try and calm me down.

When I finally look up at Christian I can see the remorse in his eyes, and I know he didn't want this to happen either.

"They can't be sure until they do another ultrasound…"

"I don't want another ultrasound." My voice is weak and unlike myself.

"Ana…"

Grace re-enters the room carrying a bag full of clothes. I re-enter the bathroom stall and open the bag. Grace has given me a pair of sweatpants, a t-shirt, a fresh pair of underwear, and an overnight maxi pad. I shuffle my dress off and change into the new clothing, slowly starting to feel a bit better. I stuff my dress back into the bag and simply throw my underwear into the trash bin, covered in a few layers of toilet paper.

As I exit the bathroom stall I find myself in Christian's strong arms again. He places a soft kiss on my forehead and I try to think of why this happened to us. Sure, we weren't completely ready for this, but what parent's truly are?

"I have Taylor waiting for us at the front." Christian shuffles off his suit jacket and places it over my shoulders. "It's chilly out there."

I feel numb as I sit in the back of the SUV. Christian has tried everything to try and bring me back to reality but I can't bring myself to accept the fact that our little blip is gone. Christian had called Dr. Green as soon as we got in the car and had an emergency appointment booked for us. It didn't tell us more than what I already knew – my pregnancy had been lost. Now, on our way back to Escala, I just feel cold. Christian sits with an arm wrapped around me. He looks more broken than I thought he would, and I realize that even though he didn't admit to it in so many words, he was warming up to the idea of being a father.

"I'm sorry, Christian" I finally speak up, not being able to look at my husband. Christian Shifts and moves his hand to my chin, carefully averting my gaze up to him.

"Don't you dare apologize, Anastasia. This isn't anyone's fault." His words cause unwelcome tears to spring back to my eyes, and I finally surrender to Christian's attempts, curling into his embrace as he tells me that everything will be okay.

When I wake up it is still dark outside, and Christian is nowhere to be found. I hear the piano from the living room, but I can't bring myself to go and listen to his sad song. I need a shower.

As I sit up I feel the dull ache in my stomach and frown. I walk into the bathroom and open the medicine cabinet. Now that I'm not pregnant these can't hurt. I take three ibuprofen without water.

I discard my clothes and am somewhat relieved to find that my post-miscarriage flow has slowed down. As I step into the hot shower I feel relieved, and I imagine myself washing off my negative thoughts. Although I still have a heavy heart, I leave the bathroom in a much lighter mood.

I change into a silk nightgown and matching robe, slowly making my way downstairs towards the sound of the sad piano song.

I find Christian the way I knew I would, only wearing his sweatpants as he sits on the piano bench. I slowly make my way over and sit beside him, and for once, he doesn't stop playing when I make my presence known. He looks deep in thought as he presses the keys, as if he doesn't even notice me. Suddenly he slams his fists down on the keys, making a horrendous noise, startling me. It's only then that I see his face.

Christian is crying.

Woah.

I slowly move my hand up to trace his beautiful face, and he flinches with my touch, but seems to relax when he locks eye contact with me. His Grey eyes look broken. I had no idea this would affect him so much.

"Ana…"

"Christian… I'm here, don't cry."

I wrap my arms around Christian's body and he completely submits to me, becoming smaller than he actually is as he rests his head on my chest. I stroke his hair, and we sit just like this for what feels like hours.

"Ana, I'm sorry I yelled at you when you found out you were pregnant. I'm sorry I left you that night."

With his words I recall him yelling at me and telling me I was stupid for forgetting my shot, and then leaving me alone while he drank with Mrs. Robinson … Elena.

"Christian, I've already forgiven you for that."

"I know, but I'm still sorry."

I frown and kiss the top of Christian's head.

"And I still forgive you."

With my words Christian falls silent and I simply hold him, methodically rocking us back and forth. After a few minutes I finally speak up again.

"Come on, let's go back to bed."

I keep my arm wrapped around Christian as we walk back to our bedroom. As we both crawl in bed I pull the soft duvet over us as Christian rests his head on my chest. We both lay awake for a few moments.

"Ana?"

"Yes?"

"Can we try to have another baby?"

I quickly sit up and stare at Christian in the dark. He wants to try for a baby? My inner goddess is jumping up and down at the idea of making another baby with Christian, but my subconscious is unsure.

"I thought you said you weren't ready?"

"I wasn't ready." Christian sits up as well and moves his hand to the side of my neck. "But jesus, Ana, when I found out you miscarried…" He trails off as I stare at him, shocked.

"I don't know, Christian. A baby is…"

Christian cuts me off.

"Think about it. Please, Ana, think about it."

Oh god, this is going to be just like his proposal.

"I'll think about it."

The next two weeks drag on and as the weekend approaches I get more and more excited about my trip with Kate, and by Thursday I am on my toes, waiting for Saturday morning. Having no appointments today I can finally get to work on reading some more manuscripts – work I actually enjoy. A few hours into the day I get an email from Christian.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Missing you

Date: October 10, 2011 11:26

To: Anastasia Grey

Just wanted to say I missed you.

Ps. Have you thought at all about a baby?

Hoping-to-be-father Christian Grey, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

I shake my head as I read his email, but a smile tugs at the corners of my lips.

From: Anastasia Grey

Subject: Didn't you say…

Date: October 10, 2011 11:29

To: Christian Grey

… That these kinds of issues shouldn't be talked about over email?

I miss you too. Give me time.

Anastasia Grey, Commissioning Editor SIP

I hear another email come in but I ignore it in favour of my work, deciding I will respond on my lunch break.

A few moments later there is a knock on my office door and Hannah opens it.

"Mrs. Grey… Um, Ana, there is someone here to see you."

I furrow my eyebrows. I wasn't supposed to have any appointments.

"Who is it?"

"It's a girl. Brunette. She says her name is Amy."

I become more puzzled.

"She says that she sent you a letter telling you she would be coming."

Oh shit. I completely forgot about the unaddressed letter I received on my first day back to work.

I will be there soon to help you.

I nod at Hannah as I nervously play with the pen in my hands.

"Bring her in, Hannah."

She closes the door as she leaves and I wait, wondering who it could be. Something tells me it's not a want-to-be author.

A few minutes later the door opens again and a beautiful brunette enters the room. Her eyes are a bright green surrounded by charcoal eyeliner. Her lips are painted a dark red and her hair is in a single braid that falls down her back. I say nothing.

"He was the inspiration for it." She plays with her hair as she looks at me and I swallow as she shuts the door.

"You look nervous. I'm not here to hurt you."

Her slim figure sits down on the chair and she crosses her legs. She is wearing a tight fitting blouse and dress pants.

"Amy, was it?" My voice wavers and I try to look calm. I already know who she is. She tilts her head with a nasty smile.

"Right, Mrs. Grey."

"And let me guess, you're one of Christian's…?"

"One of the first." As she smiles I can see her makeup crease around her eyes. She's older than him.

"And why are you here?" I ask, impatient. Why do they always show up at my work? I recall Leela in my meeting room and inwardly cringe.

"I already told you. Didn't you get my letter?"

"Why do you assume I need help?" I ask and she snorts, rolling her eyes as she looks away, disgusted.

"You married the fucker. I thought before kids got involved I would warn you about some things."

I already know what she is going to tell me, but I still tap my fingers against my desk nervously.

"I know what I'm getting into."

"Do you now?" Her blood red lips tilt up in amusement. "When you first met Mr. Grey, you read the contract?"

I now get uncomfortable. I don't like thinking about my Christian engaging in kinky fuckery with other women. Especially beautiful older women.

"Yes I have, but I don't see how that is any of your business."

She nods and leans back in her chair.

"When you first read it, was there anything you found odd? That you thought shouldn't need to be on there? Say…the part about loaning the submissive to other dominants?"

My mouth goes dry as I look at her.

"What are you saying?"

She gives me medusa's look and I feel as if I have been turned to stone.

"I didn't have a contract. Those rules were inspired by problems he had with me."

Jesus Christ.

AUTHORS NOTE BEFORE YOU ALL FREAK OUT ON ME FOR THAT ENDING:

Okay, so while I was writing the end of this chapter I realized a lot of you may get upset with how this new sub is making Christian seem like an terrible human being. I want to remind you that this IS NOT THE END OF THE STORY. If it really bugs you you can PM me and I will explain to you what happens (but that would be a spoiler so do it at your own risk). I love Christian as much as all of you, trust me, this is not the end of this discussion about the new sub and what happened with that particular part of the contract.

xx

Emily

PS. Sorry about how slow my updates are. Exams are killing me!