Miki took a deep breath, watching himself in the rose-crested mirror.

"Am I really doing this?" he asked himself, but he already knew the answer. This was who he was. The slender staff, tied to his torso with his military cords, led down to a shiny, sharp metal plate in the shape of a half moon at his feet. It was perfect. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be."

He greeted the Student Council in the elevator with a nod, feeling confidence rush through him like water through a watering can. He would show them his excellence. Juri was the only one who seemed perturbed. Saionji and Touga didn't even look at him twice. Maybe they were just like him, Miki thought hopefully.

When they reached the Student Council room, Miki was the first to walk out of the elevator. The room had been transformed into yet another massive rose garden, as if the 69 that were planted all around the school was not enough. Miki was in his element. He took the meeting minutes as Touga pontificated on the importance of fertilizer, and moved the dirt around as Juri and Saionji squabbled over different varietals of roses. He felt truly alive, and, in that moment, knew what his shining thing was. He stared down adoringly at the gleaming metal blade he'd so lovingly attached to himself. But to truly grow, there was one thing left he must do.

"What is it, Miki?" Touga asked with a rakish smile. "You look like your head is all up in the clouds."

"Yeah Miki, come back to Earth," Juri urged.

"I have to see Kozue. She has to understand."

"Of course." Saionji rolled his eyes. But Miki wasn't listening. He was already in the elevator, heading to the piano room. He threw open the door to see Anthy kissing Kozue.

"Oh dear!"Anthy cried, falling off of Kozue's lap in surprise. For once, Miki didn't care about Anthy Himemiya. He just wanted to see his twin.

"Miki?" Kozue addressed him, utterly confused. Miki was the last person she thought would be into gardening tools. The last person she thought would be a... a...

"What is it, Kozue?"

"You're a hoe."

Tune in next week for a new episode of Extreme Rose Gardening.

April Fools! :D

I hope y'all enjoyed this little shitpost bonus! Tomorrow, as voted, the ANGSTY chapter will be posted, as well as the new edit of the first chapter! Look out for new scenes and tidbits as we celebrate Shoujo Kakumei Utena's 20th!