Octavian theory much? I came up with it in spanish and almost cried.

Let me tell you a secret. Shhh... Don't tell anyone. It would only make them hate me more. I am the Hated Augur. My soul in eternal punishment trembles telling you this because honest it hurts, it really hurts. I was not just driven insane by power and madness. I was bitter and hated and knew that. When my robes were tangled in the onager I saw that. No one loved the Augur. No one wanted a world where Octavian survived. Why be alive when no one wanted you to? Why try to get better when you're so far gone you can taste the fires of tartarus where you know you belong you KNOW. I could have untangled my robes and decided not to fire the onager because I knew I would not survive. But maybe I was okay with that. Maybe I didn't hear a word Hades' son said because I was envisioning being in Hades myself, getting what I deserved. I was so Angry. No friends in Rome no chance with the Greeks because maybe I hated them because they were happy and I couldn't be.

My last words. I can't remember them. But not goodbye. I didn't say goodbye. Even though I knew I was about to pull the trigger and that would be goodbye. That would be the last the world would see of Octavian. Goodbye to the world that hated the augur. Who would miss me?

My point? I'll be brief. Don't be like me. The hate bottled up inside don't let it drive you to this. It feels good for a second but once you're gone you know more than you knew. Every vile soul, every piece of human scum. Even they get a chance at elysium if they try. So don't give up without trying. No one wants to be like the Augur, so don't.

Don't take your own life! Don't do ittttt don't!