For my internet uncle, Jean Francis EggsPoint Tasha Point Dusable Jon, because I felt like it. YOU BETTER LIKE IT, BECAUSE I'M USING TIME TO WRITE MY STORIES TO WRITE THIS ONE-SHOT. D:(

...

I totally did not just copy and paste your nickname. Yeah! I remembered it by heart and stuff! :P

In NicknameClan, everyone had a nickname.

"HAI GRAY-GRAY-HONEY!" Hailstar (AKA 'King George the Third*') screamed across camp (AKA 'Home for blood-thirsty cats').

"HAI KING GEORGE THE THIRD!" Graypelt (AKA 'Gray-Gray-Honey') screeched back. Her kits, Angelkit (AKA 'The Mary-Sue'), Cloverkit (AKA 'Plant'), and Darknesskit (AKA 'We all know he's the antagonist') played mossball (AKA 'plant squished up to form a ball shape').

Well, everyone except Barktail had a nickname. He wished dearly to have nickname, like everyone else.

Sadly, he stayed simply Barktail.

I just want a nickname, any nickname! he thought.

"BARKY-POO!" Well, except for that one. Rivercreek (AKA 'Redundant name') tackled him and they rolled down a giant hill (AKA 'The death of us all') that conveniently appeared for the author to have something to write about.

"Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!" Barktail said on the way down. Why he said that? Because he wanted a nickname, so his logic was that if he repeated a word over and over again, it would eventually stick.

"I should call you 'Ouch', since you say it so much!" Rivercreek said cheerfully.

Score!

The next day, he was tackled once again by 'Redundant name.'

"BARKY-POO!" she squealed.

Whatever happened to the nickname 'Ouch?' They rolled down a conveniently placed ravine. (AKA 'We ran out of ideas')

"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!" Barktail said. Why did he say that? See the reason above.

"You say 'Ow' so much!" Rivercreek giggled. "I should call you that!"

Mission Accomplished!

'Redundant name' tackled him once again. They fell down a cliff (AKA 'You're screwed') that just happened to be there.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Barktail yelled. Why did he say that? Because he was scared, of course.

They hit the bottom and magically didn't hurt themselves for the author's convenience.

Meanwhile, Darknesskit was jealous of Cloverkit. Why did Cloverkit get to be 'Plant!' He loved plants, he deserved to be called 'Plant!'

Darknesskit wanted his part longer than two lines, but he's not very important, so...

Barktail tried to remember why he didn't have a nickname. Oh, right:

"Bark-kit, I give you the new nickname of," 'King George the Third' paused for dramatic effect.

Then, he saw a butterfly. (AKA 'fluttery thing')

"Ooh, butterfly!" he squealed, forgetting about his leader duties.

The rest of the Clan went butterfly catching for the rest of the day, leaving the kit by himself.

Hm, what an irresponsible Clan.

Barktail decided to take matters into his own hands.

One day, he leaped onto Rock. (AKA 'Big thing "King George the Third" sat on')

"Attention!" he yowled. "Everyone must now call me 'Fang!'"

"Okay!" everyone said. They didn't seem bothered that he was sitting on 'Big thing "King George the Third" sat on'.

"Hi Barktail!"

Sigh. His plan had failed.

"Why don't I have a nickname?" he asked 'Redundant name.'

"Because no one cares enough to give you one!" she responded.

Ouch.

That wasn't what he was expecting.

"Goodbye, cruel Clan!" Barktail said a moon later. He had packed his bags, and was about to move to NamelessClan.**

"Bye Barktail!" the Clan said.

He moved to NamelessClan.

No one had a name there. Go figure.

Later, everyone in NamelessClan started to call him 'Outsider person,' because he liked parmesan cheese, not mozzarella cheese.

"Hey, 'Outsider person!' You're banished because you have a name!" the leader said.

Barktail didn't get it.

The NamelessClan cats had given him his name.

What.

Nevertheless, he moved to NonexistentClan, and ceased to exist any longer.

Except he was banished because someone wrote a story about him.

By the time the story was over, he was banned from ninety-six Clans, and the Tribe of Awesome Names.

And then Barktail remembered that this whole story happened just so he could get a nickname.

And that he never succeeded at that.

Oh, well.

No one cares much.

Right?

*Don't even ask where I got that nickname.

**Yeah, I just named a Clan after my alter-ego.

Nameless: I feel special.

That felt rushed. Meh, I'll edit later.

*facedesk* That ending is so...lame...

I'll rewrite it...someday...

XD

Well, see all you viewers and reviewers later!

~Dreams XD