A BIG thanks to SweetKiwi for her help with this. You're the reason I write Merle my dear and this one is ALL for you. I owed you one so here you go. I hope you enjoy it! ;)

...

One year ago...

"Yeah?"

She couldn't do it. The phone was in her hand and she could hear his voice, but she couldn't form the words. All she could see was the blood...a dark muddy red that was spreading like lava across the faded tiled kitchen floor. Her hands trembled and she suppressed a shiver.

She might be sick.

She felt like she should be sick, but her stomach actually felt fine. Shouldn't she feel something other than the numbness and disbelief that gripped her with its potent raw intensity? It grasped at her body, clawing at her skin, but she swallowed hard, fighting it...fighting this. It was over.

She sucked in a deep breath.

"Cat?"

She stared at the phone as she blinked back to realization and to the fact that she was still holding it clutched between her fingers like a lifeline to sanity. He was there. He would help her...all she needed to do was ask and he would come. Just like always.

Except this wasn't like all the other times she had asked for his help. This wasn't her needing a tire changed, a ride to the store, or a stiff drink to numb the pain of a husband who liked to talk with his fists...this was a whole other ballgame. And this time she had struck out and she was running to home base, but instead of stopping she just kept right on going. What the hell was she thinking?

"Goddamn it, answer me! I can hear you breathin'!"

And she opened her mouth to speak, but the words died a silent death on her tongue. The numbness had her paralyzed...torn between a deep-sated relief and a fear that it might all be a dream. She hardly noticed as her feet began to slide, her back riding the wall straight down to the floor where she sunk like a bag of cement.

"Fuck! It's him, ain't it? I'm gonna kill that sum' bitch. Sit tight."

The tone of his voice brooked no argument, not that she was going to give him any. The sudden dial tone echoed in her ear, but she still hadn't moved. She was transfixed by the sight of the blood that was now making its way slowly toward her. He would be there soon she knew and then he would help her.

He had to help her...because at the moment she couldn't even help herself.

...

"Cat!"

She jerked to with a start as his voice boomed throughout the tiny house. He was the only one that ever called her Cat. He told her once that the reason was because Catherine sounded like some rigid snob with a stick up her ass. She remembered laughing at his expression when he said it and the way his face twisted into a grimace. She always teased him that it wasn't fair because she couldn't give him one in return. There weren't really any ways to shorten Merle.

"Fuck me," he hissed.

Strong and calloused fingers tightened around her arm, lifting her easily from the floor. She was transported from the kitchen into the living room where he sat her down on the slightly tattered couch. He knelt in front of her and his scent easily brought everything back into focus. She sucked in a much needed breath.

"What the fuck happened?" His voice was lighter, his tone more gentle than she had ever heard it in the five years that she'd known him.

As he waited for her to talk he began to methodically clean her feet which she then realized were coated with blood. She fought back the urge to cringe. He seemed to understand that she needed a minute to gather herself so he busied himself with checking her, his hands coasting up and down her legs for starters. Even in the present state that she was in, her body went hot at the feel of his hands on her. It was no secret that she had feelings for this man, but they had never crossed the boundaries of friendship. Not that it hadn't crossed her mind at all...

She sucked in a sharp breath when his fingers ghosted over her ribs and pain immediately followed in their wake. Piercing blue eyes lifted to meet her chocolate brown and she finally cracked.

"I killed him, Merle. Oh God...he was beating me..." She struggled to draw in steady breaths as she felt herself on the verge of hyperventilating. "...he was going to kill me this time. Said I was used up...not good for anythin' anymore. Said I couldn't even...couldn't even make him hard." She heaved in a gulp of air, remembering the volatile look upon Luke's face.

Merle hadn't said a thing the entire time, but the expression upon his face spoke volumes. The spot just next to his jaw was ticking, a clear warning to all who knew him to back away as fast as possible. If you were smart, you heeded that warning, but if not...well you suffered the consequences.

Her?

She dove headfirst into his arms without hesitation. If there was one thing she was absolutely certain of it was that Merle Dixon would never lay a hand on her in anger. She had seen him at his angriest and at his most calm, but it mattered not. He was the one man who she wasn't afraid of...the one man who made her blood heat like no other man ever had and he didn't even know it.

"Where's the gun, Darlin'?" His gruff voice rumbled next to her ear as she buried her face into his neck to smell the clean scent of his aftershave.

"I threw it on the floor," she whispered.

"Christ."

"I'm so-sorry."

For just a moment he pressed his cheek against her head and held her. It wasn't long...Merle wasn't the type to show much affection, but it was there and she recognized it for what it was. He was giving her strength and telling her that everything was going to be alright. And then he let her go and pushed himself to his feet.

"Put on some shoes an' get out of here."

She stared at him, unsure whether she had heard him correctly. "What?" Was he really asking her to leave?

"I'll take care of this. Go to a friend's house an' pay them a visit. Don't come back 'til it's safe."

"What? I don't understand. Merle? How will I know it's safe? What are you going to do?" Her voice was borderline frantic.

He glanced towards the kitchen. "No need to worry 'bout none of that now. Go."

No, this didn't feel right. Why was he so insistent that she leave? This was her mess...it was her responsibility to clean it up. Now that he was here...she could draw strength from him and she could do this. She really could.

"If you would just let me-"

"No." His voice was firm, his tone indicating that he would not be swayed. "Go. I'll see ya soon."

So she did the only thing she knew to do. She left.

...

Present Day.

"I'll see ya soon."

The shrill ringing of my cell phone jarred me from my slumber, his rough voice echoing throughout the recesses of my dreams. I wiped my long sweaty brown locks from my face with a sigh. The dream was always the same.

I relived that horrible nightmare that happened exactly one year ago night after night without reprieve. Every time Merle would say that he would see me soon, but I never did. He was locked up that night, pinned for a crime that he didn't commit...pinned for something that shouldn't have been more than self-defense according to the top notch attorney I had hired to oversee Merle's case.

It took everything I had week after week to pay him, but I deducted the payments from my paycheck like clockwork. I had been assured that he was the best and that was what I wanted. I would expect nothing less for the man who had risked everything to save my life that night. I worked myself like a dog doing two jobs just to make ends meet, but it still wasn't enough. I had other expenses that needed attending to like eating...and a car to take me back and forth to those jobs.

My cell phone blasted loudly again and I fumbled for it, blindly swiping at the screen to answer. "Hello?"

"Catherine?"

"Mr. Kilburn?"

He sighed, "How many times have I told you to call me Jackson, Catherine? Mr. Kilburn reminds me of my father and he's been gone a long time."

"Right," I mumbled. "Sorry. Is everything okay?" It was rather odd to be receiving a call from Merle's attorney so early in the day. Mentally I calculated the date and tried to remember if I had forgotten to send payment.

"I've got some good news for you."

That got my attention and I pushed myself to a sitting position in the bed. "You do?" It had been so long since I had heard good news. I was desperate for anything good these days, especially since so much of everything was going to shit.

"Merle's being released."

I dropped the phone into the mountainous muddle of blankets and pillows in my shock. I made a desperate fish for it and lifted it just in time to hear Jackson still speaking.

"...apparently dirty cops. There's an ongoing investigation into the squad, but that's all I'm able to tell you about it. The main thing is that Merle Dixon has been cleared of all charges and the incident was ruled as self defense."

Never had any words sounded so sweet to my ears. "When?" I breathed.

"Anytime now. Depending on how fast they're moving it could be in the next hour or in the next three," Jackson explained.

"Oh my God," I mumbled.

My heart was beating frantically. I had so much work to do. Merle was coming home. Home.

Shit.

I muttered a quick thank you and goodbye to Mr. Kilburn and hung up the phone, staring at the room around me, more specifically - Merle's room.

Six months into his sentence I received an eviction notice taped to the door of the apartment I had rented for myself after Luke. Not knowing what else to do I had used the key that I had to Merle's place and let myself in. I had only intended to stay there one night and keep an eye on the place...keep it clean. It wasn't like Merle had ever minded me dropping by before, hell he had given me the key himself. But I knew it wasn't the same. Only I didn't know what else to do because all of my money was going into the attorney and one night quickly turned into two and before I knew it I had been there a whole month.

But none of that mattered because Merle was coming home. I hadn't seen him in a year and quite honestly I wasn't sure what to expect. I had visited the jail every two weeks on visitation day, but every time I was turned away because Merle had refused to see me. I spent the first few weeks waiting on him to call and explain or write me a letter, anything, telling me why he wouldn't see me, but I got nothing. And I couldn't blame him because it was all my fault that he was in there to begin with.

I should have never left that day.

...

I waited for Merle at his place instead of going to the jail to pick him up. I wasn't sure if he would ride with me or not, but at least he wouldn't be able to ignore me in his own house...I hoped.

It was exactly one hour and forty-five minutes later that I heard the cab pull into the driveway and I watched from the kitchen window as Merle Dixon himself stepped out. He paid the driver and then just stood there staring at the house as the cab pulled away. His plain white t-shirt and khaki pants melded to his body like they were made for him, the thin white cotton nearly see-through.

I held my breath as he made his way up the gravel driveway past my car to the front door. It seemed like hours passed before he finally opened the door and stepped over the threshold, his large form filling up the space...owning it in only the way that he could. He stared at me, those same piercing baby blues holding me captive as I stood barefoot in his freshly cleaned kitchen.

His eyes did a thorough sweep of my body and then the room, taking note of subtle changes I had made in my efforts to spruce the place up a little. I felt self conscious although I didn't know why. This was Merle and I had never been that way with him before.

"Hey," I said weakly. It was a lame offering, but it was all I had at the moment. He crooked his head, regarding me for several moments before he casually strolled in my direction, stopping with barely an arm's length between us.

"Man's been in prison for a year an' that's all you got for me, Darlin'?"

Lord, how I had missed that voice. Up close like this I could study him in detail and I drank him in like a cold beer on a hot summer's day. Prison hadn't weakened him at all, as evidenced by the bulk of muscle that protruded from the sleeves of his t-shirt. It told me that he had spent most of his days working out and it showed. It made me want to rip off his shirt and run my hands over his broad chest just to feel the defined pecs.

I licked my lips and his eyes narrowed in on the movement, making my heartbeat quicken by the hungry gaze upon his face. I shifted from foot to foot, trying to decide the best course of action.

"No...no, that's not all I got," I whispered.

I closed the distance between us and he must have read my thoughts because his hard body slammed against mine then, pinning me to the counter as our lips collided. It was hot, heavy, and everything that I needed.

It was Merle.

He slid his tongue inside of my mouth, seeking out every part of me, finally tasting me. I surrendered to his caresses, wrapping my arms around his neck so that my breasts pressed up against him. A low growl rumbled through his chest and quick as lightning he lifted me onto the counter, my favorite skirt riding up my hips. He kept his body close, shouldering between my thighs and inadvertently holding my legs open.

I wanted him badly and his actions told me that he wanted me as well. Whatever he wanted, I would give him openly and without hesitation. I trusted him to take care of me.

Tearing his lips free of my own, he nibbled down my neck briefly, large hands sliding under the fabric of my tank top. He tugged the cups of my bra down and ran his thumbs over my freed nipples. I moaned out loud, my hands smoothing over his nearly shaved head. He lifted the tank and I sucked in a breath as he took one of my nipples into his mouth, sucking the pert tip with such voracity that I felt the resounding sparks low in my belly.

"I want you," he ground out, his mouth hot on my skin. "I'm gonna take you against this counter just like I been dreamin' of the last year."

"You wouldn't see me." The words were torn from my soul, the hurt still there even though it had been a while.

He nuzzled his face into my neck, bristly cheek scratching against my skin. "Couldn't let you see me like that...was messed up in my own head."

"I missed you."

"Show me," he challenged.

I grabbed the hem of my tank and lifted it over my head before reaching behind me to unhook my bra. My fingers drifted down to the zipper of my skirt, but he stopped me.

"Leave it."

I raised my brows in question, but said nothing as I gripped his t-shirt instead. He lifted his arms and I pulled it free of his head, my eyes feasting on the sight before me. Defined pecs melded into hard muscle that was littered with a light smattering of hair that ventured below the waist of his jeans. He had a scar that decorated his left shoulder, but it didn't matter because in my eyes he was perfect.

Before I could voice my opinion his hand traveled between my thighs and slipped beneath the lace of my panties. He curved his finger and traced the length of me with his knuckle until I cried out, clinging to him. He worked first one finger inside of me, teasing and stroking me, and then he added another until he was three fingers deep and I was on the edge.

"Merle. Please."

He used his one free hand to unzip his jeans and free himself, his hard and thick cock already leaking in anticipation. Without hesitation he removed his fingers and grabbed my ass, tugging me forward until I was on the verge of tumbling off the counter. He gave me no time to gather my bearings as he thrust inside of me swiftly, filling me like no one ever had before. I gasped at the feeling, my legs curving around him the best they could.

I glanced up at his face to find his eyes on me, dark and glittering with an emotion that I had never seen before. Over and over he thrust into me, never breaking eye contact for even a minute. I was held captive by some invisible force that tethered us together, holding me spellbound. That was all it took for me to fall over the edge and I yelled out as I came apart around him, my legs gripping him tighter than ever. My orgasm seemed to spur him on and he pounded into me roughly, his jaw growing tighter as his release grew near.

I ran my hands over his chest and raked my nails across his stomach as I bit down on my lip. His mouth fell open just a bit as he stiffened and spilled himself inside of me. He slammed one hand against the kitchen cabinet by my head as he threw his head back, roaring his pleasure. I rained small kisses across his chin and neck as he slowly came down from his high, his breathing kicked up a notch.

"Sorry I took over your house." I spewed the first thing that came to mind, surprising even him as he raised his brows at me.

A smile teased the corners of his mouth as he regarded me. "Reckon' we can work some sorta payment arrangement out." He glanced pointedly at my nakedness and I had no choice but to laugh. "You look good here. Stay as long as ya like." His expression sobered, his eyes saying what his words didn't. I was safe here.

I twined my arms around his neck, savoring the feel of him still inside of me and growing hard once more. Burying my face into his neck I imagined that I could still smell the scent of his aftershave - my favorite, and I smiled.

"Welcome home, Merle."

...