When she'd been nine years old, Shalini's magical abilities had manifested.

In a fit of anger and fear, she's taken deep to the woods, after accidentally having set fire to one of their aravels.

Hidden by the shadows and the trees, she'd climbed up an old oak, ignoring the callings of her name and burrowing her face in her arms, shutting down the world around her.

On that day, Shalini had witnessed her first act of mistrust towards humans, as late at night, hidden among the branches and leaves, she'd seen two soldiers drag one of her clansisters by the hair behind them.

She'd trespassed, they said. This part of the forest was owned by a family, and part of their villa. They'd yanked her down on the ground, her throaty pleas echoing through the woods. One of their children were missing, she objected, holding up her hands as if to shield her face.

They didn't believe her, and then a hard kick knocked her down on her side, a painful grunt leaving her mouth. When a second kick made her leg crunch, it seemed as if something snapped inside Shalini and with a loud yell she screamed out, and as her sister slowly opened her tearfilled eyes, she could see that the two soldiers lied on the ground, their bodies frozen in sharp and uneven blocks of ice, their faces contorted like ghouls, mouths open in silent screams.

Shalini had climbed down the tree so quickly that her hands and knees bled from the bark, running to her clanmember, her eyes teary and her nose runny, yelling "Lethallan, Lethallan!"

Suffice to say, Shalini stayed good and obedient after that, never leaving her Keeper's side, her hands shaking and her body growing cold every time they stopped near a human settlement.

Her clansister's leg never quite healed after that.

oOo

An elf is the Herald of Andraste.

Shalini wants to laugh out loud.

She's not surprised that the Chantry is against this Inquisition, especially with her as their face.

She wants to help, she really does. But a chill slowly creeps up her spine as she walks through Haven, nothing but humans and the occasional dwarf and non Dalish.

Then she meets Minaeve, and they spend long hours talking about animals and nature, despite the researcher's bad blood with her former home.

Josephine is warm and friendly. She grows to like her quickly despite herself. Cassandra is hard, a pleading behind her iron stature, but sure and steady. When things feels unsure, she can turn to her for guidance. Leliana asks for things she cannot give. She does not speak for the Maker, she does not believe in the Maker. Cullen awakens a quiet burn and longing she didn't know she could feel for a human man, which makes her scared and cold, so she discards it and locks it away.

She's surrounded by humans that surprises her, makes her uneasy to be thrown into all this. This has nothing to do with her, she tells herself. She should just leave, but she knows she's doing the right thing, she could never abandon them. This threat affects everything, her clan would be no more safe far away from the Breach.

She knows this.

Yet the looks people throw her way makes the chill run deeper through her body. Makes her straighten up when she walks among them. Makes her hard. Makes her sharp.

oOo

Bull is not human.

Shalini thinks that the people around them throws him even dirtier looks than they do her and the elves.

She doesn't know enough of the Qun and their lives to really have an opinion, plus the Iron Bull is so unlike any qunari she has ever heard of that judgement is extremely hard to have.

Her attraction is immediate. It almost scares her how much he makes her nerves stand on end.

Indeed, he is neither elf nor human, and she finds herself dreaming about dragging her hands over his horns, his shoulders, his arms.

How would it feel, she wonders.

The few men she's been with were lean and soft, with wiry muscles and long bodies. Bull is everything she has never had, and never thought she wanted, and maybe the fact that he too, is a bit of an outcast here, makes the attraction all the more real.

oOo

"Kadan."

His voice settles like a heavy blanket over her dark room, dying as they reach Shalini's still form. He can call all he wants. She hides her face in the pillows.

"Kadan..." He says again, getting nearer the bed. The frames are cold and wet, splotches and bumps of ice covering the wood. "Kadan, look at me."

He sits down beside her. She feels a hand over her head but she remains unmoving as he starts to run his long fingers through her curls. Her body reacts like it always does, a pleasant shiver traveling over her scalp, yet her mind is cold and empty. Slowly she lets him turn her head to him, but it might as well be like turning a husk, like she's watching it all from the outside, hovering above them. He runs his thumbs over her cheeks and under her eyes, red and swollen from crying.

"My family is gone..." She says before she can think to stop herself. Her face is completely still as she says it, her eyes heavy and cloudy. Bull only nods, his hands still around her head.

"Yes." He says.

"My clan is gone."

"Yes."

Her lip starts to tremble at this, and slowly her face turns into a twisted grimace, her teeth biting down and her eyes only thin lines. No tears are coming. She must have cried so much no more will come, yet it still burns.

"I can't do this..." She says, her voice shaky and low. "I can't..."

"Yes, you can." His voice is clear but careful, a quiet reassurance. She shakes her head violently and grabs his hands to shove them away. He lets her.

"I chose wrong!" She hisses. "If I'd listened to Cullen...If I'd listened to him they'd still be alive now!"

"You don't know that, Kadan." He says, and she snarls at him and tries to push him aside, yet he stays his ground beside her.

"I made the wrong choice!" She screams. "I killed my family and the- and the world's fate is depending on me!" She shoves her small fists against his chest, again and again. "I'm going to get them killed too!"

He says nothing and simply lets her continue hitting him, and for a second Shalini wonders in her rage if he's unsure what to do. What they are...He has never had anything like this before, and suddenly she's struck by the fear that he's going to think it's too hard, it's too much effort. In an instant she stops hitting him, her hands trembling and her breathing shaky.

"Don't go..." She whispers, her eyes desperately searching for his. "Don't go, don't go..." When she sees him, the look he's giving her seems almost chocked. Then he cups her face again and pulls her closer, pressing their foreheads together.

"I won't."

oOo

"People are just people." Bull said one time when she argued about freedom and choice.

And the more she thinks about it, the more she believes it can be applied to more than just what one does.

As she stands here, the Inquisition at her back, and the ruins of Haven before her, a sort of calm accomplishment fills her.

She's the Inquisitor, the people behind her her home. A home she intends to go back to.

Vivienne lays a hand on her shoulder, Cole takes a gentle hold of her arm, and lastly Bull pulls her to him and lifts her up, kissing her passionately. He tastes like thunderstorms and rain, the kind she'd found him in the first time she'd laid eyes on him. With wild eyes and swollen lips, he puts her down again and grins.

"Let's go kick this son-of-a-bitch back into whatever black hole he crawled out of."

She gives him a confident nod, before she turns to look out over the ruins once more. The Breach releases a violent roar and her palm thrums.

She takes a deep breath.

She steps forward.