Word Count (Not Including AN): 1,133
Massive thank you to 0WolfMoon0, who went through and beta'd this story for me, she did a great job!
I used the prompts: "Memory" and "Beginning" and I had to write about our Seeker's favorite character: Lupin
I wrote this as my round one entry for Quidditch League! Dedicated to Galad, as she had me write a Lupin story :)
Remus looks up at the moon. It's not full yet. By tomorrow the sliver that's missing will begin to change and any semblance of sanity he has will fade out.
He doesn't have a potion ready.
He didn't mean to forget, but his world could not be more topsy turvy than it is now. He's going to be a father, and somehow with his condition he can't help but feel like he isn't fit for the job. Times are hard, and why would someone like him bring a child into the war, let alone take the chance of him being part werewolf. He's a right idiot.
Tonks tells him most days that their son will not end up like him. She comforts him with all her might, and tells him that more likely than not their son will end up like her; a metamorphmagus. Tonks is everything to him. Remus did not mean to make her an outcast in their fiercely racist world. He never wanted that for her.
Mocking him from above, the stars twinkle into view like they're winking at him. He cannot stop thinking about everyone else's well being, and for that small lapse , he neglected his own health.
He thinks about older times when he'd call Sirius. He could cope back then. Sirius wasn't a domestic type of man, and he wouldn't have known how to handle an uncanny situation like this. He would probably drag Remus' ass out to the pub, and he'd think he was helping, but no, Remus can't call his best friend anymore.
This is something he must face alone.
The next day, Tonks arrives home from her mother's house knowing full well that today is the full moon . She brings him a steaming cup of honey lemon tea and Honeydukes chocolate. He doesn't let her come in his room and denies the chocolate. He hates when she has to see him like this; old and ill. In the end though, she persuades him to take the chocolate, since wives always have a way of getting their way.
"How are you feeling?"
Remus takes the bars, nodding to her silently. He doesn't even feel like talking, and he's beginning to feel sick to his stomach. He must be honest though, because lying about something so critical could cost a life.
"You have to leave."
"I beg your pardon?" Tonks asks a little humor in her voice.
"Tonks, I'm serious, you cannot stay here tonight. I -"
Remus' serious tone causes Tonks to blink as she realizes what he must mean.
"Remus, you took your potion today, right?"
No answer. The silence that follows is Heaven and Hell all at once . Remus waits for the explosion.
"Remus, answer me ... You took your potion today."
He can't even look her in the face properly, knowing full well how disappointed she'll be with him.
"I didn't," Remus mumbles.
"You idiot! I can't leave you for one second without you reverting to your old ways! You have a wife now, and a family! You can't just wait for the moon to change you and bear through it anymore!" Tonks shouted, waving her arms around and almost knocking over a lamp.
Remus wants to reject her accusations even though they were true. In the beginning of his Hogwarts career, that's when Remus took the Wolfsbane potion for the first time. Before that, he'd always gone through with it alone in the Shrieking Shack. Not accounting for his school years.
"I asked one thing of you! The last thing I said before I left was, 'take care', and what do you do? I am extremely fed up with you always taking the dangerous route!"
Tonks fears she cannot even leave the man for a week. He doesn't know how to be accountable to others. She had talked to Sirius about Remus , before he died, and all he told her was to stick by him, because her loyalty would pay off. Remus would come through when it matters most. Tonks wonders when 'it matters most' will be and hopes to the God's that Teddy is something that matters to him.
Remus wants so badly to be the perfect husband, and a lovely father, but sometimes it's too much for him to handle. He would have taken the potion, but Remus' anxiety crackles at his mind, reminding him of how afraid he is of having a child. It's a lovely form of torture for him to forget about it. Even for just a night. Maybe Remus' risky actions will never be able to change, because its become a habit for him.
Tonks lays a hand on Remus' shoulder and says in a soft manner,"I yell at you because I love you."
Remus nods silently again . "I love you too. I love Teddy," Remus chokes out, ashamed of his thoughtlessness.
"You will be an amazing father. I don't care if you have some issues, everyone does. What matters is you sticking around and being a great example."
"I know," Remus sighs. "You're right. I am so afraid of passing on my genes to Teddy, because I could never willingly give this burden to anyone else."
"I bet he'll be like you, and therefore he will be as smart and kind hearted as you. If not a little whiny at times." Tonks throws a cheeky wink at Remus.
A shallow huff of breath comes out sounding like a half laugh, half sigh.
"You are amazing, actually. Here you are telling me all this, but Teddy will be a beautiful child because of you."
Tonks smiles. "Stop," she says embarrassed.
"No really, I hope he has your eyes," Remus replies seriously.
"I hope he has your nose."
"I hope he doesn't inherit your miserable inability to adapt to gravity." They both laugh loudly at the wise crack.
"Well in that case, I seriously hope he has a better memory than you! You always forget everything. I'm sure it's because of your sugar addiction."
Remus gives her a funny look, one eyebrow quirked upward and a grin on his face. "It's a chocolate addiction."
Both of them just laugh until their sides hurt, the situation before not having any effect on them anymore. The depression that filled them just moments ago is replaced with the joy and wonder of realizing that they have a living, breathing child. Remus knows Teddy will, in the beginning, looking like both of them, and behave like both of them. How can one not be in absolute awe? It's a life changing situation, and one his memory will never forget. For just a moment, they are able to forget their worries and live in joy.