Wednesday looked at the galaxy map without her usual smirk. She knew it was inevitable that she would be forced into a situation like this, that didn't mean she had to like it. As she looked over the pulsing points that were things needing her attention, combined with those that showed the state of the galactic conflict, it was a disturbingly busy hologram.

"Joker, what's our status?" she asked.

"Depends if you're taking my baby into another combat zone," the cocky pilot replied. "If you are, then we should stop by the Citadel or at least a friendly shipyard. I mean, I know I'm a miracle worker in this chair, but that whole geth-quarian mess scratched the paint a bit. Nothing we can't work around, but why risk it?"

"I'll think about it," Wednesday answered.

Honestly, it wasn't a bad idea, but she itched to get into a real fight, to feel it bleed when something was wounded, preferably her enemies. The fight with the cyber-representation of the Reaper had been interesting, but had somehow lacked what she craved. She was tempted to look into what Wrex had implied about her wayward adopted son Grunt, or the reports about Cerberus activities in human space against human targets. But as much as she wanted to stick her boot up the collective ass of the galaxy's most wanted, she recognised the need to give her crew the required shore leave lest they mutiny themselves.

"Joker, head to the Citadel and we'll book in some shore leave and maintenance."

"Aye aye Commander," came the reply and the subtle inertia shift of the thrusters kicking in. "Any chance of a generous credit allowance for brilliant flying?" he added over a private channel.

"Got a hot date lined up?" Wednesday asked lecherously.

"Only the kind that asks by the hour, or sometimes the night," Joker replied. Wednesday could hear the lust in her pilot's voice.

"Tell you what, you want a bonus, impress me. Your bonus will be whatever you can manage less than 3000 K of drift. The better you are, the prettier your date. If you can get less than 1000 without using the new IFF, I'll pay for her friend."

"Yes ma'am!" came the enthusiastic reply. Wednesday just smirked, it was all about knowing people's motivations most of the time, and fewer things motivated Joker more than sex.

"We've just gotten confirmation from our source, the Normandy has arrived," the darker-skinned of the two said.

"About time," the other replied. "Feels like I've been waiting forever."

"You shouldn't let impatience ruin what we've worked so hard for. Just a little longer, then you'll get what's coming to you." The second figure executed a program on her terminal, creating a short but very believable new identity for herself. She'd used a random name generator, and only looked at the name once the identity had been confirmed.

"Maya Brooks? Seems a bit boring compared to your usual choices," the other one commented.

"Like you're one to talk, you only want to be Commander Wednesday Shepard," the newly-named Maya protested incredulously.

"And soon I will be," Shepard replied, her eyes harder than stone.

"Wednesday, I heard you're on the Citadel, planning on staying long?" Admiral Anderson asked.

"A few days at least. Will I see you here?" Wednesday asked.

"Probably not. I'm dealing with some dug-in Reapers near the old batarian border. But if you're going to be there for a while, I could use a house sitter."

"Really David?" Wednesday asked, genuinely curious at the mundanity of the request.

"Oh I'm sure you'll cope. It's on the Silversun Strip, if that means anything to you," he added enticingly. At that detail, an eyebrow was raised. It might not be so boring after all.

"Alright, I'll water the plants, make sure it's properly aired, all that jazz."

"I'm sure you and Liara will of course not make use of the bedrooms, the Jacuzzi, and the many waist-high surfaces inside either," he said with a wink. "Kaylee particularly liked the piano, just FYI," he added conspiratorially.

"Commander, are we going to be safe for a few days?" Anacrusis asked.

"Define safe," Wednesday replied.

"Will I be able to stay on the ship during the time on the Star Fortress?" Ana elaborated.

"I don't see why not."

"Good, I will be able to, I suppose a term you would understand is molt," Ana said.

"So, you're going to leave a shell lying around because it's too small? Can I keep it?"

"Maybe molt was the wrong word," Ana replied. "I will be expanding my carapace slightly to allow for future growth, but instead of leaving a shell, I will merely absorb most of the existing carapace and reusing it. I will make a chrysalis to accelerate the process so it should only take a few days at most, instead of the weeks it would usually take underground. I will be a little... unstable mentally during the process, so please try not to disturb me."

"I'll let everyone know," Wednesday answered.

"Commander Shepard, your arrival on the Citadel is fortuitous," the salarian Councillor Valern opened.

"In what way?" Wednesday asked. She rarely had good news from unsolicited calls from the Council, particularly only one of them.

"Since the retirement of David Anderson, his replacement has been under some intense surveillance. Some of his activities, particularly of late, are beginning to show some concerning patterns."

"Like what?"

"Unusually large credit transactions, personally authorising imports without proper quarantine inspections, and fast-tracking the application for Spectre operative status for your former crew, Alenko and Williams, to name a few."

"And this affects me how?" Wednesday asked.

"Given that I am currently consolidating the evidence, I was hoping that by having a human Spectre make the arrest it would allay any perception that it was being motivated by speciest interests rather than matters of law."

"You know my opinions of the man."

"As a Spectre, I'm sure you'll do what you deem necessary Commander," Valern said a little too deliberately. "In any event, there are still some pieces of evidence outstanding, I suggest meeting with the C-Sec Executor in three days. Valern out."

As the hologram dissipated, Wednesday pondered on the hidden message Valern had communicated in the likely recorded transmission. Reminding her of her Spectre status, as well as glossing over her outstanding grudge against Udina, it was almost as if Valern was not just giving her permission, but an opportunity to finally return the favour for his betrayal of her during the events leading up to the mutiny of the first Normandy and stab him in the back. And front. And a few other places for good measure.

For the first time, Wednesday was looking forward to meeting with a Councillor.

"We need to accelerate our plans," Udina said furtively over the secure QEC channel. "The other Councillors are getting suspicious, and with Shepard on the station, well let's just say there is no love lost between us."

"Donnell, relax," the Illusive Man replied. "We are well placed to deal with both the Council and Shepard. Just have a little faith, and all will be as it should. Just a few more days at most."

"Need I remind you that I'm the one with the most to lose? And that I won't be going down quietly!" Udina hissed threateningly.

"Need I remind you, Acting Councillor, that just like any other politician, you can be replaced." It was telling on who had the real power in their relationship that it was Udina that backed down. "Though if it will stiffen your spine a little until events begin unfolding in earnest, I'll have one of my best lieutenants assigned to you."

"I take back any thought that this would be boring," Wednesday said, her voice a mix of contentment and exhaustion. Her current position, face down on the grand piano with her legs now dangling from the edge rather than supporting her, the warm, comfortable weight of Liara's naked body against her own, was the reason she sounded out if it.

"I don't know who Kaylee is, but she definitely has good taste in instruments," Liara agreed in a similarly content and panting tone. The two of them were content to lie together for a moment in the glorious aftermath of their sexual exploration of the ground floor.

Until Wednesday's omni-tool began to buzz where it had been dropped.

"Expecting a call?" Liara asked. The part-time Shadow Broker thought she had managed to clear both their schedules for at least the next 36 hours.

"No," the human replied. The two of them reluctantly untangled as the tool dimmed, indicating that the incoming was text or email. Still, it had gotten through her filters, which meant it was either important, or someone she knew. Ambling over to where it had been dropped, Wednesday slipped it back into her forearm and checked it out.

"Want to come out to dinner?" Wednesday asked after reading the message. "Apparently Joker has either run out of credits, his pleasurable companions are overwhelmed at his prowess and stamina, or he at theirs."

"Where?" Liara asked.

"Ryuusei, it's a sushi bar not too far away. Actually, I think you can see it from here," Wednesday said, shamelessly pressing her naked body against the full window as she peered down into the Silversun Strip, her cybernetically enhanced eyes spotting the sign, and the long line of people waiting to get in.

"You go ahead without me, I'm not in the mood for fish tonight," Liara answered. "Besides, I think we could both do with a shower and a small break before we continue upstairs."

"If you're sure you don't want to come, I'll bring back something tasty for dessert."

"Oh, I know you will," Liara said in that breathy, throaty whisper that set Wednesday on edge in all the right ways. The kiss at the nape of her neck and blue hand grabbing a handful of her ass didn't hurt either.

Despite the line, Wednesday was a recognisable enough character that she was waved through. The fact that lines were for other people and she just walked up to the door like she was going to be admitted regardless was just Wednesday being herself.

"Your table is waiting for you Commander, and your dinner companion is already seated," the hostess explained after greeting her. A moment later, drink in hand and sushi ordered, she sauntered over to the table where Joker had made a modest start without her. She let an appreciative eye wander across the tasteful decor as she walked, though they tended to be drawn downwards to the transparent floor and the live fish swimming lazily beneath her feet.

"I'm surprised Joker, I'd assumed Chastity and Virtue would keep you occupied for a while," Wednesday said as she sat down.

"You are aware it's been like eight hours, right?" Joker asked in reply. "Even with Viagra, five hours between the two of them, though sometimes over them or under them, is plenty for me for one day. Besides, judging from the fact your hair is still wet and that more-satisfied-than-usual smirk you're currently strutting around with, I assume you and Liara had an interesting time house sitting."

"Maybe. So, whose name did you have to drop to get the table anyway, the line looks pretty long."

"Actually, the Japanese style goes beyond the food and service, they move pretty quickly. And I thought you were the one who invited me?"

Wednesday paused for a second as she pondered what this meant, before sipping her cocktail.

"So, not at all concerned about the suspicious setup?" Joker asked.

"Joker, when have I ever been concerned about someone trying to kill me?" she asked in reply. "Honestly, I'm flattered that they went to this much effort to draw me out into a public place, where I'm less likely to be armed, intoxicated so my guard is down, and accompanied by the least combat effective member of my crew. If they make it worth my while, I might even play along for a while before I kill them." Her tone of voice and smirk never wavered, but Joker would swear every time he retold this story that her eyes glowed malevolently for a second as she contemplated what to her was what copper kettles and wool mittens were for Dame Julie Andrews.

They managed to get through their first round of sushi and sake before the next boot hit the floor. A woman of either Middle Eastern or subcontinental ancestry, dressed smartly in an Alliance uniform that Wednesday had been ignoring as she tried to get their attention from the line, finally made their way through the hostess and to their table.

"Commander Shepard!" the new person barked in annoyance at the gauntlet she had just run. Then there was a wide-eyed moment of realisation of who she had just shouted at. "I-I mean Commander, I need to speak with you urgently."

Wednesday calmly tipped her glass to Joker, before draining the sake, filling it up again and handing it to the new person.

"First, calm down, I'm not supposed to be scary at dinner. Second, who are you? Third, what's so important that you had to come find me in person instead of any other way of contacting me?" The new person quickly drank the proffered glass, calming a little before she set it down on the table.

"Maya Brooks, I'm a Staff Analyst with the Alliance," she introduced herself.

"Sure you're not with the STG?" Joker asked with a chuckle. Brooks was about to respond when the pilot pointed at her uniform lapel.

"Anyway, I tracked you down because someone is trying to kill you!" she said in a low, but insistent whisper.

"Oh, is that all?" Wednesday asked nonchalantly.

"How are you so calm about this!?" Brooks asked incredulously.

"Joker, how long have we been acquainted?"

"I'd say about nearly three years now, though that does include that two-year dirt nap you took, should I count that?"

"Count it however you want it," Wednesday replied. "And in that time, how many people have tried to kill me?"

"Man, even if we counted groups as a single entity, I gave up after the first month trying to keep track."

"And with one notable exception, you'll note that they have all spectacularly failed in their stated objective, and with no exceptions, all of them are now dead. Does that answer your question?" Wednesday asked pointedly.

"Oh, right," Brooks relied, deflating a little. "This group is different though. They aren't just trying to kill you; they're accessing all kinds of sensitive information about you as well."

"Ooh, interesting. Some cloak and dagger intrigue should be a nice change of pace from the usual run and gun antics we get up to," Joker said enthusiastically.

"Have to say, they picked a very nice place to ambush us, if they get their act together soon," Wednesday added. Brooks could hardly believe that she could be so calm about this.

"We could be attacked at any moment, and the two of are acting like it's a regular Thursday!?" she burst out.

"Look Brooks, I'm a very busy person, and they went to a lot of effort to get me here," Wednesday answered. "I'd like them to hurry up so I can stop looking longingly over at the desserts I want to have but desperately do not need, or get bored and just leave." Her answer came not from the visibly agitated Brooks, but from the sound of an armoured fist hitting someone's face, then said face subsequently the floor. Wednesday looked over to the door where a handful of armed and armoured hostiles had barged their way in. The self-appointed spokesperson fired a few attention-grabbing shots into the ceiling before making his demands.

"I'm gonna make this nice and simple!" he shouted to the room. "We're here for Commander Shepard!"

"About time," Wednesday muttered, draining her glass. "Joker, take Brooks here and get out of my way." Joker just nodded, grabbing Brooks lightly but insistently by the arm and dragging her silently protesting form to the fire exit.

"I'd apologise, but you interrupted a very nice dinner, and I hate people with bad manners," Wednesday called out.

"Apologise for wh-" the leader began to ask, before he was taken out by the table Wednesday had biotically kicked at him.

"Open fire!" one of his companions yelled. Wednesday didn't waste time, though she knew it would give her a bit of a headache, as she biotically charged not the closest enemy, but the furthest. In the purple blink of an eye, she went from her chair to behind her target, turning quickly and taking her head in a tight grip. As the rest of the restaurant patrons began to scream and flee, Wednesday just smiled.

"Nothing personal," Wednesday said lightly as she snapped the woman's neck, then proceeded to use the body as a human shield while she appropriated the sidearm.

She gave the long-barreled pistol an experimental heft, surprised by the lightness of the weapon, before turning it on her enemies. The first shot she aimed at the head of the tallest foe, appreciating the piecing power and the built-in silencer, though offset by the powerful recoil. It only took a few shots to overwhelm the shields and shatter the eye lens of the nearest enemy, leaving only two left. The first just charged at her, perhaps thinking she wasn't as good at fighting up close. The other backed away quickly, overturning a table to get some cover. Wednesday dropped the corpse as it was beginning to get too heavy to be convenient, focusing on the charging enemy.

As he ran in, his omni-tool engaged, flash forging a blade. Wednesday knew the blade would only be good for a few hits before it snapped into searing slivers. Depending on the perspective, being in a Japanese restaurant was either good or bad. For the mercenary about to stab Wednesday, it probably felt good because of the lack of metallic objects such as knives. Unfortunately for him, this lack of ready access to sharp objects, at least in the dining area, was actually a very bad thing for him, because it meant Wednesday had to get creative. Had she ready access to the kitchen, it would have been a different story.

She deftly avoided the first wild stab, passing to the side close to a table, grabbing a set of chopsticks as she ducked under the high swing. She rolled around his next vertical swing, bringing the chopsticks up in a fighting stance. The man just laughed as he lunged forward. Wednesday got the last laugh as she sidestepped out of the way, the omni-blade embedding into a table. Before he could free his hand it was pierced by one of the chopsticks Wednesday wielded. He tried to shoot her with his sidearm, only to find her grip was a lot stronger than his as she pushed the barrel into his thigh and pulled the trigger on him. As he went limp involuntarily from the sudden pain, he found his head held in a grip like a vice, before Wednesday violently pulled off his helmet and rammed the remaining chopstick up his nose and into his brain.

She got up quickly, wondering why the last one hadn't fired at her yet. She got her answer as the grenade rolled next to her. Acting purely on instinct, Wednesday went through the motions of a biotic charge, except targeting the grenade. Luckily for her, the grenade was affected enough to phase through the floor. Though only into the water-filled fish tank underneath, where the force of the blast was sent through the floor, creating a massive spiderweb of cracks.

"Oh shit," Wednesday said aloud, before the floor shattered, sending her, the fish, and several bodies down into the levels below.

A curious feature of Ryuusei was that, like several other trendy places on the Wards, its floors partially hung out from the main building. This meant that instead of just falling into whatever was on the floor below, everything fell into open air. The last surviving attacker screamed as she fell, the sound cutting off abruptly as she was hit by a passing truck. Wednesday was fortunate enough that she was within reach of the walls, grabbing at the giant billboard as she fell. Most of the horizontal lights broke as she used them to slow her fall, leaving her to rely on her biotics to lighten her remaining mass before she landed in a crate of frozen fish.

"Great, now I'm going to smell like fish," Wednesday muttered, inwardly cursing the irony as she ignored the wide-eyed awe of the salarian witness. She got herself out and stretched out the kinks before her omni-tool lit up.

"Commander, are you ok?" she heard Brooks ask.

"Just finished my cool down," Wednesday answered as she wanted into the market area.

"What!? Actually, never mind, where are you now?" Brooks asked quickly, though her voiced seemed a little strange.

"I have no idea, I fell a little. Why do you sound like that?"

"That's probably my fault," Joker confessed. "She was a little high-strung still after I got her out, so I may have forced a drink or three on her to calm her down. Mixed results by the looks of it."

"Look, they probably tracked you down the same way I did, using your omni-tool communication signature," Brooks interrupted. "So the more you use it, the faster they'll find you."

"Good to know," Wednesday said as she quickly set her tool to disconnect from the Citadel network. Hopefully it would confuse them for a while as she got her bearings, some decent weapons, and invitations to the rest of the crew.

Wednesday pulled out the QEC from her omni-tool for the moment, pressing the buttons for Liara, Garrus and Tali for a voice only connection.

"Done already?" Liara asked first.

"I finished dinner, but the entertainment is ongoing. Apparently, it was a trap, which I dutifully waited for them to spring like a good girl, before killing them all. Currently, I'm lost in the Wards waiting for them to find me again. So if any of you would like to join me, feel free. I haven't had this much fun since Elysium!"

"Cision Motors has a showroom nearby, which if nothing else has a good place to be picked up from once you've had enough fun. I'll let Joker know to head there at his convenience," Liara said.

"Oh, that reminds me, there's an analyst currently with him, Brooks something or other," Wednesday remembered aloud. "She said the current pre-corpses were poking around some sensitive information about me, might be worth looking into, perhaps even inviting her along."

"I'll think about it," Liara replied, professional pride pricked at the notion of someone knowing about this before she did.

"I'm probably too far away, and knowing you they'll be dead before I get there," Garrus said ruefully. "I do know someone who might be in the area looking for fun, so I'll let them know."

"I'm busy," was all Tali said.

"Too busy for wholesale murder?" Garrus teased. "I'm shocked."

"Tali, what's going on?" they heard another, familiar voice from Tali's end.

"Nothing you need to worry about Solana," they heard Tali reply. "This however, well, let's just say it's probably better you're blindfolded." There was something between a squeak and a moan from Solana to taunt Garrus, before Wednesday turned off the QEC so she could turn her attention to her surroundings.

Wednesday's surroundings boasted a number of different stalls selling everything from potatoes to pottery to porn. Thanking her foresight in having a separate credit chit, Wednesday was able to make her way through getting a new set of steak knives, a ukulele, some insulin injectors and some nutmeg. Once she had finished her little spree, and a few minutes in a dark alley to stash all her new stuff on her person, she powered up her omni-tool. Choosing somewhere with good sightlines, she placed a call to Acting Councillor Udina.

The call was quickly answered, though the civility of the conversation evaporated as soon as he find out who had managed to call his private line from an unknown source.

"Commander Shepard, what do you want?"

"Can't I make a social call anymore?" Wednesday asked faux innocently.

"I'd sooner believe vorcha can sing Puccini," Udina replied venomously.

"The galaxy is full of surprises," Wednesday replied sweetly. "Though we really should meet officially, get a feel of what you're up to, things like that," she added lightly, enjoying the tightening of certain facial muscles as panic began to set in.

"Anyway, this was just a friendly call, I'm sure we'll have a chance for something more official later. Goodnight," she signed off, the lighting making her face seem darkly ethereal as she closed the connection. In his office, heart racing, Udina abandoned the glass to drink straight from the bottle of vodka. For her part, Wednesday just watched as a trio of unmarked shuttles came in, disembarked more adversaries in the same armour as the group that interrupted her dinner, then left again. She watched silently as they spread out, cleared or closed the market stalls by force, investigated the bodies of their fallen comrades, then began to fan out in threes to find her. She smiled as a cat would after finding itself in a house full of tasty rodents.

This was going to be fun.

"Do we have confirmation of the target in the area?" Wednesday heard one ask as she stalked them from above.

"Our sources can't track her exact location, but her omni-tool is still in the area," came the radioed reply. "Life sign scans of the area also confirm only one other human-sized signature in range. It should be her." If the leader of the little trio had been a little more aware of his surroundings, he may have paid more attention to the grunt of exhalation behind him. Or the muffled screams as he checked his omni-tool scanning settings, before a wet snap cut them off.

"Bravo patrol, watch out, we just lost Reddington and Shirtley!"

The leader Wednesday had been stalking raised his weapon and turned sharply, only for it to be snatched from his hands. He got a quick look and Shirtley, stabbed in the back; and Reddington, neck clearly broken, before something tight closed around his own neck. He scrambled instinctively, clawing at his throat, but his thick, armoured digits could not get between the skin and Wednesday's improved ukulele-string garrote. As the life was literally choked out of him, Wednesday only grinned wider, her teeth unsettlingly white in her predatory smile.

"Reddington, Shirtley, Bergen, come in!" the radio operator called through. Wednesday picked up the comm unit from the now dead Bergen, idly wondering whether to use it, or just listen in on her prey panicking.

"You'll have to shout a lot louder if you want them to hear you," she whispered menacingly, choosing the former, before hiding away in the shadows as she stalked her next victims.

"Attention Bravo Patrol, the target has taken out one of our teams. Be on high alert, and don't let her leave the area!"

"Where the hell are our reinforcements!?" The last of the mercenaries yelled into his comm. Wednesday had been an efficient, creative and disturbing predator, her laughter echoing over the comm network mixing with the screams of her victims.

"C-Sec has locked down that area, you need to get to open ground so our shuttles can land," came the harried reply.

"I would if we hadn't locked and scrambled the door locks on the way in!" he shouted back. Then he went eerily silent as there was a hiss of air at his neck, and an electronic tone as the door unlocked itself. His face bathed in green light, he activated his comm again.

"Please tell me that was you," he whispered fearfully.

"That what was me?" the dispatcher replied. "I'm trying to get that door opened through our little backdoor in C-Sec."

"So you didn't just unlock the door," he confirmed.

"No, it'll take me at least a minute. Unless you have a Spectre override code you've been hiding from me?" The man turned around slowly, hoping not to see what he knew was there.

"Want to know my favourite thing about being a Spectre?" Wednesday asked menacingly. "There's a great little clause in the contract, page 2, about half way down. It says that unless I have been directly informed not to, I have a license to kill anyone that impedes me in the course of my duties. I'm sure you understand the implications for your current situation."

"Wait, wait, wait, don't kill me, I'll tell you anything you want to know," he pleaded.

"Oh really?" Wednesday asked, leaning in uncomfortably close.

"Yeah, I'll tell you who hired me, where to find them, what they want, anything!"

"Well, that does leave me with a bit of a quandary. Might have to flip for it," she said, theatrically pulling out a coin. "Tails, I let you spill whatever secret you desire." As the coin went upwards, he couldn't help but follow it with his eyes, but knew the information he had could keep him alive, so began taking anyway.

"The woman behind all this, she -"

He would have continued, but the overdose of insulin and nutmeg Wednesday had injected him with took effect.

"Heads, I get to keep playing," Wednesday continued with a smile, catching the coin heads up. The door unlocked, she proceeded through and over to the Cision lot, curious as to who would arrive first. As she waited, she pondered on who the mysterious woman the last mercenary had mentioned was.

She was slightly disappointed a few minutes later when she saw that the approaching shuttle was decked in standard C-Sec blue instead of one of the ones from before. Her smirk returned when instead of landing and disgorging enthusiastic, if slightly misguided, peace officers, the shuttle floated a few metres away from the pad. The side hatch opened and there were more hostiles inside. The tallest of them carried a multi-barreled heavy gun of what looked like geth design. Wednesday smiled as she readied her biotics, the show car she was leaning against about to become a luxury model shield.

To her mild surprise, the anticipated impacts never came, as the shuttle was rocked by a massive impact from above.

"That is no way to greet a lady!" she heard as the offender was yanked bodily out if the shuttle and face to face with an upset Urdnot Wrex. "You never greet a lady at range, only in melee!" With that he threw the merc and his weapon at Wednesday's feet, before displaying an agility that belied his size as he swung himself into the shuttle interior. Pulling out his shotgun with one hand and balling the other into a fist, Wednesday heard him bellowing before the hatch closed automatically.

"Alright, who's female and who's male!?"

The shuttle rocked back and forth before the pilot tried to get away. He made it a few meters before an internal shift pitched the nose forward and down; the screen shattered and he was sent screaming into the Wards hundreds of metres below. Wednesday nodded approvingly at Wrex's technique, idly kicking the one Wrex had tossed her way and sending him into unconsciousness. She waited until Wrex piloted the damaged shuttle back to the pad, smirking warmly.

"Wrex, good to see you haven't gone soft on me," Wednesday greeted the old krogan.

"Well, you always did find the best fights," Wrex admitted.

"Not that I don't appreciate the help, but what say we head back to my place and I'll catch you up. The rest of them should be finished what and who they were doing by the time we get there."

"What about him?" Wrex asked, gesturing at the knocked out merc. Wednesday relieved him of his omni-tool and the wrist it was attached to, but left him alive. "Really, alive?"

"Much though it may seem unbelievable Wrex, I've had enough for one night."

"You're right, I don't believe it," Wrex replied.

"Look, first I was screwed on or against a dozen different surfaces, went out to a dinner trap, then spent an hour stalking and killing these guys up close and personal. Honestly, killing him now would just be anticlimactic. Besides, leaving him alive for C-Sec to question will make them feel just a little better about the fact that it happened in the first place."

"You may have a point," Wrex conceded.

"So, what are you doing on the Citadel that Garrus could call you as my dance partner?" Wednesday asked idly as she broke into one of the cars that would hold Wrex, leaving a credit chit and a note as her concession to the owner.

"Well, now that the Primarch has come good on the transport, I intend to get the Council to listen and agree to certain planetary assignments. Nothing related to the Rebellions, that time is past, but I want the krogan to have first pick of the next dozen or so garden worlds."

"Seems reasonable," Wednesday said as she started the car. "And the other reason, the one causing that limp you're sporting?"

"Ha, trust you to notice," Wrex grumbled good-naturedly. "Well, after the whole genophage cure happened, Bakara seems like she intends to start a brand new clan of my offspring. Swear to Kalros, as soon as she was done with me she opened the door and let the rest of the females in. There was a line! It never stopped!"

Wednesday didn't stop laughing the whole way back.

Wednesday wasted little time in assembling a team of experts, assassins and political and military operatives once she got back to her temporary apartment. Which meant that Liara put on a dressing gown that barely passed for a shirt, Wrex found a comfy spot on the couch near the bar so he could get ice for his groin, Garrus finished his business and Tali was coaxed away from her new admirer. Though not too far, as the quarian admiral had come through the door with Solana over her shoulder, the turian passed out with a satisfied smile on her face. Wednesday also called in Joker to bring Brooks over to explain what she had found.

Once arrayed around the table, Wednesday threw down the stolen pistol and the bloody hand she took from the mercs who attacked her, causing Brooks (and only Brooks) to flinch.

"Brooks, you brought this to my attention, so start talking. What were they looking at?" Wednesday asked.

"From what I can tell - everything. Financial, medical, service history, travel logs, extranet browsing history, surveillance, and then cross-referencing heavily with Alliance and C-Sec records. It's hard to say if there's anything about you they don't know."

"I wouldn't be so confident," Wednesday replied, knowing just how well the Addams liked to keep their secrets.

"Alright, so we know how they found me, and that they are after me specifically. They didn't want civilian casualties, so it's not about discrediting my effectiveness."

Tali picked up the hand, pulling off the omni-tool and connecting it to her heavily modified interface. After a few minutes of data mining and indexing, she pulled up the most relevant thing she had found.

"Whoever they are, they were professional. New tools, very little information on them. It'll take a while longer to trawl through the location data, but I've got the names of the team assigned to you."

"They were all human, military training not private security, should help narrow it down," Wednesday added.

"I'll run the names past my contacts, see what comes up," Liara offered, catching Wednesday's eyes to silently confirm the Shadow Broker network without alerting Brooks.

"Hmm, illegal mods on this thing," Garrus mused as he tinkered with the pistol, making it even more illegal as he expertly calibrated the internal mechanisms to compensate for the increased recoil while maintaining its killing power. "They tried to remove any identifiers, but they were sloppy. There's only a handful of operators I know if capable of smuggling in this kind of thing. How many did you say you killed?"

"Fifteen personally," Wednesday answered immediately. "One hit a truck, and then Wrex killed a bunch as well. Not all of them had sidearms, but most of them had some older model rifles and shotguns, probably similarly modded."

"That helps, it's one thing to smuggle a case of pistols, but multiple cases of illegal, high-powered weapons? Were the shotguns human designs?" Wednesday nodded.

"Then your most likely culprit is Elias Khan, a business tycoon about as legitimate as your uncle," Garrus said as he handed over the improved pistol. Not mentioning Fester by name was another nod to Brooks' status as the outsider among them.

"Alright, looks like we need to make a social call," Wednesday said with an anticipatory smirk.

"We may not have to go out of our way," Liara replied. Wednesday raised an eyebrow and gestured for the asari to elaborate.

"Elias Khan is throwing a charity gala tomorrow evening. While we may not have an express invitation, I doubt he'd stop you at the door. It would be bad publicity."

"Why couldn't we tick whoever this is off sooner?" Wednesday asked with mild exasperation. "First she gives me a nice dinner and an all you can kill buffet, now a perfect excuse to dress to kill!" Brooks nervously laughed a little at what she thought was a joke, but the serious faces around her made her quickly stop.

"In the meantime, I'm sure you all have things to do, so we can reconvene later," Liara said politely yet forcefully. She looked reach of them in the eye as they all have their excuses and left, even the steadfast Wrex. Brooks was the only one clueless as Joker once again pulled her away.

"What was that about?" she asked aloud.

"Geez, I forget you're just a random," Joker replied. "Let's just say that the Commander and Liara were interrupted by that dinner assassination attempt, and Liara obviously just hit peak horny again."

"Oh. Oooh."

Kill Khan, the text message said. Shepard just rolled her eyes.

Can't, busy with your plan, she sent back on the secure channel. You kill him if he's a liability; I still need to get ready to hit the archives and the ship.

I can't, Brooks texted back. Need to maintain my cover. Though I was sorely tempted to just kill her earlier, damn asari-loving race traitor.

I'll see what I can do then, Shepard replied. Her schedule for the next 36 hours was tight, but like her genetic namesake, she was fairly certain she could fit in an important murder into that.

Kai Leng looked up from the message he had just received.

"Change of plans Councillor, you're not going to the gala tomorrow."

"And why the hell not?" Udina asked in annoyance.

"Because you'll suddenly be busy working for the benefit of humanity," Leng said pretentiously. "Unless you want to be there when Wednesday Shepard turns up and there's a murder?"

"Hmm, I think I can manage to spin that," Udina murmured.

"Just think, soon you won't have to," Leng replied.

"Are you sure you need me to come?" Brooks asked feebly. "I mean, I'm not exactly much good in a fight if those Cat-6 guys turn up." In the last 24 hours, Liara had been able to confirm the Alliance training, and that all of them had been dishonorably discharged under Category 6 of the Alliance Code of Military Justice for recklessness or insubordination. They'd apparently banded together and called themselves Cat-6, though why was anyone's guess.

"You help discover this plot, you help resolve it," Wednesday replied. She didn't voice her suspicions of the supposed analyst, as Sam didn't know of her. While in itself not concrete evidence, communications analysts were a small group, so it was odd to have one Sam hasn't heard of. Liara had of course done a background check on Brooks, but Wednesday knew from personal experience that such things could be convincingly fabricated.

"Also, why the sword and kimono?" Brooks asked.

"I made the sword myself in a Japanese style, so it only makes sense that if I'm going to dress up and have my sword included, a kimono is not only culturally appropriate, but also stylish, comfortable and surprisingly easy to move in," Wednesday explained.

"Oh, right," Brooks replied sheepishly.

Soon after settling on Wrex as her plus one for the evening, along with the hesitant Brooks, Wednesday once again made a stunning entrance on the red carpet. Wednesday smirked mostly to herself as she watched Brooks fidget nervously, Wrex ham it up trying to goad figures into causing a 'diplomatic incident' and the security personnel trying to decide which out of Wrex, herself or Aish Ashland, celebrity red sand junkie, was the most likely troublemaker for the evening.

Wednesday mingled for about half an hour, making sure everyone saw her sword and the smile on her face. She enjoyed making everyone wonder 'if that's what she's showing, what is she hiding?' Brooks made a beeline for the bar and looked to be about three drinks in so far, making seem less likely she was somehow involved in all this. Thirty minutes seemed enough time to see if Khan was the type who would worry enough to make a personal appearance to get her, or confident enough to snub her. She was not disappointed it was the latter, as the former would make her wonder how he had been so successful. At that point, she just sauntered her way upstairs to the pair of bouncers in front of a discreet doorway.

"Ma'am, no access through here," the left one said, placing a hand on her shoulder. Wednesday took the offending hand in her own cybernetically enhanced one, feeling the bones grate against each other as she pulled him close to whisper menacingly in his ear.

"You either don't recognise me, or if you do severely underestimate me. I need to have a little chat with your boss, and I'm not picky about getting blood on my outfit." His partner pulled his gun, but wavered at the look Wednesday shot him.

"Let her in," Wednesday heard over the earpiece of her current victim. She let him go without bothering to acknowledge the no doubt murderous look he gave her, before walking through the door and into the administration area through to Khan's office.

The office was like many others she had known, even her father's on Mindoir. Large desk, leather-bound books lining expensive wooden shelves, trophies of personal significance, feature windows. Though Khan settled for what looked like vintage guns, whereas her father went more for hunting trophies, sentient or otherwise.

"Commander Shepard, I was hoping to avoid this visit," Khan said calmly as he turned in his chair, cradling an ancient, double-barreled shotgun.

"Unless you really want to test me Khan, I'm not here to kill you."

"Oh?" he asked with genuine confusion.

"Look, I'm well aware that you're probably as bent as a sickle, and any other day of the week I'd probably be in here, doing exactly what you expected, but today you're not on the top of my list. I know you smuggled in some weapons recently, I just want to know who for."

"That's all you want?"

"Her name, if you would, and please don't insult my intelligence by denying you know it."

"Of course I know it, but I'm not sure you'll believe -"

What he was uncertain of Wednesday wouldn't find out from him, as a well-placed sniper round burst through one of the windows, the back of his chair, and his head, painting her kimono shades of blood, brain and bone. She activated her barrier on instinct, but held back on the one to draw her sword. She was about to leave when a text message arrived on Khan's omni-tool.

No spoilers.

Wednesday looked out the window the shot had come from, seeing a muzzle flash before a round splashed across her barrier. Another text arrived before Wednesday left the room.

Next time, no warning shot.

Wednesday walked calmly back into the casino floor even as the security detail rushed into the room. One tried to detain her and got a broken arm for his trouble before their leader told him to back off, given the shot trajectory. As she walked towards the exit, collecting Brooks, terrified at her new layer, and Wrex disappointed that he hadn't had a chance to clean out the buffet, one set of thoughts consumed Wednesday.

Who was the sniper, and how had they managed to get the upper hand against her?

"Congratulations Donnell, by this time tomorrow, humanity will be the leaders of the galaxy, as we were always meant to be," the Illusive Man said.

"Yes, well I can't say it's been a pleasure, but I'm sure I'll get used to the new order of things," Udina replied.

"Just make sure to do your part and everything will be fine," came the effusive response. "Leng, you'll be leading the attack on C-Sec headquarters. According to our intelligence, Councillor Valern will be there. I would like him alive if possible, but dead will be fine."

"It'll be my pleasure," Leng replied.

"Wednesday, there's a problem," Liara said, more annoyed than worried.

"What now?" Wednesday asked. "I was planning on meeting Valern today."

"This is probably more important. Someone just used your Spectre override code to enter the Citadel Archive."

"That's probably bad."

"I'd say catastrophic," Liara confirmed.

"Alright, put whoever is on the Normandy on alert, and get a message to the rest of them, we're going hunting."

Half an hour later, the two of them met Garrus, Tali, Wrex, Vega, Solana and Lurch at the entrance to the Archive, the Normandy crew put on alert to move at a moment's notice.

"We'll split into two teams," Wednesday explained quickly. "Wrex, Garrus and Tali with me, the rest of you with Liara. Spilt up and keep in contact." Her crew nodded and split up accordingly, following her into the shadowy Archive.

"So, aside from the name, anyone have any idea what to expect?"

"Just rumours from C-Sec mostly," Garrus answered.

"Most of the network only knows of it by name, and no one living had been inside it, so any intel is probably out of date," Liara added.

"Ah, hunting down unknown enemies and killing them with big guns, takes me back to the last time I ran with you," Wrex said smiling.

The guards they found gassed instead of gutted, probably to make it less suspicious. Wednesday filed that away as she pushed through into the Archive itself. There she had more than enough targets to play with, shooting, slicing and stabbing her way through her enemies. As they went along the motion-sensitive hologram projectors whirred to life to describe the contents of their cases. Among the elcor fertility idol, recordings of the first Spectre authorising collateral damage and early geth platforms, only one entry caught her attention, causing her to stop and investigate further.

"What's the holdup?" Wrex asked, anxious to get back to the fight.

"Much like your grandfather's armour Wrex, this box contains something of fantastic value to the right person," Wednesday answered.

"I don't get the appeal of a box with a pair of birds on it," Garrus added, looking at the hologram.

"Unless it's about the fact that it was recovered by Henry Jones Jr?" Tali guessed.

"Top men indeed," Wednesday muttered under her breath. "I'll come back for this later, so let's make sure the other team hasn't gotten too far ahead."

They made their way in deeper into the Archive, until they began to see the vaults themselves.

"Wait, it's a -" they heard before the open vault activated the shield. "... trap," Solana finished meekly. Wednesday looked over at the next vault cylinder, where Solana was the only conscious member of Liara's team.

"So glad you could join us," a familiar voice intoned from the shadows. The sound of footsteps preceded the owner stepping into the light, revealing someone armoured working at a terminal behind them.

"Brooks, if that even is your name," Wednesday said evenly. The woman currently masquerading as Staff Analyst Brooks gave a little bow. "I don't know whether to congratulate your Oscar-worthy performance and the massive confidence to even try something like this, or pity the ignominious death you're about to receive."

"Coming from someone stuck inside an airtight vault where no-one will even think to look for at least a century or two, forgive me if I don't take than as a threat. Also, this wasn't just my plan," she added, gesturing to her companion who was now scanning her palm on the terminal interface.

"New palm print accepted, updating Spectre records for Shepard, Wednesday Friday," the computer intoned. The figure turned around and dramatically removed her helmet, revealing the familiar face underneath.

"Surprised to see me?" Shepard asked at Wednesday's slight gasp.

"Oh, this is good," Wednesday said softly. "I'm going to have so much fun when I get out of here."

"No, I really don't think so," Shepard said snugly. "See, in a few minutes, these vaults will seal, and then the real Commander Shepard will tell everyone that it was just a training exercise. Maybe sometime in the future when you're long dead, someone may wonder what I was doing in here, and they'll find your desiccated corpses."

"Why go to all this trouble?" Tali asked. "If you're a clone, why not just kill us all and be done with it?"

"I had to wait until I could get all of you, because with the rest of you out of the way, no one important will be able to contradict me. And as much as I am identical in every way, I don't have the same palm patterns, the one thing not dictated by DNA. So, while I would love to watch you all bleed out, I have better things to do." As if punctuating her point, the ceiling shook from some distant explosion.

"I should go," Wednesday heard the clone's mocking tone as the vault closed, sealing them away as it was taken into its storage rack.

"Uh, you do have a plan, right Wednesday?" Wrex asked. "Because out of the three of you, you're the only one I can eat, and I'm not sure about that, given how much of you is probably plastic or metal these days."

"Wrex, you say that as if you don't trust me," Wednesday said with a smirk.

"I trust that we're killing both of them, right?" Tali interrupted.

"Actually, this time I want them alive, or at least still able to talk and feel pain," Wednesday replied. "As for our current predicament, well..."

"Lurch?" Wednesday called out sweetly. There was a sound of tearing metal as the implacable zombie tore his way through the walls of both the cylinders.

"You. Rang. ?." he said solidly.

"Gah! Forgot about him," Wrex startled.

"Now, just a few minutes to correct some things and we can be on our way," Wednesday said as she stepped out and began hopping back to the terminal the clone had been using. As she corrected the revisions Shepard had made, Wednesday was treated to some interesting news: apparently this attempt on her life and reputation hadn't been done alone. Apparently Cerberus, not happy to just harass human worlds, had decided to try for a juicier prize.

That would have to wait though, as the program she used to track the now-removed Shepard's Spectre status gave her a location and a trajectory.

"We're not done with her yet, she's trying to take more of my stuff," Wednesday said. "Then we'll come back and deal with Cerberus."

"What is that clone going after?" Wrex asked as Wednesday summoned Joker from his standby position.

"Wrex, after my name, what is the one thing most people associate me with?" Wednesday asked in reply.

"I dunno, why I asked," he grumbled back. "Probably your ship I'd say."

"Precisely."

"Commander, I thought you could use a pickup," Joker said over the radio as the borrowed shuttle landed and the hatch opened. As they all quickly piled inside, Wednesday opened a quick channel to Sam, one of the few left on the ship to oversee the repairs.

"Sam, no time to explain, but there's an impostor heading your way. Unless you feel confident you can kill them yourself, don't resist. Stall them if you can, I'll be there to deal with them soon."

"Ah, alright, but I'll want the full story later," Sam replied, having been through enough with Wednesday to take what she said on faith.

"It's a good one!" Wrex called out, before Wednesday cut the channel.

Wednesday opened the door a little to encourage Joker to move the shuttle a little faster, only to see a splash of smooth red hair spilling out from his crotch. Despite what looked and sounded like a very enthusiastic encouragement coming from whoever was down there, Joker looked to be giving his best flying. Wednesday said nothing as she watched for a few seconds, seriously reconsidering his request for a more permanent companion on the Normandy. Hell, her ship, her rules; or at least they would be once again soon.

They met no resistance as they touched down practically on the dock the Normandy was resting on, the fighting on the rest of the station drawing away the usual security contingent. They piled out, leaving Joker and his 'friend' to do something else as they went to retake the Wednesday's ship. They ran up the airlock tube just as Sam came out in a huff, holding her toothbrush like a weapon.

"I swear to Allah, if I ever see that stuck-up twat again I am going to shove this into her brain and perform some amateur neurosurgery!" she hissed at Wednesday. "Oh, and your clone fired me," she added less forcefully.

"Who stirred you up so much?" Garrus asked as Tali tried to open the door.

"She called herself Brooks, and that smarmy fake-smile she had on as she disparaged my communications set-up almost had me going at her, even without all the guns she brought," Sam replied angrily. "Oh, and don't bother with the door, the flight lockdown has started."

"Luckily, there's always a backdoor," Wednesday replied, pulling up the floor grate as the outer door sealed them in. "Though I forgot my thieves' tools, the precision biotic field manipulator specifically." Sam looked sadly at her toothbrush, before handing it over with a look of steel.

"You're getting me another one."

As they crawled down through the engineer access, Wednesday chucked as Wrex grumbled about the space, or lack thereof in his case.

"Though this is the first time I've hijacked a ship using a toothbrush," he admitted.

"A little louder Wrex, I didn't think they heard you in the cargo bay," Garrus whispered back as they felt the internal dampeners kick in, which meant the ship was moving. Wednesday crawled a little faster, before bursting out of the grate at the apex of the command podium. She scanned around, seeing only the pilot usurping Joker's seat.

"Where is everyone?" Tali asked curiously as Wednesday silently ordered Lurch to deal with the pilot. A scream that rang through the ship from below them answered the quarian's question.

"What is it?" one of the Cat-6 crew asked.

"I've never seen anything like it, and our intel didn't say," Brooks replied, looking with undiagnosed curiosity at the purple, crystalline structure at the back of the cargo bay.

"You can look into it later, once our work for today is done," Shepard ordered everyone. She had of course led the Cat-6 crew through all areas of the ship, making sure that Sam Traynor was the only one they had to deal with before they took the Normandy.

"Wonder if it will shatter if I shoot it?" another of the mercs thought aloud. Shepard just despaired that he wasn't one of the ones her progenitor had been able to kill.

"You heard the Commander, leave it alone," one of the more stable ones responded to him. A gunshot a second later let everyone know what won out between orders and psychosis.

"Aw man, I thought it would explode or something," the shooter said disappointed.

"Whatever, wait what the hell is -" his companion began, before brain-vibrating shriek pieced through the air. Shepard didn't know why the sound caused her brain to vibrate in her skull, but knew it wasn't going to be good. Before she could get to whatever had caused the sound, and now the screams of her subordinates, she heard the elevator open behind her.

"That, I'm guessing, was Ana," Wednesday said as if solving a problem.

"You know, I was a little disappointed that I had to leave you in that vault, looks like I get to kill you after all," Shepard replied.

"What is she wearing?" Tali stage whispered. "It's that meant to be a rip off of your look, or is she just colour blind?" Shepard looked down at her silver-finished armour with the black and blue stripe on the right shoulder, contrasted with Wednesday's black with white and red stripe.

"Don't care, let's get killing," Wrex said bluntly, charging forward into a group of hostiles.

"Couldn't agree more," Wednesday answered, unsheathing her curved katana.

Wednesday charge at her doppelganger, sword and pistol in hand once more. Shepard grinned as she counter-charged, unsheathing a European broadsword as she did. They met in the middle, blades clanging as they clashed.

"Just because you have a sword, you think you have what it takes to be me?" Wednesday challenged. "You have to be able to use it first." Shepard didn't rise to the insulting tone, just channeled her focus through the close quarter combat training she had received from her neural implants.

"Not bad," Wednesday said brightly as she ducked under a slash, blocked another and took a shot with her pistol that Shepard twisted away from. "But I've got some bad news for you."

"What, that you're not left handed?" Shepard spat.

"Damn it, was it that predictable?" Wednesday bemoaned as she activated her jump boots, vaulting over Shepard, holstering her pistol with her right hand and transferring her katana to her now free hand. The fight continued in earnest, Wednesday and Shepard thrusting and slashing, parrying and riposting, testing each other's technique for weaknesses.

All the while, another battle unfolded in the hangar. Most of Wednesday's team, save Lurch, either provided covering fire, or waded into the fight in close quarters. They were momentarily surprised when a couple of screaming, flailing bodies soared into a wall followed by an Anacrusis literally glowing with biotics and incandescent rage at being interrupted in her metamorphosis. Seeing the best fight he was likely to get outside of a thresher maw, Wrex wasted no time in charging the young rachni queen.

"Time for a rematch!" Wrex shouted as he charged.

Tali twisted her qel'arka theatrically as she slashed and stabbed her opponent, taking stock of the room.

"Wait a minute, where's Brooks?" she asked quietly.

"Oh, did you miss me?" came the mocking reply as Brooks decloaked, firing her shotgun into Tali's unprotected flank. Thankfully her shields absorbed the damage, but they probably wouldn't take too many more shots like that.

"Bosh'tet!" Tali shouted as she turned and swung her weapons, the blade hitting nothing but air as Brooks disappeared.

"Great, now I need to recalibrate my visual scanners," Tali grumbled as she threw one of her weapons forward at the exposed neck of a hostile, striding forward and retrieving it without missing a step.

Shepard grew tired of using the traditional against Wednesday; it was getting both of them nowhere. It was time to try something unconventional. Activating her biotics, Shepard telegraphed an early blocked vertical swing, only instead of the blades hitting, Shepard used her biotics to 'jump' behind Wednesday, her blade now biting into black armour.

"Oh, that was new," Wednesday said gleefully as she slashed backwards, forcing Shepard to jump again. This time, Wednesday was anticipating it, already moving her sword up to block the incoming strike. Wednesday twisted her neck, activating a biotic nullifying field in an effort to reduce her enemy's newfound mobility as she began a flurry of quick, light strikes to force Shepard's attention and make her move backwards.

"Want to see my new trick?" Wednesday challenged as Shepard approached the wall Wednesday had been pushing her towards. Wednesday telegraphed her own swipe at Shepard's legs, forcing Shepard's attention down as she jumped upwards, jet powered boots propelling her upwards as she turned off the nullifying field and tried something that would work in theory, given her recent experience in the geth consensus. Her boot magnets activated on low power, her biotics reorienting her personal gravity, Wednesday stood on the wall like a very strange Spider-Man. Shepard just huffed, unimpressed as she began fighting an opponent perpendicular to her.

Wrex was having the time of his life as the larger and angrier Anacrusis smacked him away with one of her deceptively muscular tentacles. Here was an opponent he didn't have to hold back on, who was powerful yet sloppy from her rage, unstable and exploitable. Not that it meant it was easy, as he biotically charged her again, grabbing one of her smaller front arms for leverage as he punched her repeatedly in the head.

"Who's the boss now!?" he bellowed.

"I AM!" Anacrusis shrieked back, grabbing him and smashing him into the wall, floor and ceiling face first before throwing him against the hangar ramp.

"You may have a point," he said woozily, down for a moment before his regeneration kicked in and got him back in the fight.

"Damn it, I just got that treated!" Garrus shouted angrily as Brooks appeared, shot him in his recently injured shoulder, and then disappeared again. Vega was already down from a shot to the gut from the invisible assassin, and Liara and Solana were too busy finishing off the mercs to help him much. She was also moving too quickly and striking too frequently for him to properly calibrate his eyepiece to compensate for her cloak, which wasn't based on geth technology he was already familiar with. It really didn't help his composure the way she kept laughing. Another shot from behind forced him down, he turned onto his now injured back to see her level the gun at his chest.

"I never liked turians," she said with an evil smile. Fortunately for Garrus, Tali had been hunting Brooks' sensor footprint while invisible, and had finally pinned it down. Jumping from the side, she lunged forward and stabbed upwards with her weapons, forcing the shotgun barrel upwards, saving Garrus and severely injuring Brooks, who now had a qel'arka handle-deep in her forearm. Brooks dropped the weapon and disappeared again to deal with her wounds, leaving Garrus and Tali a private moment.

"That's another one you owe me," Tali said.

"Just add it to the list then," Garrus replied.

"I think I'd rather take my payment in your sister," Tali retorted.

"Pervert."

"And loving it. So did she, in case you were wondering."

"How!?" Shepard said in exasperation as Wednesday began a new technique that even she hadn't seen before and was having difficulty defending against.

"Let me guess, you're how old, a year at most?" Wednesday asked as if it was dinner conversation instead of a brutal swordfight. Both of them bled from minor wounds, but nothing debilitating.

"Bet you got most of your instruction from neural implants?" she continued, recalling Okeer's experiments that led to the creation of Grunt.

"Whereas I was taught by a master since I was shorter than my sword. Decades of practice, of finding and mastering new, or indeed old, martial arts. I doubt Cerberus puts much stock in asari or turian techniques, like this!" With that she executed a complex set of fluid moves around Shepard, coming uncomfortably close for the clone as Wednesday stepped through an asari war dance before finishing with a turian-style disarming strike, sending Shepard's sword flying.

"And that is why you fail!" Wednesday shouted gleefully.

Shepard gave up all pretense of control as she tackled Wednesday, sending the katana away as the two of them wrestled with deadly intent. It probably would have continued for quite some time, had several things not happened at once. Firstly, Wrex lifted Anacrusis above his head and threw her into the nearest wall headfirst. This had the dual effect of finally rendering her unconscious, and opening the hangar ramp as her impact scrambled the circuits. The ramp opening caused the ship to pitch violently forward as the pilot choose that moment to try and escape Lurch's watch, to her fatal disappointment, leaving the ship without a pilot as the aerodynamic profile rapidly changed before the autopilot kicked in and stabilised the ship.

All of this led to both Wednesday and Shepard tumbling down the open ramp, hanging on to the violently pitching ship by their fingertips. As the final mercs were put down, Wednesday's crew teamed up quickly to pull Wednesday back up. Shepard just watched as Brooks looked at her with a cold, calculating gaze; before turning away. Her field of vision was then dominated by Wednesday, leaning down with menace in her eyes.

"What to do with you?" Wednesday asked aloud.

"I won't give you the pleasure," Shepard replied coldly as she let go, tumbling away into the Citadel Wards below.

Much though it pained her, like the bladed thing still in her arm, Shepard and this whole plan was lost but Brooks herself still had a chance. She just had to make it to an escape pod and she could -

"Oh, that can't feel good," Sam said, looking down at the ruined remains of her toothbrush, which was now planted accidentally but firmly in Brooks' sinuses. She was extremely tempted to turn it on, let the broken thing scramble Brooks' brains and damn the consequences. However tempting, Wednesday would probably have something more useful planned, not to mention longer-lasting. She gingerly set Brooks down, careful not to damage the brain sure to contain all sorts of juicy information, but she didn't let it stop her kicking Brooks in her flat, unflattering ass.

"We're not done yet," Wednesday said as she managed to get the hangar ramp closed. "Garrus, if you're up to it you're probably the best pilot available, we need to get to C-Sec. I have a sneaking suspicion the timing of this wasn't a coincidence, and at least one useful Councillor has evidence I need against an extremely unuseful one. Wrex, get Vega on his feet, then the two of you put anyone still alive in a stasis pod until we can deal with then later."

"Oh, I've got another one over here!" Sam called out from near the elevator.

"Sam, I need you to take command again, get the crew back together in case we need them."

"Aye," she replied, heading back up to the CIC.

"Everyone else, get ready to get back into it."

Wednesday's suspicions were correct, their journey passing by desperate battles between C-Sec and civilians against the invading Cerberus troopers. Garrus piloted the Normandy as best he could, as the hangar ramp was unable to be opened at the moment, leaving Joker in the shuttle with his new friend and Cortez somewhere on the Citadel. Once they reached C-Sec headquarters, the sheer scale and coordination of the attack became apparent, with none other than Commander Bailey leading a desperate defense against a horde of enemies. From a distance, they watched as he was shot in the back by a traitorous sleeper agent, who was himself gunned down by his former C-Sec comrades.

Wednesday, Wrex, Garrus, Liara, Lurch and Solana left the Normandy in Samantha's command as they fell onto the back ranks of the Cerberus attackers, making their way over to the wounded Bailey and his ragtag team of survivors.

"Hold up, who are you working for Shepard?" Bailey accused, holding a pistol in a shaking hand as Wednesday cleaned the blood off her sword.

"As always, I work for myself. And if I wanted you dead, I would have done it months ago," she added lightly. Bailey seemed convinced, or maybe just tired as he lowered the gun.

"Damn Cerberus caught us with our pants down," Bailey spat as he began working on regaining control of the doors. "Turns out they've been busy recruiting sleepers, like this piece of shit here."

"Well, consider me a remedy to that problem, at least in part. Is Councillor Valern around, by any chance?"

"Yeah, he was meeting with the executor, before all this went to hell. No idea if he's still alive, the executor either, they've cut off our communications."

"Well then, here's the plan. I'll lend you Lurch so you can get comms back online, so Cerberus can be helped off this station, and preferably this mortal coil. I need to confirm if Valern is either alive or dead, he has information I need." Bailey took one look at Lurch and his massive cannon and gave a small smile.

"Got any more of him?" he asked slyly.

"Be good this year, who knows what you might find in your stocking," Wednesday replied sweetly.

Wednesday and her team cut a bloody swath through the Cerberus ranks as they made their way to the executor's office. Wednesday found it interesting to note how many of the ones in better quality armour expected her not to attack them, giving another clue to who had sponsored the clone project. As they burst through the final door between them and their goal, they found they'd just missed a bloody massacre. The overturned desk of the executor was riddled with slugs, as were the uniformed bodies of the C-Sec officers wearing the black and gold trim of the diplomatic protection section. Curiously absent was the body of the salarian Councillor, or any salarian blood. The executor herself, an older asari, lay dead on the floor. Wednesday leaned in and closed her eyes, dipping a fingertip into the pool of purplish blood to taste its secrets.

"This was recent, and she wasn't shot to death," Wednesday said aloud, pointing to the sword wound in her side. "This means Valern may still be alive, fan out." They searched the room, Garrus in particular looking out for any secret access into the keeper tunnels. After a few minutes of searching, Wednesday happened to look out the window into the offices below, seeing a chair move without any stimulus propelling it. It was followed a second later by a figure jumping down from the roof, leaping on exposed beams until it reached the floor, unsheathing a straight-edged sword. Wednesday wasted no time in jumping into the fun, unsheathing her curved blade and crashing through the plate glass window with a biotic charge.

Her charge ended with her in front of the armed figure, getting a better look at his many overt cybernetic enhancements, compared with her mostly internally covert implants. His legs looked entirely mechanical, and she withheld judgment on his optical piece as being an enhanced visor or inorganic replacement. What wasn't fake was his swordsmanship, reacting to her presence by immediately changing the angle of his blade to quickly attack or defend against his new opponent.

"Shepard?" he asked with mild confusion. The clone was not supposed to be here.

"Not quite," Wednesday answered with her trademark smirk.

Seeing that hated expression on her face, Leng quickly gave up the search for the salarian Councillor in favour of attacking the upstart who had stolen his glory. He stepped forward with a powerful slash, quickly stepping into a series of strong, rapid strikes. Wednesday blocked them easily enough, recognising the man's technique as one her father taught to some of the earlier graduates of the N7 program, before her time. As she stepped back, allowing her opponent to think he had a slight advantage, she turned it.

Catching his blade with her own, she stepped in closer and swept his leg with her own, making him choose between stepping back and losing the initiative, or potentially falling to the ground. The second wasn't an option, so he choose to step back, grimacing with rage.

"From your technique, I'm guessing N7, class of what, 72, maybe 73?" she asked as if they had been playing chess, not clashing blades. Her nonchalant attitude just pissed him off more. He charged in again, putting more power and speed into his strikes. Wednesday just parried them with an almost bored expression.

"See, what you're falling to realise here is that while Colonel Addams may have taught you everything you know about swordplay, he certainly didn't teach you anything even close to what I know, let alone what he knows."

"I think you'll find I've got a few tricks he didn't teach me," Leng finally said as his grimace turned to a menacing grin. Wednesday heard the gears in his leg shifting frequency before he jumped over her, somersaulting flawlessly and striking from above. Wednesday smiled genuinely as she barely stopped his blade, watching as several strands of hair fell to the floor.

"Well now, this could just make my day!" Wednesday exclaimed as she counterattacked.

"Think we should go and help her?" Tali asked curiously.

"Probably not, she looks like she's having fun," Liara replied. Garrus looked down at the duel happening below; his visor caught a glimpse of something. He adjusted his eyepiece with a filter designed to overcome optical stealth devices after one too many geth sneak attacks. While it couldn't penetrate the cloak entirely due to the technological differences, it did give him an anomalous reading about the size and shape of the missing Councillor.

"We might want to check out down there," he added, pointing to a desk in the corner as he jumped down a little more carefully than Wednesday, not having the benefit of biotics or cybernetic enhancements.

Wednesday slashed low, which brought about the expected reaction as Leng jumped upwards again. Judging the angle expertly, Wednesday thrust the point of her sword where his chest would have been had he landed. Unfortunately for Wednesday, Leng activated a second experimental system. Biotic fields sprang to life from the soles of his metallic feet, which he used as momentary stepping stones as he ran around behind her and made a thrust of his own, the sword digging into the armour and the flesh beneath it. Wednesday repulsed him with a biotic nova, turning to find him already prepared, but looking over her shoulder at the rest of her team now in the offices, near the corner where he had last spied the salarian. Leng knew his gambit here was done, so he sent a coded signal while he raised his left palm.

Wednesday had a second to be curious before the concealed biotic condenser fired out a blast, catching her in the chest and sending her flying. Leng then shot out a bank of windows before jumping out, once again stepping on biotic fields to increase the distance as he jumped into a passing shuttle.

As Wednesday gingerly sat up, swearing that she would dissect him for his cool toys later, she turned to her team and the now visible Valern.

"This wasn't a coincidence," he said bluntly. "Clearly, Cerberus is more of a threat than we had initially expected."

"Where are the other Councillors?" Garrus asked.

"The Presidium Tower," Valern replied.

"Spectres nearby?" Wednesday asked as she signaled Joker.

"Alenko and Williams are probably the closest."

"Even better," Wednesday answered with a smirk.

Bailey entered the room with a squad of officers and Lurch just as Joker pulled the shuttle up to the shattered windows.

"Good timing, keep him safe, I've got some business to take care of," Wednesday said, gesturing at Valern as she and her team jumped into the shuttle. Bailey just looked at her retreating shuttle and muttered darkly under his breath about Spectres and their lack of manners.

"Well, you heard the lady, look busy!"

In the shuttle, the cockpit door now locked, Joker enquired as to their destination.

"Get to the Presidium Tower, we're making a pickup," Wednesday replied. Tali then sent some data from her omni-tool to the navigation computer.

"Especially if you can catch that," Tali added.

"Tagged the shuttle he caught?" Garrus asked approvingly.

"Not quite as simple as you're implying, but yes," Tali confirmed. Joker just pushed the engines a little more, though as to the exact stimulus for it, none of them could say.

A scant moment later, Joker opened one of the side hatches.

"Bad guys at 11, about 30 degrees down," he informed them. Garrus stepped forward, the massive Widow unfolding in his hands. He sighted down the scope, exhaled and squeezed the trigger. With a sound volume matching the size of the barrel, the slug was spat out, traveling almost instantly to the target only to be deflected by its shields.

"Alright then," he said as he popped the overheated sink and lined up another shot. Between the first shot and the second, they saw a hatch open on their quarry, which had several effects.

Firstly, it gave Leng a view of what had attacked them, and his enmity with Wednesday and all she stood for only increased.

Secondly, it gave Garrus a convenient angle to change his target from the armoured engine mount to the pilot he could now clearly see. He took the new shot, the round almost igniting the air as it sparked off Leng's shoulder before making positive, devastating impact with the back of the pilot's head, sending gore and bullet fragments into the console. Both pilot and console died spectacularly.

Thirdly, as his shuttle lurched violently downwards, it gave Leng an opportunity to fire back with his palm blaster, the overpowered weapon damaging the engines on Wednesday's ride.

"Alright, hold on to something, I'll try and put it down gently," Joker said with audible strain. Wednesday just smirked at the fun challenge this guy was presenting, and she didn't even know his name! She would have to take his whole body, not just his head, to find all the toys he had hidden inside.

While Joker did his best, the landing was definitely not one that the shuttle would be getting back up from. Wednesday and her team piled out, heading for the plume of smoke where Leng had crashed. As they went, Joker spied an Atlas mech that had been abandoned for one reason or another, but appeared to be fully functional otherwise.

"It's Jokin' time!" he said to no-one in particular.

"What about me?" his red-headedgirl asked, remarkably calm after the crash.

"Well, it'll be a tight fit, but you can come too," Joker said as he hobbled out towards his new ride.

Wednesday looked down at the broken sword that her newest Cerberus enemy had tried to stab her with. Sporting a palm blaster similar to but much less powerful than her earlier opponent, as well as similarly acrobatic and with a similar sword, Wednesday had expected a similar challenge. What she got was disappointment as the would-be femme fatale ran at her, blasting at her shield until she was close enough to stab Wednesday theatrically. Except Wednesday's armour was built by Fester Addams, and the sword was cheap and mass produced, so it shattered on impact. Even through her mask, Wednesday could feel the shock of the failed assassin, followed quickly by horrible realisation of the magnitude of her mistake. Wednesday took only minimal pleasure from demonstrating what happened when you had a properly forged sword stab through thin armour.

"The more of them we kill, the more obvious it becomes that the only reason they are doing as well as they are is that this was a surprise attack," Liara observed.

"Sleeper agents probably helped as well," Garrus added as they advanced, following Tali's digital tag on the C-Sec assassin.

"It's their ambitions, not their competence, that makes them annoying," Wednesday mused as they reached a bank of elevators, watching the tag on Leng moving upwards along the Presidium Tower. The human Spectre just used her now secure override codes to open the next one along, Tali slicing into the code and removing the speed safeties, sending them rocketing upwards.

"Shepard, that you in the hacked elevator?" Bailey asked over the comm.

"Possibly," Wednesday replied.

"Well then you only have yourself to blame, because Cerberus just hacked the other one, and is catching up to the one the rest of the Council is in."

"Oh goody," Wednesday answered. In reply, she removed the ceiling hatch with a burst of biotics, before jumping into the roof of the rapidly ascending vehicle. She could see the other runaway elevator beside them, pulling out her assault rifle and taking aim at the vulnerable motors.

The Cerberus elevator slowed down significantly after taking a spray of bullets. As the cars came even she saw Leng jump to the roof, glare at her for once again interfering, then jump to another one as it passed. Wednesday shipped her rifle, getting her sword as she jumped across with the help of her jet boots. She landed just as Leng was about to blast open the hatch, slicing through the power generator on his back. Leng turned, intending to finish her off this time. The two of them had only just begun their deadly dance when the space between them was peppered with shotgun pellets, causing then both to step back. More shots followed, and Leng chose to jump ship rather than stay. Wednesday was caught somewhat off guard when the car came to an emergency stop.

Wednesday wasted no time in finishing what Leng had started, kicking the hatch open and following the sound of fleeing footsteps. She came to a locked doorway leading to a balcony landing for diplomatic shuttles. She tried to unlock the door, only to find that it had been locked by not one but two Spectre codes, meaning she would need three to break through. Or, as the rest of her team caught up, something a little less subtle.

"Oh Lurch?" she asked sweetly.

"What was that?" Tevos asked nervously. Not too long ago, she had been taking with Sparatus about how to better organise a defense of Thessia, as the Reapers pushed deeper into territories that hadn't tasted conflict since before the Krogan Rebellions. Now, she was running for her life from Cerberus of all things, accompanied by her fellows Sparatus and Udina, and the human Councillor's newest picks for the Spectre operatives, Alenko and Williams. Both Spectres looked up at the sound of impact on the roof. Williams pointed her shotgun upwards as a second impact sounded, triangulating her aim as more impacts and the sound of clanging metal followed, before firing. Alenko hit the emergency stop, the five of them piling out and running for the nearest exit.

"I'm reading a shuttle ahead," Alenko said as he turned right. They all heard something clatter in the empty elevator car, and ran even faster. The door to the balcony beckoned them, invitingly open. They ran through it, Alenko and Williams locking the door with their new authority. They saw the shuttle they could use to escape for a split second, before it turned into a billowing fireball following a missile impact.

"What do we do?" Tevos asked in a panic.

"Give me a minute, I'll think of something!" Alenko said with forced calm.

The sound of tearing metal grabbed all their attention, as the previously locked door was pried open, revealing the grey-skinned behemoth responsible. If anything, it was worse than Williams or Alenko were ready for. Wednesday and the rest of her team sauntered through the door, on alert for enemies but knowing that there were few things more dangerous than themselves.

"Close the door Lurch, we don't want any walk ins," Wednesday said with a hint of menace.

"I knew it, she's working with Cerberus!" Udina exclaimed a little too quickly. Wednesday just ignored him for now to focus on the fun people, specifically Ash and Kaidan pointing their guns hesitantly at her and her team.

"So, ignoring my least favourite Councillor, what's it going to be?" Wednesday challenged them, stepping forward slowly, purposefully. Kaidan adjusted the grip on his pistol, and Ash froze like she always had.

"I'm not just going to stand here while she hands us over to Cerberus!" Udina said, again a little too quickly. As he moved towards the undamaged door to unlock it, Wednesday froze him in place with a glare.

"You take one more step, and I'll have to shoot you," she warned him, pistol now in hand. "You were half right, Cerberus is coming, and that door leads right to them." This gesture seemed to finally catalyze her former crew to action, Alenko positioning himself between Wednesday and Udina, Williams stepping to his side, shotgun raised.

"Well, looks like we're at a bit of an impasse here," Wednesday said with her smirk firmly in place. "So, either you shoot me to stop me, or I shoot you to get past, is that about the situation?"

She relished the fact that they wavered for a second at her ultimatum, allowing her to step forward so the barrel of Ash's shotgun rested against her chestplate.

"You wouldn't," Ash said shakily.

"Well, look at you, all that therapy has just done wonders, hasn't it?" Wednesday mocked. She took a step forward, between the new Spectres, and found Alenko pressing his pistol against her neck.

"Don't make me Shepard," he pleaded.

In a moment of what was quite possibly madness, Udina made a break for the door. When Tevos, reassured by Wednesday's presence, tried to stop him, he pulled a pistol he had been concealing.

"Get out of my way, you alien bitch," he snarled as he pushed her down and raised the pistol. At that point, two things happened in rapid succession.

First, to preempt any unthinking action that might result in their deaths, Garrus and Solana shot Alenko and Williams. Non-fatally, not that they expected to be thanked for it.

Secondly, Wednesday made a short jump with her biotics, appearing behind Udina in the blink of an eye. One hand grabbed Udina's gun, forcing it away from Tevos' prone form.

"I warned you once, you sniveling worm, nobody stabs me in the back," Wednesday hissed in his ear. Then Udina felt as if his chest was on fire and simultaneously hard to breathe. He looked down at the wet sensation on his shirt to see blood pouring down from the tip of the sword poking from his ribcage. He gurgled out something unintelligible, before his body went limp.

"Look alive, we're not done yet," Tali said as Garrus and Solana supplied first aid to Alenko and Williams to treat the minor wounds they had inflicted. Wednesday looked up to where Tali was pointing her shotgun, at the spray of sparks indicating someone else cutting through the locked door Lurch hadn't yet ruined. Wednesday joined Liara and Lurch as they readied their weapons, only to have the door reveal a friendly face.

"God, I almost wish you would right now, save me the paperwork," Bailey grumbled at the barrels pointing at him.

"No Cerberus?" Tali asked.

"Looks like now that we've got comms back and organised, they're in full retreat. Gonna be a shit of a job getting things back to normal, but at least those fuckers are gone."

"Commander, it seems we owe you yet again," Sparatus said heavily. It was obvious that despite being grateful, it irked him to no end to once again owe his life to her.

"A trend I hope ends because we no longer require it," Tevos said in agreement. Both of them looked down at the body of Udina.

"It will take quite some time to figure out all that transpired here, and why he did it," Tevos added.

"Valern probably has a good start on that," Wednesday mused. "He asked me to help him arrest Udina today." Tevos and Sparatus shared a glance that spoke volumes between them. The salarian Councillor had once served with the STG, who were not above assassination when it suited them.

"Anyway, you know how it goes, so many things to do, people to kill, I hardly have time to think!" Wednesday exclaimed with faux exasperation. She took her team and left, leaving the Councillors, the new Spectres and C-Sec wondering how literally to take her.

It had been brutal, but in the end the Cerberus troopers had been repelled by her well trained bodyguards. Dalatrass Linron left the body cleaning to them while she retreated to her private office here on the Citadel. As she sat down, she got the uneasy feeling she was being watched.

"Who's there?" she asked the room in general, reaching for the pistol hidden in her robes.

"It's a shame really, that for all your security measures, you managed to miss that one assassin, lying in wait." In the corner of the room, Wednesday deactivated her stealth device, but was still little more than a shadow to the electronic security.

"You wouldn't," Linron bluffed hastily.

"A definite shame too, that your security system was compromised in the attack, making identifying the perpetrator only possible by their distinctive murder weapon," Wednesday continued.

"What are you going on about?" Linron asked a little shakily as she pressed her desk's concealed panic button, but no response came from it.

She looked up at Wednesday, who only smiled as she revealed a straight-edged sword taken from a Cerberus assassin.

"I'm just drafting what my report will say when I find out you were just another unfortunate casualty of Cerberus," Wednesday answered as she advanced menacingly.

"Wait, we can make a deal," Linron said quickly. "Fleets, armies, intelligence, whatever you want!"

"As someone once said to me, a bully has few friends when you need them. Looks like all your friends are here to help you." With that, Wednesday jumped over the desk, thrusting her stolen blade through the Dalatrass' concave chest and pinning her bodily to her chair.

"I'd tell you to say hi to Mordin for me, but he was a good person. You, I suspect, are going to the other place. Not that I particularly subscribe to any views on an afterlife, which is odd considering I've actually been dead. So either there isn't one, or I can't remember it if there is. Either way, I doubt it matters to you," she said to the now-dead salarian. The monologue had of course not been for Linron's benefit, but to muffle any dying sounds she might make from the security sensors Wednesday had altered to remove her vocal patterns. She gave the cooling corpse a look of disdain as she reactivated her cloak and leaving the mystery for the STG or C-Sec to solve. It was always fun to play with mundane law enforcement after all.

"You did this, didn't you?" Anderson stated more than asked as Wednesday finally walked back into her borrowed apartment. His face was larger than life as it hovered over the fireplace, and she could see every wrinkle as his brow creased in frustration.

"Hello to you too David," Wednesday greeted him with mild sarcasm. "And while I have done a great many things today, you'll have to let me know which one has irked you so."

"I'm being recalled to the Council. Apparently you killed Udina!" Anderson growled.

"Well, treason is a capital offence," Wednesday said glibly. "And you have experience in the role."

"I'm commanding a fleet out here Wednesday," Anderson argued.

"That's not the reason you're angry and you know it," Wednesday rebutted. "So, is it the fact that you won't get to play with your new ship or the fact that I killed Udina and not you that has you so riled?"

"No comment," Anderson growled, causing Wednesday to chuckle.

"My my, what's this?" Morticia asked. Liara and Samantha had turned up to her office with a prisoner in tow, one that appeared to have a toothbrush shoved fairly deeply up her nose.

"A present," Samantha answered. "This bitch was behind a plot to replace Wednesday with a clone and steal my work on the Normandy," she continued, kicking the so-called Brooks in the ribs.

"I knew there was a reason maman liked you," Morticia cooed. "Is that a toothbrush? How wickedly inventive."

"Best I've ever owned, unfortunately," Sam confirmed.

"I suspect she also has ties to Cerberus," Liara added. Morticia waved that off as if it wasn't important.

"You brought her to me because to don't have the facilities to properly interrogate her?" Morticia asked.

"Not really, I'm sure Chakwas has no end of persuasive techniques involving painful, invasive procedures or substances used for purposes other than intended, but mostly, I thought you might like the distraction," Liara observed. "I mean, with no Gomez here, it must get terribly dull."

"There are only so many people you can seduce to do things they never thought themselves possible of before it becomes a chore rather than a sport," Morticia agreed with some melancholy.

"Besides, consider it a challenge not to just scramble her brain with my poor toothbrush when she gets too annoying," Samantha said, giving Brooks another kick before leaving her at the mercy of Morticia Addams.

"Sam, can you meet me here?" EDI asked over the comm channel. Sam looked at the associated data link the android had supplied, finding it to be an upmarket hotel in an area of the Wards that had only seen minor damage. She was done with her current debrief of the recent battle for Admiral Hackett, and she felt she had certainly earned a night off, why not spend it with pleasant company?

"Sure, I'll be there soon."

Soon turned out to be a minor bureaucratic nightmare, but she got there in the end to see EDI waiting for her with a small smile.

"Sorry I'm late," Sam opened.

"I have been following your progress," EDI said lightly as she took Sam's hand in hers. "Some of your choice of curses I'm sure Shakespeare would be proud of."

"Yes, well," Sam said as she blushed, her anger disarmed somewhat by EDI's surprising charm. She was led into a nice dining room, where despite the recent attack some semblance of normalcy was present, which rather appealed to Sam's British bent.

"How can you afford this?" Sam eventually asked as they had a pleasant meal. She had noticed the android go through the motions of eating, and wondered what if any benefit the AI was driving from it.

"The commander has been granting me a rather generous stipend, regardless of my reduced needs. It has allowed me to explore certain luxuries of organic existence, such as a nice meal, or a night in this hotel."

"Oh. Oooh," Sam said softly as she realised the implication.

Dinner took on a slightly more rushed feel as Sam felt her body warm, her situation not helped by EDI stroking her leg under the table. By the time dessert was done, Sam was ready to give up the pretense and pounce on her sexy android girlfriend. EDI was surprisingly able to steer Sam as they kissed on the 12th floor corridor leading to the room she had booked. Once through the door Sam began in earnest trying to remove both EDI's outfit and her own, only for the AI to stop her.

"What!?" Sam almost whined.

"I had something else in mind," EDI answered. She gestured over to the living area, where a table had been set with a bottle of wine, some candles and a chess set. EDI led Sam to one of the seats, lighting the candles and pouring a glass before taking the opposite seat.

"Chess, I thought you had something more physical in mind," Sam said with mild disappointment.

"I still plan on sleeping with you Samantha," EDI replied, her girlfriend shivering at hearing her full name in that gorgeous voice.

"This is just the foreplay," EDI explained. "First, we'll play a game, and forfeit a piece of clothing for each piece we lose, and two for the queen. If we are out of clothing and lose more pieces, you can see behind you I have prepared several interesting items. For each piece you lose after you are naked, I suggest that you pick an item that gets to be used on you first." Sam looked between EDI, who she had been planning on seducing soon anyway, and the exciting and interesting array of items she could see on the bed.

"By Allah I'm in love with you," she said, then squeaked as she realised what she'd said.

"Good thing I'm pretty sure I feel the same," EDI said with a smirk, before leaving over to give Sam a light kiss. "But this means that I'm choosing white," she added, after having learned from Wednesday that everything is a battle, and advantages are always to be taken, not given.

Read about Sam and EDI's game in Little Deaths

Later, as they laid together in comfortable, postcoital recovery, EDI turned to face Sam fully.

"Sam, if I said I wanted to go out with Wednesday on missions, what would you say?"

"First off, why the change?" Sam asked in reply.

"I was involved in several minor skirmishes today as a result of the Cerberus hostilities, resulting in my non-participation in several key events. I feel that had I taken a more active role within the crew, I may have been more useful."

"Look, I learned from one of the best that most of the time, guilt like that is misplaced. Just be the most effective wherever you are," Sam replied.

"When did Wednesday teach you that?" EDI asked.

"That I actually got from her grandmother," Sam answered. "But if you want to go out, talk to her about it. The only thing I want you to promise is that if you go out, you make damn sure you come back to me, understood?"

"I can give you that assurance," EDI replied.

"Good, because now that I've tasted what you can do, a vibrator just isn't going to cut it anymore," Sam added. "I mean, what you did to me gives a whole new meaning to the term sex machine!"

"Good to know you want me for my body, if nothing else," EDI replied sarcastically.

"Shut up and kiss me, you gorgeous metal dork."

Her head was pounding, her body aching. Her eyes refused to open as the first hint of light had set fire to her brain.

"Oh good, you're awake," something thundered through her soul. Rasping breaths ravaged her throat and lungs as she tried to remember anything at all through the fog of pain.

"I'd give you something for the agony you must be feeling, but honestly you don't deserve it. Besides, pain builds character," the voice continued, shredding any concentration she had gathered. Eventually, through the excruciating torture of her current existence, she managed to string together enough neurons to remember how to speak, and then croak out the one word that summed up all her questions on her current state of existence.

"How?"

"Well, isn't that an interesting question?" the voice asked. "Some might say how you ended up this way was believing that just because you stole someone's reputation, even their very DNA; that you could also steal what makes them who they are. Although I suspect what you're really asking is 'how am I not dead?'" The voice, once soul-shakingly loud, was now merely the rumble of an erupting volcano in her ears.

"There were considerable efforts on both our parts," the voice explained. "Yours in putting yourself in considerable mortal peril, mine in making sure that you don't shuffle off just yet. I have to admit, it was looking very likely at one point that we wouldn't be having this chat, especially once you hit that apartment block. You looked almost as bad as I did after losing that belly-flop contest with a small moon."

It was an extreme struggle for someone who wasn't sure who they were at the moment, but the lessening of the pain the voice filled her with gave her the willpower to once again risk opening her eyes. Once open, the painful light now only a dull ache on her retinas, she saw herself as if in a twisted mirror. The hair was longer, the scars and wounds different, but the face of her genetic twin was unmistakable. Shepard took a few shallow, throat-ravaging breaths as she worked up enough energy to ask her next question.

"Why!?"

"Because as flawed and misguided as you were and are, you are still magnificent," Wednesday answered. "As someone with a unique perspective on mortality and its limits, your existence provides some interesting, unorthodox options for me. If you live of course. I wouldn't dare force you to live, but if you really are even a shadow of me, I think you'll find it very hard to just let yourself die. You'll live just to spite me. But look at me, talking to myself, must be going mad. Have fun!" Wednesday said as she left Shepard alone, wherever she was.

TL/DR: I'm still kicking, and so is this story. Now, go back and read the chapter you lazy person. Yes, you know who you are.

Not really much else to say, except that I hope you enjoy, and leave a comment if you really enjoyed.